Letters From a Little Princess Monster
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Lord Tirek, Prince of his own lands and prisoner in Tartarus, glowered at the underworld from between the bars of his cage. He had been so close, within sight of escaping from this place and returning to rule over Equestria
Then he had been defeated by a unicorn foal. No, not a mere unicorn. A fiend in pony shape, who had somehow wandered into this cursed place, listened to his well-rehearsed plea, and then began to beat him over the head with a tree of all things. Even trying to absorb the magic of the attack did little more than trap him in this infernal powerless form with weak claws and tiny fangs. Then he suffered the indignity of being beaten back across the paths between the other cages in this eternal prison while listening to the derisive laughter of the other fiends and tyrants imprisoned here.
When the enchanted chains latched onto his limbs again as she forced the cage door shut, he yowled his vengeance. The unicorn would pay, just like Celestia and Luna would feel his revenge. And his worthless brother Scorpan, and that bearded freak Starswirl, and any other creature who got in his way. If it took him another thousand years, he would escape again, and this time—
A glitter of light from the crystals that dimly illuminated Tartarus made a bright spot on the floor of Tirek’s cell, and he thrashed his tail back and forth as he crouched. The Spot was back. First, he would pounce on Spot, wherever it moved. Then, revenge. He crept up on the bright spot, then swatted down with one chained paw to pin it against the floor, only to have Spot move! Tirek darted from one side of the cage to another, pouncing on Spot with a jingling of chains and barking from Dog, who watched alertly from outside the cage in case the prisoner escaped and needed to be chased.
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It had been a full day since Night Light had met his daughter ever so briefly, and the happy smile on his face had not faded in the least. Velvet and his own happiness had been contagious around the house, making the twins unusually active this evening. They both had needed a good brisk chase around the nursery before being tucked in with the story Mo the Indeterminate Particle and His/Her/Their Adventure in Thaumic Acceleration.
While his wife was washing dishes, he took the brief silence before bedtime to prop his hooves up and open the castle newsletter. He was enjoying the comfort of his chair, his cup of decaf coffee, and the memory of the way Twilight had turned immediately to him when she had found the saddlebag full of chaos-dimethyl calcite petrification bombs.
Just how she had taken them away from the Storm King’s primary lieutenant was a matter of great speculation in the Office of Diplomatic Support Services, and just how Tempest Shadow had vanished out of the castle afterward had the Royal Guard tied in knots. Should she be arrested if she showed up again? Escorted to the Princesses for tea? Asked out for a date?
He stifled a chuckle before reading down the staff newsletter. The fourth floor corridor was going to be open next week after the flooring had a chance to dry. A shipment of bananas was late, so the employees should refrain from sneaking any extras out of the cafeteria. The mosaics of buffalo migrations on the Grand Promenade were dropping tiles, and until repairs were to begin, ponies were advised to carry umbrellas in the area. The extensive list of castle staff expecting foals had expanded even more, including the new additions of Graceful Pirotte, Pink Flamingo, Coquette, Bunnykins, and Princess Luna. There was to be a potluck dinner next—
The coffee he was swallowing nearly sprayed against the opposite wall.
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The Day had been busy, but by the time Celestia made it to her bedchambers, she had completed all of the critical elements of her impromptu plan. She had a filtered speaking tube to communicate with her staff, a slot under the door to slide paperwork and meals in and out, and enough books that she had not read to keep her busy for a week.
It was a lot like quarantine. Or prison with a view. From the balcony (warded with a powerful descenting spell and a pegasus repelling charm), she could see the Ponyville valley stretching down into the Everfree Forest and all of her beloved Equestria, which gave her a warm feeling (well, a different warm feeling). Closer, she could see down into the beautiful off-limits Royal Gardens, the hedge maze, and the statue of Discord, which appeared to have fallen off its plinth sometime during the day, most likely from suppressed laughter.
Given his previous history, Celestia really could not blame Discord for her predicament. She wanted to blame him, but if Discord wanted to laugh at her from being in heat, she would have been on fire instead of only feeling as if she were partially in flames. Still, she jotted a note to the night staff to go put Discord back up on his pedestal and poked it out of the ‘mail slot’ on her door before going to take a long, cold bath.
