• Published 2nd Mar 2014
  • 2,961 Views, 34 Comments

Unexpected Family - Bama Journeymane



What was supposed to be a summer long sleep over turns into something more for Scootaloo. A mother gone, the coolest mare in the world trying to make things right, and a stoic stallion trying to hold them all together is just the begining.

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Chapter 3

The sun was already dipping over the horizon and the winter cold stabbed repeatedly at her wings. Every breath furthered the hold the chilly needles already had as they dug into her chest. Dash knew the dangers of winter flying well; it was one of the many things that were drilled into a weather ponies head during training, both inside and outside of the classroom.

She hadn't been in the air long when she thought that there might be some truth to what Candy said so she banked left and folded her wings against her side and dropped like a rock towards Carousel Boutique.

Landing, she trotted towards the door with confidence. In this hour the frilly little things inside were nothing to her, they couldn't bother her at all. There was a filly at stake.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique where every garment is—"

"Not interested,"

"Not interested," huffed Rarity before it all clicked into place. Windswept rainbow hued mane and tail which desperately needs a brushing and a month's worth of top quality shampoo and conditioner, a coat that hadn't seen a curry comb in ages if ever, and the atrocity that was the mares hooves: this was Rainbow Dash in her natural state.

"Is Sweetie Belle here?"

"Rainbow Dash, it's a school night," said Rarity dully.

"So?" said Dash as she made for the stairs. Rarity cut her off.

"Ergo, my sister isn't here, Darling. She is at home," Rarity chimed.

"So she doesn't live here?" asked Dash cocking her head slightly.

"No, Dash she doesn't."

Dash chuckled nervously, learn something new every day.

"Where does she live?"

"Why sudden fascination with my sister?" Rarity made a small circle in the air, "Don't you have your own little sister protégé thing?"

Dash groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Yes and I'm looking for her. She's been missing for over an hour."

"Oh my then let us not waste time," said Rarity finally understanding the gravity of the situation. With a flick of her horn the sign was turned letting everypony know that the boutique was closed. She wrapped a cashmere scarf around her neck and stepped into her purple adventure boots, yes Rarity had a special pair of boots just for her winter escapades into danger.

"Was she not at—burrrr— home?" asked Rarity as she tried not to shiver from the cold, the cold won.

Dash ruffled her feathers and answered with a flat, "no."

"Why are you so upset, Darling?" A hoof found it's way onto Dash's shoulder, Rarity was anything if not comforting.

"Candy Mane did something stupid and foalish and..."

"Long Stride is in town so it doesn't surprise me," surmised Rarity as they walked towards Rarity's parents place, situated at the base of Ponyville's one and only Windmill and granary.

"Long Stride?"

"Oh, him yes. He's a stallion about Caramels height with a dapple gray coat and a gray and blonde mane. I think he also has blue eyes, no I know he has blue eyes because he request a tie the same—"

"Who's Caramel?"

Rarity sighed and hung her head, Dash was hopeless.

"Caramel is—"

"Never mind Rare, we're here," said Dash as she trotted up to the door and gave in a knock.

The beat of little hooves danced their way towards the door. The door was illuminated in a green glow and was unceremoniously thrown open.

"Oh, hey sis,"

Rarity opened her mouth but was silenced as a hoof covered her mouth.

"Have you seen Scoots?" asked Dash.

"She was supposed to go to the skate park with her mom, why?" asked Sweetie.

She eyed the two mares suspiciously. Dash wore a long face and she looked a little like Twilight before one of her little freak outs. She also smelled funny, kind of musty.

Rarity likewise just looked worried. She could see that insecure little smile hidden behind Dash's hoof that her sister always got when she had something on her mind and didn't know how to go about doing something.

"Argh!" shouted Dash walking away from the door.

"Is something wrong with Scootaloo?" Sweetie's voice cracked.

"No, no such thing Sweetie Belle," Rarity as she ruffled her sisters mane with hoof, "She just didn't make it home so she's more than likely at the club house or at Applejac—"

"BOOM!" The twilight sky's oranges, purples, and pinks were drowned out as a rainbow wave rippled across the sky, a missile of rainbow and concern bolted towards the Acres.

"Mayor mare is going to be go bucking nuts over that," said Sweetie as she pointed towards the sky.

"Language, Sweetie Belle!" warned Rarity as she pushed her sister out of the door and towards the Acres. She could tell that her sister was just as if not more worried than herself and if she wasn't included she would just sneak around and follow her anyways.

