42. Lessons in Flight - Part Seven
Letters From a Little Princess Monster
Lessons in Flight - Part Seven
Fire
Some unicorns who study magic claim that there is only one fire, and that all of the fires in Equestria are only reflections of this one true flame. Of course, most of this studying tends to be in places where controlled fire is consuming a certain leaf of a certain bush, so the deep insight into the cosmic realism of combustion tends to be distracted by a lot of aimless staring into space and contemplation of a fresh plate of oatmeal cookies.
What they don’t realize is just how right they are.
Fire is the only active element. It requires both food and air to produce energy, much like ponies or other living things. Without either, it dies. Provide both with a spark, and it lives again. It seems like such a simple process, but it takes a particular type of mind to wonder where the fire goes between those two points in time.
On a mountain in far-off Zebrica, in a sheltered niche on the southern side of a slope, a small fire tended by the Imetabiriwa has constantly burned since the formation of their nation. The six tribes of Zebra bring wood in a shared responsibility that is as close to harmony as the conflict-plagued land knows, so that no matter the season or time of day, there is always another stick or twig to feed the flame’s insatiable appetite. The Imetabiriwa who tend the fire tend to wax poetic about the insights they get while staring into the flames late at night, and how the fire touches every fire across the entire world. They say that if it is watched without stopping, a worthy soul may see wisdom without measure, particularly if others would quit throwing certain herbs into the fire and eating all of the grass sandwiches that were being saved for later.
On this evening, two younger Imetabiriwa mares stared into the flame with burning curiosity, turning their heads from side to side and squinting into the flickering light as two sticks with untoasted marshmallows sat unused by their sides. Finally, the first one ventured, “Are they… dancing?”
The second one shook her head. “It is no dance I have seen before. We must consult those wise in ways of lore.”
* * *
Princess Trixie Lulamoon entwined her wings around the stallion of her dreams, his warm lips pressed against hers in a passionate kiss of impressive duration. She ran a hoof through his mane, feeling his smooth horn bump against hers as she took a quiet breath and moaned, “Oh, Trenderhoof.”
“Yes, you are,” he breathed back in a quiet whisper against her lips that brought gooseflesh crawling up her flanks and the slow rising of her tail. There was something wrong about that voice, something softer and more feminine than Trixie expected, and the sudden hammering of her heart caused Trixie to awaken with a jolt.
The sensation of soft wings wrapped around the other body on the soft loaner couch in the library lobby with her was only a dream illusion, but the feeling of warm lips against hers was quite real. As well as the feeling of a horn being wrapped around by her hoof, and a certain panicked glint to Rarity’s eyes in the relative darkness of the library lobby as she woke up too.
“Trixie?” whispered Rarity with her eyes darting around the darkened room in search for witnesses that would need to be eliminated.
“Rarity?” whispered Trixie in response while breathing a sigh of relief. “Thank the stars. I thought you were Rainbow Dash.”
Rarity’s pupils shrank to pinpoints, but before she could speak, the sound of Scootaloo’s voice echoed around the room.
“Hey! Sweetie Belle, gimmie back the popcorn.”
“Ah thought you was supposed to be watching the film, Scoots, not hogging the popcorn.”
“It’s at a boring part. I don’t even know why there’s a minotaur in a movie about flying. Spike, can you make it run faster until it gets to the flying section? Or at least turn on the sound so we can hear what’s going on.”
“I don’t know,” said Spike. “I’m not really familiar with this projector. If I try to run it forward, I might jam it or make it stick somewhere, and that could burn through the film. The bulb is awfully hot.”
“Girlth, can you thtay quiet? We don’t want to wake up Trixthie or Rarity.”
“What are they doing? What are you doing?” hissed Rarity in a quiet whisper just inches from Trixie’s lips, but not changing positions on the couch. After all, the back of the couch was between their embarrassing scene and all the little witnesses, but it was not totally dark in the library lobby, as the illumination of a film being projected on the far wall threw sharp shadows around the books as if a wildly dancing fire were being blown by a stiff wind.
