Arachnid. Perhaps the most feared name in all of Equestria. An assassin of renowned infamy, Arachnid never failed to complete a contract killing. Anyone or anything unfortunate enough to become his target would be dead before the next sunrise, with proof of his success in hoof. Be it the severed ear of a haughty noble, or the freshly skinned flank of some wannabe criminal, Arachnid always delivered.
He was the stallion who made ponies fear to tread the streets at night, and even made Princess Celestia wary of the shadows. But at the height of his career, he vanished off the face of the planet. Never to be heard from ever again. Some speculated that he cashed out when the going was good and retired to live a long and happy life. Others say he went on to bigger and better things whilst hiding completely in plain sight.
While these explanation seem plausible, none mention even once about the legacy that he left behind. A legacy that he bestowed to his only kin and heir to his name. His daughter, Fluttershy.
One shot, not sure if I'm gonna expand on this
What heartless bastards would dislike this? I swear, if it's because they don't like the heacannon...
Either way.
i.imgur.com/uvXk7Ir.png
I await more (unless this is a one-shot and you forgot to change it from Incomplete.)
What I like: Well written, nice pacing, doesn't feel rushed, decent headcannon, nice show of emotion.
What I don't like: Arachnid himself, his attitude sort off clashes with mine, so that's a given.
Never read something like this before.
But i'm liking the hell out of this.
I am intrigued by this and eager to see more.
I did see a few issues, though.
He beheaded eleven ponies at once? That seems a tad bit unbelievable to me. It would be rather difficult to pull something like that off, and I think that he could just cut them with that knife with considerably less effort.
How is Arachnid so well-known that his name alone fills everyone with fear? If he typically kills all witnesses, then the only ways I can think for him to become that infamous are either 1)being the only assassin around, so all murders are attributed to him or 2)he leaves some sort of signature behind to mark his kills. The first is clearly not the case, and you don't mention the second at all.
And while we're talking about Arachnid, his character just seems off to me. I don't quite know what it is right now, but he just seems wrong. But I suppose it's not a big deal if this is going to be the last chapter about him.
I also noticed a few spelling and grammar errors spread throughout.
And I really hope that "Body Bag" is code name. If not, his/her parents were kind of awful.
woah an arachnid cross-over this is a first. first chapter is pretty good a few logic errors and the way arachnid is portrayed bugs me(the combat scene felt rushed and why leave arachnid with kumoito if he isnt going to use it properly?). will fav and i look forword to more.
Wow, that was amazing. Update soon please! There were a few grammar mistakes, but not a ton. If you want a proof reader, you could always kik me at bronyfurry101
Great job!
4207655 I loved the manga and all the characters, especially Fuji Alice. Only wished the chapters would update faster...
4209088
yea me too and i really hope they find a new artist for the spin-off.
4209555 eyup
4207586 I'll address each one in order
1.The fight scene was rather hit or miss when I wrote simply because I sorta shot myself in the foot with the setting I chose. Being Cloudsdale, emphasis on the word cloud, it was a tad bit difficult to juxtapose a fight where there was really no 'solid' piece of scenery for Arachnid's earth pony lineage and specialized knife to latch onto save for the mooks. Sure he coulda turned them into shashimi in a flash but I ended up going the ridiculously flashy and hard to do but not impossible route.
2. I haven't mentioned it yet but I will explain the intended logic behind his infamy. While he isn't the lone assassin Equestria has to offer, nor is he as narcissistic enough to leave behind a calling card to his work like the riddler or Joker, he's backed up by the guild he works for that was briefly mentioned. They spread his reputation around through rumor mills and gossip and form some sort of tangible living myth, allowing the guild to attain more contracts while keeping their identity to a secured minimum. Hence his infamy in name alone without regards to the classic behavior of an assassin.
3. I was experimenting with his personality while I was writing. Did I want him to be snarky like Spiderman or slightly apathetic and devoted to his craft like Altair from AC? In the end I settled for the guy who finally grew a conscience after so many years of killing ponies. His offbeat attitude is an attempt to justify his own existence as a killer and to (futilely) prove his victims that his moral compass is guided towards the lighter gray than the black area while trying to be 'normal' in a sense. He's not doing a very good job at it.
4. Body Bag is not a codename, sadly.
hope that clears up some things up.
Great story. Looking forward to a new update.
4209088
No offence and while this is not worth saying but I misread that as Fuji Apple....
I hope for this to continue
4207655
A crossover? Are you saying Arachnid was seen in another franchise, or within the MLP fanfics?
I think you should expand this, it seems pretty awesome.
I also think you should add a crossover tag, since does seem to be referencing a manga called Arachnid.
9334111
Maybe, there were plans for some sort of followup but I never really saw that through.