• Member Since 30th Dec, 2014
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Omega6047


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After a long and costly battle for planet Udow-2, Commander Falcon of 144th Attack Battalion and his brothers are sent to another planet where they will fight against the Separatists for the Republic. However not everything goes as planned and a completely new adventure appears in front of him. But first he will have to survive long enough to experience it.

Meanwhile, a peaceful live of ponies in Equestria is dangered, they just don't know anything about it yet.

Edited by: PoniChan
Chapters edited: 5/21


((Featured: 17.05.2016)):yay:

Chapters (21)
Comments ( 258 )

I like where this is going.

Too bad he's not a stormtrooper...TRAITOR!

needs an editor. some pretty bad grammar peppered though out, it's an interesting story though just needs edited.

6877349 I know, I always sucked at grammar and stuff, no matter in which language.

Awesome can't wait for the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

good job only two chapters and i'm hooked. looking forward to the next one.

I only have read the Star Wars part so far, and I read the Luna part later. It was already pretty nice, but I admit I often just wait till it is reaching the point where they are in mlp. I bet if I would actually search for a Star Wars fanfiction, then I would focused on that parts as well, but I pretty much have read it all this time.

I´m honest with you, I like both Star Wars, and MLP, but since I´m reading it for MLP, I somethings find parts like this a bit difficult to read, however I can´t say I´m very patient that week, and not really well rested.

However I think I understood most of it, even if I was reading fast, and I think you maybe want to make the clone a Jedi?
I don´t now, Jedi can still get beaten, but so far I haven´t read a Jedi story on this side, that went the way I would like it to go.

....I think what I mean is, I still have to see a really good Jedi story, I like my characters special, but not OP. However they still should be able to do some good stuff, and don´t avoid all important MLP fight´s, just because the author maybe doesn´t know how to really involve him to the event.

I read more beforer I really give an up, or downvote, and it was good even if I´m not sure how much I liked it this time.

I have other things that I prefer, but I nearly get the Clone Wars feeling out of this, and if I maybe aren´t as tired as now, I maybe even like it more than right now.

I just feel I´m in a state, where I can´t really appreciate it right now, but I also wanted to say it is already not bad.

Okay, how did Pinkie get in here?

Didn't Luna say don't mess with the clones equipment? So why is Twilight studying one of their weapons?

6936651 i kinda hope that she looks in the barrel of the gun and presses the trigger to see what happens she nearly did or did that in some i was reading a while ago

6936651 Because it doesn't belong to clones and Twilight is smart enough to notice that it doesn't look like part of their equipment.

I mean nothing bad with it, but I thought I should tell you that I skipped most of this chapter. It more or less feels like useless information right now. Not sure if it is needed later, or should just support his personality or something.

Aaaahhhh sorry, I think I noticed that it was the pony doctor, that made these files.
However it is not something that I was really interessted in, I still think we probably don´t need it that detailed right now.

6937707 To be honest, without Luna I wouldn´t even be sure, that Twilight really would know that it maybe aren´t the clones stuff, or whatever your both talking about.
Without any knowledge I´m not sure she should be able to know for sure, that this was maybe from the enemy. (I just assume that you both where talking about stuff from the druids. I admit she maybe could notice that there was a fight I guess.)

mmmh, i dont know about this chapter

Well different way for things to have happened for sure, but Shining and Cadance still beat back the swarm, though the "halfling" interests me, clearly not a pony in disguise as it called Chrysalis a traitor. Though it does make sense a half pony would be more ready to consider Chrysalis the traitor, seeing changelings as needing to live symbiotically with ponies, they would not follow a leader who declared war on them.

I admit everytime I see it, I not really want to read it, but when I read it, I actually really enjoy it.
I think I´m just not in the mood for Star Wars at the moment, but you made a pretty nice chapter.
I know there are types of story where Chrysalis won´t survive a fight, but I just can´t help but hope for her since she is one of my two favourite Villains.

Amazing fight scene, though I would expect a bit more from Falcon since he is a Commander. Never the less, it was a great story so far,

ok, that was awesome, when will the next chapter be out?
:pinkiesmile:

Very gripping i can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

Hmmm, I love the tension

Interesting....... *Gets Popcorn ready*

something about it feels wrong, it started good but i dont know if i like the direction its running now.

ok...lets do this...

Nice chapter.

7012628 I kind of agree with you, but at the same time I think this was one of the better chapters.

“I… guess I have no choice but to accept… but I don’t even know what’s the currency here, and I doubt that republic’s currency has any real value here.” Falcon answered. Not that I have any credits on me in the first place…

I kind of expected him to want an armor.

Slowly, he begun to feel tears beginning to pour from his eyes.

I really liked this chapter, but somehow it is weird to see a clone doing anything else than being crazy, brave or well like a Soldier. With that I don´t want to say anything agaist it, I just have a hard time to image them to be that emotional.

I wasn´t sure what to think about this at first, but this keeps getting better.

the raven isnt a spirit animal but the crow is you need to edit that

7080715
Why can't a Raven be a spirit animal? We are talking about Equestrian Spirit Animals, they likely include MANY more than the particular spiritual belief system your thinking of. After all by context I take it mean Celestia's animal is Phoenix. There is no reason the Equestrians could not identify Ravens and Crows as spirit animals also with lots of other animals what every particular belief system your using doesn't consider options. Or maybe Ponies and Humans from the Star Wars universe just have more options than Terrans like us?

7080910 if your theory is true than this whould be explained in the chapter in some way

7080922
I had typed out this whole response about fictional religion vs real then i spoke with some friends who follow religions/spiritual beliefs that include spirit animals and spirit guides. The conclusion was simple "all animals can be spirit animals, even fictional ones", maybe you intrepid it different, but I believe CONTEXT makes it clear the Equestrians believe this (or at the LEAST Ravens can be spirit animals). So it's not an error because you disagree with a fictional religion.

a quick advice,start using words for numbers its look better to the eye.

Once again, The Clone Wars, and fictions, show us that clones do have feelings. Just cause their expendable soldiers doesn't mean they can't have any feelings or develop personality. They're not mindless and their still human.

Thank you good sir for showing that Falcon has vulnerabilities in the emotional department, it makes him more human

I'm not sure if I really need it right now, but with the amount of storys that I'm reading, I'm not sure if I really remember every injurie, or every character like abduin, maybe you can make a chapter with a few descriptions only sometimes in the future?

I really like it, but I have to many games, video, and storys that I more or less have to read at the moment.

Phoenix Wright reference?

The plot line has my attention, needless to say I am interested. My only comments are grammer and spelling.

6/10

Aside from the spelling errors, you fixed most of the grammar errors, I am greatly enjoying this story.

7/10

I would also like to say that you nailed Celestia, most of what happens is her fault because she is too much of a passificst. Luna is best Princess. Keep up the good work my friend!

Always glad to see another chapter!:heart:

Comment posted by Moon loving Changeling deleted Apr 30th, 2016
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