The Wishing Flower

A Whisper And A Wish

Sweetie Belle clumsily ran on her two short legs, going as fast as she could. She could see the lake now. It was getting closer as she toddled along. Now, when one is trying to focus on the destination in which she is going, she forgets to look down sometimes, and most likely she will trip on a root or more possibly a stone. She fell to the ground with an 'oof'. She at first wanted to cry from the pain in her arm but decided against it. A lady never cries. Instead, little Sweetie Belle began to giggle madly. She looked up at the sky above her and the the white clouds. Her green eyes watched as they shifted and changed before her. Her giggling had fully ceased now and as she stood up she straightened her white dress. That's when she noticed it. A light brown stain had formed as she had been cloud watching. She tried to rub the dirt off but stopped as it began to spread.

"Oh no." she whispered. She looked to the river where, her sister, Rarity was standing waiting for her. She felt tears sting in the corners of her eyes. She turned back to her home and began to run towards the safe haven. She held her hands to her eyes as she wiped the tears away. They poured down her pale face. She reached the house and opened the door. She ran up the stairs into a desolate hallway decorated in pale blue. She ran to her door and opened it. She walked inside and slammed it shut. She threw herself dramatically onto her bed as she sobbed. She messed up the beautiful dress her favorite, and only, sister gave her for her four birthday. She wanted to show her how much she loved the dress but she, Sweetie Belle, had gotten dirt on it. Dirt!

She didn't know how long she had been laying in her bed, and hour? Maybe only half of one? She herd footsteps climbing the stairs.

"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity called. "Lunch is getting warm, darling. We should eat." She opened Sweetie's door to find the room
abandoned. Then, she turned to her sister's wardrobe. A faint, muffled sound could be heard.

"Sweetie Belle, please come out."

"No!" was the muffled reply.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling well?" Rarity said walking towards the wardrobe.

"I messed up my dress." Sweetie Belle answered.

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

"Well, if you come out we can wash it." Rarity said opening the doors slightly.

"I'm sorry!" She cried as she jumped into Rarity's arms. Rarity wobbled for a second before placing Sweetie Belle on the ground in front of her.

"It's alright. You should have just come to me in the first place."

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After they washed the dress and got Sweetie Belle into a new one, Rarity held her hand as they made their way to the Lake were their lunch was set out. They ate and chatted, well, as much as you could chat with a four and a half year old. They laughed and told one another stories, although Rarity's were always better. Sweetie Belle finally decided she wanted to pick some flowers. She stood and walked around as Rarity settled down with a book. Sweetie Belle wanted to find the best flowers for her Favorite, and only, sister. She walked around until she found a spot with purple, blue, and strange white flowers. The white one's looked like fluff balls. She reached to pick one up but it up so fast all the 'petals' fell off. She looked with wonder upon this special flower that was so fragile. She picked one up very much more carefully and stepped lightly taking it to Rarity. Rarity noticing her sister's arrival set the book aside for a moment and looked to her.

"What's this?" She said happily.

"A flower! I picked it for you."

"Sweetie, do you know what kind of flower this is?" Sweetie Belle looked at her sister.

"No, do you?"

"Absolutely, this is a wishing flower."

"What's a wishing flower?" Sweetie Belle asked leaning towards her sister.

"Well, this is. To make a wish you must, must blow all of the white things off and then whisper your wish."

"Oh, can I try?" She asked looking curiously at the flower.

"Of course. Here." Rarity gave the 'flower' to her sister.

Sweetie Belle took the flower delicately and blew on it ever so gently. She watched as all the 'petals' fluttered away in the warm breeze.

"What's your wish?" Rarity whispered.

"I wish we could always be like this, sisters happily."
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Rarity noticed the sun was setting as she lay down her book. She looked down at Sweetie Belle who had curled up against her and sighed a happy sigh. Gently Rarity dislodged herself from Sweetie's grip on her arm and began to pack up their picnic lunch/dinner. As she shouldered the basket she wrapped up Sweetie Belle in the blanket and picked up the sleeping four year old. She sighed happily once more. Her sister was special. Something so pretty and so fragile. It was as if you held her too tight she would crack like fine china. Rarity began the tiring climb to the top of the hill where her little home in the country sat. Sweetie Belle was fairly light so it wasn't any trouble to carry her. When she reached the house, she laid Sweetie in her bed and looked around the quaint room. She went over to the wardrobe and got out Sweetie's nightgown. It was a baby blue color with lace trimming. Rarity undressed Sweetie Belle and redressed her gently so she wouldn't wake her up. She took off her shoes and set them aside. She stood and turned to leave the room. Her hand was on the light switch when she herd her named called softly. She turned to look at Sweetie Belle.

"Yes?''

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now get some rest. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Sweetie Belle said as she fell into a peaceful slumber.

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Comments ( 18 )

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totallynotabrony

totallynotabrony #1 · Mar 27th, 2014 · · ·

You indent some paragraphs but not others. The chapter editor has a button you can press to insert indents automatically, so you don't have to space over.

Try writing with spellcheck and then pasting into the chapter. It can catch a lot of small mistakes.

I think you need more paragraphs. Try breaking them up a little.

I think a "slice of life" tag is appropriate for this story.

Your dialogue often has the punctuation wrong. See #3 here.

Overall, it's not a bad first story. Keep writing! You'll get better with practice.

Also, here's your cover art source:
http://chibi-jen-hen.deviantart.com/art/anime-Sweetie-Belle-sketch-253151149

Sir Top Hat

Sir Top Hat #2 · Mar 27th, 2014 · · ·

What? I don't get it

DBison

DBison #3 · Mar 27th, 2014 · · ·

this story reminds me of my older brothers first you think there great and cool and want to be just like them
then you find out there assholes then you find out there assholes you love