Earlier that day...

The school bell rang signaling the freeing of young pony minds from the drudgery of school work. More than a few foals let out a "Whoop!" or a "Holla!" as they raced to the door, causing the usual bottle neck to form just this side of the door.

Cheerilee shook her head at the logic of children.

"Y'all wanna all head to the club house and do our home work together," asked Bloom hopefully. They had history homework and that involved reading, lots of reading and reading made her sleepy which usually resulted in her falling asleep and not doing her home work. Besides, Sweetie would usually read aloud to her and Scoots and they would take notes.

"I can't today!" said Scootaloo her wings buzzing in excitement, "Mom's taking me to the Skate Park today."

"But we went to the skate park yesterday, Scoots!" said Bloom flatly.

"I know, but my mom's taking me today and she is one of the best skateboarders in Ponyville. She's the only pony who can keep up with me on my Scooter that can't fly." said Scoots as she tightened her saddle bags.

"Alright, Scoots," Bloom said with a sigh before turning towards Sweetie, "You up for it Sweetie?"

"I've got singing lessons at 3:30 so I can't," she said as polity as possible.

"Darn it," cursed Bloom.

"Okay, can we meet up at Sugar Cube Corner before school so we can go over our home work together?" she asked.

Sweetie nodded yes.

"Whew hoo! I won't have to do home work," said Bloom and Scoots in unison.

Sweetie gave them a hard look, "One day you two will regret not doing your own work."

"Yeah, and one day bulls will grow teats," said Bloom with no small amount of sarcasm.

Sweetie rolled her eyes and then waved goodbye to her fellow crusaders. Bloom soon did the same leaving Scoots sitting on the steps of the school.

She watched a chariot come for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Silver gave her a polite smile, which was strange and Diamond didn't even acknowledge her as they passed by. Once the chariot was under way, the pink filly climbed up on the back of the chariot and looked back at Scoots pulling down her lower eye lid and sticking her tongue out at her.

Slapping a hoof in the crease of her other foreleg she quickly snapped it up telling Diamond, "Buck you," with out saying a word.

"Scootaloo!" scolded Cheerilee as she watched the drama unfold.

The orange filly's ears pressed themselves to her skull and she slowly turned to give her teacher a sheepish smile. The school mare gave the filly a hard look while tapping a foot on the turf waiting for an explanation.

"I... uh..."

"I want you to write, 'I will not make rude gestures towards my fellow students' one hundred times tonight and I want it placed on my desk before the bell tomorrow. Do you understand?" she said sternly.

Scoots sighed, "Yes ma'am."

Cheerilee nodded and then went back to reading what Scoots could only guess was a smutty book based up on the cover image, a mare clinging to the foreleg of a very buff stallion. Lovey dovey stuff, bleh!

"You'll get yours, Diamond Tiara," hissed Scoots under her breath.

Derpy swung by and picked up Dinky, like literally picked her up and flew off with her like some dragon did her prey. The Lotus twins picked up their boys, Snips and Snails. Truffle Shuffle was escorted home by his father, Horte Cuisine. The rest just ambled home on their own, leaving Scoots, Cheerilee, and... Twist.

The spectacle wearing filly waved at her with a big smile on her face offering her a peppermint stick, "Hiya Thootaloo, would you like a peppermint thwist!"

Scoots smiled and took the stick, quickly sticking it in her mouth.

Twist giggled and then looked down the road, "Candy picking you up today, Thoots?"

"Yep, we're going to the skate park!" quickly spat Scoots her wings buzzing again.

"I'm glad that you're getting thome one on one time with Candy," she said cheerfully before she Lyra strode up.

"Hiya, Sweet Cheeks," said Lyra affectionately as she ran her hoof through Twist's mane. The little filly melted like chocolate in the sun under that mares hoof. He made Scoots happy to see Twist so happy. And even though her mom wasn't the best sometimes at least she got to see hers unlike her cousin Twist.

"Theya later, Thootaloo," said Twist as she was led away.

Lyra turned and winked at Scoots, "Don't let your mom get hurt. If she does Bonnie won't rest until Candy is sleeping in her own bed."

"I'll look after her, Lyra, I always do!" chirped Scoots as she waved the duo goodbye.

The winter sun slowly started to dip dangerously close to the horizon and she could hear Cheerilee shift uncomfortably behind her. Where are you mom?

A few moments later, Scoots started to pace. The cold wind stopped that and she looked back at Cheerilee who was currently giving her pocket watch a scrutinizing gaze.

