• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 15th, 2012

Zoom Star

Hey guys, I registered because I really wanted to start writing fanfic for MLP. I am a huge brony, and am proud to be one.


When three best friends discover a portal inside a mystical rock, they find themselves in Ponyville, and have become ponies! What adventures will they get up to with their new friends in Ponyville, and more importantly, will they get back?

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 18 )

This story deserves 5stars, a master piece of a beginnign.. I SHOULDA BROUGHT NACHOS TO EAT WHILE I READ THIS!

This story is great, but I feel that I will have to take the role as the Devil's advocate here.
Overall, the dialogue seems too... forced, and the story is going too fast. I think that you should have
devoted more than a couple paragraphs into the Cloudsdale section, as I had no idea what the purpose of going to their was
in the first place. Like the first guy said, more detail is what is needed overall. I'm not very impressed with the character development either.
I think you should have given a little more detail of when they were still on Earth. Apart from these, I noticed few grammatical mistakes overall.
I believe I only saw a couple.
"Eventually, (after much nagging and begging) Sweet Apple Acres." That is one.
and the other two were mainly typos more than grammatical mistakes. You wrote GInger Snap instead of Ginger Snap twice I believe.

So far, I would have to give it a 3.5/5. I am interested on where this goes, however. Whatever you do, DON'T QUIT!

Thanks for the support guys. I realise I may have rushed bits, and their may be a few typos in there, seeing as it was my first fanfic. I'll see what I can do to fix those errors that were pointed out, and overall, ill make sure to add more detail where it is needed in the future. I do plan on continuing this story, and its good that you guys like it. I do have to say though, this is the first chapter, so character development was only a minority because I wanted to intorduce everypony in it. There will be a lot more development in the future though. Once again, thanks for the support. :pinkiehappy:

:D i love being a part of this :3

Like it. Love it. Gotta have it!
Wow, I guess Cold Stone does come in handy sometimes. :twilightsheepish: :facehoof:

I don't know if this is just me, but Zoom Star as almost like my OC Star Streak from my stiry A New Point of View, even their cutie marks are the same, but never the less I like this story and I would like to read more please.



Make me and why should I?
wait what are taking about here anyway?


Really? I haven't read too many fanfics, and I would never plagarise. I guess great minds think alike. I'm glad you liked it though.

This, is BEAST!
I hope for more OC's, speaking of that I was wondering.
Plan on any fighting scenes or any..kissing, romance, making out? I mean I can sense something will on with you and someone else with that group,

Forgot if your all mares or stallions, or half or 1/2 2/1


Let me answer all your questions.
1. Zoom Star is a Stallion, and the two Gingers are Mares.
2. I'm not sure if I will add more OCs to this story, but it hasn't finished yet, so it will be thought through in the future.
3. As this is not a "clop" fic, and is rated Everyone, I doubt any romantic interactions will occur. Fighting probably wont be in there either but, you never know.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you will continue to read it as it develops. :pinkiehappy:

A clop fic involes sex and rape, kissing does not envolve clop...:facehoof:

What the matter with a simple kiss anyway? :rainbowlaugh:
And hell yes I will continue reading it


Well yes that is true, but mainly because it isn't rated Teen, so it probably won't have anything romantic in it. I'm sorry if this dissapoints you, I'm just no good at writing romance. Perhaps someday I'll figure it out.


If you do end up putting romance in though i will happily volunteer :rainbowkiss:

I understand, If you do happen to put romance, the story will be much more intresting, considering jealousy might come along if your character choses one of them instead of the other.
I'm sure one of your friends who is part of your story is happy to give you some ways of a simple kiss.
I love jealousy, it drives people to do stupid things.
Neither the less, hell yes will I be reading this.

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