Stallions of Harmony - Longest Night

by Jetto

TEASE#2: Nerds!

Two days ago, Canterlot was on a verge of apocalypse, without sun, without Princess to rule or even Captain of guards to keep the order within the city. Today, sun was shining, streets were clean and lively as always, Princess was back and even brought another with her. Apparently Nightmare Moon attacked Ponyville, but the Princess managed to not only take her out after long battle, but also save her own sister, Luna, from thousand years imprisonment she suffered from Nightmare Moon.
So aside from having two rulers, nothing changed and life was going as slowly as ever, especially in the University dorms.

“So, how do I look?” asked Moondancer, as she finally left the bathroom, now sporting a fancy, tight red dress, along with a golden necklace and matching purse. Twilight and Sunset, both sitting at the small foldable table, glanced at her.

“Like a tramp looking for porn producers to hire her.” answered honestly Sunset Shimmer, yawning.

“I wouldn't use these exact words...” Twilight Sparkle scratched her head “but yeah, what she said.”

“Perfect!” announced Moondancer, as she looked into their door mirror and made few last adjustments “Don't wait for me girls, I'll be late today.”

“You always are.” said Twilight “Even when you say you'll be late.”

“Well, that's the cost of being able to live a little,” Moondancer shrugged “you girls should join me once in a while, get some life.”

“Pass!” they both announced, now nervously tapping the table and waiting for her to get out. They loved her, but like family, at times she was the best when she was far away from them.

“So, who is the lucky bastard today?” asked Sunset, more out of boredom then curiosity “Anypony we know and should mourn already?”

“Yup, you know him. We all met him just two days ago.” she answered calmly, not taking her eyes of her reflection.

Twilight and Sunset nodded and looked back at their table, but quickly realized something.
“Wait, two days ago was...” Twilight Started, but Moondancer interrupted her.

“Yes, Summer Sun Celebration,” she nodded “I'm going with Silver Sword.”

Her friends looked at each other, raising an eyebrow, then back at Moondancer.
“Moonie, you do realize that he's...” Twilight started.

“Gay? Yes, I know.”

“You're not trying to 'convert' him, are you?”

“Oh heavens, no way!” she turned back to the two “Don't you girls see it?” Moondancer smiled brightly and waited for about a second, before bouncing and giggling like mad “I have my very own GAY BEST FRIEND! SQUEE”

Her happy outburst was met with a long pause and general ignorance.
“Sure, whatever makes you happy.” Sunset shrugged, Twilight nodding.

“Well, it's been fun talking to you girls,” she walked to the door and opened it with magic “but 'the hunt' won't begin by itself. So... see ya, nerds!” and with that she walked away and closed the door.

Sunset and Twilight looked at her for a moment before snorting.
“She did NOT just say that!” said Twilight, shaking her head.

“Like she's any better then us,” Sunset hoof waved and turned back to the table “okay, so where were we?”

“Right, let's see...” Twilight picked her hand of cards (why it's not called 'hoof' was beyond her) and looked through her options, humming. She levitated one of them into the air.
“Okay then, I summon Flamengo!” she put a card on her territory. It showed a large, burning flamingo that breathed fire. It had a power level of 3000, with 2000 life, with 'Energetic' keyword, meaning it could attack the same turn it is summoned. Just enough to defeat Sunset's Fireptile, a chameleon-like creature with flaming eyebeams, power level 1000 and 2000 life, with double attack special power. But something was wrong- Fireptile was immune to fire damage. Did Twilight make a mistake? No, impossible, this is a newbie error. Unless...

“And I'm attaching 'Twist the Elements' to it!” she announced happily, as she put a certain card from her hand to it. Sunset gasped. Twist the Elements was a 'modifier' card that is attached to your creature. Whenever it attacks, you may lower it's attack by 500 and change it's element to any other. A very rare tactic, requires a pro player and well made deck to pull of.

“And I'm attacking your Fireptile with it! HA!” she turned the card sideways, signifying that it's using its action (usually attack) “Any counters?” she asked with a smug face.

Sunset cringed. Twilight knew Sunset had nothing, because she just earlier used 'Demagify', which forced her opponent to discard any spells she had. All Sunset was left with, was a 'Sacrifice' (which could only be used on her turn and it was too late to use it without losing) and 'Electrical Rod' (which dealt lightning damage to its user, so it's best used on those immune to it). She shook her head and removed Fireptile from the game, also throwing a 'point' token to Twilight, who gladly accepted it.

She had just one token left, the end was near. Sunset had to trust her deck to pull out something amazing this turn. She pulled out...
“Hex Salmon?” she cried and FACED the table, shaking all the cards on it. It didn't matter, she lost anyway. Witch Salmon had a special ability- 'if this monster is in play at the start of your turn, you may take a monster from any trash pile and substitute it with it, paying no cost'. It sounds good, until you realize that protecting it for a turn was harder then just playing these monsters normally.