The next few days were certainly going to be the start of interesting times. She wondered how Luna was going to handle being pregnant.
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Luna had faced many challenges over her many centuries of life. There had been fierce monsters roaring for her blood and living shadows who sought to engulf her. Arrogant griffons and more arrogant royal ponies. Nightmares who prowled the shaded paths of the Dreaming and annoying photographers who seemed to lurk in wait for a single ill-timed sneeze.
Pregnancy was new to her, a mixture of wonderful and terrifying.
There was a tiny, living, growing creature inside of her. The thought drove away any idea about creating a Tantibus out of dreamstuff for a guardian. She had something far more precious and delicate to watch over, to care for, and to protect. For generations, she had taken care of her little ponies, but never the littlest kind. The very littlest kind.
It was one of the reasons she had fairly drafted Laminia into being her close companion, because the bat-winged mare was further along with her pregnancy, and being pregnant-er, she could answer the questions that books could not, such as how much ice cream was really needed to satisfy a ‘eating for two’ craving before it turned into just ‘being a pig.’
Thankfully, the answer was “Please pass me another bowl.”
Right now according to the books that Doctor Horsenpfeffer had given to her, the foal was the size of a hamster. Magical interference had prevented the doctor’s clever mechanisms from getting a more accurate reading, but she did print out a fuzzy photo with the colorful lumpy bump showing in her innards, a far cry from the tried and true procedure of having a wise old pony poke at her tummy with a willow branch to determine the placement of the foal.
Since Celestia was out of the picture with her hormonal issues, the responsibilities of rulership rested firmly on Luna’s shoulders, but only for a week. And besides, she had Princess Cadenza to assist with any issues, and the trusted staff about the castle who were prepared for any contingency.
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There was an extra adult alicorn in Cadence’s stomach, and it was trampling all over her internal organs, as well as sitting on her bladder. It was impossible to think, or even get a good night’s sleep, as Shining Armor could attest.
Really, it was just a light kick in the ribs. He hardly felt it under the armor he had started to wear to bed. The big chicken.
Worse, whenever she closed her eyes, Cadence could feel something, a place that called out to her like a salmon being called back up a stream to spawn. It had been a small itch in the back of her mind that made her sleep restless before she had provided a temporary home for the stellar wisp. Now as darkness covered the land, her mind’s eye could see towers and plains of glittering crystal, a home that the towering castle of Canterlot had never quite fit into her own heart. A place that needed her as much as she needed it.
A delusion of insomnia and baby kicks to her liver, most probably.
Thankfully, Cadence did not have to help govern, or at least until the foal arrived and had been adored for several weeks. Auntie Celestia was still running the government from her bedroom by way of memos, and Auntie Luna was stalking the halls with Laminia, her bat-winged ‘nurse’ in name only, so this evening should be uneventful.
She was just glad Twilight was getting along well in Ponyville.
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Monster curled up in the library oak in front of the fireplace and arranged her books. Trixie was sound asleep upstairs, Vorel was sleeping curled up around the outside of the tree (since the townsponies had modified the library front door into something more multi-species), and Spike had gone to bed even earlier.
She was not alone, though. Scootaloo’s parents were ‘supervising’ the sleepover from the comfy couch on the first floor, curled up around each other and reading books out of the foal care section while giggling to each other every so often. Her young friends lay scattered around the library floor too, each with their Element of Harmony necklace and a new shining gem fitted to them, thanks to Rarity. Both her older friends and her younger friends had been very busy today, and a study party was just what Monster needed to bring it all together.
Even if she was the only one of them awake.
Opening up the book on cellular biology, Monster began to pick her way down the page. Most of the words made little or no sense, but every time she opened one of her precious books or talked with her friends, she understood a little more, and a little more.
Someday soon Discord would escape from his stone prison, and they all needed to be ready.
And she would be, with help from her friends.
~ ~ Ω ~ ~
Doctor Horsenpfeffer was up late in the Royal Physician’s Office, but then again, she had been working long hours for the last few months. The Summer Solstice had brought a shock to her schedule with the introduction of Princess Luna into her routine, and a welcome experience, despite Her Highness’ startled reaction to having her immunizations brought up to date.
