As a chiropterophile, I must confess to being very disappointed at the plethora of fics written after the episode "Bats!" Despite the bats in the episode being merely regular bats who live off fruit juice, the idea of bats as evil and supernatural bloodsuckers was apparently just too strong for many to resist. Even "Flutterbat" is often given supernatural powers and made a bloodsucker.
One day I actually posted to the comments section of one story pointing all this out. But then it occurred to me...rather than critiquing others' fics (which each of us should be free to write as we see fit), how about I fight back instead with a parody of the whole "bat=vampire" thing that bothers me so much? Thus, this fic, which is "meta" because the actual stories are referenced and parodied in the person of a young vampire fruit bat who reads them and gets ideas in his head.
To most people bats as vampires is fun. Considering that bats are a very vulnerable population and that stereotypes can have terrible real world consequences, I do not. I write this story not to criticize anyone else but merely to have some fun with the whole ludicrous concept.
It's a little unusual, but I hope some of you will enjoy it.
This story features a special guest appearance by Pinkiewise (from "Lauren Faust's IT!" and "She Saw the Light") and was pre-read by my old friend rye.bread.
Fluttershy has swag and Bacardi let's get drunk
This has a few spoilers, so don't read, unless you read the story first, or unless you happen to like spoilers.
Finally getting to reading this, as I said I would.
Got the general idea of why you written this, now just to see what it is you have written.
Okay, got through the first few paragraphs before another bat starts to speak. Me thinks Kumquat has quite the imagination, and fruit can't help but be helpless. Does not seem to stop Kumquat from thinking otherwise. Reminds me of a comment I made in one of my stories, of a young colt preparing for food domination in the kitchen, as he moves in to make breakfast.
Reminds me of a joke one at work told me. "Many people are like fire extinguishers, just waiting to be used. But when they are, all they feel is empty inside."
Well, yes! Drinking the life away from a helpless victim, even if just fruit, I'd call that evil!
OK, maybe not.
More like how people savor the taste of veal. It is so young and tasty, it's downright sinful.
At least the fruit bat is just sucking on juice. We humans at times eat the helpless young of other things for pleasure. Can't get much more evil than that!
I have.
Kumquat is not the only one. Seems many can't seem to listen to reason, and prefer the world they create, rather than see the world as it is, and the people in it as they are.
I gave mention to how some women like rough play once. But I did not say all, just some. Many did not seem to like that comment though. But like it or not, it is the truth.
Some would just rather not believe, or think such things, and not wish to have such things pointed out to them. It defiles the more tranquil view they made of the world, one they don't wish to see past.
Though that is just one of many examples. Some are more blind than a bat to the world around them, and don't really wish to see it. Or know of it. Far too many people, actually.
She does not know to the depth one will sink to hold onto one's own ignorance of things. Yet, seeing she likely has had many such conversations with Kumquat, she likely has a good idea already.
No, I think slapping his head might be more adequate. And feel better to her as well.
He forgets, or does not know the bane of silver, and garlic to a vampire. OH! and the holy cross. Can't forget the cross. That thing is power! Power to the mortal people!
Like he should talk.
His powers of perception I assume will still fail him just as poorly as his (not so) immortal powers have.
Seeing that he is talking about Fluttershy, that should not be so hard to do. But as a little fruit bat??? I don't see that working, any more than his other delusions he has had of late.
Though the door trick did work, in his thoughts anyway. That didn't help his situation though, it only boosted his (much too big for him) ego. And we are told reading is good for us. Depends on what it is we read.
This little fruit bat I also don't see filling much of anything she might crave to have filled, other than to look at something small and cute. That fantasy of hers is not so hidden, and often filled.
Well, she is, in one way. Just not the way he may wish.
Oh' This should be rich.
I imagine not.
Fluttershy can play that game too. But with results.
I am reminded of the movie love at first bite, which also happens to be the name of one of my stories, but not related.
The part where Dracula was having a staring contest with Rosenberg at the restaurant. I have few words for that moment. But it was funny.
See! I said that he would have that power over her. That much is working for him, even if it is not exactly what he wanted. But control is control regardless. At least he can make her giggle, if nothing else.
Now this I got to see.
Your master, fool!
Masterful? ... I think I just confused myself.
This part I did not fully get. She did her stare on him, and that lets her command a creature. So what was it she was trying to press on his will to do? Drop like a rock?
Not making fun of your story, but this part I don't understand on what she did to him. Not with what it seems to me on what her stare lets her do. I guess this is just your personal take on her powers, even if I don't get it. The moment was funny just the same though.
Something tells me his cage is not even locked. Though I am to find out soon enough, as he will.
OK' So, maybe the cage was locked.
I am instantly reminded of the old movie 'The Army of Darkness.'
"You will never recover the Necronomicon. And we will feast upon your souls!"
No. She can't be serious.
I don't see this going over any better than the last time Rarity had saw them, at least not with this fruit bat. With Persimmon maybe, but not Kumquat. This can't go well.
Rarity, be afraid. BE very afraid.
Again, BE very afraid! You just might die... Laughing!
That is once you find out what you are up against Rarity. Just a cute angry little bat is all.
I bet by now Kumquat is just eating up Rarity's words like a drink of fine wine. A audible drink of Rarity's whine that is.
No, I forget. That is complaining she is doing, not whining. The little bat possibly could not stand her whining anymore than the diamond dogs could. Actually, it might hurt him even more.
No, few could resist those eyes of Fluttershy's.
Didn't she do that to Rainbow Dash with a cat? Didn't do much for Rainbow Dash though. I doubt this rub in the face with the bat did not much for Rarity, but freak her out more.
