30. Reunions and Regrets - Part Two
Letters From a Little Princess Monster
Reunions and Regrets - Part Two
Monster could feel the weight of the dead all around her. Dead ponies, their thoughts placed on bits of dead trees and stored for the living. Mistakes made and described so that other foolish ponies might not need to tread that dangerous path. She could feel the tug of their pages, calling out their warnings far too late to save one small purple alicorn from her decisions.
There were also a lot of Trixie’s crates stuffed in the library.
Huddled on a small ledge on top of two huge crates, in a narrow crack between Amazing Underwater Escape and Blades of Doom, Monster pulled books off the shelf and stacked them in front of her. There was no real reason why she wanted to keep packing books into that bright crack like some purple caterpillar determined to wrap itself up in a chrysalis—
She shuddered and kept stacking. It was dumb. Eventually she would have to emerge to use the toilet. Trixie would be upset if she ‘did her business’ here, a polite euphemism for pooping behind the bookshelves the same way she used to contribute her manure to the town rose bushes the first few nights she had gotten her courage up enough to prowl the darkened streets.
Twist’s rose bushes certainly appreciated her contribution. Twist said the roses had never looked so good, although she drew the line at actually eating any of them.
Her magical field faltered, dropping a book that skidded off the edge of the crate and fell with a loud thud to the floor. Memories of a simpler time swept out of the depths of her mind and carried her away like a dry leaf in a roaring flood. She clutched the surface of the crate, images flashing through her mind of Shining Armor and the ever-changing Fortress of Knowledge. The library at home had smelled of paint and new books, while this one had the overwhelming scent of old dust and living wood.
She breathed in, filling her lungs with the memories of Ponyville in order to keep the screaming roar of old memories away. The scents of outdoors wafted through the open windows, bringing a welcome counterpart to the dry library air. Sun-warmed varnish on the windows. Broken branches from the smushed rose bushes. The sweet smell of honey from the beehive. Some squishy yellow flowers she had always meant to look up but had always found more interesting things the moment she walked in the library door.
She breathed them in as far as she could open her lungs, trying to expunge the memories of crisp lettuce under her mother’s chopping knife, the crunch of cucumbers and sharp tang of tomatoes fresh from the garden. It was an avalanche of recollection that cascaded over her mind and thoughts, drowning them in a history that terrified her. Out in the distance, she could hear the calling of the townsponies as they searched for Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle was gone. Only Monster remained, and this far away from the floor, she could convince the earth spirits that she was not really here either. The onslaught of memories threatened to flood her into oblivion, roaring through the deep channels of her mind and swirling in deep pools of recollection. They fought against each other, black and white stripes pitted against purple and white stripes, rolls and knots of zebra lore smothering piles of fresh, new books. Feeling as if she were on a tiny raft, Monster struggled to keep from being swept under and frantically gasped for breath in the middle of their warfare.
Your so-called friends only pretend to like your weird little life. When you turn into meek little Twilight Sparkle, they’ll get bored and wander away. You’re only interesting because you’re odd. Bizarre. A freak of nature who never should have survived.
Monster clutched a book to her chest as she curled up in agony, her stubby tail beating against the crate beneath her. Hugging It would silence the seductive voice, but she had given up the new It for her sister, and the sharp corners of the old book only bit into her coat with memories of her old life.
* * *
Shining Armor galloped at full speed out of the train car only to slam his hooves down and skid to a halt on the loading dock, staring with wide white eyes at the cardboard box and the dark alicorn looking inside of it.
“Your Highness!” he yelped, his hooves seeking to reverse his panic-driven path. “I’m sorry! Don’t let Twilight—” He clattered to a halt at the thunderous glare directed at him from the Princess of the Night and meekly added, “I’m sorry?”
“She’s gone!” snapped Princess Luna. “I bared my heart to her in order to calm her worries and she fled in response.”
“Princess Luna, I know you’re upset—” started Shining Armor.
“I am not upset!” growled Luna. “Now, what has driven you out of the railed chariot before my signal?”