Being turned to stone was not normally in a doctor’s job description, but Celestia had approved double-overtime for her period of petrification, and Princess Luna had apologized reluctantly afterward, so no harm, no foul. Besides, it had been unwise to spring the full collection of needles for a complete immunization routine on a princess who last had been treated by a physician who most probably had a bone through his nose⁽*⁾.
(*) True, but to Doctor Bomb Bay’s credit, it was Luna’s fault. She insisted that a proper chirurgeon must look the part.
It had only been the first of a long series of mares from the castle staff stopping by the physician’s office with a ‘look’ that Horsenpfeffer had quickly gotten accustomed to, and allowed her to roll straight into the ‘Blessing of new life’ speech that she was starting to think she could recite in her sleep. At first, she had thought the wave of pregnancies was related to some magical effect from Princess Luna’s return, but after her first few changeling patients, she narrowed down the probable cause to some sort of massive changeling emotional burst at around the same time. Apparently they used pheromones to signal their fertile periods, and with so many changelings all ‘signaling’ at the same time, the air around all of them had become saturated with romance and…
The doctor considered herself lucky to have been holding tightly to her own regimen of fertility medication on that date, or she would likewise have shown up on the castle employee newsletter ‘expectant mothers’ list. Which reminded her that she needed to wrap up her work for this evening before Lieutenant Quickstrike dropped by the office for their latest date, another unexpected but welcome addition to her schedule.
After all, the handsome young pegasus had been so helpful lately. And he was good with foals.
~ ~ Ω ~ ~
The wisp relaxed a little as the night drew onwards and Celestia passed into deep slumber. Over the last day, the surges of hormones through her bloodstream had disguised its delicate exploration of the alicorn’s bodily functions and careful examination of the wealth of her experiences. Beings of cold matter were far more complicated than it had ever expected, and if it were not so desperate, it would never have attempted what it was about to do.
There were thousands of the cold matter creatures in this castle, and each of them shed tiny flecks of skin or hair, cells containing the same seeds of creation. The wisp had gathered them one at a time by Celestia’s respiration or where they had landed upon her skin, examined them in great detail, and drew its plans. A little snip from here, a bit there, one precious fertile egg scrutinized from beneath a vigilant spell, chains and links woven together from the templates provided. Each of the tiny fragments was different, but still the same in so many ways. So many possibilities, but to choose incorrectly would result in a body as mismatched as Discord, so the wisp limited its choices to the most common. Strong. Intelligent.
Focusing its magic down to the smallest possible size, past proteins and amino acids, down the multitude of phosphates and pentose sugars, to the bare atoms of creation, the wisp began to build. If it had to create an entire body of purely cold matter by itself, it would have given up, but all it needed was one cell. One tiny factory of repeating nucleotides, the starstuff of its solar home mixed with denser molecules and atoms, arranged just so, perfectly in balance. Not just a copy of Celestia’s essence, but something special and different, something unique.
One link at a time, one infinitesimal chemical bond at a time, using the extensive knowledge of Celestia’s mind and the focused power of the wisp’s magic to create…
A cell.
And then there were two.
And four.
Urged gently along by the wisp, the blastocyst continued to expand against the warm walls of Celestia’s womb. There was no time to allow its body to grow naturally, because interrupting the process would leave the wisp’s essence separated, and if Celestia placed it back into the sun before then, it would certainly die.
Ever so slowly, the embryo grew while the wisp faded and Celestia slept. There was not enough strength left in the wisp’s magic to fully form a foal, but the process could be nudged, urged along to a certain point where the wisp would be no more and something else would exist. Something it had never experienced before. Something that would live and breathe and grow in her belly until it became time for the new body to emerge, for him to take his first steps and see the world from new eyes. Something that would have… a name. And a mother.
Celestia settled down into her sheets in comfort, giving a pleased sigh. Her heat had cooled from a vicious burning to a strange discomfort, but at least she was able to stretch out on her bed and relax. She nuzzled her pillow and drifted away on dreams of playing with Luna’s foal, and if she would make friends like little Twilight Sparkle.
And out in the hedge maze, a certain statue fell off its stone plinth again with a thud.
Ok, *that's* the end of the arc. Honest, this time.
Looks like Cadence picking up the reign of the Changeling Queen had a few unexpected consequences. Now, what to name them...
