Barnyard Closure

By: carnivale

Applejack reared back and lunged, slamming her back hooves into a stout, hefty tree, scarlet apples showering her among unlatching from the branches and landing in the baskets placed around the trunk. She bucked the tree again for good measure, causing a few more stubborn apples to fall into the baskets and leave the tree as barren as a desert.

The farm pony wiped sweat off her brow, a satisfied grin playing on her lips. She sighed deeply. “Just a few more to go, then Ah can enjoy a nice cup of cider and rest mah aching hooves.” She felt warmth sprout in her belly at the kindling thought, and that motivated her to finish the rest of the trees on the field.

She trotted to a nearby tree containing more apples, which thankfully already had baskets surrounding its thick trunk. She turned, reared again, and bucked.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!”

What plunged out of the tree was more than just apples and the loud yelp of surprise that permeated the farm pony’s ears. A cyan, multi-coloured blur tumbled out of the branches, landing with a hard thud on the rocky earth and barely missing Applejack by a few inches.

Applejack jumped back in bewilderment, her heart skyrocketing in her chest. She managed to calm herself down, however, when she realized the familiar face that plummeted out of the tree moments before.

“Rainbow Dash!” she exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing. “Were you sleepin’ in my trees again?”

“Yes, I was,” Dash grumbled, the stars that were clouding her vision managing to clear away. She rose to her hooves and brushed herself off. “And it was surprisingly comfy. Thanks for waking me up, by the way.”

Applejack rolled her eyes at her friend, albeit she couldn’t help but stifle a smirk of amusement. She also couldn’t help but think that Rainbow Dash was… rather cute when she was seething in anger and irritation. A pink hue faintly travelled across her freckled cheeks, and she felt her stomach filling up with warmth. She realized it too late, however, and wished Rainbow hadn’t noticed.

“Uh, AJ?” the cyan pegasus inquired. Whoops. “You okay?”

With a racing heart, the farm pony concluded that she had been staring for far too long without realizing. Her flushed cheeks growing pinker, she awkwardly shook her head, clearing all thoughts with a single wag. “Y-yep, everything’s fine.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“So, Rainbow, why were ya sleepin’ in my trees? Don’t ya have a cloud to nap on, or somethin’?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, I had to clear all the clouds to make room for the thunderclouds the rest of the pegasi are bringing in soon.”

Applejack cocked her head. “There’s a storm comin’?”

“Yeah. We missed a few scheduled rain showers earlier, so we need a thunderstorm to make up for it.”

And, as if on cue, an abrupt shift in wind picked up around the two ponies, whirling their manes and tails in tornadoes behind them. The leaves rustled and the trees bent at an awkward angle as the wind continued to grow stronger and stronger.

“Ah, dagnabbit, Rainbow, Ah got a few more apple trees to buck! Gotta get ‘em before they get ruined!” No more words needed, Applejack sprang into action.

Dash blinked, one eyebrow elevated and the other scrunching down her eye to a mere slit in her face. “Does it really matter? I thought water was good for the trees and apples.”

Applejack groaned as if Dash just said something uncannily stupid. “Ah meant, these trees are prone to lightnin’! Ah don’t want my apples gettin’ sizzled to the core, not when it’s Applebuck Season!”

“Okay, okay. Sheesh.” Rainbow Dash held up her hooves in defeat.

The skies began to grow gray and the air dank and humid, the smell of rain already hitting their nostrils. The weather team’s thunderclouds started piling up immediately, shielding Celestia’s vibrant sun and the mere patches of blue left in the sky. Dark clouds kept arriving until the atmosphere was patterned with raging storm clouds, thunder already crackling maliciously above their heads.

Applejack pressed her hoof down on her Stetson, preventing it from being swept off her head by the progressing turbulent wind. She threw her head in the direction of the cyan pegasus and narrowed her eyes. “Rainbow, help me with these darned apples before – “

An ear-splitting boom of thunder caressed the sky, and Applejack’s heart nearly popped out of her taut chest. Rainbow Dash also flinched, gazing up into the sky and shielding her eyes from the meager drops of rain beginning to cascade to earth. It would pour cats and dogs in a matter of time, soaking them to the bone if they didn’t manage to hunker down in nearby shelter soon enough.

