Have you ever have a moment in your life that you didn't expect to happen? Well recently I have. Not only have I been ripped from my home and put into a world of colorful ponies, but I had to be turned into one of my former favorite animals.

A cat.

That can talk.

.........My life sucks so much.

A/N : The main character is from a world where MLP dosen't exist. So everything is unknown to him. Artwork by Enfysneko on Deviantart

“You know how when you're at a party, and you use what you didn't realize was a magic letter to Princess Celestia to roll a joint?
I guess maybe that's not, uh, a thing, but yeah, I did that this one time. It was at that huge party Shannon and Adam had a while back. You know, Max's friends? …No, Celestia's not one of—They wouldn't know each other...
But anyway, yeah, in case you were wondering why I'm all like, a girl unicorn now, that was kinda the short version.”

Meet Rob, a 27 year old musician who gets more than he bargained blah blah blah
Get a front-row seat in his brain for the Long Version, as he wracks it trying to weasel out of being a pony, or at least not let anything slip by as he takes it one freaky moment at a time.

What will the other lost-weekenders think when they walk in on him passed out on their couch? Will he be able to get through the city and at least back to his apartment, if not to normal? Will he learn anything about REAL friendship along the way and stop being such an insufferable hipster? What if some blowhard fan author just couldn't “turn it off” and ended up trying to write a pony story as actual sci-fi? Will Ahuizotl get the statue? Does P=NPony? Can you grab me another beer while you're up?
And did that letter ever get to Princess Celestia?
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Your standard pony Trip Report, with your standard pseudo-autobiographical narrator, written to flush out my creative plumbing and play around with, uh, like, good...thinkies and word-putting, and because the urge to do it just wouldn't leave me alone, so I just had to get it outta my system. I just really like the juxtaposition of humans and ponies, I guess.

Title is obviously a reference to M-Theory and Tristram Shandy, respectively. Because I can never pick just one thing.

Rated T for Adult Situations, gratuitous overthinking, and fuckloads of swearing. Oh and I guess drug use.

Oh, you had a bad day at high school?
A couple of douches duct tape your car to a light pole in the parking lot?
Phht, that's nothin'.
Buddy, just kick back, relax, and let me tell you what happens when friends experiment with witchcraft on you.

It all started with the mane... My mane.

Rated Teen for an occasional cuss here or there.

King Sombra’s dark influence was obliterated by the Crystal Heart, and the villain is well and truly dead. But when he attempts to steal the afterlife of an innocent victim, a human spirit is left hurtling towards Equestria, where this unfortunate soul is revived into the only vessel available: the reconstituted body of King Sombra himself.

Thus, a cheerfully oblivious alien is crammed into the form of the most evil and malicious being Equestria has ever known. Not that Shining Armor and Cadence know this, of course. As far as they are concerned, the King is back and he’s lost his fricking mind.

Click here for the TV Tropes page!

Flash Sentry is having a very bad Hearts And Hooves Day.

His date has been cancelled.

He has to work a double shift.

And for some reason, stallions are hitting on him at a bar...

Yeah, really bad Hearts And Hooves Day.

Edited by MythrilMoth.
Special thanks to Weeping Angel for pre-reading and JaquelinDreamz for permission to use her artwork.

This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library