11. Welcome to Ponyville, for real!
The festivities in Ponyville met Shining Armor's expectations. Previously carried around tables and tents were now stalls with food, attractions, games and gift shops. The streets were full of ponies of all kinds, in fact, there were more ponies than he ever thought possible could live in a single town. He could also notice several donkeys, wearing colorful tropical shirts and straw hats, gryphons flying around in an orderly fashion and even saddle arabian horses, towering anypony they passed by. This small hamlet has been turned into a tourist attraction, the sight of Princess Celestia raising the sun was just one of the reasons.
He wished Twilight was here with him, she would love this place, even if he had to drag her here by force. Sadly, she was extra busy with studies, so he had to have some fun alone. He also realized that he shouldn't be thinking about his sister in a town full of mares. He passed several of them, most of them he remembered from the party. They did not seem angry at least, if anything, they were ogling him a little too much. He blushed and trotted away faster, looking for a good place to sit. And he found it, a giant set of tables full of familiar dishes, right in the middle of the entire town, next to town hall. And it had a giant apple logo on it.
"Hey there, parnder." Big Macintosh happily greet him, as he moved to the counter "Now you look awfully happy, considerin' what happened."
"Well, I can't say too much, but things are turning out good."
"Happy ta hear. Got time for a snack? It's on the house."
"Gladly!" he said, as he licked his lips and looked around the table full of already deliciously confirmed apple (and orange) tasty treats. As he scanned the table, among all the things he tried, he noticed a lone, mini apple strudel, which he remembered as being delightful, more so than anything short of zap apple cupcake. He moved his hoof towards the treat, but collided with another hoof.
"Eeep!" the mare squeeked scarily. Shining expected to see Fluttershy, but instead noticed a raspberry earth pony with blonde mane. She had a lily in her hair. He could swear he saw her at the party, but couldn't remember her name. He smiled at her regardless.
"Oh, hello there, didn't see you, my bad." he laughed nervously, as the mare shook her head, but said nothing. He grabbed the strudel with his magic and put it on her plate.
"You can have this, I already had one earlier. It's delicious." he announced happily, looking into her eyes. She was now trembling in fear and couldn't take her eyes away. She opened her mouth and started forming words.
"T-th...h..t..." she stuttered, blushed, grabbed the plate in her mouth, then turned around and quickly ran away.
"Miss, watch out for-..."
KNOCK! SLAM!
"...bench!" he was about to run after her, but as soon as he thought that, two more earth ponies ran towards her. Rosemaned one gently patted her on the head, while a lime maned one helped her stand up and wiped her dirty mane with a tissue. He couldn't help but smile, looking at power of friendship working in full motion.
Friendship... Why would he reject something like that?
"Wow, she likes you." announced somepony standing nearby the stalls. He was a fairly tall, light blue pegasus with dark blue long hair tied back in a ponytail. He also had thick hipster glasses on his nose.
"Yeah, sure." answered Shining Armor, as he returned to the table and helped himself with a fritter.
"Yup, this is a nice fritter alright." mentioned the pegasus.
"Yeah, delicious." agreed Shining Armor. The pegasus snorted.
"Huh? Oh yes, the food's good too." replied the hipster pegasus, as he licked his lips and looked over the stalls. Shining Armor blinked. He looked in the same vague direction, but saw only several apple ponies working. Applejack was here, Big Macintosh and one light yellow mare with green mane tied by a single, red ribbon. She had an apple fritter as her cutie mark. What was her name again?
Big Macintosh noticed that and intervened.
"Better get yer hooves where we can see 'em, buddy," said Big Mac, as he walked over "she's engaged."
"Oh... Well, shoot." he shrugged and moved his eyes a little bit to the right.
"And better not ogle my lil'sister, either."
Hipster pony sighed with annoyance "Okay, fine. Chill, plenty more mares to choose from. This town is chock full of them, I love it!" He grabbed himself the nearest treat he could find. Shining Armor recognized the rainbow pattern on the cupcake and looked at him curiously, as he took a single bite. The pegasus froze in place, his eyes widened significantly and tears started flowing from his eyes. He wasn't convulsing, thankfully.
