After a date with Rarity gone awry, Spike is in an inconsolable mood. When a stranger offers a solution to his heartaches, he must accept.
Little does he know that he has surrendered his heart to a changeling: A rare, but most disastrous theft. It is up to those closest to Spike to retrieve his heart, and discover how far they are willing to go in order to protect it.
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I can honestly say that this is a grand idea, and one that I don't think I've specifically heard before, and not just in this community... but one thing that stood out to me was the line about his "childhood", in that she's clearly overestimating his life, and has no idea about how he lives... but that's to be expected, what with her knowledge of him.
But regardless, I can't wait to read more.
Promising start.
I wonder why none of those four downvoters have the balls to say why they downvoted. I mean, it's only a pathetic Spike fic in which he whines about Rarity refusing to jump in bed with him.
It doesn't matter how emotional, compelling, or comparatively well-written your opening chapter is, or even how much sobriety and realism you use to illustrate the embarrassing issues between Spike and Rarity. Only the dumbest of bronies will give a shit about this. I recommend you drop it and pick a genuinely interesting character to write about. Just look at how few views it has.
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Spike is a kid, It's understandable he'd have a less complete view of romance. Also spike is interesting when people take an interest in him, and judging by the fact that theirs more likes then dislikes, its probably evident this story is doing well enough for itself and people are interested in spike.
6253908
I may be reading in more than what you meant to say, but this sounds like a fairly accurate assessment of Spike's polarizing popularity. To those who relate to him or take an interest in him, he has a lot of avenues for growth, interesting asides, building out the relationships to ponies around him/to pony society, and mysteries about his character.
But if you haven't taken an interest in him, then you see a character who's just Twilight's houseworker, who is the antagonist in half the episodes starring him, and tends to be a little weak-willed and unconfident and wonder what people see in him/why he's in the show at all.
Also, if you look at Swash's profile he's a pretty big Spike fan, but has taken to going around and... trashing Spike in fics starring him? I can't decide if this is some sort of joke, a rhetorical tactic to play the devil to watch others defend him, or something else.
This is very interesting, and a good start. Looking forward to more!
This is getting good!
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I don't mean to sound rude, but you make him sound like he's turned into an emo-kid, or just depressed, than someone who's actually had their emotions taken away... but, to be fair, the best way I could express the phenomenon would be to imagine that he was replaced by a robot that has all his statures, movements, vocabularies (including comebacks) , and just about everything else, other than his mental feelings... but I guess he's still a bit tired
PS interesting twist to have the stealing thing be very rare (even to the point of being a sign of potential nobility) and its unique effects on Spike, even if I really hate it
It starts! Good job!
6266718 His deterioration turns out to be gradual. Twilight should explain it sooner or later.
6268156 well, if this is the high point, than it seems like he's just gonna go into a deeper depression, not like he would if he had his emotions removed... but it's kinda a moot point
Very slight bit of sparity well written in the back ground of an adventure.......
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A ship has a deck - not ground
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6301867 Fixed.
Damn! Shit got real!
Hope at the end, Spike's heart, takes over the changelings body from the inside out as Spike's new body!
That's the only way I see this coming out right in the end.
Good chapter. Keep it up!
I love your notion that changeling's bodies reflect their usual prey.
One quibble though:
Decimate means to partly destroy something (its original meaning was to kill one in ten). Saying something was completely decimated is equivalent to saying it was "completely partly destroyed".
6308056 Huh. Good to know. Fixed.
The yellow one finally talks!
Love to see updates of this story :)
poor Rarity bit on the diamonds
why!
hungry?
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quick updates are nice thank you
The "guard" Rarity was leaning against is called a gunwale (pronounced, "gunnel").
6328090 Thank you! I tend to keep my stories away from ships because my nautical vocabulary is so limited. Couldn't do that scene without a few Wikipedia tabs in the background.
Rarity crawled out of her hole and into a pretty busy part of the forest. First she sights Rainbow Dash, then she finds a cave, then Spike's footprints, then stumbles upon a confrontation. Shit's happenin' 'round there!
Well. Didn't see that coming...
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That's one heck of a surprise!
ok can someone please explain to me what just happened?
6351482 After escaping the changelings in the previous chapter, Fluttershy ran into the heart thief, disguised as Twilight. Fluttershy wanted to save the others, and the thief was able to use the situation to his advantage. He capitalized on everyone's confusion at "Twilight's" arrival and infiltrated the throne room.
