• Published 5th Mar 2012
  • 2,205 Views, 20 Comments

Not my Cup of Tea - Satch



Twilight find herself in a meeting with Celestia. It however does not turn out as expected.

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Chapter 1

Not My Cup of Tea

By Satch

Twilight was standing before Celestia in one of the smaller meeting rooms. She was tapping the floor with her hoof nervously, she had gotten in trouble before but this time it was different... Celestia had sounded really upset, maybe even angry... she glanced at the royal guards who were staring off into the distance, not moving an inch. Celestia was just sitting there on her throne, sipping on her tea.

After a few minutes had passed, with nothing more then occasional sips from Celestia on her tea, Twilight couldn’t stand the silent treatment anymore. “Look... Princess.. I’m sorry for what have happened.. I should have been able to handle the situation in a better way. I swear something like that will never happen again.” Twilight tried to put on her best smile, but all that came out was an awkward and insecure grin. Celestia smiled warmly back at Twilight, putting her tea down beside her. “My dear faithful student, it makes me glad to hear that you regret what happened, and rest assured that something like this will never happen again. I will make sure of that.” Celestia said in a calm, soft voice.

Twilight let out a sigh of relief, feeling much more at ease after hearing Celestia finally speak “Oh thank you princess, I will ma-“
“Kill her” Celestia uttered in the same toned voice as before. Twilight tensed up and recoiled at hearing that... did.. did Celestia just? Twilight was about to open her mouth and say something, but was flabbergasted.

Seconds later the guards began advancing towards her. ‘No, no nononono! This was not happening!’ Twilight started hyperventilating. This couldn’t be happening, this had to be a dream, this couldn’t be real! She started backing away slowly, on trembling legs. Which soon turned into pure panic, Twilight sprinting towards the door. The guards did not increase their speed but kept their slow march towards her.

Moments before she could reach the doors, they started glowing and shut tight causing her to almost slam into them with full force. She luckily had time to react and managed to turn it into a moderate bump instead. “And where do you think you’re going miss Sparkle?” Celestia said to her. Twilight was really panicking now, this was way to real. “Y-you can’t do this!” Twilight yelped, her voice filled with fear and despair.
“Can’t I? Have you forgot who I am, my most faithful student? You said you took full responsibility for what happened” Celestia replied in a warm, gentle tone.

“B-but I.. I you.. t-the.. I.. NO! T-this is not fair! IT WASN’T MY FAULT!” Twilight’s lips quivered as she yelled back at Celestia, tears starting to well up in her eyes.She knew what Celestia had said to be true but.. No... No... she couldn’t stay here, this was not happening!

Twilight began to feel her magic well up in her, she had to get out of there. NOW. Her horn began to glow, she started to focus and she felt her powers surge through her, building up to the point where it- disappeared? Her guts felt like there were tying up inside her. She was really starting to feel hopeless at that point.

When Twilight opened her eyes, see saw she was still standing close to the corner she had ran to before. The guards closing in, she shot a glance towards Celestia. The alicorn sat there, horn glowing. Giving her a playful wink, mocking her. Twilight was breathing very fast now.
‘Was this how I, Twilight Sparkle were going to end? What would happen to me? How will my friends take this?.. or even find out? What would happen with Spike? Where wou-’ Twilight was cut short in her train of thoughts as one of the guards unsheathed his weapon.

Twilight watched in terror as one of the guards drew his blade, she collapsed on the ground crawling towards the wall, desperately trying to reach out to her magic, but something.. or rather someone.. was blocking it. Twilight was now to frightened to even think straight, she felt her instincts take over as she lost control of her bladder. But that was the least of her concerns right now. She didn’t want to die! She had so much to live for, and it was not to long ago she finally had got friends she could enjoy it with. Also, especially not before.. not before she had...

The guard readied his sword, swinging it high over his head. Twilight shrieked out in desperation and fear, flailing her hooves in front of her, pressed up against the wall “NO PLEASE! I can’t die I have so much to live for! I never got to finish that book on advanced, advanced chemistry! I’ve never been to Fillydelpia! I’ve never been on a boat trip! I’ve never tried alcohol! I’ve never danced! I haven’t even been to a club! I never got to tell Spike how much he actually means to me! No! I can’t die before I’ve ever even kissed anypony! I DON’T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!” Twilight then collapsed devastated onto the floor crying.

Twilight was sobbing and shivering, huddled up in a ball on the wet floor... why was nothing happening? Where was the blow that was to end her life? Where was the pain? Whe-
‘..Why do I hear laughter?’ Twilight was yanked back to reality. She slowly peeked out from between her hooves, sobbing and sniffling furiously.

Once she managed to get enough tears out of her eyes to see what was going on. Twilight could spot Princess Luna smugly laughing at Celestia who was sitting with a frown on her face. She glanced towards her assailants who looked down upon her with a mixed expression of pity and concern. They both appeared to be greatly disturbed of what just had happened. Once Twilight had realized she wouldn’t die today, she tried to get up on her trembling legs. One of the guards reached his hoof out, offering her help to get up. She pushed it away, sulking and with a sniffle.

