Alex Rider begins hearing voices in his sleep. He hears them right after he falls into unconsciousness. After Jack watches him vanish before her eyes Alex decides to try and contact the voices to find out what is wrong with him. He gets more than he ever wanted. It's a fate worse than anything MI6 could deal him.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Whoa, an Alex Rider crossover?
I loved that series, don't get wrong. But I'm not sure where this could be headed. It sounds like another "famous character transported to Equestria" fiction, but I'm willing to try.
Seems kinda rushed. Sorry for my standards, but I can see you're trying very hard. I know it's easy to get excited and just DO the story and show it to the world, but you should take the time to read thoroughly before publishing a chapter. You can even wait a day after finishing a chapter, then read it over slowly a few times and scrutinize it as if you were an audience rather than an editor. Also, you should wait until your editor has reviewed it before publishing.
Hope this helps
2945616 To a point it was because I don't have internet at my house so I do this just to pass time. I could take it slow and write, but I've been busy with the cable lines, yard, and everything thing else at my house. But in all I say thank you for the feedback and I will take a second to go through the story arc next time.
M-m-m-m-m-m-muh-muh...
2973315 What is something wrong with the story?
i have the utmost urge to read this............ and now that i have, i have but one thing to say.
BRILLIANT!! but needs some tlc.
3129036 It was rushed and the later chapters will get better and I will begin to go back and toy with the first 2. But thank you for reading and I enjoy you saying it was brilliant. I wonder how nobody thought of this....
forgot several closing brackets
3129215 I just click the reply button I say screw the closing brackets.
Nice!
3184356 Thank you. I wish I could have time to work on it some more, but I'm knee deep in shit right now and all the time I get goes to my group.