“Why do I even have this in my deck?” she lamented, while Twilight did her victory dance “I'll get you next time, Sparkle!”

Author's Note:

Because you wanted more Maresketeers :) Don't worry, their chapters wont be just about nerdy games.

In case you wonder- this game is a mix of Magic, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh and every single other CCG and LCG that exists. Because I can.

Also, this is the only time I'll be able to say 'hand' freely. 'Hoof of cards' doesn't sound right.

Comments

[Snow123]

Nicol Bolas and Karn shall pwn all card-based resistance.

[suijin228]

Great mini-chapter. Keep goin and stay golden^^

[Vva70]

The parade of negative things happening to our heroes after their triumph is a bit off-putting. I enjoyed the end; don't get me wrong. But to a large extent it feels less like bittersweet results following naturally from the climax, and more like the universe saying "Oooohhhh no. Nope. Not letting you have an ending that's too happy." It doesn't help matters that all of the negative effects are sandwiched right in the middle, and the more positive notes all happen before and after, creating a solid block of negativity.

The real irony is that I can see rationally that the end is far more positive than negative. But the way it's framed, the negative stands out more.

[Jetto]

3502144 What exactly is negative? Could you name some (aside from Shiny not getting his job back, but honestly, at this point its a good thing) ?

[Vva70]

3502216

Shining Armor is essentially on permanent suspension from the guard. Sure, it gives him an excuse to be around Ponyville, but it basically torpedoes any chance at future career advancement.

Then Soarin gets fired from the Wonderbolts. I know he manages to justify it to himself as for the best, but it's still a harsh realization.

And right after that, Thunderlane gets dumped. True, he had a hoof in that, but with the amount we'd seen of him in the forest focused on rescuing Blossomforth...it's painful.

Those are the three things in sequence to which I was referring.

[redandready45]

I am honored that you used my term for them: mare-sketeers. Good luck writing more.

[Jetto]

3502305 Shining is only here until Prince graduates, which is only one more year.
Soarin... ok, true it sucks, but... is that really a bad thing?
And Thunderlane, dude, I mentioned that it happens all the time and it's not something to be bothered about. It takes a lot more to separate them completely. A lot more <wink wink>

[Vva70]

3502541

And like I said, it's clear from a rational basis that there's more good than bad happening in the ending. But the perception that those three events create, happening one-after-another with no real breaks in between, combined to give me a bit of a downer impression.

[Jetto]

3502567 So I guess 'Darling' and 'Nerds' didnt help

[Vva70]

3502607

They...weren't terribly relevant. Like I said, it's not that I dislike your ending. And it's not about the quantity of good things happening to our heroes versus bad things. There's plenty of happy stuff at the beginning of 20, and plenty of happy stuff at the end of 21. I just got kind of down reading the block of unhappy in the middle. It's about the positioning.

[wokow6]

3502144 While I agree with you to a certain extent, I actually quite enjoyed the ending.

There are still negative bits, and can be a downer in places, but I find it to be a mostly happy ending, and gets me excited about things to come.

[Jetto]

3502885>>3502896 Oh well, nopony's perfect It's just a reminder that they all need to work for their happy ending for a bit longer.

[Jetto]

3503612 No idea

[djthomp]

Gotta love the Maresketeers. I'd happily read a story centering on them.

[djthomp]

3502541 It might have been better to reinstate Shining and assign him to detached duty in Ponyville as a guard for the Prince. That way it wouldn't have felt like he was being screwed over purely for Blueblood's benefit.

[Freewing Alchemist P]

Tow days ago, Canterlot was on a verge of apocalypse, without sun, without Princess to rule or even Captain of guards to keep the order within the city.

Nice ending and I like the teasers too.
Twilight and Sunset are card nerds that is just too funny. Their playing

Nerd Poker

That is priceless just too funny.

Thanks for the story.
Hope you will have more
Good luck.

[Jetto]

3506762 Or is she an enemy ?

[charlp]

3506775It is intriguing,

[Jetto]

3510114 ... you people are psychic or what? First someone predicted Shining's love interests, now this...

...oh crap, spoiler

[Jetto]

3515326 Opinions are fine, as long as you present them properly.

I see your point. To be perfectly honest, I had this ending in my head since the story began and I desperately wanted to include all these jokes in (except Scotaloo- this was a recent idea). This story wont turn into a zany random comedy (though I do plan to add some 'moments') though, but there will be much more slice of life stories then action-drama.
Now that this story is over I dread to write anything else, scared that I'll go to one direction a bit too far. Too much comedy will be bad, too much action will be bad for me and the drama will be of a completely different kind then what Blueblood live through.

Still, gotta have my hopes high and try my best. Thanks for sticking with me, I hope I wont let you down... too much.

