The Batty and the Shy
Fluttershy ran to the mirror as soon as the door closed behind Applejack. Her heart froze in fear as soon as she opened her mouth. She ran her tongue over them, just to make sure that her eyes were not playing tricks on her, but they were not: her fangs were back.
“Oh, no, no, no, no,” Fluttershy pleaded to her reflection. Fear welled up within her and it threatened to begin to overwhelm her and transform into all out panic. “How are they still here?” she asked the mirror, but was it just the fangs, or did Twilight’s spell work at all? “I mean, it did stop me last night…” Fluttershy continued her conversation with her reflection.
“I… I have to go and get Twilight,” Fluttershy started for the door, but she stopped as soon as she opened the door: the sun was setting already. “Oh no, is it that late already?” she asked as fear shot through her like a cold bolt of lightning. Fluttershy was not getting to the library tonight. She quickly closed and locked the door, doing anything to keep her inside her house tonight. Fluttershy retreated to the mirror, she was scared, but she wasn’t about to just sit there and just let herself go again. She needed to be strong and she needed to be brave. Not just for herself, but for the Apples and all her friends. She gave the mirror a determined look, “I am going to do this,” she said, in spite of her fears and doubts.
With the sun’s last rays kissing the horizon, Fluttershy calmed herself with a deep breath. Her cabin was growing dark now; Fluttershy studied her reflection, but saw no change. Her heart leaped as she told herself that it is going to be alright. Then, her wings began to itch, and light began to fill the room. Fluttershy could feel the feral instincts begin to take over. She could feel the hunger begin to grab her, and force her to the door. Flutterbat had come again, but this time Fluttershy was prepared for her.
“No,” Fluttershy said quietly. She forced herself to stop, “I won’t go.”
Flutterbat responded with a hiss.
“You’re not that hungry,” said Fluttershy with her trademarked ‘animal whisperer’ voice. “Now let’s just stay here and find a better solution than just destroying the Apples’ Farm.”
Flutterbat was having none of this, she wanted apples, and she wanted them now. Fluttershy threw on the brakes, and forced herself back in front of the mirror. Flutterbat was not going to win tonight.
Fluttershy locked on to her red eyes and gave it her weapons-grade stare.
Flutterbat smirked, she knew this trick, and wasn’t going to fall for it again. She started for the door again
Fluttershy had to think quickly, “Oh my,” She said with her own sly smirk. “I would just hate for you to find that delicious gala apple in my kitchen…”
Flutterbat stopped, she was listening.
“I mean, it’s just so juicy and sweet. It has to be bursting with flavor…”
Flutterbat was drooling.
“I would share it with somepony, if they would just listen to me.”
Flutterbat gave in.
“Good,” Fluttershy stepped from the mirror and made her way to the kitchen. Then she began to wonder about what else her other side would like; maybe not just apples?
But Fluttershy’s thought was stopped dead by the sight of that pristine apple on the counter. In a flurry of leathery wings, she had grasped the apple and greedily sucked it dry. The apple’s sweet nectar filled her mouth, but then it was gone in a second. She needed more right now. Flutterbat smelled out the half bushel of apples hiding in Fluttershy’s pantry, and made quick work of them. Then another scent caught Flutterbat’s nose she slinked over to the corner to find out what they were. They kind of smelled like apples, and kind of looked like them, but Fluttershy knew what they were: pears.
“Why not try one?” Fluttershy asked.
Flutterbat did think they smelled good, and Fluttershy loved them, so she sunk her fangs into the fruit. To her, they were not as good as an apple, but they were acceptable. Fluttershy saw a way out of this whole mess, she just had to keep the bat occupied with new fruits until morning. Then she could get Twilight to fix her once and for all
Sorrow pierced Fluttershy’s heart, You don’t like me? Asked Flutterbat.
Shocked and surprised, Fluttershy didn’t know what to say. “I, I don’t know… I can’t just let you run out and suck the orchard dry.”
But I was just trying to help, said Flutterbat. You were the one who said that we help the orchard, not kill it.
“My friends don’t see it that way,” Fluttershy said.
But what about you?
Fluttershy took a moment. She spoke slowly, “I think that the bats do help, but they cannot take out every tree in the orchard at once,” Fluttershy started to feel uncomfortable talking to herself sitting on her pantry floor.