“Scootaloo is trying to learn how to fly,” whispered Trixie back. “They’re supposed to be getting some instructional films to watch, that’s all.” Trixie’s horn lit up very dimly and a stack of film boxes from a nearby table swept unnoticed across the room and to the protective shelter of the couch. “See?”
Turning the boxes over in her magic, Rarity tried to read the titles. “They seem a little sticky, but I suppose if they’re educatio—” She paused and took a series of short breaths before rotating the boxes so that Trixie could read the titles too.
“Dovey Does Cloudsdale? Fly United? Joining The Mile-High…” Trixie trailed off and cast a vicious glance in the direction of the impromptu film screen with a glare that by all means should have burned a hole through the back of her new couch. “I need feathers for a new pillow, and I know just the colt to donate them.”
“Now, calm down,” reassured Rarity. “He’s just a young and foolish colt.” Her jaw dropped as she examined one of the cans of film, turning it slightly in order to illuminate the picture on the front in the flickering light from the projected film. “Besides, he’s mine first,” she whispered as her lips drew back in a very unladylike snarl.
Trixie snuck a look at the film canister in question, turning it a few times before the picture made sense. “We’ll split him down the middle,” she whispered in return, “but first, we need to get Twilight and her little band of prospective perverts away from their movie without—”
“Hey, that looks like Miss Cheerilee,” announced Sweetie Belle, bringing an abrupt end to Trixie’s plans, as well as any coherent thought.
“Oh, no,” whispered Rarity. “My poor Sweetie Belle. She’ll be scarred for life. I can’t look.” Rarity’s blue magical aura wrapped around Trixie and shoved her above the level of the couch’s back so she could get a good look at the ongoing movie regardless of her wishes. Trixie watched for a brief moment as her eyes adjusted to the dark room with the bright movie projection until Rarity pulled her back down with a tug of her magic and an impatient, “So? How bad is it? Are they… poorly dressed?”
“Err… No, they’re wearing a fairly nice dress and a tuxedo,” snarked Trixie once she had gotten securely behind the cover of the couch with Rarity. “Looks like Miss Cheerilee and Beef Swellington.”
“Who?”
“Cheerilee,” said Trixie. “She’s the school teacher.”
Rarity’s glare could have burned through steel, although it was the faint glow around her horn that worried Trixie.
“All right, all right. Swelly’s a minotaur porn actor. Darned good one, too. Not that I’ve watched any of his films,” added Trixie somewhat in haste.
“How horrible,” whispered Rarity.
“He’s worth a few million bits, and has this huge oceanfront mansion around Cape Clod. Trixie performed there once. Not in that way,” hissed Trixie.
Any further discussions about the morality of money were cut off by Sweetie Belle’s voice drifting over the couch. “Are they… dancing?”
“Nooo!” shouted Rarity with a lunge over the couch’s back, or at least partially over the couch’s back to land face-first on the collection of pillows the small ponies had pulled together into their movie-watching nest. Trixie was somehow dragged along for most of the trajectory, but paused to lean over the back of the couch and watch the unfolding scene.
Spike stood stunned at the controls of the clattering projector, casting a look at Trixie that bespoke of many ruffled Waifus⁽*⁾, while each of the little ponies had a startled Caught-In-The-Act look that quickly transitioned into impressive big-eyed expressions of pure innocence.
Except for Twilight Sparkle. Three sheets of smudged paper and two quills hovered around the frightened little alicorn, with the beginnings of a long black streak of ink tracking down her mane from the inkwell that had landed on top of her head, upside-down of course.
It could go either way: rage-drive destruction or fear-driven retreat.
Trixie decided on a third option.
She laughed.
