• Member Since 5th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 24th, 2018

ZeppelinFan64


Musician, Bassist, Beatles fan

E

Big Macintosh has always been thought to be a rather fearless stallion, but what happens when his fear of clowns gets the best of him?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

"That's why Ah have these." Big Mac said as he pulled out a wagon of bear traps behind him. "Now excuse me AJ, Ah've got a fence to build." Big Mac said as he continued with the fence.

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Alright, I'm torn on this.

The story is very funny and entertaining, but a lot of it seems... missing. You pack a lot of things close together to the point that sometimes it's hard to keep track of what's going on, and it makes it a little difficult to read. My suggestion? Try to put a little more length to what you're writing - don't be afraid to give more detail. Try to avoid shortcuts - if you just write 'they went inside' you typically give the idea that they're just outside of something.

That aside, this was an entertaining story - loved Big Mac's out-of-the-blue rage. :rainbowlaugh:

"a clown is not a big spider" :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: "oh when the whipperwill whippers in the wind! the wind can whipper back "oh nice and chubby baby!""

3927312 It seems somebody caught my reference

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