"Did I look like that?" asked Shining Armor, pointing at frozen pegasus.
"Eyuup."
"Huh... that is just too weird."
"Eyuup."
Their conversation didn't become too awkward, as they were greeted by few more familiar faces, as he noticed Thunderlane, Blossomforth, Doctor and Ditzy walking by.
"Hey, I see somepony more cheerful than they should be." announced Doctor "I'm guessing everything is going fine, then?"
"Well, it's better."
"He's not here, isn't he?" asked Blossomforth warily, looking around the fair.
"No, he's back in the library, sleeping."
"Oh, ok. That's good, I guess."
There was another awkward pause within the group. Ditzy looked around them and coughed.
"So, Shining, how do you like Ponyville so far?"
He smiled and looked around the fair "It's nice, I guess. It's small, but there's something every corner. And ponies are friendly, too."
They were soon interrupted by two small, shouting figures. There was one little pegasus colt with white coat and black mane, and the other was a little, light purple-grayish filly unicorn with blonde mane. Both completely blank and adorable. They stopped near the adults and bounced with boundless energy.
"Two bits, shooting range, plush Ursas! No time to explain!" shouted rapidly the colt, as he looked expectantly at Thunderlane.
"Oh I don’t know, Rumble..." Thunderlane looked smugly "...I would, but you seem to be forgetting something, don't you?"
Rumble stopped bouncing and looked at Thunderlane with beady eyes "Umm... please?" he smiled.
"Much better." replied Thunderlane, happily giving the energetic colt two golden bits.
"Awesome! Come on Dinky, it's time to hunt ursas!"
"YAY!' they both shouted.
And as soon as hey appeared, they vanished, Ditzy tried to tell them to be careful and don't run, but to no avail. Shining Armor smiled as he looked at two kids. Twilight used to be like that too, except she was a bookworm, didn't yell this much, wasn't into parlor games, didn't beg for bits for attractions and come to think of it, she was nothing like them. She was still cute, though.
"That filly looks a lot like you Ditzy," he said to the derp eyed mare "she's your sister?"
Ditzy blushed and giggled "No silly, she's my daughter."
Shining Armors jaw dropped at the revelation. He looked closely at Ditzy, but all he saw was a young mare, barely adult, probably even younger then himself. Or was she? He couldn't tell her age, but he could tell that she was a little bit flattered. He turned to the other pair for distraction.
"And you two have a really energetic son," he announced towards Thunderlane and Blossomforth "he really looks a lot like you."
Suddenly, all the smile from previously cheerful Blossomforth disappeared. Her mane instantly lost all color (it was white anyway, so they barely noticed), eyes lowered to the ground. Thunderlane facehoofed, while others started giggling. Shining Armor looked around, searching for answer, until Thunderlane finally explained.
"Rumble is my brother, not son."
"...son...old..." muttered Blossomforth, as she slowly, unconsciously dug into the ground.
"Oh, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! He just looked so... I mean..." he stopped and also covered himself in blush.
Finally Blossom started sobbing, as she laid herself upon Ditzy, who took her under her wing.
"Ditzy, I'm too young to be a mother!"
"We're the same age." answered coldly Ditzy, but was swiftly ignored.
"It's the eye-bags, right? I just worked two shifts, I'm just tired, not... not... do I have wrinkles? It's the cloud moisture, I sweat!"
"Blossom, you're panicking again!"
"I'm too young and ambitious to be a mother!"
"It's not the end of the world, I'm a mother too... I mean, you're not!"
"Everypony thinks I'm uuuuglyyyyyy!" and she finally broke down into full on crying over Ditzy's shoulder. The gray mare gentle patted her on the back.. Thunderlane sighed deeply and stroked her hair.
"That's not true, honey. I think you're beautiful."
