• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


Writer, RCL co-curator, EQD prereader, dramatic reader, VA, fic reviewer. Vote for my next fic to release!

More Blog Posts2246

  • Sunday
    Fic reviews, August 2nd!

    Ugh, why is it August already? D: Why do I feel like shit? Why did Flash Fiction Online have a bunch of stories this month that didn't make sense?

    Read More

    6 comments · 150 views
  • Friday
    State of the Writer, July 2020!

    I am having a day, let me tell you. I shouldn't even be up right now, but at 5:40 this morning, my cat popped the screen out of the bathroom window and took a stroll around our roof for an hour. The adrenalin's long since worn off, and I want to die. D:

    Read More

    12 comments · 201 views
  • 1 week
    This is great world-building

    I've seen a scant handful of ideas over the last decade for how deaf ponies might communicate. Fanartist Meadowmood has come up with something pretty original!

    Read More

    14 comments · 299 views
  • 1 week
    People are shipping this now

    And I don't hate it.

    Read More

    24 comments · 467 views
  • 1 week
    Fic recs, July 26th: I'm bad at picking stories edition!

    SPark is selling another plushie! This time, it's Celestia, ergo clearly worth your money.

    So, I know I just posted yesterday, but this one's done and my video recording didn't work this morning, so I'm just doing whatever today. <.<

    Read More

    11 comments · 242 views

Fic recs, July 15th · 10:24pm Jul 15th, 2015

It's three days until Trotcon, and my stress level seems to be relaxing. Helps that I actually took a walk today and got some shit done. :B On that note, obligatory reminder that I am selling things. I added those video games in I mentioned previously. Now's your chance to buy 'em!

Because I am a bad pony and have not been doing things lately, this is gonna be another long one with a bunch of short fics from compilations. Got a couple finished, though! :D Also, review #600 for the year!

H: 1 R: 6 C: 11 V: 3 N: 1

All but Two by Caisius
Genre: Appleparents
After the family reunion, Applejack grapple with her grief over her dead parents.
I downvoted this a long time ago, but recently ran into it again because of the song by Aviators. I can see why I did, though. This is dull. The opening is flowery description and AJ being wistful. Then she turns angsty. Then she goes out and talks with her dead parents, accompanied by Apple Bloom. That scene was, I think, done much better in Pilgrimage. This isn’t poorly written by any stretch, but I simply did not enjoy it. It adds nothing to the litany of “AJ is sad because parents” stories.
Not Recommended

The Apple of My Eye by Cold in Gardez
Genre: Dark Comedy
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo try to cheer Apple Bloom up after she gets her cutie mark.
Honestly, this would’ve been funnier had I read it years ago. These jokes have been done to death in the interim and I more or less knew where this was going. So this gets a “decent, but hasn’t aged well”.
Recommended as Light Reading

Things You Do Not Do by Esle Ynopemos
Genre: Drama
Fluttershy and Applejack get caught in a landslide.
The body of the story is pretty tense, giving us Fluttershy’s emotional response to the sudden disaster. That tension is broken somewhat by a mention of Tom toward the end, but as flash fiction goes, this really works. The ending is just vague enough that I went “Huh!” So, worth the 600 or so words.
Recommended for the Ending

The Elements of Style, part 2 by Benman
Genre: Puns
What if Nightmare Moon was defeated by Elements representing a more writerly aspect of… whatever the hell this is.
Recommended for Laughs

Nuggets by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Comedy
In an effort to help her stay assertive, Rarity gets Fluttershy to critique her newest designs.
I loved this. It builds perfectly to its joke and doesn’t misuse any of its word count. Of course, the joke itself is a big part of why I liked this, and why Pascoite should also read it. And why Trick Question probably shouldn’t. Everyone else, you’re on your own. :V

(Also Considered Were “Marebergers” and “Mareshalls”) by Chris
Genre: Comedy
Rarity cons Rainbow Dash into a shopping trip.
This was a very ‘meh’ piece, and Chris has distinctly done better. I couldn’t get over how awkward the introductory dialogue is, even if it’s lampshaded. And nothing much really comes of it. All it’s got going for it is brevity.
Vaguely Recommended

The Night Watch by Pascoite
Genre: Cute
Twilight goes to bed.
That’s it. There’s literally nothing more to this than that single line of explanation. It’s cute as all fuck, but nakedly so.
Recommended If You Like Cute Things