“I think Phobos and Deimos are gone. We were playing hide-and-seek before the train stopped, and… they’re not on the train anymore.”
Luna proceeded to use a profanity which had gone out of the language several centuries ago while glaring around the vicinity, her horn glowing a soft indigo. “They’re still in the general vicinity, but I cannot get a reading from Twilight Sparkle. She is either blocking me or has fled the village.”
“I could put up my barrier spell around Ponyville,” began Shining Armor with the cadence and tone of somepony making a suggestion that they were sincerely praying with every fragment of their being in the hopes of being turned down. “At least it would keep those two mobile disasters from breaking the Everfree Forest.”
“Nay, Prince. That would only frighten the villagers and your sister.” Luna sat down with a solid thump and heaved a great sigh, turning to the three visible adult ponies standing to one side of the empty box. “Hoofmaiden, please gather thy husband and we shall return to the castle. I have done far too much damage here for today. Zecora and Tallgrass, my apologies for driving away Twilight Sparkle. Please pass my regrets to your daughter when you see her next.”
She spread her wings, leaning back to squint into the blurred sky. Celestia’s sun was far too hot this morn, and brightness-induced tears had begun to trickle down her cheeks. It would be best if the simple villagers were not to witness their Princess of the Night with damp eyes and misinterpret that for weakness. She rose to her hooves in preparation for leaping into the sky, only to come to an abrupt halt from an annoying tug at her tail again.
“Princess Luna?” This time when she whirled to snap at the little earth pony colt, the words froze in her throat. Two other little fillies were standing behind him, holding onto a familiar stuffed doll while the little colt shuffled nervously in place. “Um. Twilight told us yesterday to hold onto her doll in case you needed it.”
Words failed her, swirling around in her mind without an outlet into the world. She could not depend on her magic for this critical task; instead she reached out with a hoof and gently touched the rough surface of the ugly doll. It was dry, with potential to soak up the tears of any anguished alicorn, large or small, and its months out in the Everfree had given it small rips and wrinkles that cried out for a compassionate pony with needle and thread. She ran a hoof through the tangled yarn mane, uncombed and wild as the little pony who truly needed her embrace at this trying time.
“No,” she managed to rasp. “We think it best if Twilight Sparkle were to retain custody of Miss Smarty Pants for now.”
“We don’t know where she is,” said the little earth pony colt, waving one hoof into the forest of adult legs that surrounded him at that altitude. “Other than she went that way somewhere.”
Luna considered the problem while cradling the doll under one leg. The memories of being hunted like a wild animal must have been haunting her little sister to an terrifying extreme, particularly with Prince Consort Shining Armor and Princess Cadence in the vicinity. The pressure of the doll made her own role in adding to that terror seem milder, an accidental injury that still stung, but without the sharp edge that it had seemed to deserve.
“Children,” she began, “being as Miss Smarty Pants is not a socially acceptable companion for your Princess of the Night, and that it seems your friend needs the comfort of her presence, would you do me the favor of locating her so that I may return it? You may consider it as a game of Seek and Hide, a pleasant game that my sister and I used to play in our old home. And—” she added, thinking of the trip up here and the undoubtedly upset parents inside the train car “—if I could get you to look for two additional missing foals.”
* * *
Waves of emotional turmoil crashed across the small purple alicorn draped over a thick book, holding it with all the intensity of a drowning pony holding onto a floating cushion. Every time a small voice outside would call her former name, the waves rose higher and the tremors grew. A faint haze of purple magic gathered around Monster several times, her old teleport spell which would rip her from the library and throw her frail body out into the dark forest where she belonged. “Dream. Not dream,” she mumbled, fighting to control her tears and dampen her spell which would rip apart countless precious books even as it gave her an escape.
Finally she lifted her head, trembling as she faced the spheres of glass that clung to the library ceiling like breakable stars. When she fought with her inner demons in the forest, the voice of mom was a beacon through the night to follow, but now she only had her own voice to follow, and she lifted it to the sky in a thready song to drive away the nightmares.
