Fic recs, July 15th · 10:24pm Jul 15th, 2015
It's three days until Trotcon, and my stress level seems to be relaxing. Helps that I actually took a walk today and got some shit done. :B On that note, obligatory reminder that I am selling things. I added those video games in I mentioned previously. Now's your chance to buy 'em!
Because I am a bad pony and have not been doing things lately, this is gonna be another long one with a bunch of short fics from compilations. Got a couple finished, though! :D Also, review #600 for the year!
H: 1 R: 6 C: 11 V: 3 N: 1
All but Two by Caisius
Genre: Appleparents
After the family reunion, Applejack grapple with her grief over her dead parents.
I downvoted this a long time ago, but recently ran into it again because of the song by Aviators. I can see why I did, though. This is dull. The opening is flowery description and AJ being wistful. Then she turns angsty. Then she goes out and talks with her dead parents, accompanied by Apple Bloom. That scene was, I think, done much better in Pilgrimage. This isn’t poorly written by any stretch, but I simply did not enjoy it. It adds nothing to the litany of “AJ is sad because parents” stories.
Not Recommended
The Apple of My Eye by Cold in Gardez
Genre: Dark Comedy
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo try to cheer Apple Bloom up after she gets her cutie mark.
Honestly, this would’ve been funnier had I read it years ago. These jokes have been done to death in the interim and I more or less knew where this was going. So this gets a “decent, but hasn’t aged well”.
Recommended as Light Reading
Things You Do Not Do by Esle Ynopemos
Genre: Drama
Fluttershy and Applejack get caught in a landslide.
The body of the story is pretty tense, giving us Fluttershy’s emotional response to the sudden disaster. That tension is broken somewhat by a mention of Tom toward the end, but as flash fiction goes, this really works. The ending is just vague enough that I went “Huh!” So, worth the 600 or so words.
Recommended for the Ending
The Elements of Style, part 2 by Benman
Genre: Puns
What if Nightmare Moon was defeated by Elements representing a more writerly aspect of… whatever the hell this is.
Recommended for Laughs
Nuggets by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Comedy
In an effort to help her stay assertive, Rarity gets Fluttershy to critique her newest designs.
I loved this. It builds perfectly to its joke and doesn’t misuse any of its word count. Of course, the joke itself is a big part of why I liked this, and why Pascoite should also read it. And why Trick Question probably shouldn’t. Everyone else, you’re on your own. :V
Recommended
(Also Considered Were “Marebergers” and “Mareshalls”) by Chris
Genre: Comedy
Rarity cons Rainbow Dash into a shopping trip.
This was a very ‘meh’ piece, and Chris has distinctly done better. I couldn’t get over how awkward the introductory dialogue is, even if it’s lampshaded. And nothing much really comes of it. All it’s got going for it is brevity.
Vaguely Recommended
The Night Watch by Pascoite
Genre: Cute
Twilight goes to bed.
That’s it. There’s literally nothing more to this than that single line of explanation. It’s cute as all fuck, but nakedly so.
Recommended If You Like Cute Things
You, Ms. Harshwhinny, and a Pair of Cougars Go on a Double Date by horizon
Genre: What
What?
Yeah, uh. So. That title accurately sums up this story in both plot and tone. It’s hysterical. It’s also completely unexplainable. Bonus points for “Seychellois”. This is the best second-person story I have ever read. I just have to assume horizon really does think Ms. Harshwhinny is best pony.
Highly Recommended
Wet by Titanium Dragon
Genre: Emotional
If there’s a reason I don’t like this, it’s that the metaphor set up in the opening feels awfully trite. That, and it’s easy to figure out what’s happened. That said, the story of what’s happened is told perfectly; I really appreciate the storycraft in play here. The overall pathos really fits with a Rarijack in the vein of Mistakes Were Made. So, not bad!
