Stargate - SG-FUN: Another World

by Word Wizard

Chapter 5: Wait, what?

Any word from SG-1, Sargent?" Hammond asked, walking into the dialing office with an air of importance. He stopped next to a woman seated at a console overlooking the gate room. The dormant gate sat, it's chevrons inactive as the lights flickered above. Next to it, a couple of heavy chain guns sat, their safety catches preventing any misfires.

"No sir," the Sargent replied, punching on her keyboard rapidly. "Have had no attempts to communicate since the went through.

"Well, if they don't come back in five hours, send SG-5 through to see what happened," Hammond turned back to the star map, slowly pacing around the room.

"Yes sir," the Sargent replied.

Hammond looked at the star map, observing everywhere man had been, where man was going, and where man would never, ever touch foot in again. The closely spaced white dots represented planets and stars, mothers and children. Somewhere out there in the cosmos, something was happening, and it probably involved SG-1.

"If you need me I'll be in my office," Hammond stated, walking back to the door of his office. The soft quietness that descended on Stargate Command at times like these was slightly unnerving. Peaceful, but unnerving.

Hammond wondered what could be dangerous in 'the Disney Channel' as Jack put it. Indeed, it did look strikingly similar to a show his granddaughters loved... My Little Pony or something like that. But they couldn't be the same, unless it was a giant illusion.

Hammond turned back to his paperwork, shaking his head a little.

-----

"Alrighty then," Jack took a seat at a very low chair, and quickly stood up again. "What, are you all midgets?"

"They're horses, Jack," Daniel whispered, polietly attempting to sit on one of the infernal chairs himself.

"Never mind then," Jack decided standing would be the best way to go. Teal'c had already decided that standing was an optimal option and was doing so on the side of the wall. Jack joined him, putting on the first serious face since this expedition started.

"Now my little ponies," Celestia looked up. "I mean," she backpeddled, "Humans?"

"Yeah, most of us at anyrate, just call us humans," Jack said from the wall.

"It doesn't really matter," Sam put in, standing next to Jack and Teal'c after a long and infuriating battle with a short chair.

"Indeed," Teal'c put in.

"Go on," Daniel said, pulling out a notebook and pen. He was awkwardly wedged in a seat, barely managing to produce a writing hand. Jack snickered a little.

"Now, I'm sure you know that the four of you can not do very much against legions of them, correct?" Celestia started. Daniel began to scribble feverishly in his book, catching every word the princess said and adding a few notes about the culture.

"Indeed," Teal'c nodded. Celestia continued.

"The shimmering portal, you have reinforcements on the other side, correct?" Celestia's horn glowed as a piece of parchment spread itself out in front of her.

"Yes, lots," Sam said, "Much better weapons there too, we've got cruise missiles, tanks, fighters, it goes on and on."

"But we aren't bringing the entire Air Force with us," Jack put in, "Just half of it."

"Indeed. But, O'neil, how will we fit it through the Stargate?" Teal'c questioned, oblivious of the colonel's sarcasam.

"We aren't actually bringing half the Air Force," Jack rolled his eyes, "Just a few special teams and a truckload of C4."

"Wait, what?" Daniel eeked himself around in his chair, looking at his colleagues standing against the wall. "We want to free this place, not turn it into a smoldering crater."

"Nevermind, go on," Jack nodded at the princess. Her inquisitive look vanished as she continued to speak.

"Then I propose that you go through the portal and bring back enough reinforcements to destroy this, Hasbro," Celestia looked at the team as though she had just stated the Gettysburg Address. Jack cracked up.

"Not only do they look like they're made for six year olds, they've got the battle strategy of six year olds as well!" he choaked between giggles. Teal'c stared at him and gave him a sharp whack on the back.

"Thanks big guy," Jack straightened up, patting Teal'c on the shoulder. He nodded. "Now let's go execute mission crayon!"

-----

"And I still think this is ridiculous," Jack continued at a frustrated Daniel, "I mean, pascal colored ponies?! Unicorns?! Sure, they've got a culture, but I still think it's silly."

"Silly or no, we have to get on good terms with them," Daniel said irritably, "We don't want any more enemies than we have to!"

"Enemies?! These things barely know what war is!" Jack threw hands in the air. They were walking through Everfree forest, the foliage licking at their ankles. A few beasts growled at them occasionally, but were quickly frightened off by a couple gunshots.

"Could you just give it rest, you two?" Sam put in, "You've been at this ever since we left Canterlot, I mean enough's enough!"

"Indeed," Teal'c said, bringing up the rear with his staff weapon. "You're constant feud could be quickly and effectively remedied by a Jafa tradition."

"Which is?" Jack prompted, glaring at Daniel.

"Dueling to the death with melee weapons," Teal'c stated flatly. Jack and Daniel exchanged glances.