In particular, she laughed at the mismatched couple displayed on the makeshift movie screen, with the minotaur and the earth pony dancing across the stage, sweeping into a series of dips and swoops as the rose clutched in their teeth exchanged bearers throughout the dance. She laughed at the sheer release of tension, at the bafflement of the little dragon, at the sight of the prim and proper Rarity nose-down and tail-up in a pile of cushions, and most of all, she laughed because Featherweight had his camera out to immortalize the entire scene in pictures, and she could hardly wait to show them to Princess Celestia. And Pinkie Pie. And all the rest of her fr—
The laughter did not so much die as fade away through guffaws down to chuckles, then snickers, and finally into a generalized grin she suspected would follow Trixie around all day and ambush her at unsuspecting times. The importance of adult supervision was emphasized, of which five names sprang almost effortlessly into Trixie’s lecture, ponies who just a few short months ago Trixie had suspected would not have spit on her grave just because it would have been considered a waste of perfectly good saliva. When Cheerilee showed up, panicked and out of breath from concern about her missing school projector (and loaded film), Trixie reassured her that Rarity was returning all of the improperly borrowed films, and that Spike was a fully-competent projectionist who would be very careful with the expensive piece of technology for the duration of their extracurricular educational experiment.
The film Two To Tango was passed off as an older training film for Beef’s Dance Academy, which Cheerilee’s previously unmentioned twin sister had appeared in alongside a totally anonymous minotaur and wouldn’t all of you kids like to see something much more fun when Rarity gets back from Film Noir with a few more appropriate movies for children your age? It was half-horseapples and half-truth, a dance through the facts the same way Trixie had spent most of her friendless youth. While Cheerilee snuck away with her accidently-loaned movie and the little ponies all settled down on the newly-vacated couch to test its bounciness, Trixie spent a few minutes with Spike.
They were bonding moments. One might even call them Older Sister to Younger Brother moments. Some slightly threatening promises were exchanged, bribes were discussed, and some small amount of blackmail materials were exchanged, but in the end, they each promised not to mention specific portions of the morning events to anydragon or anypony. Particularly alicorns. It took some time, drawn out a little as the little ponies bouncing on the couch began to yawn, then to settle down on the fluffy surface, and finally to cuddle together in a rather large group hug.
And by the time Rarity had exchanged the movies and returned, she found a library filled with snoring ponies and one extremely apologetic dragon who volunteered to treat her to breakfast.
Trixie did not object, having passed out face-down and tail-up into the pile of cushions⁽¹⁾ in the library lobby just a few minutes previously.
(*) Spike had recently acquired a pen-pal from Neighpon, and had started trading Equestrian comic books for manga. It had added to his vocabulary, although it was a little unsettling for Trixie, particularly since the panels were in the wrong order to read correctly. Which she didn’t. Read them, of course. She had much more important things to read during the day. Like books on magic. Really.
(1) Rarity took a photograph, of course, and had Spike send it to Princess Celestia as proof of how well her student was fitting in with the small town.
* * *
Gathered around a fire in distant Zebrica, six very solemn Imetabiriwa regarded the flickering flames with rapt attention. The images had faded and vanished a short time ago with the letters ‘Sign Up Now For Tango Lessons at Beef’s House of Dance’ seeming to remain in an afterimage on each of the zebra’s vision. It was a tense moment because whoever was to speak first would most probably be criticized by the rest, as their discussions normally tended to go, but after due consideration, an elderly zebra mare quietly stuck a marshmallow on a stick and held it over the flames.
“Bunh oh modern foalifneff,” she muttered through toothless gums. “Yancin’ like foalf wiff a flower in de teeff. Yits de end, eyes tellin’ yuf.”
A second greying mare shook her head slowly. “It is a sign from the spirits and their yearning, for other’s assistance with her learning. We should have patience for the return of this Flower, so our best wisdom may guide her great power.”
“When?” grumbled another. “The Council has been gone for far too long with no word in return other than these cursed postcards!” The zebra waved a colorful card labeled ‘Visit Historic Rock City, Birthplace of Pinkie Pie’ and tossed it into the fire with a flick of her wrist. “Having a wonderful time. Making great progress. Saw a cloud today. Rubbish! The spirits of this land need the Imetabiriwa na Anga now! The Ibex grow restive under our protection, the Warthogs no longer fear our warriors, and even the burro merchants are beginning to flee our cities as they believe them unsafe.”