"YOU DON'T COUNT! YOU LOVE ME ANYWAAAAAAAYY!"
Thunderlane stopped for a moment, then looked at others.
"How am I supposed to react to this?"
"I'll take care of her." announced Ditzy, as she moved sobbing Blossomforth away, getting Thunderlanes nod of appreciation. Thunderlane looked at Shining Armor and patted his back.
"Don't worry, she'll be fi-."
"SWEET CELESTIA THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!"
They all turned toward the previously forgotten hipster pony, as he finally woke up from his zap apple induced taste coma, his cheeks still wet from tears of bliss.
"So slow." they all announced, as they looked at the pegasus.
"Oh hey guys, when did you get here?" he asked happily, finishing his cupcake in rapid motion. Nopony answered him, so he shrugged and reached for few more treats. Meanwhile, the other three (four, if always busy Big Macintosh was counted), continued their conversations.
"Anyway," started Doctor "what did the Princess want with good old mister Blueblood?"
Shining Armor thought for a moment "I didn't really hear the entire conversation, but from what I heard, they used to be very close."
"They're not related?" asked hipster pony.
"No, they have a more aunt-nephew relationship from the looks of it." answered Shining Armor.
"Long ago, Blueblood Clan used to be just a small noble family," explained Doctor "but after most have died in a fire accident, the sole survivor was adopted by Princess. He started the entire generation."
"Really now?"
"It was hundreds of years ago," continued Doctor "they mostly forgotten the truth about their ancestor and gossips started forming. Some said that Ceasar, the original Blueblood, was Princess husband and she gave birth to his entire line. Others claimed that he was Celestia's son, and some claim that he was her loyal subject, that she made immortal, but as he grew in power, he lost himself and became a monster, so she turned him to stone to save everypony."
"And the truth is?" asked hipster pony while chowing another slice of pie.
"Lost in time, I'm afraid. Back then hardly anypony bothered with recording history, and what little there was got destroyed or falsified. Many accuse Princess of manipulating records for her own benefit. Some say that she staged the story about Discord with high level illusions and transformations, and later used him to blackmail feuding noble houses. Others claim that Nightmare Moon was actually Celestia's daughter gone bad, so she banished her on the moon and spread a false legend, so ponies would offer candy to her statues every year, just to keep her existence in ponies mind. Some claim that Celestia takes the all that candy for herself."
They all looked at Doctor with disbelief. He shrugged.
"These are the legends and myths, at least. There is a grain of truth in them, but whose to say which on-... Oh, is that a double bubble apple pie?" he asked, pointing at the slice sitting on hipster ponies plate. He shrugged and handed it to him with a smile.
"Help yourself."
And he did, as he ate the entire piece in one bite and chewed on it happily. Shining Armor looked at the mysterius pegasus that he couldn't help but feel was familiar. He looked closer, attracting his attention.
"What? Am I dirty somewhere?"
"No, it's just that... do I know you?"
After a short pause, the pegasus snorted "Nice one! Almost got me."
"No, seriously, who are you?"
Pegaus's laughter slowly died, as he looked at Shining Armor "...wait, you don't remember?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Shining Armor shook his head. Others did so as well. He deadpanned as he looked at them.
"We just met today, like, two hours ago."
Nothing. All four of them raised a hoof to their chins and tilted their heads, carefully inspecting the mystery stallion.
"... Soarin. The Wonderbolt." he answered annoyed, rolling his eyes. They all looked a bit closer at his face, mane, coat, then finally got the right idea and checked his rear for a cutie mark. They gasped with shock, as they noticed the familiar bolt of lightning with gray wings.
As if they weren't convinced, he took of his glasses and let loose his hair, revealing the exact face they all saw on posters.
"Wow, totally different!" they all announced. Soarin smiled at the reaction.
"Yep, that's my undercover mode, whenever I want to eat a slice of pie without being bothered by fangirls. Works every single time."
"Then why did you expect us to recognize you?" asked Thunderlane.