"We're going just fine, bickering like six year olds, aren't we?" Jack said, looking tensely at Daniel.

"Yeah, just great," Daniel sighed.

"We're here," Sam broke the silence which had fallen over the compony. She walked up to the DHD, it looked derrilict. Weeds tangled through each of the buttons, catching fire as they were pressed.

"We don't need a forest fire and a war," Daniel said, beginning to dump his water bottle on the flames.

The gate turned as the chevrons engaged, and each button pressed started a new fire, which emptied Daniel's water bottle even more. Finally, the last one completed, and a swirling cloud of anti-matter erupted from the gate. Soon, it was back in a glimmering water like sheen.

"Let's get this over with," Jack charged towards the gate, punching the iris code into his radio as he went. There was a soft thump as he dissipeared into the blueness. The others followed silently behind him, one after the other going to Earth.

------

"And that's why we need SG-3 and 4 to come with us," Sam finished. Hammond nodded.

"Very good, captain, colonel?" he turned to Jack, who was reveling in the regular sized chair. "Colonel?"

"Right, yes," he looked seriously at the general, "What Sam said."

"Excuse me?" Hammond raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever she said, I'm sure she said it right," Jack hurridly backpedaled.

"Right..."

"Indeed," Teal'c put in.

"Well it's decided then, meet in the gateroom at 0800 hours," Hammond stood up, "Dismissed."

"That gives me a full hour of non-linedrawn reality," Jack stretched, "What a treat."

"Indeed."

-----

"Chevron 7, ENGAGE!" the voice boomed through the gateroom as the twirling gate clanked into position. The woosh of antimatter that always exited the gate was sucked back in, and SG-1 and SG-3 were standing ready.

"You ready, colonel?" O'neil asked Makepeace as they stood in front of the glistening portal. "It's really weird (and somewhat disgusting if you ask me)."

"I heard that!" Daniel called. O'neil shook his head.

"Believe me colonel," Makepeace adjusted the machine gun on his shoulder, "We've seen lots of weird things."

"Trust me," O'neil said, "This is weirder than weird."

"Let's go have a look, shall we?" Makepeace gestured to his burly marines, charging through the gate. SG-1 followed soon after, finding Makepeace and his team absolutly dumbfounded.

"Bloody hell," Makepeace whispered, "You have got to be kidding me."

"See?" O'neil patted him on the shoulder, "Just wait till you see the locals. They're pastel colored ponies."

"Wait, what?"

Comments

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

pastel colored. Not Pascal colored. Pascal is a computer language, I believe. :|

[Word Wizard]

3128549
Ah well, whoops

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

3128838 No worries. Not the first time I've seen that error. Just pointed it out so you could patch it up. Good story otherwise, far as I'm concerned.

[Word Wizard]

3129045
Sorry 'bout that
I've been working on other projects for a time, but Chapter 5 should keep you happy for a bit

[The Well Dressed Ninja]

3129091

This is what it's like reading this chapter.

[Linite]

Awesome, that's all I've got to say. Also your story kind of inspired a stargate story for me, but I'm using Atlantis instead.

[Word Wizard]

3156588
Always happy to help a fellow author!
Check out my other stories if you need more ideas!

[alehhandro]

Oh daaaammn... this is on hiatus..

just found it and laughed my ass off..

i really hope that this story will someday be finished...

[Word Wizard]

3383862
Rest assured, my friend, one day... Unfortunately, I have big auditions coming up ina a week's time so I haven't been getting to writing too much. Plus I've started a new fic which is not published. I will, though, get around to finishing this one eventually

Glad you liked it. I'm rather surprised by all the upvotes and awesome comments though, it's short, badly written, and was written as basically a long drawn-out joke. I'm glad you fellas like it!

P.S: While you are waiting, check out some of my other works!

[Word Wizard]

3360296
I will keep that in mind. Thanks

[Haviocwolf]

there seem to be quite a few errors in this but i would like to see the chapters be longer if possible and but still enjoyable being a big stargate fan and for better or worse id like to see this finished when you can get to it and not let it die

[Word Wizard]

4137167
I assure you, it will not die. I am, for better or worse, pretty much saving it until I get some decent inspiration (e.g. Actually watch the show which I haven't done for over a year) or its a rainy day and I don't know what else to do.

But do not worry. I have learned a lot as a writer since this, so the next chapter will be WAY better than all of them :D

[fizzfaldt]

If the kwoosh was anti-matter, the entire SGC would be dead.
Sorry, I just can't handle the characterizations here.

[Okie Brony]

4139471
Posted by author in 2014:

I assure you, it will not die.

OFFLINE last seen Oct 29th 2019

You, sir, are a LIAR.

I still added this story to my "read later" list, as I love Stargate.