For as long as the ponies of Equestria have known, the common conception of the diamond dogs are that they are nothing more than savage bipedal canine creature that have a penchant for causing mischief and scouring the rich earth for gems and minerals. However, that is not the truth.
When tasked with an objective that is far too difficult for the royal guards and even the elements of harmony to handle, Shining Armor turns to the princesses for guidance. What he receives for back up will end up surprising more than the stalwart captain.
If I said that this wasn't inspired by metal gear solid five: the phantom pain, then I'd be lying.
Chapters (7)
If I said the only reason I clicked on this was because it said Metal Gear, I'd be lying.
It's not too bad for an opening chapter. Helps get the characters and setting established. The main things I noticed:
1) "Celestia's sun"
This is a really cliche phrase, along with "Celestia's day", "Luna's moon", "Luna's night/sky". Just saying "the sun" is fine enough.
2) Dialogue punctuation
I'm gonna use a couple examples.
There should be a comma after "two" and a period after "themselves".
This should look like this:
At least, I'm pretty sure that's how it works. Punctuation in situations like this are tricky. I typically avoid them for that reason.
So yeah. Dialogue that has a tag (i.e., "He said", "she asked") needs a comma at the end. Dialogue that's interrupted needs em dashes ( – ). Dialogue that's a complete sentence needs a period at the end.
I'm gonna slip this into my read later and keep an eye on it.
Huh, all right. I'll bite. Let's see where this goes.
This story is covered in potential! I'm lovin it so far, good work!
Oh, Excellent cliffhanger
NO WHINING!
Good god I am loving this story
Oh please, everything is far too difficult for the royal guards. I bet they can't even run a mile
.
2777963 well you got me there
it was short, but it left a lot of impact where it counted so it all balanced out in my book.
"I don't remember the sun being so flat"
Nice MGS4 reference you made there.
Pretty good, but there is one thing I don't understand. Why exactly do Diamond Dogs put up with all the negative propaganda?
2801641 when you think about, a thousand years of propaganda is hard to overcome when you are a diamond dog in a nation that's mostly comprised of mainly ponies. It's like a sapling that has grown into a great oak tree, hard to topple over without the right resources. They really have no choice but to conform (whether they like it or not) to the life that was given until they have the chance to make things right.
Think about Big Boss and his speeches about being pawns of the government and used by the higher ups until they can be thrown away like nothing at all when their usefulness is all washed up. Or at least I think I remember him talking about stuff like that in peace walker, my memories a little hazy. Correct me if I'm wrong about that
2804409 Thanks for explaining it to me, and Yeah, the manipulation of the little guy was a big theme in peace walker (it was also mentioned here and there in MGS3).
I can't wait to see Rover hide in a cardboard box.
YAY! UNFAIR TYRANT CELESTIA! LET US ALL HATE HER FOR MANIPULATING EVERYONE!
Oh this is going to be fun!!
Celtsia is a muanipulated bich what else is new
ahh well this better go good for the dogs
FUCK YA FOR GUY WITH THUMBS AND LET LOOSE THE MARIENS AKA THE DOGS OF WAR WHOOORRRAAAAA DOGS
why do I have the feeling the ponies will do something stupid and rover saves their ass then they join up with dogs for equality take that you racist bitch Celestia. I only have one problem with this fic why is Luna racist too personally I blame Celestia for being a bad example on impreshnabul little Luna
Ohhh and dude
Any possibility the rebels making a counter-offert to the Daimond Dogs? Even if Rover doesn´t suspect already Celestia´s betrayal, he knows her enough to trust her word.
2946998 the enemy might try, but what can they offer that the dog's current employers already can? Other than that, Rover only trust Celestia... to a point.
Celestia better get whats coming to her in this story
3034579 karma always catches up to you
Oddly, the description and picture hold nothing that I find intriguing, but I am, never the less, intrigued. I will read this.
On another note, why is every comment on this page misspelled?
3069436 I assume the comments were hastily written, hence the errors
and solid dog gets the first shot
And so it begins...
Celestia is way too moustache curling evil XD. And Rover is a boss, bitch slapping Luna and all.
4175882
Ironic since he's essentially the Big Boss of this fic.
Cue Alert Phase!
I can only hear Spot as Kaz.
I'M REALLY LIKING THIS STORY.
This chapter was awesome almost badass even.
:) :) :)...... This story is awesome
I hope this story gets continued Sumeday
And it ends just as things were getting badass