♫ I’m all alone
so much alone
there is none here to guide me
All alone
so much alone
none to comfort or to hide me ♫
A faint scratching noise from the window made Monster cringe back into the darkness between the crates. It did not sound like a pony come to disturb her, but more like a cat or dog attempting to gain a purchase on the open windowsill. It continued for a short time with small whispers between attempts until a single tiny purple hoof popped into view, thrown over the sill with more scrabbling noises until the rest of the foal followed, balanced on the narrow windowsill with a juvenile cry of triumph. The infant unicorn colt was nearly her exact color of purple, with a creamy white mane and tail that had a chewed look to it, as if gum had been stuck in it recently and had to be chopped free. He looked outside the window and lit his little horn with a surprisingly strong violet glow, clinging to the windowsill until a second unicorn colt levitated into view. This one had a dramatic shock of brilliant red that filled his entire mane and tangled tail, contrasting badly with the rich, dark blue of his coat. That hue of blue seemed to slam directly into her heart, and both little colts looked up at the resulting gasp.
“Pretty music stopped,” said the colt being levitated, his bright blue eyes peering everywhere in the library.
“Mommy?” said the other. “Are you here, mommy?”
“No,” sobbed Monster, cringing back into her dark book cave. “Mommy’s not here.”
Little rustles and whispers came from below, and after a while there was a familiar scrabbling as the little blue colt hung precariously off the edge of her crate, trying without success to get a hoofhold and pull himself up. The violet magic boosting him up slipped, and Monster reached out with her own magic to catch him without thinking, placing him gently on the crate where he sat down with a squish of his loaded diaper and stared at her.
“Dusk,” sounded a little voice from down on the library floor. “Boost!”
“Shh!” admonished the little blue colt, not looking away from Monster. “She looks like you.”
“Wanna see! Wanna see! Boost!”
Monster crept to the edge of the crate and looked down at the excited purple colt looking back up. He did look somewhat familiar, much like the face who looked at her out of the library mirror, more so now than before she had dyed her entire body purple.
“Up! Up!” he bubbled, hopping up and down in place, squirming in a happy dance as Monster picked him up and sat him down next to his brother in an identical squish of loaded diaper.
Both of the little colts sat entranced by her face, matching her uncomfortable glare with fascinated intense looks of their own. Those piercing blue eyes were so much like the mother she could only vaguely remember in blinding flashes of memory, and every silent moment that passed added another weight of iron to her heart. “Was… your mommy on the train?”
There was a synchronized pattern to the little colt’s leaps of joy, and Monster kept an uneasy eye on them as they bounced in alternating hops at the very edge of the tall crate, unfazed by the long drop to the solid floor just a hoof or two away.
“Mommy loves train!” exclaimed the purple colt, his patchy mane flying with every bounce. “We got gum under the seats!”
“Caddy got candy!” bubbled his brother. “Daddy didn’t like. Says we spoileded.”
“Cadence?” asked Monster, feeling her heart sink to her hooves.
“Caddy fun! Play hide with Shiny!” The little purple colt bounded into her dark cave, followed by the other one, both curling up in an empty shelf and shushing each other while giggling.
The images that flickered in front of her eyes were faded and blurred, a soft pink presence with both wings and horn who wiped away tears and kissed boo boos. She wanted to be angry, but there was nothing there but a dark and cold pit. She had been replaced. While Monster had been a tortured presence in the Everfree Forest, life had gone on without her. Mother had sex and babies, and Cadence was foalsitting them.
She was not needed anymore by either of her mothers.
Even Cadence had abandoned her.
Despair welled up inside her at the thought. Monster had been so afraid of Twilight Sparkle, had tried so hard to be Twilight Sparkle, but it no longer mattered. Twilight Sparkle was gone, and all that was left was the monster. She ran a hoof down the old, tattered book and held it against her chest while sagging to the rough wood of the crate’s surface. Tears followed, but before the first one had landed, the two little colts had bolted from their hiding place and nuzzled her on each side of the face.
