The Lighter Side of. . . Human in Equestria

by pjabrony

Chapter 1

Tom and Bob whooped and hollered as the drumbeat signaled the end credits of “Sweet and Elite.”

“Aww, yeah!” said Tom. “Rarity is so the best pony!”

“No way!” Bob replied. “Applejack is best pony! She’d never even think of selling out her friends like Rarity did.”

“But she didn’t go through with it. Anypony can not feel temptation, but to feel it and own up to your best friends anyway, that’s real friendship.”

“Whatever, dude. Let’s watch ‘Last Roundup’ next.”

“I was thinking ‘Suited for Success.’”

“We just saw a Rarity ep! I want AJ!”

“There’s plenty of AJ in ‘Suited for Success.’ It’s a Mane Six episode.”

“It’s a Rarity episode,” Bob said, getting annoyed. “I think you just like her because the writers named her rock after you. Anyway, put on ‘Applebuck Season.’ We can try to see if it’s really Derpy who’s saying, ‘Muffins.’”

“Let’s do ‘Sisterhooves Social.’ That’ll have enough for both of us.”

“Fine.”

Tom rapid-fire clicked his mouse to cue up the episode the bronies had agreed upon. Ten minutes later Bob was whooping it up again as Applejack and Apple Bloom trained for the social.

“Man, ponies have the life! No humdrum school and annoying parents. They really like their families. I wish I could live in Ponyville!”

“What brony doesn’t?” said Tom. “I’d give anything to live in Ponyville!”

Just then the picture on the screen went all wonky, then there was a sound like a thunderclap and a ten-foot dimensional rift opened up in the room, blowing up the computer. Through the rift stepped Princess Celestia herself.

“Your voices have carried across the gap between worlds. Would you two fine young lads really like to live in the town of Ponyville?”

Both bronies had been knocked back, but quickly recovered. “For really real?” said Bob.

“Quite,” said the princess. “We actually have two places where some ‘bron-i’ would be welcome to stay. One can go to Sweet Apple Acres, and another is requested for Carousel Boutique.”

The two boys turned to each other and held out their fists. “EPIC BRO-HOOF!”

The princess smiled. “Quickly now, through the rift.”

And as quick as they could Bob and Tom leaped through the hole.

******

Rarity trotted up to an outside table at the local café, where Applejack was already seated. “Darling, so wonderful to see you again.”

“Darn tootin’! How’s that Tom workin’ out for ya?”

“Oh, he’s simply divine! And I see you’ve got Bob coming along quite nicely. How are you today, Bob?”

Bob looked over at Appplejack. The earth pony said, “Go on, you can answer her.” But he just looked down at his feet. Applejack took hold of a long leather lead in her mouth and gave a hard tug. Bob yelped.

“Ah do declare, sometimes these human slaves ain’t got no more brains than a bale o’ hay! Go on and speak, Bob.”

“Sorry, Mistress Applejack. I’m quite well, Miss Rarity.”

“Well, that’s good, Bob. You know, AJ, sometimes there are advantages to being a unicorn. When Tom gets ornery I can just use magic on him.” She lifted a foreleg to show a four-inch-tall Tom hanging on for dear life. “Now, Tom, I’ll restore you temporarily so you can go get Applejack’s and my drinks. But put too much sugar in my tea again and I’m putting you in with Opalescence when we get home!”

A tiny voice that could barely be heard cried, “No, please Mistress Rarity! I’ll be good.”

Applejack and Rarity chuckled. The ponies of Ponyville really did have the life.

Comments

[bucknorris]

[WorldWalker128]

Wow. Sucks to be them.

[Glare]

i lol'd

[Streamline]

They must not think that humans are similar enough in mind to ponies. That some mighty good conditioning.

[Crowquill Symphony]

Well Played good sir... Well Played.

[Adithompson]

*head falls on keyboard* sniff hnnnnnnnnng WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????sniff

[CheeseDeluxe]

My juice.

My juice. My monitor.

You monster.

The only things that need to be fixed are weird grammar mistakes scattered about.

4/5.

[Speven Dillberg]

I-I-I what?

[Beige]

One of the greatest one-shots I've ever read

[nonameguy0010]

Who the hell ruins the natural flavor of tea (or coffee for that matter) by putting sugar in it?! Fuck you Rarity!
This was... erm... an interesting twist though I doubt that Tom or Bob (Super generic names.. lol) would care.

[Jack Kellar]

... ah, rut.
5 moustaches for you, good sir. Well played.

[Mr AJ]

Wow. Just wow.
That's a side of being a brony that most haven't even considered.

[Levana]

If Celestia (or any other pony, I might add) appears near me, and whichever pony it is asks me if that, I'll ask, "On what condition?"

[Genjen]

I usually don't dignify anything less than 2k words long with a read through but this peaked my interest. Short and humorous with a witty punch line. Nice little gag ficlette you have here.

[Red Bomber]

I should've known it was Blatent Lies in the title, but it was pretty funny.

[Kuroyami Fukaikuro]

I Lol'ed for five minutes.
Seriously.
Holy shit, that was funny.

[AliCentaur Br0ny]

Be careful what you wish for.
Sometimes I guess that it really IS a good idea to dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png look a gift horse in the mouth.

[drone_r0m-3]

I'm certain there are some Bronies out there who are kinky enough to enjoy this particular version of Equestria.

[SecretiveExplosion]

[tsaukpaetra]

Your Human And You: Sentient adaptation version

[Ice Feather]

* facehoof * i don't really like dis story........

[Ice Feather]

How did u get this submitted?!

[pjabrony]

5615139

It was grandfathered in. At the time the minimum word count was 500, and they didn't make you get rid of those once they upped it to 1000. I'm sorry you didn't like the story.

[Ice Feather]

5615149 not fair. And, I just think it's waaaY to short.

[Godiswithus3]

......I don't even know what to say.............

[CyberDragon89ponies]

this story has the wrong tag how the hell is any part of this a comedy

[pjabrony]

8763317
It was supposed to be funny...I guess you didn't laugh.

[CyberDragon89ponies]

8763902
yeah sorry man i just think this stories dark

[PresentPerfect]

Oh man, this was hilarious! :D

[pjabrony]

8772131

Did this story get linked somewhere? I had no comments on it since 2015, and now a bunch.

[PresentPerfect]

8772403
You got a reading recently from Scribbler. :)

[Admiral Biscuit]

Sucks to be those two, I guess. Oh well, at least they got to Ponyville.