"I don't think she's coming, Sweet Heart," Cheerilee said with a frown.

"She said she would so she will!" answered Scoots defiantly. Turning back to the road she gazed and she didn't see hid or hair of her mother. She was about to curse again but was stopped as she felt something warm pressed against her back. Looking up she spotted the concerned eyes of her teacher.

"We will wait for a little while longer and then we need to go home. I can even take you home if you like," she offered.

"I can walk home by myself," said Scoots with confidence.

"I thought I would offer,"

Minuets passed and still no sign of Candy. With a sigh, Scoots trotted towards home after thanking Cheerilee for staying with her.

The road back home was long and fitful. Despite her trying to not think bad of her mother, a dozen or so bad things rushed through her mind. The snow felt slushy under her hooves, the salt was doing its job of keeping the roads passable but on either side of her were snow banks, walls keeping her caged in and cool despite the fact that she just wanted to lose it.

"Plump!" her hoof sank into one of the snow banks. Bearing her teeth she punched it again and again until she was huffing from exhaustion. It was always this way. Her mother was there and made promises and sometimes she kept them other times they were nothing, just a little false hope to keep the fires of hope alive in her heart.

She pushed open the door and immediately recoiled from the stench. The smell was a mixture of sweet and something sweet and salty. It smelt old and new at the same time reminding her of the earthy smell she sometimes smelt after a good shower. It was a smell she knew well but, hated: the smell of bucking.

She didn't make it through the door good when she saw them on the couch. Stride was covering her mother while placing gentle little nips up the back of her neck only stopping long enough to tug at her mane, which garnered an energetic squeal or a deep throaty moan.

Anger boiled up in her and she turned. Her scooter was leaned against the wall beside the door along with her moms skateboard. She was going to take me, she thought.

She heard a loud grunt from Stride followed by an excited whinny from her mother. The smell shattered her composure and she dropped her saddle bags beside the door and ran out into the cold. Gritting her teeth she recited how much she hated Stride, how much she hated stallions in general. Things were great until her mother got mixed up with one and then she would be placed on a shelf like she was a toy that could be put away when it wasn't played with.

She covered the distance between her house and Bon Bon's. She threw open the door and rushed inside. Auntie Bon, Lyra, and her cousin, who was actually her aunt but that was weird because she and Scoots were the same age, were good company. And Bonnie would always listen to her when she needed somepony to talk to. Lyra was just as good if not better than Bonnie about listening plus she was really touchy, that mare even knew how to preen a pegasi's wings and it felt so good.

The house was unfortunately empty. Lyra must have been by to load up the fire that kept the boiler boiling because the house was warm. Scoots needed to vent, so she went down to the basement and strapped on the sparing gear that Lyra bought for her and started to beat the crap out of the body bag hanging from one of the joist.

"Blam!" A solid punch pushed the bag away the chains singing in response to the blow.

"Splat!" both hind hooves caught the bag and swung it out wide. Moving in an arc the bag returned only to be beat back by the rapid forehoof punches of the enraged filly.

She kept at it until she was too tired to throw another blow, so she collapsed and started to sob. Tearful shivers ran though her body, and she screamed in frustration.

"I hate you!" she screamed, "I hate you Stride!"

She tried to punch the bag again, her blow barely moved it.

"I hate what you do to my mom!"

She head butted the bag,

"I hate what colts do to you,"

"I HATE YOU!" she wailed before she jumped to her hooves and then tackled the bag, her wings buzzed and the bag and she left the ground. She pumped her tiny wings as hard as she could; wanting nothing more than to tear it from the joist. After a few moments they gave out and she swung back and forth until it settled.

Her rump made a dull thud as she landed on the floor, her rage gone. She lay their in the heat of the boiler-room/workout room and cried until her eyes were raw.

An ear twitched at it registered something that could have been a hoof step.

"Somepony is here," said Bonnie's tired voice from above.

"Yep, and judging by the size of these wet hoof prints I think I know who," said Lyra.

"Thootaloo?" asked Twist.

"Pop!"

Scootaloo looked up just in time to see Lyra, apperate just a few feet shy of her. The mint mare pulled her feet and then pulled her into her chest.

"Ly Ly's here, you don't have to worry," she said while stroking the fillies back. Scootaloo sobbed into the mare's chest feeling a little less alone and a little more loved.