Soarin thought for a moment. "Because... shut up!" he looked away and blushed, while others couldn't help but laugh out loud. Soarin rolled his eyes and looked away, but couldn’t hide his smile as well. But then, his eyes went really wide.
"Woah, hot twins on my one'o'clock!" he announced to others. They curiously looked away and noticed a pair of two pegasus mares, both pale, light gray colored with white hair, almost identical to each other. The only difference between them, aside from cutie marks, were their hairstyles. One had a straight long hair tied with a bow, the other more spiky mane.
"Okay, I need a wingpony, fast! You game?" he quickly asked Shining Armor. The guard blushed and shook his head nervously.
"No, no, no, I, umm... I'm still kinda on duty, sorry."
"Okay, sure... how about you guys?"
"Nnoope, busy workin'."
"I'm taken."
"No thanks."
Soarin groaned "Fine, more for me then. Now..." he fixed his hair and brushed his hooves "...watch and learn from the master. This is gonna be legen--, wait for it!" and then he was gone, as he rushed towards the two cuties.
Meanwhile, Doctor, Thunderlane and Big Macinosh couldn’t help but snort. Shining Armor looked at them confused.
"What? What's so funny?"
Thunderlane closed to Shining and put a hoof over his shoulder "He's about to get a good taste of 'Welcome to Ponyville'."
"Welcome to Ponyville?" asked Shining, and others nodded in agreement. Thunderlane continued his explanation.
"You see, everypony that enters Ponyville, can't miss the three important events. They will happen eventually, no matter who you are and what you do to avoid them. You already had the taste of the first one, which was Surprise Pinkie Party."
Shining Armor nodded and kept listening.
"I don't want to spoil the second one, so let's just say that the keyword is "Crusade". You'll know what I mean when it happens."
"And the third one?"
"That would be finding out that Cloudchaser and Flitter over there are not sisters, and are in fact happily in love with each other. Extreme filly-foolers, no boys allowed club."
Shining's jaw dropped at that. He could swear that both mares were pretty much the same except for hair. Or maybe it was just the general lack of proper lighting that obscured such things?
He looked at Soarin, as he got the mares attention and started talking.
"Anytime now." said Thunderlane, as they all observed.
Soarin first said a few things, while both mares looked at him with amusement, then at each other, giggled and said something to Soarin, making him take a sudden step back.
"And there it is. Welcome to Ponyville, Soarin." announced Thunderlane, wearing a smug smile.
However, Soarin's interaction with Cloudchaser and Flitter did no end there. He stepped forward again, said something which made the pair raise an eyebrow, then giggle, which slowly turned into a heartfelt laughter. Not the mocking 'you gotta be kidding me' kind, but sincere 'you are a funny guy'. Cloudchaser turned to her fillyfriend and asked something, to which she aswered and nodded, and Soarin's wings fluttered happily.
"Ok..." noted Thunderlane confusedly "...that never happened before."
"Eeyuup."
Soarin said something to the mares, then quickly flew back to the dumbstruck stallions. They looked at him wide-eyed. He coughed and took a deep breath.
"...-dary!" he announced happily.
"How?"
"Secret. Now I'm off to spend my last half hour break with two bombshell lesbians. See ya!"
Then he was gone, soon to get between two mares, chatting and laughing with them. Thunderlane's jaw dropped almost to the ground.
"No..." he said slowly "...that did not just happen! It can't!"
"Looks like it did." said Doctor
"But its impossible! I know Cloudchaser and Flitter since highschool, they DO NOT swing an inch away from themselves, EVER. It has to be a trick, some kind of magic!"
"He's not a unicorn."
"Then... then some gryphon magic, or zebra, or I dunno?"
"Gryphon magic doesn't work like that. They have no inner mana inside their bodies or a way to channel them, in fact there is no signs of any kind of sorcery from them aside from occasional protective runes carved on their fortresses and armaments, but even they are actually of unicorn origins. They were given to them by Princess as a part of the peace treaty, and they don't use them lightly, seeing as they need to be powered by magical crystals, which became an expensive commodity ever since Crystal Empire vanished from existence one thousand years ago.