She stumbled past the guards, toward the two alicorns. Adrenaline coursing through her veins, listening intensely to what they were talking.. and especially LAUGHING about... she was still terrified at the moment. But she could also feel hatred welling up. Despite the lump in her throat, she had to know what had just happened and why .

“-ost a bit too cruel. But see? I told you she’s still a maiden filly”
“Yes, yes, you were right Luna.. You won the bet, but I was just so certain that my little Twilight would have finally gotten her hoof ou- Oh, speaking of my most faithful student. I hope you didn-“
Twilight just stopped listening after that, she was struck completely flabbergasted once more, this time even worse than the one before.

She could not believe this... had Celestia just... with her... for a... Twilight didn’t want to hear anymore.. she just wanted to go home to Ponyville.. wash herself clean, force something down for lunch, stare at the wall for an hour, maybe let off some steam if she could muster the willpower, then cry herself to sleep. She just... couldn’t deal with what has just happened.

Twilight turned around and started walking towards the door, slamming it open with her magic as her eyes twitched. She ignored that the princesses were calling her name, she went up to a window, her eyes and horn began to glow, then she was gone in a flash, leaving the ground she had stood on slightly singed.

______________________________________

Authors note: Don’t ask me how or why I wrote this, I got the idea after reading a really interesting and intriguing fanfic someone wrote, and it ended with the scene of Celestia uttering the words “Kill her”, and somehow, this scenario sprung to my mind. And due to insomnia, this was created. Hopefully it won’t be to bad written to.. enjoy or whatever to call it heh.

Comments ( 20 )

:rainbowlaugh:
Thats so fucking wrong, yet its hilarious,
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!"

What the hay? o.0 That was... interesting and funny.

I enjoyed it, although I really want to see the aftermath now. Makes me want to write about how she sees her previously beloved mentor after all this.

It would warrant an extra sentence or two to explain it was Luna's illusion from "kill her" onward. Otherwise it only seems implied.

Trollestia and Trolluna strike again! :trollestia:

... WHY is there no Luna emote!? :raritydespair:

292584
WHY DO I FIND YOU ON EVERY STORY I READ!
and also, thunder wants me, to tell you, to tell D, that he said
"miss you, hope ill see you in the next chapter!"

293246
Umm?
If you talking about the story about her past, thats just about what happened to her, I'm not adding anything else so far.

293251
talking about stargazers story...which once again, i cant remember the name of

This was so hilarious, but so, so, so mean. I would kind of like to see the aftermath of this, though I doubt it will happen.

You should probably mention the name of the fic that inspired this in the description, i'm curious now.

292584 Actually, most of the story was based around that line alone xP It was one of the core "bad ideas" that sparked the whole thing hehe.

292702 Glad you seemed to enjoy it heh.

292734 If you'd want to, I'd let you write the follow up. Since I personally have no ideas of where this would go :twilightsheepish:

292828 Tbh, I am not entirely sure what you mean with that.
But indeed they did. And I don't know, thought they ought to have one by now, even Twist got one xP

Heartless, immature, and horribly written - grammar, spelling and even vocabulary mistakes throughout.

A person would have to have not the slightest splinter of empathy to find this story amusing. Seek help.

293389 I wouldn't mind doing one, I just got no ideas whatsoever sadly ^^'
And currently stuck with writing 2 other fics. And a flash project, which is severely on hold, sadly.

293548 Sadly I don't remember it's name. But I do believe it was the Pony Psychology series... I think.
It at least were a fic that went from each of the mane 6 to the other.

293605 I'm openly pointing out I'm not good at writing due to syndromes, plus, English ain't my first language.
In either case, It's not meant to be taken seriously. It's Trollestia after all. And heck, if you think this one is "bad/heartless", I am glad you haven't seen... allot of what's out there.

293659
No need to be condescending. I've no doubt seen more of the horrors of humanity than you have, dear heart. Which is why I know better than to think this horror of a story is amusing.

293962 I don't see how that would come off as condescending, but eh, if you think it did. But in either case, it's there for those that like that kind of thing. Granted, this rating system is not the best. But for those that doesn't like a certain flavor of ice cream, no need to order it.

Recognized that "kill her" line instantly. From the twilight chapter of the pony psychology series :D

It's a lot funnier when you'lve read that one :rainbowlaugh:

310488 Ah yeah, that was the name of it.
For some reason this was the first to pop into my mind after I read that phrase :P

Interesting short story, though it seems alot more like a single chapter to a larger story to me. Would have been interesting to see this continue, but only from a 'Well Twilight is definitely scarred and probably has no interest in being around the princesses ever again after that' kind of way.

3398002 I've heard that before actually. But it's just a one shot as a whole. It could have been interesting to delve deeper into it though. Quite many of my fics have that actually... On a side note, if I recall this correctly, this story either only works very early in the canon, or I had some anti-magic included to prevent teleportation :P

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