“Nevermind!” Applejack squeaked, abandoning her work and running up to Dash. Both their bodies were nearly drenched as the rain grew harder to bear. “Quick, let’s get to the barn!”

Dash nodded and galloped behind Applejack, who led them to safety from the violent storm battering the earth. Once inside the barn, Rainbow Dash shook herself dry while Applejack bolted the door, preventing any more rain from sneaking in. Their heaving breaths shook, and their stringy, matted manes framed their face unflatteringly.

“Lookin’ good, AJ,” Rainbow Dash smirked.

Applejack chuckled heartily. “Not so bad yerself, Rainbow.”

Then, after a few terse moments of silence, the two broke into jovial laughter, stomping their hooves against the barn’s floor and their voices ricocheting through the air. It took a few moments to calm themselves down, but when they finally did, they were clutching their ribs as their laughter died. Even though it was quick, Applejack felt another burst of fervency in the darkest cave of her stomach upon having such a moment with Rainbow Dash. She couldn’t stop grinning like a goof.

Applejack’s had an enormous crush on the brash pegasus ever since she can remember. She realized that it must’ve been a bit after they all came together as a group, Twilight being the glue that binds them together. Before that, however, Applejack didn’t converse a lot with Dash as she does now. Boy, she was glad that changed.

She always admired the way Rainbow Dash flew through the air with such grace and magnificent skill, and even sometimes she would abandon her apple-bucking duties to watch her perform stunning tricks in the sky. She would always think Dash was putting on a show just for her, and that always sent a shower of pleasant shivers up her spine.
But she also admired Rainbow Dash herself. Even if you took away her tough, vivacious exterior, you’d come to find an inner layer that held true loyalty and fervency. She’s honestly the most loyal friend you could ever have, once you look past everything else, even if it’s difficult some of the time.

Besides the inside of Dash, the outside is what really makes Applejack’s heart soar. The cyan pegasus is actually one of the most attractive ponies in Ponyville; the slenderness of her well-built body, the vividness of her beautiful mane, the fiery glow of her piercing magenta eyes, the way she scrunches her eyebrows together in determination – oh, she wanted her. No, she needed her. She craved to hold that pegasus close under a blanket of stars, to kiss her whenever she wanted, to run her hooves through her mane in a blazing moment of passion – oh, how she wanted to touch that mane. To feel how soft it is in her wanting hooves –

“Uh, what are you doing?”

Dash’s questioning voice shook her loose of her lustful thoughts, and she was abruptly startled into the waking world. She blinked her eyes. Her face turned as red as a scarlet apple as she realized what was going on.

Applejack was a few hoofsteps closer to Dash than she remembered her being several moments ago, and her front hoof was extended, reaching towards Dash’s multi-colored mane. Her hoof absolutely craved to run itself through its expanse of flocculent hair, but she yanked it back to her side immediately, throat taut and face burning as hot as Celestia’s sun.
And, she was facing Rainbow Dash’s quizzical expression, the pegasus’ eyes narrowed and seeming to bore a hole straight into her faltering soul. Intimidated, the farm pony took several tiny hoofsteps back, then took a larger one for good measure. She longed to turn away, but her eyes just couldn’t tear themselves apart from those vivid fuschia orbs that stared straight back at her, watching every movement, every heartbeat, every quivering flecks inside her eyes. Applejack swallowed.

“Applejack, are you alright? You’ve been acting kind of strange today.”

“Ah… see, Ah… Well…” Applejack stammered. She halted, forced herself to suck in a refreshing breath, and cleared her throat. “I’m doin’ just fine and dandy, Rainbow. Really. I think it’s just all the humid air getting to me, s’no big deal.”

Well. I guess it really is true when they say the element of honesty is a terrible liar, she thought, groaning internally.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, then dropped it hesitantly. “Well… okay then, if you say so.”

Applejack wiped a sheen of sweat from her forehead. That was a close one.

“So, what should we do, AJ?” Rainbow Dash asked, beginning to wander the barn absent-mindedly. “Doesn’t look like this storm is going to end anytime soon.”