And zebra magic isn't a magic per say, but alchemy, which can be replicated by anypony, so their shamans keep their recipes a secret to rest of the world. Believe me, I know firsthoof they don't like sharing. And even if he got the recipe, it requires a lot of ingredients found mostly in dangerous places, so buying them requires a wallet bigger then even a wonderbolt salary can provide, and getting them by yourself is close to suicide, usually requiring a highly specialized, well trained team to get a small amount and come back alive."
Then there was silence.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Nothing," ansered Thunderlane "thank you, mister exposition."
"Pleasure is always mine."
Shining Armor looked at Doctor with curiosity. He knew he was strange from before, but he seemed like a cool guy to have around. One thing bugged him though.
"So, Doctor... I don't think I caught your name."
"It's Doctor."
"Doctor Who?"
"BWAHAHAHAHA!"
And then brown stallion completely lost it and fell on the ground, laughing like a madpony. Thunderlane and Big Macintosh only shrugged as Shining tried to look at them for answers.
Doctor's hysteric laughter lasted for over a minute, until he finally lost breath and slowly stood up and wiped the tears.
"I'm sorry, I haven't heard that one in a while. Still as priceless as ever."
They all decided not to ask him too much questions anymore and concentrated instead on more down to earth conversations. Despite some overall weirdness surrounding this place, Shining Armor couldn't help but feel at ease.
The only regret he had, was that he still had to take care of Prince Blueblood. Just once more, then he would never have to deal with him ever again.
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I love this story so much... however
you said the second sign was 'crusade' which would refer to the CMC, but they aren't created until after the nightmare moon thing. I just wanted to voice that, I am aware hat this being an alternate universe story kind of dismisses any and all inconsistencies
3013168 I never said I follow canon to the tee
CMC's already exist in this universe.
3013216 Almost. But close nontheless
Dang, Soarin's got skills.
This chapter seemed like a breath of fresh air without Blueblood: all the ponies were smiling, conversing, and generally having a good time.
At some point in the story, Nightmare Moon will arrive, and Celestia will disappear. How Blueblood responds to that will determine whether he's changed, or is still the arrogant jerk that he always was.
Overall, this is one of the best "Turn Blueblood from an ass to a good guy" stories I've read so far.
Soarin's good.
Soarin is giving me the Barney vibe... that is legen... wait for it...
dary!
So much headache...
You know there is something very wrong with a main character when you want to cry tears of joy at his absence. Everything was so fun and in harmony without him. Then he's going to come back and I will want to punch him in the face again. 
3012298 I was actually trying to make a joke with Blunivers it wasn't a real suggestion.
But that is great I you hoping to create a whole new MLP Universal Lore like the Lunavers or the male counter part?
Soarin' actually got a lesbian couple for the night?! Legendary... Shining Armor, best to get some pointers and use it STAT!!!
3013168 Also a funny thing in the cannon anyway. When Nightmare Moon showed up they were hiding under one of the tables together, but acted like they'd never met before when they officially formed the CMC.
My reaction to the lesbian scene...
3026839
It's not that I dislike him or anything! In fact, I'm hoping he develops a change of heart and apologizes to everypony he's hurt, angered, and pretty much pushed away.
3026839 Blueblood is actually one of my favorite character in the show, because of interesting fanfic exposure. However, I still think this version is infuriating, since that is apparently the intent so far, that just tells good stuff about the author.
Soarin's a pimp.
Some pony get Soarin a pimp hat.
Soarin reminds me of a mix between Barney Stinson and Tucker from RvB
Wow, he's good.
AH! He said it! He said it!
Also, Soarin is now the Memetic Badass/Sex God of the Blueniverse.
Soarin is one smooth operator.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/269/805/40e.png
Doctor Who?
Well... that's not too far from the truth
OH, MY GOSH THAT REMINDS ME! knock knock!
6315802
Who's there?