***

Dash landed on the front porch of the CMC's club house. She peeped in the window and saw nothing. Another dead end, she cursed. Taking to the air she flew over towards the Apple's house. In the failing light, the windows glowed like little bonfires.

Not even bothering with knocking, she barged in to spot the family sitting down to supper.

AJ's face still held the slight glow of sickness but she looked better and would look even more so when she got around to brushing out her mane. Granny smith looked at Dash with a knowing look. And Mac just looked confused.

Bloom smiled, "So, you have become addicted to my family's cookin'. Sit down, I'm sure Granny cooked—"

"Have any of you seen, Scootaloo?" she asked in a frantic tone, her eyes danced with a little surge of adrenaline.

The Apples all blinked.

"We gotta find her!" shouted Bloom before she fell from her seat on to her hooves, "Crusaders forever!"

"Hold on a minute!" said AJ as she got up from the table.

"Can't wait, gotta find—" said Dash as he headed for the door.

"Did you check the club house?"

"Yes,"

"Her house?"

"Yes,"

"Carousel Boutique and Sweetie's place?"

"Celestia yes, AJ, you're not helping," Dash groaned.

AJ taped her chin trying to think of somewhere else the filly might be. She looked like she was on the verge of developing a headache when Mac spoke up.

"What about Sweetie Drop's place?"

"Why would she be—" Dash groaned and trotted towards the door.

"Bonnie is her aunt and she goes there sometimes to cool off," Mac walked over and gave his sisters and Rainbow Dash a supportive glance, "If you haven't found her anywhere else that is where you'll likely find her."

"And how do you know this Mac?" asked AJ.

"Bonnie, Lyra, and Twist go bowling with Me, Mel, and Cheerliee from time to time. Sometimes Scoots even comes along," he answered while tying his scarf around his neck.

Nopony noticed the almost matching scarves Mac and Dash were wearing except for Granny. The old mare grinned and the little wheels started to turn in her head. She was just as concerned about the filly as any of the others, but the little detail of the matching scarves was too much for her old mind not to think about it. A thin smile graced her face; perhaps she would get greatgrandfoals before she passed on after all.

Like always Dash flew off leaving the other behind. One day it would get that mare hurt, thought AJ.

"Do I need to go after her," Mac asked his sister.

"Nah," said AJ as she placed her hat on her head, "leave that mare to me."

"But you're still sick, sis!" Bloom hugged her sister's foreleg, looking up with her big concerned eyes, "But, I'm worried about Scoots." She flashed a worried look towards Mac.

"Bloom is right, Applejack!" Granny Smith pushed herself from the table and walked over to lay a hoof on the small of her oldest granddaughter's back, "Mac should go."

"I'm fine!" said AJ with a stomp. *cough cough cough*

"You are too sick. You're still coughing," whined Bloom.

"I'm—" *cough* hacked AJ before she sat back on her hackles, "Okay, maybe I'm not."

She sighed, "If you're going to keep an eye on her you better hurry up, because that filly can get away fast."

Mac flashed them a smile and galloped out the door, this time stopping by the barn to pick up his snowshoes.

He tried to keep her rainbow tail in view but, she was just too fast. If he couldn't keep up at least he knew where she was going so he would get there eventually.

***

Stride strode out of the hotel with his head held high. Looking around he gave the town a steely gaze. He would find her if it was the last decent thing he did for Candy. He had visited almost every house in Ponyville at one time or another selling his wares. Sure, finding one filly wouldn't be hard.

Not knowing where to start he knocked on the first door he came too.

A gray mare with a blond mane answered the door, "Can I help you?"

"Uh... yes, have you seen Scootaloo?"

Her wings popped up behind her and her eyes narrowed, "Who are you and why are you looking for her?"

Was this the same bubby mare he sold the Vortex Mark 5 vacuum to two years ago. Her hackles rose. It couldn't be. That mare was nice and wouldn't stop offering him a choice of a varity of muffins. She wouldn't even let him leave without taking a doggie bag.

Was the vacuum defective? he gulped, Is she an unsatisfied customer?

"I asked why are you looking for her?" she hissed as she stepped forward pressing her muzzle against his.

"Candy was supposed to pick her up after school and something came up and Scootaloo is nowhere to be found and I was hoping that she might be here, but I see that she is not so have a nice day," he said rapidly as he backed away, pulling at his tie that had become very uncomfortable around his neck; like a noose waiting for the short drop followed by a short stop.