Oh, well. It doesn't matter for the next half a year of Canterlot time, but it does leave Monster as the only unpregnant alicorn in Equestria, at least until Cadence gives birth.
Next arc we will cover the Return of the Crystal Empire, the birth of Flurry Heart, and the final fall of that coin. But it's going to be a while. I've got lots of stuff that I'm writing, and I'm planning on going to Everfree NorthWest and Bronycon this year (if the budget will stretch). I've got relatives in Oregon, so that's an excuse. And no, I'm not loaning you money.
Finished the last chapter (Which was Favorites (1) ).
Change pages. It's still Favorites (1). Must not have marked it as read ye-
Oh. That was a pleasant surprise. Looks like nature really does abhor a vaccum, and that includes a lack of alicorn foaling.
kitty tirek......... not sure whether to daw or run.... cats can be vengeful little balls of fur
I love the fact that the castle has its own internal newsletter for the staff. Probably released Tuesday, Thursday, and alternate Saturdays.
Not the first time I've seen parents have that response to written childcare advice.
8819780 Oh, there's always the chance that one of them will convert to the forces of darkness and become Nightmare Morning Sickness or Cakebreaker, Slayer of Pantries.
Yeah nice arc can't wait for the next
8819789
Or forego all loving ties entirely save cats.
And then keep Tirekitty instead, complete with Dr. Evil petting. Then again, Golden Delicious isn't all that bad...
And how proud is Luna going to be of her little sister when she learns that Twilight went into Tartarus and beat Tirek with a tree until her went back into his cage? (The poison joke was just icing on the can of whup-ass.)
I did the same goddamn thing in my chair. I think when Discord shows up, he's probably not gonna bother with any evil chaos given all the chaotic stuff happening around him. He might just want to kick back and watch the action unfold.
...CONFOUND IT CELESTIA! WHAT HAVE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT PHOTONIC-ENTITY CONCEPTION!?
Discord must be having the time of his life from within his statue. This well and truly is a clusteryay.
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I was just thinking the same thing. Good thing he is still a statue, otherwise aliens another galaxy away would be hearing his hearty laughter.
And who knows? Given all the 'chaos' going on hither and thither, maybe this Discord will come out NOT wanting to mess with ponies (not wanting friends either, so eh), but just OBSERVE them. After all, I seriously doubt he DOESN'T know about Twilight Sparkle and it wouldn't shock me if he wanted to try and adopt her as his own (Chaos)God-daughter!
Welp... that's three pregnant alicorns. Outyayinstanding. Let's NOT make it four, okay? I don't feel like having to contemplate the moral implications of monster!Twilight currently having the form of a foal despite supposedly being twenty-something, and then... well, you can figure out where the moral implication part comes in
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I remember Bill Cosby saying "When I was young, I had a million theories & no kids. Now, it seems like I have a million kids & no theories left"
I don't remember any time that Dr. Bombay ever appeared with a bone in his nose. The man was far too snappy a dresser for that. Thankyouverymuch.
newsmax.com/Newsmax/files/25/252d1958-2671-4bf4-a52c-f2aa56d673a9.jpg
(...waits for the young 'uns to go, "what?")
You know, I'm gonna have to hold back on my own pregnant Celestia plans now. There's enough hormones running around already. :)
I hate male alicorns. I hope Celestia's child is a girl.
8820009
Hehehe.
Thanks for the smiles. Between work and this head cold I needed it.
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Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week, and don't forget to tip Georg for his wonderful story.
Mo is best particle.
Since it's a sun-wisp made from Twilight's temporary universe, is Twilight considered the father?
Discord doesn't even need to break out to enjoy chaos, he just needs to sit back and watch. If anything, his brand of chaos wouldn't even register with the insanity that is about.
Non-virgin immaculate conception. Can’t say I’ve seen that one.
Heh, the wisp impregnating Celestia reminds me of a few stories I've seen involving Luna and the Tantabus.
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That's... a strange thing to hate. I'm guessing there's a good reason?
Considering that Cadance has described the wisp as male, you're probably going to be disappointed. She seems to be fairly accurate on these matters.
Aw poor Celestia. Didn't even get to have the fun part before becoming a mother. At least her and Luna's foals will get to play together!
