My name is hunter! and i love you!!!!! Derpy is my favorite pony. and yea... HI :D
20 years have passed in Ponyville and all the ponies have gone through some changes. Some are married with fillies and colts of their own and others have done some major things with their lives. This story follow a colt by the name of Derpy jr, and his struggles to fit in and make friends.
(I suggest reading it in dark, so you can see the pinkie talk easier.)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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This is my first attempt ever at a FimFiction, so be gentle :P any and all suggestions are welcomed!
Hey man, really good read. It requires some more proof reading but man, this is already getting me addicted, thanks for the little advertisment at the begining, can't wait for chapter 1, try make the chapters 3,000 words each minimum, it makes for a much longer read and will satisfy the people more, plus you can do so much more with 3,000 words, it is so much fun.
216626 thank you! yea im going to plan on at least 3000 though it will be challanging since this is the longest thing i wrote ever :P. and i have someone proofreading it.
how did you like the pinkie breaking the 4th wall?
Very good sentence structure. it is often rare to find a writer with actual skill when it comes to grammar. I'll track this and follow you my good man.
This is going to be a major tip for your editing. Go to Microsoft Word and take your entire chapter and copy it onto the document. Then press spell check and watch the magic happen. Be careful for pony spelling, so just pick and choose and when you come up to something that will be spelled often. Just add it to the dictionary. Also don't put " in between sentences if the character is still going to talk. If he continue to talk just don't do anything and continue writing till the character stops. Then add the ".
But this is still awesome
gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/mlp-twilight-book-fort-6007_preview.jpg
221850 haha oh wow thanks! i actually write it in word first im just bad with my grammar rules haha
This is getting interesting.
Thank you
I think he's going to a school for special needs. He can definitely work with no wing. Even if he's disabled I'm sure the Equestrian's with Disabilities act covers him.
240382 haha dont worry youll see what happens in the next chapter! mwahahahah!!!!
your from funnyjunk right?
243208 haha yes i am
245361
you are the person who brought me here =D good job keep it up with this and fj
245843 WOO! haha i will i just started chapter 4 i hope to have it finished and edited by tomorrow night. And i will keep posting no matter what the haters say!
246124
Haters gonna hate.
Ponies gonna pwn.
Keep em' coming my good sir, I shall be reading them soon :3 (I am just very busy, but I promise I will, I have another 2 books coming out
)
256149 bahahah XD i cant wait for em!
Twilight learned to troll. Like teacher like student.
272232 Trololololo
Still winning my good mare.
278227
WEEEEW!
216751 wait. you have someone proofreading it? i dont mean anything, but he's horrable. did he proof the prologue? please tell me he didn't, cause all i think he did was correct spelling. there's still a lot of marks that i see need to be there, like commas, punctuation marks, apostraphees, etc.
(havent read chap. 1 yet)
221808 wow who do you hang with? rare? really? let me tell you i only know a few guys that really need grammar help. this is skill here, there just needs a bit of punctuation marks.
216751 just read chap. 2. yeah Daxter was right. it IS hard finding good grammer people. sorry, but your proofer failed.
[still liked though]
296528 haha nope the prologue was just me :( i suck
296528 haha nope the prologue was just me :( i suck 296543 haha XD it should get better as you go. If you take away the grammar its good right?
296543 also if you want you are more than welcomed to edit any of the chapters
297630 oh? so only the prologue you did? wow your spell check guy really isnt good
I forgot to comment on this awesome story! WHAT!?
I read this story last week (I finished the pebble then) I think it was last week anyway, all I know is that I actually love this story, so much to the extent I made my story interwind it in my head
I am amazed at your writing style, but I must say that it needs to more work on it, as some parts you KIND OF messed up on, NOT al ot, it is perfect but still, bit more descriptive and it will be a 11/10, it's a 10/10 right now
311573why thank ya sur!
NEW CHAPTER PLEASEEEE.
337962 making final touches as we speak!
FIRST. FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS STORY. WUB WUB WUB!
338251 LAWL!
338260
Great chapter, loved it all, raises a few questions, I sent you a message about them, still though amazing chapter, I love it. A bit more descriptive will make it an 10/10!
good like always =)
this is the only story so far that has pinkie helps write a little bit, that ive read
Only read up to chapter 3, and I can tell you this, I am hooked. Keep it up.
oh jeez thanks!!! :3
wow pinkie ather best.... sorry for mispellngs my keyboard is acting like Derpy and iliterally have to press the key at least twice for theleter/number/symbol topop up..keep it up
Forth wall? What's that?
Hmm.. Pinky talking about herself?
Pink-seption
Revenge, must be extracted