Can you help me then? I can get better, Flutterbat pleaded.
“I guess I could, but what would everypony think of me being a vampire?” Fluttershy worried.
We can keep this a secret. Only you and I have to know.
“But when will I sleep?” Fluttershy asked. She looked around at the remains of a half bushel of apples, and one pear. “And keep enough fruit around to keep you sated?”
I could not eat as much, Flutterbat gave in a little. If we work together, we can do this.
“Oh, I don’t know…” Fluttershy thought that it would just be simpler to just let Twilight take care of her.
Flutterbat got up and walked back into the living room and sat back in front of the mirror, and gave Fluttershy a stare of her own. Fluttershy looked at the pony before her; with the pleading red eyes, her cute, fluffy ears, a distressed mane, and cute little bat wings it was a package of cute that even Fluttershy couldn’t even withstand.
“I’ll just have to try…” She gave in.
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Hi WolfTheWyvern. Interesting internal conflict/psychological narrative here. Nice to read.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/3362086/i-hate-pears-o.gif
Delightful little one shot! Can't wait to see more from you.
Very well written! This fic should be expanded upon.
3712735 You know, I have been thinking about that a lot.
3725197 Better get to it then! :)
I enjoyed reading your story! In fact, I featured it in a blog post of mine. It's not much, but I hope it'll get you a couple of extra views. Keep up the good work!
3879589 Thanks a lot!
-WHK
It's good and I like the premise. Please continue this lovely little fiction, I'll follow it and see where it goes. Hopefully there'll be an update here soon. Ya? :)
Love it. I just simply love it. The idea that Fluttershy is talking to Flutterbat is...why the HECK didn't I think of that?!?!
Nicely done, Mr./Ms. Author. Thumbs upping, and shelving.
I'm tempted to make a shelf just for vamponies because of this fic. But I may let out too much info on myself if I do.
Some specifics of the things I liked:
1. “I guess I could, but what would everypony think of me being a vampire?” Fluttershy worried.
- Oh yeah! Fluttershy IS a vampire. Oooh sweet! I wish that episode was never spoiled for me. Then again, that may have been a bad thing.
2. Fluttershy looked at the pony before her; with the pleading red eyes, her cute, fluffy ears, a distressed mane, and cute little bat wings it was a package of cute that even Fluttershy couldn’t even withstand.
- Little bat wings? Those things are huge!
3. “I’ll just have to try…” She gave in.
- And will there be a sequel?
Some possible corrections to errors and points of improvement:
1. Fluttershy ran to the mirror as soon as the door closed behind Applejack.
- The door closing behind AppleJack is a bit vague. If the reader imagines the door closing behind AJ when she's in Fluttershy's cottage, then s/he'll be under the wrong impression. You may want to state that AppleJack left. I was under the false impression that AppleJack was still inside her cottage, that AJ closed the door behind her, until I realize much later that AppleJack was, in fact, not there.
2. Fear welled up within her and it threatened to begin to overwhelm her and transform into all out panic.
- Personal opinion: Wow, uh...you may want to refine this statement. "Threatened to begin to overwhelm..." That's...a doozy, a whopper.
3. Her cabin was growing dark now; Fluttershy studied her reflection, but saw no change.
- Cabin? I thought it was a cottage.
4. Sorrow pierced Fluttershy’s heart, You don’t like me? Asked Flutterbat.
But I was just trying to help, said Flutterbat. You were the one who said that we help the orchard, not kill it.
- Personal Opinion: Flutterbat's dialogues do not have quotation marks? Why not? Why not put quotation marks and/or italicize them instead?
6. I could not eat as much, Flutterbat gave in a little. If we work together, we can do this.
- Perhaps, "I could try not to eat as much, Flutterbat gave in a little. If we work together, we can do this."
5590689 Thank you for the feedback! Yeah, I never really had the time to go back and edit this, so it's kinda rough. As for expanding this story, either with a sequel or with more chapters, I have put a lot of thought into it, but I just have too many projects on my plate to start another right now. Thanks again!
5592673 Hey, thanks for writing it.
Whenever is good for you. A lot of us write at our own convenience, what with life and all that.
Wish there was a sequel,