This story is about scooters, cutie marks, Scootaloos
Chapters (7)
- Member Since 18th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Feb 15th, 2014
Lemoncupquakes
I am here to write story's for other authors ;D I'm doing it free and it would be my pleasure. Though I do make stories that ONLY made for my account and my account alone. Just lettin everypony know :
Lemoncupquakes
Joined 18th Oct, 2013 ·
Offline
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The chapters....
They are so short....
I know how to fix it!
*Opens the story and writes Changelings and Muffins,
A few thousand times per chapter*
Perfection!
Good story, too short, too fast
3403983 Do you sleep?
3404081
Sleep?
Whats that.....,
and can i eat it?
3404119
LOL
Sorry, love, but these aren't stories, these are Twitter posts.
You're not giving your reader any sense of time or place; we don't know where they are half the time, or what anything looks like. At best, this is an outline for a story.
Slow down, and aim for two or three thousand words per chapter, with descriptive details -- not two hundred.
I'll work on it
plus I came to this website in the first pale to improve my writing so I could be better in my writing class 
3404145
You, i like.
*Turns his head to the nearest pony and points at you*
This kids got spunk.
Ahem.
JustImage initiates Review Mode:
This needs work. The details are lacking, the grammar is off in many places, the story was predictable, where in the world are they in some parts, Twilight parts are not needed, dialogue is very dull, the CMC won't just leave Scootaloo in the dust, Babs Seed the actor makes no sense without explanation and more depth, the pacing was way off, and their talents are over-used. Why didn't you do something a bit more original for their talents, than the obvious route?
This story needs alot of work.
3404156
Let me steer you towards a few examples of what you should be aspiring towards:
Well, then, the first step towards improving your writing, is to read others' stories to see how it's done.
A Taste of the Good Life, by Eakin
Adorkable Love, by Einhander
Letting Your Mane Down, by TheBandBrony
Light the Sky on Fire, by EquesTRON
On The Application Of Time And Motion Efficiency Studies To Initial Relationship Formation, by Estee
On Your Cutie Mark..., by Scantrel
Quizzical, by JMac
Triple Strength, by Cirrus Tail
>> JustImagine
Wow. Impressive
I'm a bit confused, but I'll work on it 