No, he is. You just can't hear what his thoughts have been. The little monster has a foul mind, he does.
But I was also wrong, Rarity does like the fuzzy bat now. All Rarity needed was a little bit of rubbing.
Yes, Rarity has that kind of power on others as well. He will soon be under her spell. A spell, few males can resist.
Just as I thought.
Yes, a spell few males can resist indeed!
Now he knows how Spike feels.
Damn those EYES!
And some would have thought that only Fluttershy could be so hypnotic with her eyes.
Fluttershy may have some competition as to who could take control over this near helpless little bat, if Rarity keeps this up.
Him and Spike both. But I think the little dragon has a much better chance with her, as little to nothing that is.
Fat chance, little guy.
"Yes! I have a chance! And it's FAT!"
Or where things start to get more interesting?
Poor little guy. He truly didn't have a chance. If looks could kill, she was driving silver daggers into this little vampire's heart now.
In the words of Spike. NOOOOOO!!!
Not to make a big fuss about it, but her mane is purple. Of this, I am quite sure. That is, if I know my colors correctly.
No, he was but a master over an apple.
No truer words have been spoken by one.
He knows not who he F@#%s with! He will soon learn though. The hard way, of course.
Oh' that ill make his day.
As I said, he truly did not know who he be F#&*$ing with.
Now this S%^t is getting scary!
What in Equestria has he unleashed!?
I say to poor little Kumquat as I said to Rarity, BE afraid. BE very, very afraid! Though I mean it this time. We are talking about Pinkie here! Never know what she will do next.
I think Kumquat might have an admirer. A real one. How sweet. Sweet enough to give a vampire cavities.
Hope this works out for him though, little else has of late.
You said, "He" ... So Dewberry is a him? If it was what I think going on, I am not sure if Kumquat swings that way. Though I really wouldn't know. Not about that, nor what Dewberry was actually thinking.
In the words of Daffy Duck, “Those are some sour persimmons cousin.”
looks like something right out of the book of Major Pain. "Let me hurt you in such a way it will help you forget about your other pain."
How touching!
Oh' I soooo missed just who it is Dewberry is infatuated with.
How was I to know? Got it now though.
Okay, this was a funny story. I liked it, and I am giving it a like.
It had much to do with what Fluttershy was trying to impress upon Rarity. I think...
I understand. I do. It must be hard for you to see others make monsters out of something you love, and is seen by you as only something cute. And I can totally appreciate that. I can.
I am however a big horror buff. If you ever did read my two stories with the Magic card creature The Kezzerdrix, you would see what I did with something that is for some, thought to be a just cute little animal as well.
A cute bunny is hardly something for people to be afraid of, and yet I made a monster out of a bunny. Well not just me, but the one who came up with the Kezzerdrix in the first place too.
I am not saying your story is not a good idea. To me it is. It might work on a few. A few not so thick as Kumquat.
I admit, I like the cute over the gory. But I also like variety in ideas as well. I made four stories so far. Two of them meant to be cute. The other two meant to be sad-tragedies. At least in parts of them.
I like yours, but I don't fully agree with the given message. To me, a little vampire fruit bat can be a monster (as you almost made Kumquat out to be). I know, you did it to make fun of such a situation.
As much as that might suck, a bully can come in all shapes and sizes, and a bully of sorts was about what Kumquat was trying to be, but failed. If he tried this with something smaller than himself, rather than with something over 100 times bigger, he might have gotten his way, and a little monster he would be.
Imagine what the victim of a little ladybug must think of one, not that aphids likely think much on anything. Still, if it bites, scratches, or intimidates, it's a monster to something, and we as humans will continue to make monsters out of most anything we can think of. Be it something cute, or not. I did.
I also made fun of that fact, within my second story with The Kezzerdrix. Some of the ponies thought it was a joke to hear a killer rabbit was on the loose. At first some did. Not so funny to them after the truth of it was pointed out to them how real it was after.
I do hope anything I might have said about your story does not get you down, or offend you. I know I tend to do that at times, and not mean to.
Well, most of the time I don’t. To some I do. But not this time.
Just saying what I think, try not to take too much of it to heart. It's only my view afterall.
Good story to me, overall. I did like it alot.
Now if only I can get some to say a few things about my stories.
Sorry, just thinking out loud I guess. 
OH!
I can say that I found the bat that tried to be a bad vampire very sweet.
so cute!
has angered pinkie, and this would already be dangerous with the normal one, with your pinkie ........... there is no place in equestria where it can hide, from the almost omnipotent extradimensional entity and its terrifying powers .
great story, however, poor kumquat.
are you going to do other stories with pinkiewise in the future? I already love this pinkie
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The point is that "Pinkiewise" won't (and didn't) hurt Kumquat. She just wanted to teach him a lesson. As I said, she's nice.
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I haven't written a fan fic for years. I seem to have lost all of my creativity.
I also have an account at fanfiction.net under the name "The Enduring Man-Child" where I have even more fics...especially non-pony ones.
Thank you again for the kind words.
I think he learned the lesson.
anyway, I thought he would not really hurt him, he did just what he did with the bullies who had bothered sweete belle.
I had perhaps identified with what Kumquat felt.
as you also said, sometimes you forget how an almost omnipresent extradimensional entity can intimidate mortals, I hope I did not make the sentence wrong.
I mean i not kunquat ... wow, this shows how the story was written. awesome
Dialogue needs to be in "double-quotes" instead of 'single quotes.'
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Except these are animals.
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There's no standard exception in grammar for that. Contextually, ponies are people, and people talking should be double-quoted in the usual way.