Being a Derpy

by derpystorytime

Chapter 7: Class

Thank you to Whynot707, Vitaexdet, Torllin, and of course Pinkie Pie.

“Uh Gem, what are you doing here?”DP was sitting up still sore from the attack last night.

“Oh well twilight is here instead of teaching, so she told me about what happened and told me to meet her here, so I’m here.” Gem suddenly teleported to his side—almost causing DP to fall out of the bed.

“Ah! Totally forgot you could teleport.”

“Ha-ha yea… Holy Celestia you look like rotten apples!”

“Oh my thank you for your support,” DP replied sarcastically. “What would I do without you?”

“I wouldn’t want to meet the pony who had to find out,” she smiled. “But seriously what happened, who do I have to turn into hay?”

“I…” He got vivid images of the mysterious pony hitting him repeatedly with his hooves. “I was just on my way home from Sweet Apple Acres and I decided to take a shortcut through some alleys…” The images came back causing his bruises to start hurting. “Some ponies stopped me and I… I don’t know… it was all a blur. I passed out and woke up here.” Tears were forming in Gems’ eyes.

“That’s terrible! And to think it happened in Ponyville of all places!” “How could anypony do that?”

“I don’t know, but I’m starting to realize there is a much darker world out there. Oh are my parents here?”

“Oh, yes your mom is asleep. Apparently she was up all night at your bedside after the doctors patched you up.”

“And my dad?”

“Oh, he is talking to twilight outside.”

“Could you go get him?”

“Of course, oh and DP I’m glad you’re okay,” Gem smiled and ran out the door. Gem ran into the hallway and told Derpy and Twilight that DP was up. They both rushed into the room forgetting all about the past out Pinkie behind. Derpy being the caring father bombarded DP with questions, but DP could only answer what he remembered which wasn’t a lot.

DP was eventually allowed to leave the hospital and went home with his parents. Twilight and Gem, after making sure DP was well, went back to her school. The Twins brought the homework that DP missed to his house and helped him study it. Dashter came later in the day after her practice and kept talking about all the things she was going to do to the ponies that hurt him. All of this was just a blur in DPs’ eyes. He was stuck trying to remember what happened, but more importantly he thought he forgot about talking to his mom about the party. After Dashter went home he finally asked his mom.

“Hey m-mom I keep forgetting to ask you something.” DP was at the kitchen table eating the gumdrop salad his mom had made him. Pinkie was cleaning some pots and pans in the sink.

“Yes sweetie what can I do for ya buddy old pal Oh wait before you ask did you do all your homework?” DP just sighed.

“Yes I d-did.”

“Oki doki loki! What did you need to ask?” Pinkie suddenly was sitting at the table in front of him, while the dishes were still washing themselves.

“I wanted to h-have a party n-next Tuesday, with D-Dashter, Gem, and A-Applecake and A-Apple Jam. Like right a-after I got h-home from twilights.”

“Oh…My…Gosh…” She ran and grabbed him in her hooves and started to shake him. “That’s like the greatest most spectacular idea ever! I would love to do that,” she finally stopped shaking him and set him back down at the table. “Now finish your food,” she smiled and walked back to the self cleaning pans. Still trying to get his bearings DP was making a vain attempt to make everything around him stop shaking.

“T-thanks m-mom,” his reply sounded like he was talking into a fan. After he was done eating he went and took a bath. After the bath he was standing in front of his mirror looking at his reflection. His normally poofy yellow hair was damp and was hanging down his face; his light pink coat was still dripping. “Why c-cant you be normal,” he said to his reflection expecting a reply. “You c-can’t talk right half the t-time and you can’t f-fly,” his voice was getting louder.

“Hey son, having a little argument I see… are you winning at least?” DP turned to see his dad standing in the doorway his eyes in his usual cross eyed state and a big smile on his face. DP just gave him a death look. “Hey I’m just kidding, listen I heard what you were saying. Follow me son,” Derpy turned and started walking away and DP reluctantly followed. Derpy led him to his bedroom. They walked past the messy bed and the kerfuffle of balloons that were all over the floor. “In here,” Derpy opened the closet and went in. A moment later he returned with a box in his mouth. “Look in here,” he said pushing the box towards DP. Sighing DP opened the box and look inside it. To his surprise the box was full of letters.