The mare's wings snapped to her side and she gave him an embarrassed smile, "Oh... I thought you might be one of those kinds of stallions... muffin!" she said holding out a blueberry muffin.

Stride gulped again before walking away.

"The vacuum is still going strong," she yelled as he quickly walked to the next house.

Does she really recognize me, he wondered.

House after house, strange looks, slammed doors, getting chased by a dog, and the worst one was the stallion how threw empty beer cans at him while he chased him down the street. Ponyville seemed a lot less friendly than he remembered it. Having visited the square numerous times he concluded that the rainbow mare must have meant that she didn't in fact need him.

He sunk back on his hackles and took a deep breath. The sun had already gone down and the town was only gently illumined by the street lamps and the moon. The snow had sapped every ounce of heat from him.

He shivered and then rubbed his hooves together.

"I should just give up and leave," he said lowly, "I chose a very poor marefriend like I always do."

Getting up to leave he spotted a lantern in the distance. Squinting he spotted the pony holding it, "Shit!'

Diving behind a trash can he watched the pony pass by; her light orange coat soaking in the lantern's light and her bouncy pink mane bobbing up and down as she walked down the road. He expected her to be frantically looking around. She wasn't. Her eyes were focused ahead. Following her, they came to a large pinkish house, it was hard to tell at night, but it seemed pinkish. Candy knocked on the door and waited.

The door opened and light from inside spilled out onto the street. A pale yellow mare stood in the door way her face twisted in what looked like a perpetual sneer.

"Go away Candy. She doesn't want to see you right now," yelled the mare as she trotted down the steps, "How could you?"

Candy laughed lightly, a high nervous kind of laugh that was obviously faked.

That was what he wanted to know.

"You know me, sis," said Candy as if that was some kind of excuse.

"Slap!'

Candy's head turned sharply, her mouth hung open with a bewildered expression on her face. Her tail was held stiffly out behind her.

She rubbed her cheek and then glared at her sister, "It was his fault! Not mine!"

Another mare stood in the door way, this one was a unicorn and she looked mad. She stomped down the steps and pushed Candy away from the other mare.

The first mare wrapped a hoof around the unicorn's leg only to have the unicorn pull away, "I won't hurt her, Bonnie."

Candy didn't look very pleased to have to face the unicorn. She took a cautious step back.

"That is not the way I heard it," threatened Lyra as her horn lit up casting a golden light on the ground.

The lights were moving but they didn't make sense to him. Cocking his head he saw it. It was crude but, the light was acting like a projector and it was playing a chibi version of what happened earlier that day between him, Candy, and the Rainbow mare. It didn't have any sound but, it did have subtitles. Strangely, they all said things that they didn't say; some of it was spot on some of it not.

The light faded and Candy stood stiff legged, unmoving, unblinking, almost not breathing.

"You're just like mom, Candy!" spat Bonnie her voice cracking, "Do you want to end up like—"the mare started to cry, "—like that."

There was something he didn't know. What had happened to their mother? Why did it make Bonnie cry, why did it make Candy...

Candy's legs shook and then she yelled, "I'm nothing like that bucking whorse!", before she galloped off towards her house.

Stride felt split. Even though he was currently very upset with Candy he hated to see her that angry. And angry usually preceded almost inconsolable sadness by a few hoof beats. On the other hoof, inside was a filly that needed somepony. He liked her very much and they did have fun together from time to time, when he was in town. But, she was weird with him. Sometimes she liked him other times she just pretended he didn't exist.

He sighed and then walked up to the door and knocked.

"I told you to go away, Can—" said Lyra before she got a good look at the visitor, "—oh."

Stride stood in the door way, his ears splayed wide across his head. He could hear two different sobs from inside one was loud. A crash echoed through house as something was smashed.

Lyra flinched.

They other crying voice was small and sounded more scared than angry. It was Scootaloo's voice if he had to guess. Her bravado crushed leaving a very venerable filly, to try to work through feelings she shouldn't have in the first place. And he couldn't help but think was his fault.

"What do you want?" Lyra said aggressively as she stepped towards him, her tail flicking out behind her.

"Is Scootaloo alright?" he asked as he loosened his tie.

"Why do you care?"

Stride ran a hoof through his mane and then smiled, "I've become attached to her in the short time I've been around her. I know that you don't think much of me but I do care. I care alot actually."

Lrya sniffed the air and then snidely commented on what she smelt, "Did you even take the time to wash her off of you?"

"I took a whorse bath and ran out to look, for well you know who," he said as she sniffed himself, his nose scrunched up, it was still there.