You, Ms. Harshwhinny, and a Pair of Cougars Go on a Double Date by horizon
Genre: What
Yeah, uh. So. That title accurately sums up this story in both plot and tone. It’s hysterical. It’s also completely unexplainable. Bonus points for “Seychellois”. This is the best second-person story I have ever read. I just have to assume horizon really does think Ms. Harshwhinny is best pony.
Highly Recommended

Wet by Titanium Dragon
Genre: Emotional
If there’s a reason I don’t like this, it’s that the metaphor set up in the opening feels awfully trite. That, and it’s easy to figure out what’s happened. That said, the story of what’s happened is told perfectly; I really appreciate the storycraft in play here. The overall pathos really fits with a Rarijack in the vein of Mistakes Were Made. So, not bad!
Recommended If You Like Putting It Together

The White Wub by Wanderer D
Genre: Babylon 5 Crossover
Well, that was unexpected. I think this is also a Sweetie Belle Chronicles story, though I haven’t read that yet to be sure. It’s, uh… a thing. I don’t know enough Babylon 5 to get most of the references, honestly. (Also, I feel like I’ve read this already, just with less Sweetie Belle.)
Recommended If You Like Babylon 5 or The Sweetie Chronicles, I Guess

Get Ready by Ezn
Genre: Flashfic
Okay, I think I get what’s going on here, but I’m not sure. (Something something toy POV. But then what's the title for?) Still, it’s too short not to recommend.
Recommended If You Like Figuring Stuff Out

On the Trail We Blaze by alexmagnet
Genre: Adventure
Twilight and Trixie track down a family fortune hidden in a volcano.
I actually remember this from its writeoff, but not what I thought about it at the time. Rereading it, well, I’m still not sure. I mean, Twilight’s 100% out of character, but it seems like the story might be heading for “This is fanfiction written by Trixie”... until it ends. So I’m not sure what I’m supposed to get out of it.
Vaguely Recommended

Rendezvous by Compendium of Steve
600th Review of 2015!
Genre: Conversation
Ergh, I’m not sure how much of this I can give away. It’s written well enough that I could figure out what was going on about halfway in, but the figuring out was part of the fun. It’s just two characters having a conversation, reminiscing about times long past, and something about one of them is a little off. I’m not sure how intentional the shipping vibes I got were, either. Still, good fun, and a short read.
Recommended as Light Reading

A Last Meal by Filler
Genre: Sad
This is a really brief piece about regret. I’m not sure how realistic the scenario is, nor whether that will affect one’s reading of it, but it distinctly works.

Story Time by Jonathon Smythe
Genre: Fable
Granny Smith tells Apple Bloom a story about a strong pony who’s none too smart.
While the story within this story is fun, it’s the final scene that gives me pause. It just kind of sums everything up in the most haphazard manner possible. That, and the dialogue interjections can be a little offputting since they aren’t delineated from the rest of the text. It’s a fun, bite-sized read, at least.
Recommended as Light Reading

The Birth of Pinkie Pie by Nonagon
Genre: Comedy
Wow. I did not see that coming. :D Possibly the best of these tiny, tiny flashfics, at least so far.

A Micro-Skype Fic by Fuzzy Furvert
Genre: Shipping
At first, I thought this was a really cute, funny TwiLuna. Then there was a hint of Princest. Then the ending happened, and just what?
Recommended for Shippers Only

Genre: Stream of Consciousness
Pinkie drags Twilight through the Everfree, because it’s quicker than going around.
Bizarre though the narration may be, it suits Pinkie to a T, and I rather liked it besides. More importantly, this turns out to be a story about something I have never seen written about in this fandom before, and that by itself is worth its weight in gold. So, fast, kind of jumpy stream-of-consciousness narration, lots of excitement, and a surprise ending that’s sure to please. Sounds good to me!