“What a-are these?”

“Just read them,” Derpy smiled. DP picked up the first letter and began to read it.

“Why don’t you go back home to don’t belong in flying school you are a disgrace of a pegasus.”

“Dad w-what are these?”

“Just read the next one.” DP did as told and picked up the next one.

“You ruined everything you failure. If you cost us another game we are going to kick your flank.” DP was confused, but picked up the next one.

“This is a reply to that joke of a love letter you gave me. No, no I will not go to the dance with you. I would never get that close to you. You are a freak and I don’t want to catch that weird eye thing you have. Do yourself a favor and fly into a dragon’s lair.” DP finally understood what he was reading.

“Dad t-these are l-letters to you.”

“Yup everyone,” he said while picking up the box and pouring out the mass of letters that were still in it.

“Why… I d-don’t understand.”

“You see, I keep all these letters as a reminder of what made me into the pony I am today. No pony is perfect DP, I mean I’m close, but still not perfect,” he began laughing. “You’re not alone like I was DP, I’m here and your mom is here and we love you.”

“Yup we sure do!” Pinkie yelled out grabbing both of her boys in a group hug.

“Pinkie enough…We need to breath,” Derpy manage to say.

“He-he sorry,” pinkie said snorting.

“I l-love you m-mom and dad, b-but can you l-bet me go I need s-some sleep.”

“Of course honey! But first take this balloon with you,” pinkie finally let go of Derpy and DP and grabbed a pink balloon and gave it to DP.

“Okay…s-sure mom.” DP grabbed the balloon and headed to his room. He lay in his bed staring up at the balloon floating above him. “I do have a g-great life,” he smiled at the balloon before drifting off to sleep.

HEY READERS! Hunter is asleep so I’d thought I would fill ya in to what has happened ha-ha. Isn’t that exciting!? Oki doki loki, so the next day was boring blah blah went to school…Oh! Dashter came over, but was late due to some junior Wonderbolt thingy I don’t remember… Oh we had cake, it was really good *snort* he-he. Derpy broke a lamp, which was funny. And yeah… that happened the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Oh I totally have like the best party planned out for DP it will be amazing! I think that’s where we should start the day of the PARTAY!!! Ugh Pinkie seriously? I’m sleeping what…You skipped all the way to Tuesday… I saw your notes and they weren’t fun! Now this party is fun! So go on start writing go go go! Fine…

It was the day of the party, but DP didn’t care, he laid under his covers trying to block out what was to come. “It’s Tuesday, Tuesday everypony up it’s Tuesday!” DPs’ hooves went straight to his ears trying to block out the wretched Noise that he heard every morning from his mom. It was too much to handle, he had to give in.

“I’m up…Just…s-stop please,” DP had his hoof covering Pinkies mouth, but she was still trying to mumble out the words. “Look I’m o-out if bed, so y-you can stop…p-please.”

“Fine, you know you never let me finish the song,” Pinkies hair deflated and she turned to walk away. DP just sighed to himself

“F-fine, go ahead and finish it,” DP said with regret. Pinkies hair instantly poofed back up and she started to sing. *Scene missing due to the fact even ponified no one should get that song in their heads*

“Thank you! You’re the best,” Pinkie hugged DP and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “Now grab your saddle bag and a cupcake to go. I don’t want you being late again. Cheerilee said you’ll get detention if you are late again.”

“I know I k-know,” DP hurried downstairs and in a single chomp ate his cupcake. He hurriedly went out the door with his saddlebag in his mouth. He ran down the bustling streets dodging ponies left and right. His eyes caught the alleyway for a split second. He still hasn’t remembered all that happened in those alleys a week ago, and he was glad he didn’t. “Bah,” is the only sound he let out. He finally got to the school and busted through the door just as the bell rang.

