Princess Celestia's been dealing with some rather embrassing issues for as long as she can remember, and she decides it's finally time to do something about it.

Fortunately, she just so happens to have a sister and a student that are more than willing to lend a helping hoof.

Now with a reading by Scarlett Blade. Click here to view.

Just what became of six legendary Equestrian heroes? And where did the first Alicorns come from?

The answer is both more exalting and more disgusting than one might expect.

Rated “T” for Turbid, “IM” for immaturity, and “S” for unapologetic silliness.

The Critics Rave!

“…a classic undignified farce…”—A British Gentleman

“…I am impressed, amazed, shocked and appalled. I’m impramazocktapalled.”—AlphaBrony

“GGA burns the good faith I had in him after the Riverdream Manuscript…” — Anonymous

After the Royal Wedding and the abortive Changeling Invasion, Princess Luna shows Twilight an ancient archive, and shows her the power that words can wield.

At Celestia's behest, Twilight Sparkle arrives in Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration, and potentially the return of Nightmare Moon.

Her preparations will be anything but easy. The stallions in charge of the festivities all seem to have taken a "romantic" interest in her, and every one of them is terrible at flirting. Really terrible. Really.

T for innuendo/creepy behavior. Thanks to Sereg for prereading and to Midnight Rambler for helping with the first draft song sequence. Thanks to Posey, Jetto, Blank!, and Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi for editing (Plus three other anons who didn't give me their fimfic names). Especial thanks to whatmustido and ocalhoun for nitpicking the hell out of this mess.

All-mare version
All-stallion version
Stallion Twilight/mare main five version
The password for the FIMfic versions is: TUSH
(Every version is essentially identical, save character gender. Comments are enabled on the Gdocs if you notice any typos )

Sometimes, the meaning of a cutie mark isn't obvious. What does a bunch of stars have to do with being great at magic, after all?

For the most part, Twilight Sparkle never paid much mind to this question. A lot of cutie marks are abstract, after all. But while browsing the Star Swirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot Archives, she finds an old book with a cover that matches her cutie mark perfectly.

Inside that dusty old tome, Twilight finds the secrets of a bygone age, answers to questions she never would have asked, and a terrifying vision of what could have happened to her.