Recommended If You Like Putting It Together
The White Wub by Wanderer D
Genre: Babylon 5 Crossover
Well, that was unexpected. I think this is also a Sweetie Belle Chronicles story, though I haven’t read that yet to be sure. It’s, uh… a thing. I don’t know enough Babylon 5 to get most of the references, honestly. (Also, I feel like I’ve read this already, just with less Sweetie Belle.)
Recommended If You Like Babylon 5 or The Sweetie Chronicles, I Guess
Get Ready by Ezn
Genre: Flashfic
Okay, I think I get what’s going on here, but I’m not sure. (Something something toy POV. But then what's the title for?) Still, it’s too short not to recommend.
Recommended If You Like Figuring Stuff Out
On the Trail We Blaze by alexmagnet
Genre: Adventure
Twilight and Trixie track down a family fortune hidden in a volcano.
I actually remember this from its writeoff, but not what I thought about it at the time. Rereading it, well, I’m still not sure. I mean, Twilight’s 100% out of character, but it seems like the story might be heading for “This is fanfiction written by Trixie”... until it ends. So I’m not sure what I’m supposed to get out of it.
Vaguely Recommended
Rendezvous by Compendium of Steve
600th Review of 2015!
Genre: Conversation
Ergh, I’m not sure how much of this I can give away. It’s written well enough that I could figure out what was going on about halfway in, but the figuring out was part of the fun. It’s just two characters having a conversation, reminiscing about times long past, and something about one of them is a little off. I’m not sure how intentional the shipping vibes I got were, either. Still, good fun, and a short read.
Recommended as Light Reading
A Last Meal by Filler
Genre: Sad
This is a really brief piece about regret. I’m not sure how realistic the scenario is, nor whether that will affect one’s reading of it, but it distinctly works.
Recommended
Story Time by Jonathon Smythe
Genre: Fable
Granny Smith tells Apple Bloom a story about a strong pony who’s none too smart.
While the story within this story is fun, it’s the final scene that gives me pause. It just kind of sums everything up in the most haphazard manner possible. That, and the dialogue interjections can be a little offputting since they aren’t delineated from the rest of the text. It’s a fun, bite-sized read, at least.
Recommended as Light Reading
The Birth of Pinkie Pie by Nonagon
Genre: Comedy
Wow. I did not see that coming. :D Possibly the best of these tiny, tiny flashfics, at least so far.
Recommended
A Micro-Skype Fic by Fuzzy Furvert
Genre: Shipping
At first, I thought this was a really cute, funny TwiLuna. Then there was a hint of Princest. Then the ending happened, and just what?
Recommended for Shippers Only
THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY EVER by HoofAndQuill
Genre: Stream of Consciousness
Pinkie drags Twilight through the Everfree, because it’s quicker than going around.
Bizarre though the narration may be, it suits Pinkie to a T, and I rather liked it besides. More importantly, this turns out to be a story about something I have never seen written about in this fandom before, and that by itself is worth its weight in gold. So, fast, kind of jumpy stream-of-consciousness narration, lots of excitement, and a surprise ending that’s sure to please. Sounds good to me!
Recommended
Dude (Looks Like a Lady) by Tall Tales
Genre: Light Comedy
Aloe and Lotus try to help Caramel with his mare troubles.
I’m a little bemused by this. The opening, with Caramel complaining about his inability to attract mares, seemed to be going for a “you’re gay” joke (because he has sleepovers with Aloe and Lotus to talk about styles?) but didn’t. A&L get their idea from a manga. The story doesn’t actually go anywhere. It’s short, but I dunno, nothing comes of it.
Vaguely Recommended
Business by Twinkletail
Genre: Shipping
Pinkie helps her marefriend out selling apples.
Nope, still not into ApplePie, despite, yes, having the best ship name. That said, this is funny and uses the two of them really well, even if it doesn’t sell the ship.
Recommended for Shippers
Cherry Strudel’s New Glasses by Admiral Biscuit
Genre: Comedy
A stallion gets an eye exam, at his wife’s insistence.