“Trinkets,” rasped one of the mares with a derisive flick of her stringy tail. “Vumbi, you fret over your precious properties while our spirits need us. It is seen in the stars that the Imetabiriwa na Anga shall come, and she shall, in the fullness of time. You know I disagreed with sending the Council to bring her home. As much as she is needed here, the spirits say she is only a child, and children need time to shoulder the responsibilities of the sky.”
“Child?” Vumbi fumbled in the bag slung across her back and flung a newspaper onto the dusty ground. Illuminated by the flickering fire was the title ‘Foal Free Press’ with a blaring headline “Nightmare Moon Defeated! Princess Luna Freed!” over large pictures of the two alicorns in question, side-by-side.
“The Council is being run around in circles while the Imetabiriwa na Anga wastes her days with the beasts of Eagle Father and Cat Mother. I have it on the best authority that Twilight Sparkle is an adult, currently in an Equestrian griffon aerie, exchanging correspondence with Princess Celestia through a clueless cut-out named Trixie. Note the picture, Njia,” added Vumbi, tapping on a rather blurred photograph of an additional adult alicorn with a large question mark over it. “Trained in the Everfree Forest by a Zebrican shaman indeed! One year from each tribe is what was agreed! Twelve years has she been coddled and taught, and now it is time for her here to be brought!”
The second zebra mare lifted her head and fixed Vumbi with a steely gaze. “Mock not the speech of our tribal past, for it is our burden, from the first to the last. If with Zecora she has been for these years, all is as planned, despite foolish fears. In the time foretold, she will take her place, despite arguments old, or some stupid race.”
“No!” snapped Vumbi. “We have reached the end of our patience. If for whatever reason she will not come to Zebrica on her own, we shall do the ritual of summoning and bring her here. What say the rest of you?”
For a time, Vumbi’s hoof was the only one thrust out into the light of the flickering fire at the center of their discussion. Then several others put forth their hooves, one at a time, until the next to last zebra shoved her hoof forward, scooping up the newspaper and tossing it onto the flames.
“Time is wasted there
Foolish games plague their spirits
Summon the mare now.”
Njia looked around the circle of zebras, all of whom avoided her glance in return. Finally she stuck her hoof forward into the firelight with a soft sigh. “Even this action has been seen in the sky. I object to your methods, but the rite, I will try. Just know that when all has been said and done, the child will not stay under our warm friendly sun. To her home she will go, with the aid of her friend, to consider our words, and decide on her end.”
Long into the night, the six mares consulted with the spirits by the light of the flickering flames, ignoring a few small red sparks swept up by the flare of the added newspaper and floating high in the sky. The cold flakes of ash drifted, blown by the breeze across the grassy plains, where other zebra spent the night huddled close to each other and speaking very quietly, as if they were afraid of being overheard by older and less humorous ears.
The two zebra stallions and two zebra mares conspiring under the concealment of a accadia tree considered the lines drawn into the dirt, shifting their hooves and walking through the strange process until one of the stallions sat down and shook his head.
“I don’t get it. I hold the flower in my teeth, and then I pass it off to your teeth, and then I pick it back up again. It seems too easy.” He reached out with his teeth to take the flower out of his partner’s mouth, only to have the young mare lean back and grin in response.
“Let’s just try a few steps and see how it works. First, you have to catch me.”
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Beef Swellington is borrowed from somebody, and I wish I knew who so I can give them credit. If you're reading this, and remember the long conversation we had about the scene with Cheerilee and the misappropriated movie, tell me and I'll add credit. The bad part is I have the whole conversation written down in a document, but my poor brain can't remember who I was talking to. And stop laughing. Someday, you young kids will reach this advanced age where you can't remember anything either. (although admittedly I was like this since my early childhood, so it's no great change)
Edit: Beef Swellington is from Anonymoose's wonderful (and Mature rated story which is why my search didn't find it, duh) Welcome to Ponyville, where Beef shows up in town looking for the love of his life (or at least two feature films and a short). Thanks Shader for catching this for me and thanks to Anonymoose for a fantastic OC.