6351683 ok thanks
Hearts are gems? How truly outrageous.
Great chapter, can't wait for the next one.
6260274 I find it amusing that most people dump on him for "not being up to snuff" in a manner of speaking... as if expecting him to accomplish the same things the main 6 do all the while forgetting he's a child. His age might not be specified in canon but I think it's more than clear he's not even a teenager.
6371344 Princesses assistant, janitor, cook, help in a fashion boutique, hero of the crystal empire, works in a library, carries a plushy, chases after older mares , rampages through ponyville, was the size of a full sized monster twice ,a superhero in a comic book, hatched from an egg who knows how long it sat in a pantry waiting to be hatched or turned in to an omelet, saved Twilight numerous times. yeah just in diapers.
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great story.
6371344
That particular issue is especially egregious when some of those people in the next breath say the CMC are, in contrast, great, when Spike has accomplished more than they have in-show.
I think that is mostly people who already dislike him and are stretching for justifications, or people that hold him to a higher standard (ie: a double standard) than the other young characters.
I really hope for some Spike ex machina, this story is suppose to be about Spike yet the whole time thus far has been main six rescues the damsel which happens to be Spike. I'm not saying this is a bad story, far from it. I just
wishhope that Spike gets to stand up for himself, maybe before Twilight wins, hopefully after Twilight fails.Oh Snap
I had wondered what Rarity was feeling...
And I am surprised it went here, but I also really like that it went here. Much better than her realizing her love for him.
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6391694
Crackle, and Pop!!!
6392962 xD
6392385 I was also surprised by this curveball, especially since it hadn't been even hinted at until this point. Maybe the dragoness is confusing romantic for the familial, just a thought. I've honestly absolutely no clue where this is going now but I'm invested nonetheless.
6395301
I don't think Twilight's love for Spike needs to be romantic for it to count... nor do I think it is romantic in this case. But that's my opinion on their relationship in canon, so the author might have a different plan.
Mostly I'm just covering my butt with that statement, though.
6395603 Nor I. I'm also not saying it couldn't be, as canon has never really showed us Twi/Spike's early years in more detail so everyone just draws their own conclusion.
Final chapter! I actually managed to finish a story. I haven't done that in nearly four years.
A special thanks to Arasam for prereading this chapter and putting to rest some of my misgivings regarding the ending.
Obviously, not everything has been wrapped up completely at this point. My biggest regret regarding the story has been my inability to develop Spike's side of his relationships with Twilight and Rarity, due to him being a zombie 95% of the story. Questions about Spike, The Changeling Kingdom's fate, and the crystal hearts have been left unanswered, too complex to explore this late into the story. For now, they're up to each reader's imagination, but I may pick them up again if I decide on a sequel.
That said, I hope everyone has enjoyed the story. I certainly enjoyed writing it.
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Great story move right along
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The moma dragon was referring to a what! ceremony
Time for a chant.
sequel..sequel...sequel...Sequel...SEquel...SEQuel....SEQUel..,..SEQUEl...SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL.
Please
6414416 I hope they don't have a kid yet, if that is what you are saying. Spike is way too young to take care of a child.
6414902 well it's not like being an assistant to a princess or shelving books or what ever....
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Hmm.
Decent chapter, but I also noticed the Completed tag.
No Epilogue? Seems to have ended a bit abruptly to me.
Still, not bad. Not bad.
--Spade
6415085 What? XD
6415444 Yeah, but anything I'd wanna write in an epilogue would be more of a process than a single event. Too much to fit into a single chapter.
Twilight may have realized her feelings for Spike, and he may subconsciously feel the same, but it's still gonna take a while for them to adjust to that development. In the same way, whatever's gonna happen to the changelings without a leader isn't an issue that can be immediately resolved. And there's simply too much potential in four crystal hearts to wrap up that plotline without introducing some new conflict.
Besides, I don't imagine much going on after the events of this chapter. They go home, the heart thief is imprisoned, and everyone will pretty much go back to their daily routine, albeit with some awkwardness on Twilight's part. I conveyed it partly with the closing lines about Spike offering to write a letter, and I don't think it needs much more exploration than that.
Still, the ending strikes me as pretty abrupt as well. I did consider a short little scene with Applejack and co. and Chrysalis, mostly for comedic purposes, but it would have ended the story on a weird, unrelated note.
If I figure out what a potential sequel would be about, I'll definitely consider adding some sort of epilogue to this that sets up that story.