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Huh. While I enjoyed the one or two episodes of Bewitched I saw as a kid, we didn't have cable, so the only Dr. Bombay I knew was the one who did Calcutta (Taxi, Taxi, Taxi") (which, due to our lack of cable, I still only encountered through AMVs once we finally got broadband).
P.S. If you want want something catchy that's by a real Indian rather than a Swedish-born Dane in costume, three I've run across are Tunak Tunak Tun by Daler Mehndi (also memetic), Nadiye Nadiye Kadhal Nadiye by A. R. Rahman, or Chaiyya Chaiyya (if you didn't already encounter it in Inside Man).
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The wisp is male, but did it know enough to create a male body?
And Male Alicorns OCs are basically the bane of fim fanfics. As are Alicorm OCs in general.
I can accept an existing character becoming an Alicorn but not a male one.
A male Alicorn OC just makes the stop reading whatever fanfic it is.
And I have read fanfics were the protagonists are reality warpers.
So at this point this timeline is gonna have what, seven alicorns? I can't wait for the doctor to try and figure out how Celestial reached 6 months pregnant overnight.
Welp, I wheezed pretty good there.
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*reads this chapter*
Yep, that's what I thought.
Tirek stuck as a cat is hilarious, I bet if he manages to get loose Twilight will have a catnip mouse, spritzer bottle, and other cat toys to distract him. I hope Luna has a bat pony foal... even better if its a bat winged alicorn. As for Celestia... well she'll have the biggest shock when she starts to show.
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Well it did say it collected the most common cells / DNA it could find. There generally seem to be more mare's about than stallions although as this is in the palace the guard might shift things in the other direction.
Nah... at least 37 more chapters to go...
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One of which Georg himself wrote lol.
Glorious chaos ensues. Someone get that statue some popcorn.
Meanwhile, Twilight's gotten spoilers for canon, but we went off those rails long ago. This is going to be several kinds of interesting.
All told, a fantastic arc, though I have to wonder what Discord's three rounds entail... and whether Twilight already won.
Just think of the fun when they attempt to determine the father of Celestia's foal
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The wisp had been inside Twilight since her entrance exam, it entered her when she grabbed the sun while surging. Was also what caused most of her brain damage, or at least that is what is hinted at throughout the story.
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Who even says it's going to be an alicorn anyway?
8821070 8820517 (whistles quietly) Just remember: "So many possibilities, but to choose incorrectly would result in a body as mismatched as Discord, so the wisp limited its choices to the most common. Strong. Intelligent."
Q: What is the most common, strong, intelligent type of pony around Princess Celestia at all times? A: _____
8821008 8820441 Ladies and Gentlecolts of the press, I'd like to welcome you all to our press conference. I understand there have been quite a number of questions about our trip into motherhood, and I assure you that Doctor Horsenpfeffer will be willing to answer them all.
Doctor Horsenpfeffer: What!
Celestia: Bye! (teleportation pop)
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Certainly sounds like one of the guard to me.
Your chapters come well-timed; this helped me survive a majorly depressive spring break. - I still owe you art, I believe. I have a list of things to get to for when my health improves.
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The fact the only baby it had direct contact with so far is one? Or did you forget the whole thing with Cadance and the Wisp?
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Her female secretaries because he not only said strong but smart.
We know guards are canon folder and those are not smart.
If the Wisp had said "Strong and reliable" that would be thing.
But smart ponies don't become guards, they open their own business.
8821089 The way you described it we aren't limited to one father or that they are male. Depending on the head canon Celestia's foal could have over a dozen different donators as the 'father'
I wonder if upon escaping Discord will thank little Twilight for all the marvelous Chaos she seems to 'naturally' introduce into the environment.
"canon folder" - is that like the official MLP show writer bible?
8821089
I'm going to say that the most strong, intelligent type of pony around Celestia most of the time is an alicorn.
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Have a Snickers, Luna. You're not yourself when you're hungry...
And now Celly is Preggers and Discord is gonna chip himself from laughing on the floor lol
Pick up the Phone because I called it.
When I said "Why oh why do I have the Feeling Celestia will be greeting a new arrival in about a year or so." In chapter 72.