Cheerilee's TWIN sister? Sure why not
Poor Featherweight, he has so little chance
6106459
I actually remember that character from a story ages ago. Did a little hunting and managed to find where I'd seen him before, Welcome to Pornyville by Anonymoose.
I hope that helps.
Oh god, if they summon her she's going to kill them all.
Ha! That end with the zebras trying the dance!
That was great! This whole chapter was great!!
Author is too old, we need to buy a new one
Yeah, go ahead and try to pry Twilight away from her friends and family. Lemme know how that works out for you.
6106507 Hasty explanations made on the spot tend to be the best to laugh at when you actually have time to think about them
What amuses me is that according to the comics, Cheerille really does have a previously unmentioned twin sister. One who's a professional wrestler.
In any case, it's nice to see Trixie bonding with the citizens of Ponyville, and it's very nice to see that the foals managed to find something relatively age-appropriate. Imagine the notes otherwise, to say nothing of how the zebra council might interpret the flames...
Still, even if summoning Twilight works, the zebras are definitely going to regret it. I'm not entirely sure how they'll regret it, but regret they shall.
at what point was it decided that twilight was going to zebrica? I have forgotten some of the earlier story over time, but dear god does none of what is going on in zebrica make any sense whatsoever...
I can not tell for the life of me what logic would bring them to think that the pony alicorn born in equestria has any reason to be forcibly tought in zebrica by zebras that she has never met or been informed of.
can someone please clear this up for me?
6106528
Twilight herself? Hm ... probably not, though there is no accounting for accidental fires and unexpected explosions and their side effects.
Luna on the other hand, when she descends upon those who have kidnapped her self-proclaimed little sister, might just shoot first and ask questions never - unless she prefers getting creative instead.
6106715 She is going to be yoinked magically from her home by a group of idiot religious fanatics who aren't going to be summoning what they expect. There is going to be discomfort, strangers, no friends and a lot of shouting, mostly at her. They would probably begin to get at least a bit physical, if only just trying to examine her.
There is not going to be enough of them left to be buried in an Altoids tin.
Since Twi did not went to help the zebras in the show, I guess something else went wrong.
6106610
I'll get the mop.
6106507 I do believe it's canon. In one of the comics she has a twin sister who is a wrestler.
We got us some zebra shamanesses who desperately need their backsides whipped to teach them their proper place.
Ha! Those zebras are in for a surprise when Twilight appears, and then in for another one when they have at least one angry alicorn racing after her. I don't think Twi's gonna take the scary zebras very good either, and i think the world might take Twi's side as usual.
Trixie! Shame on you! Cheating on Greengrass with your mind already!
6106724
There certainly is potential here for Twilight to fly off her handle depending on how the situation plays out, it's just that I think she will be trying really, really hard to keep control - desperately so. After all, the last time she lost her cool she almost ended up exterminating an entire species and, when she came to, was faced with a genocide almost caused by her own hoof and horn.
And that still haunts her to this day, very much so - even when all the surviving changelings go out of their way to reassure her otherwise, she can barely stand to be around her "dad" because of the memories it causes.
While I admit the situation does have potential to end up badly, I fully expect Twilight to do her damnedest to hold back her instinct to go 'kersplody as her first reaction - and I expect her to succeed more than not. Potentially lash out and knock the fools on their asses? Sure. Murderize them to pieces? I'm afraid I'm not seeing it.
Which is just as well - Twilight hardly needs that on her consciousness as well, those zebras aren't worth the emotional distress such a result would cause Twilight later. Luna can have them, and everyone who matters walks away happier.
