• Member Since 26th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen November 7th

Quillin Words


"You mean I wrote that?!" - Quillin Words


E

A long time ago, Applejack ran away to Manehattan. For a while, it seemed like she would've stayed there. But something changed her mind and she came back to Ponyville.

Now she's come back with her friends, and old memories have surfaced. There are a few things that Applejack dreads about this trip, but what she dreads most is meeting someone again—an old friend.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

Hello my dear friend. I sure hope you have not sent this yet. Because I noticed an error.

So, I packed my bags went on a trip

It should be, "So, I packed my bags and went on a trip."

And another one.

if only because this time it wouldn’t be alone.

It should be, "if only because this time, I wouldn't be alone."

Yeah, just helping out a good friend. The artwork you did for this story was good, and I enjoyed the story. It was really good and interesting. And cute too. I am not sure how it is placed in the Sad category though. :p

Wow dude! This story was amazing! Applejack is such an awesome character. I'm glad she finally reunited with her mystery friend.

I am very impressed with this story. The plot and everything was genius!

Good work, Quillin Words.

3754918 Thanks for catching those! I'll be sure to fix them.

dude come on now, make a sequel, countinue this w/e it takes i need to see more cause this is awsome

Oh man! SEQUEL! Please oh PLEASE, this deserves a follow-up. Thanks for listening to my freaking out.

3756258
3754918

Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I intended it to be a one-shot for the Writer's Writing Grounds, but if more people ask for it I may write a bonus chapter with them meeting and finally getting each other's names.

Sound good? :twilightsmile:

Now this is what I look for on this site. Memories are all we own, and not all of them are pleasant. The idea of AJ's memories coming back so hard that they make her cry is very touching. This gets an upvote from me.

I humble guard of Windhelm and the frozen north request a sequel.

3757938 Why thank you. I do what I can to give what people want. :twilightsmile:

3758523 And I, the writer of this story, reply with this answer: maybe.

I will write a sequel if the right ideas come to me. Okay?:twilightsmile:

3758777 Quillin, I have seen that barely any of your fics get a bad reputation, so, if you write a sequel, I think people will like it. Just stating. I personally liked the fic, and I would defiantly read the sequel. If you don't, I would not mind. It is up to you, you are the writer after all.

P.S: If you don't write the sequel, then you can at least give us the name of that guy. BECAUSE I WILL SHIP THIS!!!!

3760325 The name is in there; at the end he says his name when tge switches to his POV.

Sequal, sequal!

:pinkiegasp: AAAHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That ending! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay then, not bad. I liked the sudden point of view change at the end. That was the real kicker. Also, the first person-ness went well, the only criticism have would be that you sort of ignored the dialect. I understand that using dialect would be tricky, given that the whole thing is in AJ's POV. The only reason this is bugging me is because I've been reading from Huck Fnn a lo recently, a book with so much Southern dialects that the author literally wrote an explanation in the preface.

Cheerio!
~Melvin G. Biv

3767661 As a southerner, I can tell you that writing our dialect is hard as hell. :ajbemused:

Thus, I ensure the reader knows it's Applejack, and will from then on proceed to read in her voice. :twilightsmile:

3768017 "Well, I don't have an accent or fancy dialect or anything. So it just seems to plain to me to see it without. Unless, of course, an Oregonian accent is a thing."

"Is it a thing?"

I love this story

That was a truly amazing piece of work that I would dearly love to see continued!

3776706 Well, I just might do that, seeing as so many people want to see it!

3778747
You'll have my vote for it :ajsmug:

3758777 Allright cool Watch the sky traveler

All I can say is....

MORE

Is that it? Hope not:pinkiegasp:

4549324 Don't worry. I've read the comments, and I said if enough people asked for a sequel, there'd be a sequel.

Well, a lot of people asked, so a sequel is in the planning. :twilightsmile: Gotta follow me for it, though, :raritywink:

OMG you have NO idea how much I love this story I almost cried with sweetness and sorrow. are you still going to make a sequel because if you are I'm all for it! :pinkiehappy:

5053758 Glad to hear you liked it! As for the sequel, I'm working on it, but it's coming slowly. :twilightsmile:

5058982 Okay! that's all I needed to hear! thanks! :pinkiehappy:

First of all: Sorry for the long wait. "Manehatten takes Rarity took me a freaking long time, then I went to Ireland, began preaparations for a Youtube channel and a lot of other stuff happened. This review somehow was burried under all of this. Oh, and I am a lazy jackass.

Without further ado, let´s get this review rollin´already!

Welcome my fellow bronies and pegasisters,

Today I will review Nobody and Anonymous, a story about one of my favourite ponies, struggling with the aftershocks of a decision she once made, before turning into the most relatable character in the show.

I´ll try to do this as spoiler-free as possible, but knowing me, I´ll fail miserably. So . . . Spoiler Alert!

There is no need to beat around the bush here. I think the like-dislike ratio shows quite well what my feelings about this story are. It is really good!

You tried to show us something new. A part of Applejack we did not know about, maybe not even consider it, because despite it being one of the most important stretches in her life, it only got two or three minutes of screen time. Thanks to a good use of flashbacks and emotional storytelling, you delivered a story, which tugged even on my rusty pile of unused feelings.

The ending was kind of predictable, because the story would have been pointless if it had ended any other way, but I liked it nontheless, because your build-up to it didn´t give it away that easily.

But my reviews are not known for being all praise, sunshine and rainbows. Get ready for some nagging!

I recall that I am one of those ponies.

This sounds kinda weird. To recall is a synonym fo remembering something. "I remember, being a pony which remembers . . ." just sounds strange to me. If you just write "I am one of these ponies" the sentence should not only sound better but it´ll have a lot of more impact.

“So make no mistake, I don't care for any petty possessions,” Nobody growled. “I just want somepony to care for me, to feed me...to watch out more me…”

I think here should be a "for".

I remember that it made me start to wonder: were there more of these colts and fillies in Manehattan? I remembered that there were always a homeless ponies wherever I went in the city, just like there are now. I guess I just assumed that Nobody was better off like me.

And despite the fact that I liked the conversations between Pinkie and AJ as well, I think that Twilight or Fluttershy would have been a better pick for those. I guess I just can´t picture Pinkie just leaving AJ be after her first Flashback. After seeing a friend cry, with her personality to make everyone happy, it feels slightly out of character. She is not known to give others that much space.

With that out of the way, I can give this short a final verdict of four out of five.

NightmareShredder:pinkiehappy:

6380737 Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it, and thanks for the critique part as well. I am actually rather angry at myself for missing some of those typos, because the version you've read is after I proofread it. :twilightangry2:

6386739 There is no need to be angry.:pinkiesmile: When you read something, your brain puts the sentence together how it should be and overlooks some mistakes. Happens to the best. To be honest typos don´t really bother me too much, because I am not that good in this aspect myself.

As I said, it was a good read and if my review helps you to improve your writing, I have accomplished everything I wanted.

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