Applejack only shrugged, her mind still reeling from what happened earlier, heart still pounding furiously against her ribcage. She gritted her teeth. She was getting so sick of those feelings raging around inside her.

The only way to make them go away was to tell Dash how she really felt.

Applejack cringed at the thought. She was never good at confessing to other ponies – even though she’s never done it before. She’s never really had a crush, if she can remember correctly. Hell, she didn’t even know she was a fillyfooler until Rainbow Dash decided to stick her pitchfork in and turn her little big planet upside-down.

‘Come on, Applejack,’ she prompts herself. ‘You can do it. It’s only Rainbow Dash… she’s one of your best friends. No big deal.’ She swallows, her throat burning. Heart pounding.

“Hmmm. I guess we could play truth or dare – but it’s no fun with only two of us,” Dash concluded.

Do it.

“…Or maybe we could play hide and seek – wait, again, we need more ponies for that.”

Do it. Now..’

“Well, I guess we could count all the straws in that hay bale over there…”

DO IT.

“…Okay, Applejack, I’m running out of ideas. You got any?”

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT.

“Rainbow Dash I need to tell you something!” Applejack blurted out in a quicker pace than she would’ve appreciated. She clamped her lips shut, her cheeks warming again for the hundredth time that day.

Dash shot her another incredulous look again for the hundredth time that day. “Oh, okay. What’s the matter?”

Applejack puffed out a long, slow breath. It was now or never. She opened her mouth, yet the words that she’s been keeping back so long couldn’t come out. The only sufficing thing that could escape was an embarrassing croak.

“AJ?”

Applejack’s heart twisted uncomfortably. Then, without another thought, she sauntered right up to the pegasus she loved, squeezed her eyes shut, and captured her lips with her own.

Dash’s eyes flew open wide, before sliding closed as Applejack’s lips pressed harder against her own, her heart fit to burst right out of her chest. Her legs were immobile, firmly planted on the ground beneath her, mind paralyzed. A tender wisp of flame kindled in her belly, spreading through her entire body and sending pleasurable tingles everywhere the fire touched.
Applejack’s kiss grew more feverish, and her lips craved more. She traced a gentle hoof underneath Rainbow Dash’s jawline, then ran it underneath her chin, where there it stayed. The fiery tension between their lips grew as their passion progressed.

Then, the kiss broke, leaving the two mares gasping for air. Emerald eyes met magenta for what felt like an eternity.
Applejack expected Dash to slap her. To turn away. To race right into the rain and never talk to her again. But she didn’t.
Instead, the cyan pegasus stepped forward and pressed her lips to Applejack’s once more.

The farm pony was full of bliss and feverish desire, and never wanted the feeling to end – but, Rainbow Dash eventually pulled away, leaving her body craving for more, to feel the caress of Dash’s lips on hers again.

“Rainbow Dash…” Applejack trailed off, struggling to find the right words to express how she felt.

“How long?” the other mare asked quietly.

Applejack turned her head away. “A couple of months.”

Rainbow Dash was silent for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because… Ah…” Applejack stammered. She drew a breath. “Ah was afraid to. Ah didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but Ah also wanted you so much… Ah was torn, Rainbow.”

Another curtain of silence was draped between them, leaving the two ponies with their thoughts. Rainbow Dash sat on her haunches, avoiding her friend’s eyes. The tension in the air was close to the point of unbearable.

“I was, too,” she finally whispered.

Applejack snapped her head up, eyes riveting on the motionless pegasus before her. She noticed a small gleam in her magenta eyes and a tiny smirk playing on her lips, so small it was nearly invisible. “Wait, y-you mean you felt the same way?” she stammered incredulously, the words falling in a big blob on her tongue.

Rainbow Dash nodded. Her eyes seemed to be laughing. In a matter of seconds, her mouth was laughing too. “Y-y-you should see th-th-the look on your f-face! Ahaha!” She screamed in mirth, wiping a loose tear away from her eye.

“Wait a pony-pickin’ minute here,” Applejack said, piecing together the puzzle. “Y-you mean you knew all along I had
feelings for ya?! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because,” Dash said, her laughter beginning to die in her chest. “It was cute to see you get upset over stuff and going all out to smooth us the right way!”