IT LIVES IT DIES IT LIVES AGAIN
WITNESS IT
6107450
Twilight is unlikely to go kersplodey. She doesn't really do that in 'Letters'. She's more likely to scare the stuffing out of them despite trying so hard in her not-quite-right way to not be scary. I look forward to whatever emotional trauma she accidentally inflicts upon these impatient zebra.
You know what happens when a tiny group of people decide they know what's best for the world and act on it? Never anything good. These "wise" shamans are truly fools if they believe they can play with the fires of fate and not get burned.
They are defying fate/ the stars as well so there is no guarantee their summoning will work. Who knows what they will get if anything
6106528 Your avatar fits that statement Perfectly!
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6106516 Yes, it does! I updated my note with the info. My original search couldn't find it because my Mature flag is turned off (duh!) Thanks!
6108193 Oh, I think they're going to get it.
6108021 I think you just defined all politicians everywhere.
6108013 Accidentally?
6107450 Then again, what *did* happen to those changelings in Zebrica a thousand years ago?
6107371 I have no intention of sleep-shipping Trixie with every member of the Mane Cast. Unless it's funny.
6107232 One would think if the Zebra take Twilight away, that two very important alicorns might just react in a slightly negative manner.
6107079 They just need a change of... perspective. Much like Diamond Tiara.
6106819 Yes, she does. Trixie has no idea, though. She's just pulling things out of her tail. It's going to surprise her to no end when she finds out.
6106817 Naaa, she's a self-cleaning alicorn. You might notice a fine mist, though.
6106756 You made me go back and check my source in Monster, Chapter 3. You're entirely right that the *original* purpose of Zecora was simply to be in Equestria to fulfill the prophecy, which would stop Nightmare Moon when she returned, which of course went all to heck when Twilight blew a fuse at her entrance exam. Remember this?
Come, Zecora, if She will survive
By morning’s light, you must arrive
Twilight is obviously important, as she's already She. :) It was later when Zecora talks about taking 'Flower' back to Zebrica, but mostly implied, not directly stated. I may have to go back and tweak some slight retcons in here.
6106724 Much like Trixie pulling Angel Bunny out of a hat. It won't end well.
6106715 Luna's probably the last one to worry about losing her cool. She remembers far too well what unleashing her negative emotions can do. Celestia, however, could leave a glass-lined crater.
6106705 She is the Wise One of the Sky. Zebrica has always been where the spirits want the Wise One of the Sky.
6106528 This is why in GURPS that Control Elemental is a prerequisite for Summon Elemental.
6110063
Psst, it's spelled 'Pornyville'
6106610 WELL... I BELIEVE it will go something like this...
Initial reaction:
img1.derpicdn.net/img/2013/7/20/379205/medium.jpgp
Planning stage in Ponyville:
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4011-avjV4.gif
Delivery of said plan to Zebras:
i182.photobucket.com/albums/x60/iloveshoogle/chocobo.gif
Zebra answer/reaction:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxza59YeGH1rnaw0po1_400.gif
(Lost some of my better images, so I apologize that they are not 100% accurate.)
So... just what kind of herbs have the Zebra been tossing on the fire to get this crazy notion in their heads??? Because that stuff is powerful. Do they really think Celestia and Luna will not react to this foalnapping???? And that's not even taking into account Cadence going into Knight Templar Big Sister mode with her new army of Changelings and Shining Armor. And then there's Twilight's mother and father, Trixie and the rest of the 'Elements of Harmony', and finally... the Cutie Mark Crusaders who will unleash adorable hell on the Zebra elders. I can totally see the common Zebra going, "We didn't do it!" and Twilight defending them so the Elders get all the punishment.
Panicked dramatic Rarity as seen in this chapter is always so much fun.
Well of course, such events do need to be documented.
Oh my god these zebra elders. They are about to screw up so badly.
I think the summoning of twilight will fail. thy will only get Monster and i don't think that the other 3 alicorns are there fast enoch to save the zebra shamans. If not from Monster then from Zecora.
an acacia tree