“Ah, DP I see you’re on time for once,” DP looked up from the floor to see Ms. Cheerilee standing over him. DP just smiled and squeed before slowly backing up to his seat in the back next to the twins.

“Nice timing partner,” Applecake said nudging DPs shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m good like that,” he smiled back.

“Psh I’ve seen better,” Apple Jam spoke up.

“Oh shut it you fool,” she said smacking him in the back of the head.

“Hey quiet down back there,” Cheerilee yelled out. The three fillies sunk into their chairs, satisfied Cheerilee went back to her lesson.

“We are real excited for your party tonight,” Apple Cake whispered.

“Ha, yeah, it should be fu…” Cheerilee was standing over DP tapping her front hoof to the ground.

“Are you ponies done interrupting me?” she asked while glaring at all three ponies.

“Yes Ms. Cheerilee,” they all replied in unison.

“Good, because you will have plenty of time to talk in detention.”

“W-what, no… I have a m-meeting with Twilight right after school.”

“Well, the mighty twilight can come take it up with me if it’s a problem, but since that isn’t going to happen detention it is,” she just smiled and went back to the front of the class.

“Feathers,” DP said under his breath as she walked away. The rest of the class dragged on for what seems like hours, Cheerilee went on about her times in the 80’s saying how those were the glory days, and how you just don’t here good music like that anymore. She even called out Vinyl Scratch, but seeing that some of the students were falling asleep she got to her lesson.

“Okay class today we are going to talk about Discord.”Cheerilee pulled down a screen reveling a picture Discord. “You see class Discord was banished long ago by Celestia and Luna, they turned him into stone with the elements of harmony, and put him in her garden, so they could keep watch over him, but many years later he was able to break out of his rock prison.” She failed to mention that it was some of her students, which broke the spell over him on a field trip she took the class on. “Luckily the new keepers of the elements; Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy used the elements and defeated him once more. Hearing their moms name Applecake and Apple Jam cheered.

“Yeah that’s our momma! Oh DP your mom too,” Applecake said with a smile.

“Yes yes, we all know who your mom is, no need to gloat. No…” Her voice was cut off by the bell. “Oh it seems we are out of time. Make sure you pick up the worksheet I put on my desk, it’s your homework for the night.” She was soon mobbed by fillies all fighting to grab a paper, so they could be the first to leave. Seconds later all the fillies were out of the classroom…all but three that is; DP, Applecake, and Apple Jam still sat in their seats moping.

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do with you three. It was bad enough when it was just you two, but now DP you’re in on it too.

“Not my fault ma’am, Applecake started it,” Apple Jam pleaded.

“I did no such thing you scoundrel. Accuse me again and yall will meet my hooves the Dixie Mares!”

“Bring it you sack of apples!” Apple Jam yelled out before being tackled by Applecake.

“Now…Guys…Stop…” The teachers’ voice went unheard as the twins went each other. DP just sat there watching the whole charade sighing. “I will call Applejack,” the teacher finally blurted out. Fearing their moms scorn they instantly stopped, but not before Applecake got in one last swipe to Apple Jams head.

“Ow, teacher did yall see that I was assaulted I demand a lawyer and what not!”

“Ugh, I don’t get paid enough bits for this.” Cheerilee ignored the colt and went to her desk.

“Ms. C-Cheerilee I really n-need to go,” DP finally spoke.

“Listen DP, unless Twilight magically teleports right here and tells me herself I can’t let yo-” Her voice was cut off by a loud explosion and a blinding light appearing in the classroom. Papers went flying all over the place. The twins clung to each other with their eyes closed. When the light finally subsided a purple unicorn stood with a much smaller unicorn at her side.

“Well hello Ms. Cheerilee it has been awhile hasn’t it.”

“Uh…Twilight…good, err I mean yes… yes it has.” Twilight turned to see DP grinning at his desk.

“I see somepony is in trouble,” she snickered. “I’m sorry, but I need to take DP with me now. We have a special class to get to.”