“Don’ cry.”
“Yeah. We can still play hide, right?”
“Shiny is looking. We always get a cookie when he finds us.”
“Cady gives us kisses and says we’re little rascals.”
“Just leave me alone,” moaned Monster, clutching the book so hard the cover had begun to buckle. “Just… go.”
“What’s alone?” Monster looked up at the two curious little faces, each with their head cocked in opposite directions.
“It’s… when you don’t have anypony else,” she murmured. “All by yourself.”
“But we’re never by yourself,” said the blue colt. “I’ve got Dawn.”
“And I’ve got Dusk,” said the purple colt.
“And Shiny has Caddy,” said Dusk.
“And mommy has daddy,” said Dawn.
“And Pincess Luna has Celstia!” declared Dusk with a sharp nod that cascaded white mane down over his eyes. “And Twilight. She said so.”
“Who do you have?” asked Dusk, his big blue eyes seeming to look to the very core of Monster’s soul. “Where’s your mommy?”
“I d-don’t h-have one,” sobbed Monster. “I h-had one, b-b-b-ut…” She trailed off with a shudder, the whirl of black, purple and white stripes filling her mind as she wailed, “She was stolen by a buh… buh… bug!”
* * *
Despite the warm summer sunshine, Night Light shivered from the chill as he stood on the train loading dock and looked into the small town, hoping beyond all else to see a small flash of purple. Twelve years. It had been so long since he had last seen his little foal, suspended in a ball of pure magic before the school testing chamber turned to chaos and cacti. Twilight Velvet had broken down for weeks afterwards, and it had been his responsibility to watch over his wife as his son and daughter-in-law went out into the wild forest in search of his little Twiley. As the years passed, the hole she left in their hearts remained, even barricaded off with warning signs and fences to prevent falling into the pit of dark despair again. Reports of a strange monster in the forest had ripped those fences around their hearts away, and twice he had needed to physically restrain his frantic wife when Shining Armor and Princess Cadence returned from their trips covered in dirt and ashes.
She was alive. Far more than that, she was frightened in a strange place, and as much as his fatherly instincts wanted to drive him into the emerald forest screaming her name back then, they were far more active now. All he wanted was a single glance, a look into her eyes that was not stamped onto a piece of paper and shown to him by her friends. He had restrained himself from hugging the stuffing out of the silly little pegasus photographer a few minutes ago, but Twilight Velvet was somewhat less restrained, and he sincerely hoped she would run out of hugs before causing any lasting damage to the town. His wife was still wrapped in an embrace with Zecora, the both of them pouring tears of happiness and worry into each other’s coats, with Princess Luna standing close at hoof holding a box of tissues, of which she was partaking in a quiet fashion. The only ones missing from the celebration was the changeling, who could have been anypony from the conductor to the tan earth pony slipping onto the train, and Trixie Lulamoon, who obviously was not here or she would have been standing on a platform, begging for attention.
“Hey.” The quiet voice from his side made Night Light look, and then look again when his first look failed to see the pony talking. “Pops, it’s Trixie. Menace… I mean Twilight is over at the library right now, crying her eyes out with your two little terrors. Can you run over there and keep an eye on her while I go talk to her crazy parents? The other crazy parents, not you.”
“Yes?” Night Light looked around, still not seeing the annoying blue unicorn and expecting her to come springing out of a box somewhere at any moment. “Trixie, is that really you? I don’t know where the library is.”
“It’s right over there.” A brief pause ensued, followed by the sound of hoof meeting forehead. “Look over towards the center of town where that big tree sits. More to your left. That’s it. Just don’t go inside right away. She’s… not feeling well.”
There was the sound of scurrying hooves headed towards the cluster of mares, and Night Light turned his own hooves in the direction of the library, slowly at first, but quickening to a rapid trot within a few steps.