"Poor choice of words," said Lyra dryly almost cracking a smile.

"Do you think I could see her," looking down he pawed at the floor and then quickly looked up.

"Nah, she's pretty P.O.ed right now and she blames everything on you so that wouldn't be such a good idea," she placed a hoof on the stallions shoulder, "Look I don't really blame you for all of this. You seem to be a good pony but, you got caught up with the wrong mare. A mare that has more baggage than then even the Friendship Express can take. I think it would be in your best interest to just leave and find some other pretty little thing to park your pecker in, it would be less painful."

He moved closer to Lrya and gave her a pleading look, "I can't.... I... think I love her."

Lrya sighed and shook her head, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" he said backing up giving her an incredulous look, "You're sorry!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Lyra's horn lit up and the door started to close, "I would stay in chat but, I've got an angry fiancée and a sad little filly to look after so, good night."

The door slammed shut.

Stride lifted his hoof to knock again. Instead he pressed his head against the door, and growled in annoyance. He took several deep breaths and turned around right into—

"Ouch!"

"Watch where you're going... Stride!" said Dash rubbing her sore head. The pegasus looked awful, her coat was slick with sweat some of it frozen to her coat.

"She's inside," he said as she nodded towards the door.

Dash looked at him and at the door. She shrugged and walked to the door and knocked.

Stride took a few steps and then ran away from the house; wanting to be anywhere but there his short mane danced in the winter wind and his tail followed after him like a bridal train of misery.

"WHAT!" shouted Lyra as she opened the door for the second time," I don't have time for this." A pony brushed past her and down the hall the only glimpse she caught of the pony was the rainbow tail turning into the living room. She thought she knew who it was and her suspicions were confirmed then Scoots yelled out hoarsely,

"RAINBOW DASH!

Lyra shook her head and headed towards the kitchen; Twist and Dash could handle the filly, she had a angry chocolatier on her hooves and she was likely either chowing down on chocolate or muzzle deep in a tub of ice cream.

Dash didn't hesitate as she scooped the filly up into her forelegs. Her warm and tear drenched body comforted her in ways that she didn't think were possible. Almost all of the tension she was feeling melted away and her wings fell lax at her sides for the first time since the charade started.

"I'm so glad you came for me, Dash," said Scoots as she nuzzled against the mare's chest, she almost laughed. Any other time the two of them would have avoided something like this, it just wasn't cool, but it was nice.

"I'll always come for you, squirt!" said Dash ruffling the filly's mane.

"Awe!" squeed Twist as looked at the two pegasi.

They both looked at Twist and shared a blush.

"KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!" The knocking rattled the house and the three ponies heard a loud, "ARE YOU BUCKING KIDDING ME!" explode from the kitchen.

Heavy hoof beats stomped down the hall and the door was threw open, the sound of the door knob busting through the board and baton wall, made them all cringe.

"Evening Lyra, is Rainbow Dash and or Scootaloo here?" huffed Mac as he leaned against the door frame, his coat also slick with sweat from the trip.

Lyra jabbed her hoof in the direction of the dining room before stomping back to the kitchen, "If one more pony knocks on that door, I'll do my best to send them to the moon. And if I can't, I'll lock them in the basement and play flat notes on my lyre until they go insane and swear that near hairless bipedal creatures exist.

All the other ponies in the house were too scared to laugh at Lyra's threat, but they found it funny nonetheless.

Comments ( 8 )

Okay, now I have the chapters rearranged so that it is in order. Now to just write chapter four. I've got part of it so far and with a little luck, baring overtime at work, I'll have the next chapter by Friday.

Anyone want to be a prereader/beta reader?

4349732
Very good chapter:pinkiehappy:, almost miss it because it was already mark as read in my favorites:facehoof:, must be because of the rearranged

I would love to help prereading this history, although I never done it before:scootangel:

4354617
It's not to hard. The cool thing is you get to read it before anyone else. The not so cool part is letting me know about obvious word confusion and comma splices and stuff. But, I'm not looking for a grammar Nazi. Just someone to catch the obvious stuff. If I wanted a grammar Nazi I would have asked for an editor and not a prereader.

Still interested?

4354862
Of course I'm still interested, I would love to help in any way I can

4355192
Alrighty, I'll pm you a link to the next chapter when I'm finished.

Kinda sad, but it has its humor and it is relatable, thumbs/hoofs up

This was a good read. Keep em coming.

Still good with every read through

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