When Pinkie Pie seems troubled by her inability to pulverize boulders into dust, Applejack suggests a visit to the Pie Family farm to learn from the best. She tags along, of course. After all, she's always wanted to learn.

Rainbow Dash is a pony who stares danger in the face, seeks to earn well-deserved fame, inspires the ponies around her, bravely fights villains, rescues those in peril, and strives to make every moment awesome.

One important day, she utterly fails to do those things.

But that's okay.

A/N: This is a present-tense first-person-narrated tale taking place during the events of "The Crystal Empire". A story with an unclear moral, little excitement, thin character development, rehashed plot, and a foregone conclusion. The most bland, pointless FiMFic I've ever written. Read at your peril.

Early one morning, Twilight Sparkle gets up to make some tea.

Sometimes, a cup of tea is just a cup of tea. This is not one of those times.

This is not the story of how the Dragon Empire fell. This is the story of why it happened.

Part of the Borderworld.

It's been five thousand years since the Summit of the Gods was last hosted in Equestria, and after dropping off Discord in Ponyville, Celestia returns to Canterlot Castle to meet with the entire Norse Pantheon. Before she can arrive, though, she's stopped by a guard with a strange message, sent on the behalf of a mysterious figure from her past.

Now available as an audiobook! Reading by Illya Leonov.

Now with a Russian translation!

Cover picture by Sonson-Sensei.

“Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.”
- Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

Twilight and Minuette discuss Starlight Glimmer's timeline disruptions.

Twilight just wishes the conversation had happened in chronological order.

Tonight, Celestia will talk to Shining Armor. With just one conversation, she needs to save Equestria.

A homage to Pearple Prose, written in her style. Cover art by LoloPan. Proofread by Queuefka Palazzo, Lucky Roll, Selbi, Mr Numbers, Magello, and Pearple Prose herself.

As seen on EQD and the RCL interview.

Reading by Illya Leonov.
Reading by VocalNoctis
Chinese translation by Dreams Set Free.