You can see it building up to the final joke, but I still didn’t catch it. The draw here is the contrast between the mundanity of the eye exam and Cherry thinking about his mate back home. I laughed.
Recommended
Fantasy Hoofball by Sharp Spark
Genre: Sports Comedy
Y’know, given all the advantages various races have, you have to wonder how ponies could play football and have it be fair. To say nothing of how you throw a ball with hooves. Anyway, as the title suggests, this is about fantasy hoofball, which I know even less about than real football, even if it starts out with a scene in an unrelated actual hoofball game. The bulk of the story is hilarious, though, with all the members of the fantasy league well-rendered, even if some, like Berry Punch, are more or less just their fanon versions. I particularly adore Lyra, who is thankfully our main character, written as a hopeless, irresponsible mooch that everyone keeps around because they’re too nice to tell her to buzz off. The rules again elude me, but there’s enough weirdness from Pinkie and Caramel to at least let the unaware reader know when things are awry. Honestly, if anything doesn’t work, it’s the final scene, which felt like a half-there punchline to a joke I didn’t know I was being told. (The bonus scene, on the other hand, is funny.) Still, this is eminently worth the read, especially if you know what’s going on. But don’t let ignorance keep you away!
Recommended
Wow, just choose my old, mediocre stuff to review, PP :(
3241299
Even your old, mediocre stuff is better than my stuff.
3241299
I know that feeling, buddy.
And to you, PP: how the heck did my "The 'best' part of this fic is the parenthetical meta-joke of a title" story get a "Vaguely Recommended" out of you? This is an NR if I've ever seen one! It's got no purpose other than to make a couple of puns, and even the puns aren't very good!
I'm upset because my stories have collectively gotten every rating EXCEPT "Not Recommended" from you, and I really thought that this was my best chance. Now I may never complete the quintfecta...
3241384
It was close, but frankly, it's hard to say that a story under 1k words isn't worth reading. At worst, they waste a minimum of time for no payoff. These fics have to do something tremendously bad, content-wise, to get an N from me.
EDIT: THAT IS NOT A CHALLENGE
Wet was (I think) my first subtext-as-story piece, which is probably why it feels a bit obvious; still, I'm glad you thought that the overall crafting of the piece was solid, and that it communicated Rarity's pathos well.
Thanks for the read and the CR!
3241400
For some reason, I think Chris is going to ignore this edit.
3241494
Were I in Chris' position, I would. Luckily, i've already gotten a coveted NR, so I can scratch that off my bucket list. Too bad, really, 'cause it spawned a whole flood of knockoffs. EDIT: which might be part of the reason it got a NR.
I'm sorry you feel that way about my story. I wrote my feelings down in a time of pain and loss... I don't expect you to understand the process of it if you haven't been through it.
I respect your opinion, though.
Thanks for at least giving it consideration.
An HR for a crackfic? My work here is done.
Holy crap that's a lot of stories.
Huh. Apparently, Trick Question is the only author on Fimfiction who doesn't laugh uproariously at the existence of shit and filth for its own sake.
Sucks to be her! Oh, wait.
3241411
3241400
Hay guise, can you two PM me email addresses? I'd like to be able to coordinate Trotcon stuff with you two, Morning Sun, and Bad Horse by email (if that's okay).
Wow. Well that... hm.
Minifics.
)
Apparently it is now ten minutes later than it was a second ago.
(deleted comment was a question about why the links took me to random chapters of longer stories
SHIP ALL THE PRINCESSES IS HOW I ROLL
Your praise fills me with equal parts pride and shame, sir.
In all seriousness, there are some quite enjoyable picks here.
3241597
For what it's worth, there is exceedingly little filth in that story.
3241777
I'm sorry. I only read stories Present Perfect marks Not Recommended, except for those in which he is trying to trick me with reverse psychology, which is most of them.
I guess I don't really know what I'm saying at all. Please ignore this comment entirely.
