• Member Since 20th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen May 2nd, 2017

Lightning Shield


T

War is about to begin in Equestria. Even before the war even began there were lives lost. Blade Shield's parents were one of them making him the only survivor.

Shimmering Emerald a.k.a The Stare of Death is man who has never been questioned in the Empire. Just a mere stare from him can kill someone unlucky enough to cross him. So, had did a man with this reputation become the adviser of the Empire.

Lightning Storm has been living on his own ever since he was eight. Right after he was blamed for his father and ever since then he has been trying to live past that day. His own mother hates him and never wants to see him.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 5 )

Wati, wait, wait... befor I get somthing wrong I ask: He is a HUMAN with a HORN and MAGIC?

2490622 Yes he does have a horn and magic. Its like the show but they're humans instead of ponies and there is a lot of violence.

2490727

Ooooohh. Now I get it :twilightsheepish: I hope the Next chapter is coming fast :twilightsmile:

I won't downvote, but if you can, you should really find a proofreader/editor. Your spelling isn't too bad, but the grammar is a mess, there are a lot of missing words, inconsistent spellings, and awkward phrasing. Also, the short description is unintelligible without some loose interpretation. A good editor should be able to help with all of those things, and it would be very beneficial.

This is great, but I found two things wrong with it.

1) Near about the last quarter of the story I couldn't understand who was talking AT ALL.

2) Good grammar, but going bad I found a lot of missing Punctuation.

Still continue it's a good solid plot and very dark just how I like it.

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