The idea of Twilight creating a gender-bent version of herself during the exam is interresting.

But you completely missed your chance at writing it. The pacing is awfully fast, you don't describe anything at all, the various characters are flat and bland and the lenght of each chapters traduce that, they're way too short to allow you to describe anything.

And you delete comments, wich is really bad.

3501508
I agree with you on this that it has a good potential but the pacing is to quick. Needs structure and depth to characters and there interactions. No need to make a whole book just sit down when you can and brain storm some ideas. Take your time please.

3501508>>3504517 ok to answer to both of your statements one I know its fast based in I'll try to fix it and describe more how ever when it comes to the comment deletion of others it is my right too do it if you don't like it complain to me in a massage about why I shouldn't do it, and if you guys want to try and make a better version of my story go a head I don't mind I thought it would be original idea if you believe you can do better go a head I don't mind hell I'll read your versions trust me I will if you do make another version of my story, and at least I'm trying right.

I have to say, I really, really liked the idea of this story but there's just too much that you're skipping. I mean, you're not putting any visuals into anything, not really adding anything; I mean, I can't even call this a story, they seem more like mental notes of what you wish would happen. I say notes because you're just listing! You're not going into depth on anything or using any of the tools that writers use. Your grammar is pretty bad in both your writing and the writer comments section, I think l33k speak might have better grammar.
I'm not telling you to stop writing, or even to take down this story. What I'm saying is, you need a bit of help when it comes to writing, mostly in the showing not telling part. Many of us bronies and pegisisters would love to teach you and show you but you have to want to.
Also, just a little note, under the guidelines the chapters are supposed to be at least 1000 words. Sorry if this comes out as mean but I just had to say it.

3585834
look I don't want a teacher I'm looking for a editor right now when I have a really good editor that doesn't lecture me on my grammar and just fixes it I'll go back and add detail to the chapters.

Ok for those of you that are wondering why I put this on hiatus its because I'm looking through it to find how I can add more to it after I do that ill reload all the chapters I have and work on the next one sense now I have some of my friends working on this with me.
Also to those I have insulted or up set I'm truly sorry I hope you can forgive me.

3461310 actually I like that idea thank you for it sorry it toke me so long to thank you for that idea.

3463098 have any one in mind to help me with the grammar please say yes if so send me a link to them so I can talk it over with them.

One is most intrigued to see were this may go.
Looking forward to any & all future updates, whenever they might occur!