The town seemed to flow by as if it were only a dream, the huge oak tree in the center of town growing larger in his sight until he slowed his headlong pace to catch his breath, trying not to pant. It was important for some reason that he remain calm and collected despite his need to fling himself through the doorway and break down crying. He advanced in slow steps, and pricked up his ears at the sign which proclaimed ‘Ponyville Golden Oak Library’ with a smaller more recent line inscribed in glowing glitter that read ‘Home of The Great And Powerful Trixie.’
Just for a moment, he thought he heard a familiar voice singing a song that brought back painful memories of years long ago. Then it happened again, a pure filly voice raised in a foalish tune that he had sung with his lost daughter before she had been torn away from his life. His lips moved unconsciously while he stood and listened, unable to move a muscle from his spot while the beautiful voice stammered and stopped, then began again at the prompting of two little colt voices that he knew well.
♫ F, you’re a f-feather in my a-arms
G, you’re s-so g-good to me,
H, you’re so…
The voice faded out, and the little colts’ suggestions about the next word were blotted out by a loud sniff from Night Light, followed by a fully necessary and totally stallion-like nose blowing that had nothing to do with the watering in his eyes, which could only be from allergies.
“Daddy?”
He wanted nothing more than to burst into the library and wrap his daughter up in an embrace that was long overdue, but the sheer terror he could hear in her voice stopped him cold. He rested a hoof on the library door instead, swallowing what felt like a bale of scratchy hay in his throat before responding.
“Twilight?”
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Ok, so Friday worked out better to publish the second part. Enjoy.
I'm All Alone was inspired by Monty Python's Spamalot, a fantastic show if you ever get a chance to see it.
A You're Adorable - This version sung by John Lithgow is the best, in my humble opinion.
*Apply hugs directly to Monster.*
CLIFFHANGER!!!
What song is that, by the way?
yes. it's happening.
love this story and feel sorry for twilight. her reaction does drive home the fact that she is a young child and doesn't have the emotional maturity to understand that llove is not diminished by being spread.
I look forward to the interactions between her and all three of her parents (and one changeling) as well as the whole "she changed species and into technicolor" deal.
Good
Ewwww, stinky diapers... lol. Looks like twilight's getting to know her little bros whether she wants to or not.
Oh no, you're not.
They're here, you tot!
Poor girl. So little faith in herself. So little understanding in the nature of friendship, and of love. She clearly needs of much of both as she can handle. I just hope that Night Light will help begin the healing process. Given Twilight's fragile condition, it's hard to say whether or not that will take place.
I look forward to finding out.
Twilight needs a hug from her dad... like right now
I can totally see him holding her and singing a lullaby from when she was just born. I can also totally see the twin colts causing so much trouble people dub them worse than the CMC.
4819507
I thought so. Definitely a great show.
4819614
Yeah. I don't think the problem is emotional maturity here, at least not completely. "Twilight Sparkle" is a poor, traumatized pony with a few too many memories. Whatever horrors Luna committed, she did so willingly, whereas Twilight Sparkle's actions were largely out of her conscious control.
4820957
True. I kinda forget Twilight's little Changeling beat down due to the circumstances. I do think that with more maturity Twilight would be able to self-rationalize her actions and perhaps feel slightly better.
I am not sure what Luna's speech was intended to do as i am not sure what Twilight is, adult or child. She feels like an amalgam of the two which makes it difficult for certain Ponies to interact with her. Right now i think that what she needs is a good old hug and cry session.
And some art of her with an undyed coat.
NOOOo
why you do these CLIFFHANGERS, WHY
4821243 I'll tell you next week.
4821028 I'd love to get some fan art of Sparkle sparkling, but I sure can't do it myself. All thumbs.
4820647 I took my 21 year old son out to see it. Best investment in quality child rearing I've done for him.
4820206 ...and I can see a cascade memory avalanche that drives Monster into a panicked flight away as a result. Easy does it.
4820167 Best part of Spamalot where I almost fell on the floor laughing was when he was singing the 'Alone' song and the *whole* cast of knights comes out for one chorus.