[The Great Derpsby]

3548438
Not necessarily an issue:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/11/6/144305__safe_pinkie+pie_cup+cake_carrot+cake_pumpkin+cake_pound+cake_artist-colon-astringe.png

[Jetto]

3560667 Took you long enough Glad you like it.

[Frankie2]

3560792 Sorry. I would have fav'ed this story at chapter 5, but that would have added twenty to my favorites. Five is more manageable.

[Icarus Crimsonhoof]

I like it bravo.

[Zeke Muller]

Hope you're thinking of giving the mane 6 more spotlight,
as well as a deep plot for the "alternate dimensions": thing from an early chapter.
I also hope you're not thinking of leaving the misunderstanding between Shining Armor and Rainbow unresolved I don't think she would even get the wrong idea like that...

[Beowulfe]

I sense many sequels to come. Keep up the good work, friend

[Jetto]

3617390 Tried it a few times, but asides from some help with several chapters at the start, nobody really responded.
I want to get through first few chapters and heavily proofread them, but I keep getting too busy or lazy. It gets better later, so hopefully you don't mind.

[Jetto]

3630283 Huh... I never knew Manehattaverse was a thing! I only read the pilot, but never knew there was more. I'll check it out sometimes.

And yes, this is already becoming a new universe. The working name is "Stallionverse", but if I'll think of anything better, I'll change it. I'll make a qroup once I get more stories ready.

[Capn_Chryssalid]

Apparently Nightmare Moon attacked Ponyville, but Princess managed to take her out after long battle, but also save her own sister, Luna, from thousand years imprisonment she suffered from Nightmare Moon.

I'd suggest a slight reworking here for clarity:

Apparently Nightmare Moon attacked Ponyville, but the Princess managed to not only take her out after long battle, but also save her own sister, Luna, from thousand years imprisonment she suffered from (at the hooves of?) Nightmare Moon.

Which means they've got a rather different cover story than the mane six had in canon. Much more deniability.

especially in University dorms.
especially in the University dorms.

The dorms... though I sort of like the idea of Twilight as a sorority girl...

[Snowy Flanks]

Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and... [gasp] My sister?!

[Jetto]

3830399 I'm implying a lot of messing around with your heads. Don't think about it too hard, just relax- it's only a fanfic

[Jetto]

4586376 At least it's not "Fiendship"

... I'll go fix that

[Jetto]

4598486 Finally someone who sees it!

[The Letter J]

Well, this was an entertaining story. The only problem is that I think the grammar errors and typos are more numerous than the ponies that Soarin and and Moondancer have slept with combined.
So many errors.

Still, I enjoyed it, and I'll be off to the sequels soon.

[Jetto]

4694861 Welcome aboard. Grab something, cause the ride'll be bumpy, that much is for sure.

Sorry to another eyebleeding victim. I'm editing it a little as the time go by, hopefully that will help to reduce the plague I'm getting a little better in later stories, I think.

[Jetto]

4959472 In a grand scheme of things, it shouldn't matter who has how many living parents. Wait till you get to Thunderlane's story (assuming you'll keep on reading sequels), where it's actually an important plot point.

[Jetto]

4964739 Lol I personally like the "Soarin, Element of Swag" the best.

[darkvslight346]

I finished this story and I have to say I loved it, you did a good job making blue blood sympathetic and It was nice to see you take the pilot episode and make it last for the entire story a nice twist for something that is usually over done.

My only problem with it was that there were several grammar errors that made me have to reread a few lines a couple times, but other than that good job.

Also what doctor is this he has the appearance of a ponifed 10th doctor but acts like the 11th doctor at times, also will he regenerate in other stories.

[Jetto]

4966767 Yeah, sorry for eyebleeds, I'm known to do that in my early stuff I get better later.

To answer your question, he looks like the 10th, the one you immediately associate with Doctor Whooves in the fandom (you know, the one from the cover). Whether he will regenerate or if he even IS Doctor is yet to be answered.

[darkvslight346]

4966774 I have the feeling he is the doctor and when I'm right, somebody better pick up the phone, BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED IT

[Jetto]

5033945 Wait till you see them again

[Orange Pudding]

4966783 ....
(Dramatically and flamboyantly throws everything off the goddamn desk)
(Furiously jots down that line for future reference)

[darkvslight346]

5048856 sure I got that line from team four star

[Jetto]

5048856
5049708
If you want to steal lines, steal them from good shows

[darkvslight346]

5049784 wait do you watch dbz abriged

[Jetto]

5071737 Whelp, I gotta fix a part that needs to be fixed.

[Drakkanien]

It was a really god story. I liked concept and execution of your story, oh! And your writing style!
Yes, this ends as one of my (few) favourites.

[Jetto]

5278122 It's a national secret

5278953 Nightmare Moon: I am an adult!