Applejack blushed. “You mean, you annoyed me on purpose?”

“Yeah. At first it was funny, because it was obvious I was getting on your nerves, but I knew you liked me anyway. But then I kind of started…to…” Rainbow Dash mumbled the last bit quietly to herself. Applejack had to strain her ears to catch the last bit, yet she couldn’t seem to hear it.

“What was that, Sugarcube?”

Another mumble.

“Sorry, couldja say that again?”

Another mumble.

“Rainbow, this isn’t really workin’ for –“

“I kind of started to fall in love with you!” the cyan pegasus blurted out. Suddenly, her coat colour became unknown as her face turned a deep shade of crimson.

Applejack’s heart skipped a beat. A stretched, meaningful grin formed on her face. She leaned forward before indulging herself in another long, innocent kiss with the mare she’s sought for this entire time.

The air around them grew more feverish with every passing second, and soon enough, Applejack had Dash pressed up against the wall of the barn, hooves running up and down, diagonally, or across the other’s body, leaving a sparking trail of fire in their wake.

They couldn’t be more at peace, even if the weather outside was gloomy and unforgiving.

…Although, next time when they’re alone, they may want to choose another place to spend some time alone.

Because barns reek. A lot.

Author's Note:

I'm not necessarily satisfied with the result, but it's midnight here, so. I'm tired, and I have lots of studying to do. Maybe I should get a co-writer, and an editor.

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Comments ( 17 )

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Drakkith

Drakkith #1 · Jun 9th, 2013 · · ·

Perhaps a little cliche and overdone (this type of story I mean, not your specific idea of them in a barn when it rains), but I think your writing was well done.
It's like pounding nails in my brain when I try to write out a coherent story.

artofwar77

artofwar77 #2 · Jun 9th, 2013 · 2 · ·

Though I do not feel it should have those 2 dislikes and nothing else, there are areas worth improving.

Simple (and easy to fix, don't worry) grammar errors, like mismatched subject & verb, could be found all throughout the writing.
There were occasional shifts in tense, sometimes even within a single sentence.
The narration seemed to switch between a sort of "Applejack voice" and "external spectator voice" with no recognizable pattern, changing from impartial narration to addressing a hypothetical "you" seemingly at a whim.

You were very liberal with descriptive metaphors and phrases. Some of them were well-executed and helped to illustrate a scene, like your phrasing of "the violent storm battering the earth". Then there were some that were less successful and distracted from the story, like your describing the "ear-splitting boom of thunder" (an excellent description on its own) as having "caressed the sky" (a poor match for the previous description).

The dialogue Applejack and Rainbow shared was written well enough to clearly understand who spoke a particular line even in the absence of speaker tags, but there there were moments where the two felt out of character in both word and behavior.
(This is somewhat understandable, since there is no canon benchmark against which to measure either Applejack's or Rainbow's personality with respect to romance.)

I very much enjoyed the writing itself (your decision to place commas and periods in certain places, etc.); it was very good at controlling the pace at which the story reads and the "cadence" of how Applejack and Rainbow speak and think. This helped portray both their differences in character and their moods at a given moment.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

EDIT:
It seems this story now boasts a rather more reasonable proportion of 10 likes out of 75 views. Well done.

Salad king

Salad king #3 · Jun 9th, 2013 · · ·

The whole barn and strom has been done before but this was still great to read, deffinatly doesnt deserve those dislikes

carnivale

carnivale #4 · Jun 9th, 2013 · · ·

2696731 Thank you for that constructive criticism. Yes, it seemed that while editing I missed a few details... oh well. Everyone makes mistakes.
I know I could have done better, but writing takes practice, and I'm not very good at it. But I really appreciate the effort you put into your comment.

FluttershySanji

FluttershySanji #5 · Jun 10th, 2013 · · ·

This fic was short but put together well for someone tired while writing this. But there was a few moments that felt like a complete romance novel but none the less enjoyable. Also I do agree with bstreetninja on some parts with AJ and Dash out of character but can't really blame him...everyones a critic eh heh heh... thx for the good read tho.