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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Then I don't care to tell you why this premise is overused.
dat grammar
I...I don't know what to say.
hmmmm lets see were this is going
The title sounds like teenager that thinks he's a satanist because life Isn't what he thought it would be.
2553395 your half right on that.
2553577 A nice shitfic to settle on... THANKS DUDE
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/453/019/d18.jpg
2553231
Your user name matches that perfectly.
2553896
Umm, thanks I guess?
no offence dude but you need to work on this man for starters you rushed into not even giving us a good description of the chatater and you shift from 1st to 3rd person view every other sentence at times so if anything you have a semi decent fondashen for a story but needs work
let me now if ya neede a bta I know a guy
Eh, needs a little work. Or a lot of work
~SWAG
Discord you're already in a cave outside of Equestria goddamn
2554347
2555409 how is that funny
2555435
You're telling this guy to improve his writing. It's completely fine, however, your own writing sucks, dude. In terms of grammar and stuff. Don't mean to sound like a dick, or anything. It's just funny.
2555479 fair enough dude I am just trying to help man and I don't see you offering any constructive criticism
2555494
My only advice to the author at this point - take this abomination down before Prince Solstice finds it.
Another wangsty teen in Equestria, seriously. From the very beginning he tells us that he DOESN'T CARE. If he doesn't, then why should I?
Celestia is running out of burial territory for wangsty teenagers, red and black alicorns and U.S marines. She'll have to build a crematorium if this keeps up.
Glad to know you don't care. Saves me the trouble of having to actually read your story.
2555511 from my perspective it is his choice and dude I agree with you their are a few to many of those story but the problem isn't how many are just how much work is put into it which in some case is much but their are diamonds in this here coal mine
Ok annoying downvotes asides, continue this cuz I'm certainly liking this for the lulz....
shnot bad but you need to work on descriptions and dialog.
2566762 yeah I suck at that Stories are my weak point I'm only good at drawing but that's about it.
2567263 I know some guy who might be willing to beta read
2567320 thank you.
2567436 just give me a few days to look throe my contacts and see who would be willing
i like it i see great potential in this
My interest has been peaked
mot bad but I still notice lack describing a mutude of things for ex the guards amour and Luna and Queen Helga but other wise I can see improvements and a word to the wise you may want to re due the begging because the only thing that gives you more thumbs down then blocky and solid story are a very shitty begging and you have adequate story flow but you may want to slow down a bit to improve the story and make ch longer unless you have enough free time to crack out ch like this every 2 weeks
Dude......Awesome.........when is next chapter because waiting really sucks
2603191I know how you feel and I'm already working on it.
2603222
did pinkie hack your computer?
soon?
I have no computer just a kindle fire.
2650541
2651226
lol
I might be a wangsty teenager my self but honestly? I feel that there are more stupid ass bronies going to equestria desperate virgin fanfics then there are actually back storied wangtsy teenagers who don't give a fuck, land in griffonia or wherever the fuck and immediately fuck dj pon3 or something like that. seriously at least he is original and didnt fucking wake up in a forest with rainbow dash just chillin in the sky fuck that
.
after looking over this I think I said the f word to many times.... maybe I was offended?
MOAR
this story is good so could you... I don't know,
Update Already
Tactical 'Whaaa? Inbound! Its all over!
2715956 agreed, and also, I was wondering...
OY! AUTHOR! WHAT ABOUT THE OC I GAVE YOU!
2923695
honestly its been so long since there has been an update that I forgot about this story entirely so thanks for commenting on my comment and reminding me of this story but seeing that there is still no update i'll probably forget again
2923695 sorry been busy with packing for the air force.
2937479
your in the air force?
now its pretty obvious why this story had no updates
2937479 GOOD LUCK DUDE I SALUTE YOU..... ps fucken update already
I wonder what was under that blanket?
hope this story isn't dead and that you'll add some more chapters soon
Write moar
Update please?
When's the update coming up
When's the update coming up