4820080 Night Light's next line: "Well, Twilight. Sounds you you and the colts are getting along pretty well. We'll be back to pick them up in a week or two. Come on, dear. We're going on vacation."
4819614 Twilight Velvet: "What nice.... wings, dear. I don't seem to remember seeing those in the delivery room."
4819582 I'm All Alone from Spamalot was the base, but I muddled the words something fierce.
4821409 Oh, cool. Thanks.
4821409 True, but daddies and mommies also have the ability to drive away fears with singing.
Ahhh, so siblings. Seems like an obvious possibility in hindsight.
And oh god my heart at that in-progress reunion at the end.
4820206 ..Oh god...
The CMC meeting the Sparkle twins......
....EVERYONE. PREPARE YOUR HUGS.
NOW...TO TWILIGHT!
HUG HEEEEER!
4821759 Discord levels of chaos!!!!
4821915 Discord would have to resign from his throne...
4821409
the parent's (biological) don't know anything about the changeling mass destruction, magical pocket universe or foal reversion right?
on the fan art from I also have four left feet (makes it bloody hard to type I tell you) so I hope someone reading the comments sees allow of my pleas and indulges us. yes I am talking to you aspiring artisit with loads of free time who is currently reading this.
4821409
Poor Patsy.
No words can describe what I'm feeling. Just know that I dried so hard during this chapter
Oh my god!!! The moment I've been waiting for this whole fic!!!
(Not that I didn't enjoy this story as a whole, but still.)
4821961 Nah, just take all of them as Apprentinces. I can totally see him being delighted that the bearers of the Elements cause so much chaos and deciding to befriend them. Just imagine if for the next show and tell day the CMC bring Discord in. You can totally see him being the 'adults supervision' most ponies would ask the CMC about and making sure none of the foals get hurt but still have fun. Chaos and Harmony as best friends....
You with your intentional cliffhangers, makes us all hate you but love you even more
Really REALLY can't wait for the next chapter now, the feels will be intense
So I'm confused.... who are Dusk and Dawn? Twilight's siblings, nephews?
I remember Cadence was supposed to be pregnant during the events of Monster, so I suppose she could have had them, but they seem a bit to old, though still VERY young.
Yea... not sure where Zecora is, but she's not doing Twilight any favors by being hands-off during this. Though at this point... the author needs to just do it and rip the band-aid off and have Twilight meet her biological parents face to face again.
There is a great deal of pees and poops in this story.
Oh, hello, Sparkles. Fun family picnic. Ponyville, such a little charming town, so many attractions, zebras, changelings, little cute foals. If you find a little time in your busy schedule you might even see the infamous town attraction, the little freak alicorn, maybe even manage to take some photos of her in her natural habitat. That is unless you scared her off with your antics. But don't worry if you did. Sugarcube Corner is an excellent place visited by all tourist trips like yours, to find some delicious meal, and it will surely repay for all your discomforts and missing the entertainment.
Please make sure your children don't poke the little freak alicorn. She tends to explode when poked.
4819614
Tell that to any older brother who ceased to be interesting to the parents once the younger one took his place; the new&shiny kid getting all the toys, all the extra time, and the older is dragged along and guilted into gratitude as parents buy him an extra ticket to a show rated for age of the younger one. All too common a scenario.
And the behavior of the four on the train appears quite a bit as if they were dropping in to satisfy their curiosity, how's their forgotten daughter doing (and if there's anything to gain from the remaking the bonds, or would she become a burden and so better to stay apart). They pay far more attention to their new children than to that forgotten one. I mean: All four seek that little pair on the train? None bothers to step out and see if Twilight might be nervous or something? Oh well, family first, weirdo strangers later.
So is Simpler Times canon to this fic? Or was it just linked for the lolz?
4857808 They stayed on the train because Luna hadn't given them the signal yet.
No little kid likes being replaced.
That just broke my heart
Well Trixie did turn up.
4819507
So you got help from Baron Chrysanthemum's butler. Good for you.