Wow, I'm surprised you liked "The Night Watch" at all. Like you said, it's pointless cuteness. But there was one ill-considered line in there that ruined it all, and a few people rightly called me out in it back when it was in a write-off.
So I read "Nuggets." I'm glad I did.
3241749
static.quien.com/photos/2013/06/13/34297_20130613082741-1371130061-S002.jpg
Ye gods man. Judging a piece of an April Fool's joke without judging the entire joke.
At least you didn't hate it?
3241822
THATS MUH SHIP
3241518
Y'know, normal people usually talk about wanting to get H's from me. :/
3241707
Heyyyy, did you change your name? :|
3241597
3241804
DO I KNOW PEOPLE OR DO I KNOW PEOPLE
3241861
I haven't read the other story you linked, either. :B I was mostly just confused.
3241962 i.imgur.com/UDG5cZPm.png?1
senpai-pp perceived my person! and my personal proper noun promotion!
Wait. We're all trying for Not Recommended rating from PresentPerfect? I'm sure I can put something of that ilk together in just about one thousand words. Hmmm. Princess Celestia and pre-Ponyville Twilight Sparkle drink thestral transformation potions and then trade puns while making out a lot. I'm at least halfway there...
3241927
For some reason, "S.S. Twilycest" doesn't turn up any pictures of ships on Google. Weird.
Wait... I might have enough money to purchase a small boat...
3241962
You know how to convince me not to read a story by threatening that I will, in particular, not like it. This is not quite the same as knowing I actually wouldn't like the story.
3242204
oh pegasi dropping hailstorm I'm going to have to read that story now aren't I
3242047
Now I have to go change all my Slamjam reviews. :(
3242188
...I should just make it a contest, shouldn't I? Except that would be promoting terrible fanfic and that is not a thing I or anyone else should do. :|
3242706 I'm not gonna. I think with all the other odd mentions of my name that won't be changed anyone who goes back in the future to look at the Slamjam will get the gist.
3241962
Why do you assume I'm a normal person?
3242188
I'd read that.
3241400
OH REALLY BECAUSE IT SURE LOOKS LIKE ONE TO ME
3242188
Remember, PP says 3242706 he doesn't want to promote terrible fanfic, so we'll need to find a way to write excellent minifics that he hates anyway.
...That really does sound like a challenge, doesn't it?
3243306
3243157
3242706 Here you guys go.
Though the Present is Never Perfect, She Brought the Perfect Present
Password is 'dumb' if it hasn't been published yet.
Sorry.
3243790
I hate it already.
3243887 But it was tailored specifically to your tastes...
3243157
3243790
3243887
Okay, I gave it a try. I might have gone a little too far into parody territory (I really had to pull myself back more than once), but hopefully it's still technically-"good"-but-actually-unpalatable enough that PP will hate it.
Celestia Licks Up Twilight's Peach Juice
3243790
HAH! I wrote mine before I read yours, and I love that we both went with Twilestia. I think yours is better for the contest, though; throwing on an out-of-nowhere dark ending really ties together the "bad idea" package.
3243979 I just know PresentPerfect is going to love your story. It touches upon every off-line and unverifiable conversation we've ever had about what he loves most in a story. He's probably going to deny loving it, but that's just tsundere behavior. Deep down, he'll be infatuated.
3243966
This needs to be an actual contest - use the Writeoff interface. Please!
Prompt: Present Perfect Prodding
3241604
Looks like everyone is going to be at Trotcon while I'm sitting at home debating if I even dare show my face at Crystal Mountain Pony Con across town.
3243966
I hate it because it's on gdocs. :|
3244360
I thought about putting it on ff.net, but then I'd have needed to make an ff.net account, and I don't hate myself that much.
3244274
Do it! Make a friend there, and then follow that friend around and make some more. And have some fun. It will help you feel good to have fun and Pinkie here with me highly recommends that thing!
(actual hugs)