“Yeah, hurry up ya slowpoke,” Gem chimed in. DP got straight out of his desk and ran to stand beside Twilight and Gem.

“I’m sorry about this, but these are very secretive important classes, but I’m sure he will get in trouble again soon,” she smiled before teleporting again. Cheerilee just stood there with her mouth gaped open, but finally something broke her paralysis.

“Um, I need to go clean myself after that ma’am.”

“Oh my Celestia, Apple Jam went and soiled himself Ms. Cheerilee!”

“Not enough bits at all.” Was all she said.

Seconds later DP was standing in Twilights office.

“Well that was fun,” Twilight smiled. “Are you hungry DP?”

“Uh a-actually yes.” Twilights’ horn began to glow and a plate of grain bars appeared on a table in front of them.

“Hey, if you could do that than why did you make me get food last time I was here?” Twilight just smiled at her and stuffed a grain bar in her mouth.

“Sorry mouth’s is full,” she said with a mouthful of grain. Swallowing she asked “So, DP do you care if Gem is here or would you like to do this alone?”

“S-She can stay,” he smiled. Gem immediately yelled out and gave DP a hug. “Gem my wing.”

“Oops, I forgot… ha-ha sorry.”

“Ok, enough you two, we need to get down to some business.” The trio sat around a table and twilight pulled out some cards from some container. “Okay DP I want you to repeat what’s on these cards.” DP began trying to read the sentence on the first card.

“S-Sally sells s-saddle bags by the s-sweet s-sugars-shop.” He was annoyed how many times he stuttered.

“Good, now say it again please.” DP once again said the line, but still stuttered at all the words. “Now DP don’t get angry just focus and do it again please.” About halfway through the sentence he messed up on sweet shops and just yelled out and swiped the card off the table.

“I c-can’t do it,” he said with an angry tone in his voice.

“DP, yes you can, I believe in you. Don’t let your anger get the best of you; an angry mind is a narrow mind.” She levitated the card back up and set it down in front of him. “Now please this time; relax, breathe, and count to three.” DP looked down at the card and slowly started to breath and count to himself.

“One…two…three… Sally s-sales saddle bags by the s-sweet shop.”

“Excellent DP, you see what you can do with a calm mind?” she smiled at him. Suddenly her door busted open and a crimson stallion stood in the office.

“Twilight we have an emergency,” the crimson stallion said with fear in his voice.

“What is it Firebane?” Twilight got up from the table and ran over

“Uh, well… it seems Trixie accidently summoned an Ursa Minor and is having some trouble dealing with it.”

“Ugh again? Okay I’ll be right there.” Twilight turned to DP and Gem. “I’m sorry to cut our session short, but it seems I have an issue to deal with. I hope its okay if I teleport you both home.”

“Yes,” Both fillies said in unison.

“Okay, splendid, I know you have that party today DP so ill just teleport you both there. Now stand together.” Gem hopped next to DP and put her hoof around his neck.

“We’re ready,” she giggled. Twilight’s horn grew bright and a bubble engulfed the two fillies. A second later they were both gone.

“Okay, let’s go fix Trixies mess…again.” Twilight and Firebane ran out to go fight the Ursa Minor. When DP opened his eyes he saw that he was in his kitchen with gem still wrapped around his neck. He looked around the room and took notice to a fast approaching pink blur.

“Oh n…”

Oh gosh I wonder what hit him. Guess you’ll have to wait in see. NO! You take FORREVUUURRRR to write! I was busy. I will be better don’t worry. Besides don’t you have a party to plan? Oh no!! Much better, thank you for reading see you sexy things next time ;)

Comments

[Derpintena]

good like always =)

this is the only story so far that has pinkie helps write a little bit, that ive read

[derpystorytime]

Pinkie is the best pony and thank you!400164

[imgonenow]

Only read up to chapter 3, and I can tell you this, I am hooked. Keep it up.

[derpystorytime]

oh jeez thanks!!! :3