Dude (Looks Like a Lady) by Tall Tales
Genre: Light Comedy
Aloe and Lotus try to help Caramel with his mare troubles.
I’m a little bemused by this. The opening, with Caramel complaining about his inability to attract mares, seemed to be going for a “you’re gay” joke (because he has sleepovers with Aloe and Lotus to talk about styles?) but didn’t. A&L get their idea from a manga. The story doesn’t actually go anywhere. It’s short, but I dunno, nothing comes of it.
Vaguely Recommended

Business by Twinkletail
Genre: Shipping
Pinkie helps her marefriend out selling apples.
Nope, still not into ApplePie, despite, yes, having the best ship name. That said, this is funny and uses the two of them really well, even if it doesn’t sell the ship.
Recommended for Shippers

Cherry Strudel’s New Glasses by Admiral Biscuit
Genre: Comedy
A stallion gets an eye exam, at his wife’s insistence.
You can see it building up to the final joke, but I still didn’t catch it. The draw here is the contrast between the mundanity of the eye exam and Cherry thinking about his mate back home. I laughed.

Fantasy Hoofball by Sharp Spark
Genre: Sports Comedy
Y’know, given all the advantages various races have, you have to wonder how ponies could play football and have it be fair. To say nothing of how you throw a ball with hooves. Anyway, as the title suggests, this is about fantasy hoofball, which I know even less about than real football, even if it starts out with a scene in an unrelated actual hoofball game. The bulk of the story is hilarious, though, with all the members of the fantasy league well-rendered, even if some, like Berry Punch, are more or less just their fanon versions. I particularly adore Lyra, who is thankfully our main character, written as a hopeless, irresponsible mooch that everyone keeps around because they’re too nice to tell her to buzz off. The rules again elude me, but there’s enough weirdness from Pinkie and Caramel to at least let the unaware reader know when things are awry. Honestly, if anything doesn’t work, it’s the final scene, which felt like a half-there punchline to a joke I didn’t know I was being told. (The bonus scene, on the other hand, is funny.) Still, this is eminently worth the read, especially if you know what’s going on. But don’t let ignorance keep you away!

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 42 )

Wow, just choose my old, mediocre stuff to review, PP :(

Even your old, mediocre stuff is better than my stuff.

I know that feeling, buddy.

And to you, PP: how the heck did my "The 'best' part of this fic is the parenthetical meta-joke of a title" story get a "Vaguely Recommended" out of you? This is an NR if I've ever seen one! It's got no purpose other than to make a couple of puns, and even the puns aren't very good!

I'm upset because my stories have collectively gotten every rating EXCEPT "Not Recommended" from you, and I really thought that this was my best chance. Now I may never complete the quintfecta...

Author Interviewer

It was close, but frankly, it's hard to say that a story under 1k words isn't worth reading. At worst, they waste a minimum of time for no payoff. These fics have to do something tremendously bad, content-wise, to get an N from me.


Wet was (I think) my first subtext-as-story piece, which is probably why it feels a bit obvious; still, I'm glad you thought that the overall crafting of the piece was solid, and that it communicated Rarity's pathos well.

Thanks for the read and the CR!



For some reason, I think Chris is going to ignore this edit.

Were I in Chris' position, I would. Luckily, i've already gotten a coveted NR, so I can scratch that off my bucket list. Too bad, really, 'cause it spawned a whole flood of knockoffs. EDIT: which might be part of the reason it got a NR.

I'm sorry you feel that way about my story. I wrote my feelings down in a time of pain and loss... I don't expect you to understand the process of it if you haven't been through it.

I respect your opinion, though.

Thanks for at least giving it consideration.

An HR for a crackfic? My work here is done. :twilightsmile:

Holy crap that's a lot of stories.

Of course, the joke itself is a big part of why I liked this, and why Pascoite should also read it. And why Trick Question probably shouldn’t.

Huh. Apparently, Trick Question is the only author on Fimfiction who doesn't laugh uproariously at the existence of shit and filth for its own sake. :derpytongue2:

Sucks to be her! Oh, wait. :facehoof:

Hay guise, can you two PM me email addresses? I'd like to be able to coordinate Trotcon stuff with you two, Morning Sun, and Bad Horse by email (if that's okay).

Comment posted by Cosmic Cowboy deleted Jul 16th, 2015

Wow. Well that... hm.

Apparently it is now ten minutes later than it was a second ago.
(deleted comment was a question about why the links took me to random chapters of longer stories


Your praise fills me with equal parts pride and shame, sir. :twilightsmile:

In all seriousness, there are some quite enjoyable picks here.

For what it's worth, there is exceedingly little filth in that story.

I'm sorry. I only read stories Present Perfect marks Not Recommended, except for those in which he is trying to trick me with reverse psychology, which is most of them.

I guess I don't really know what I'm saying at all. Please ignore this comment entirely.

Wow, I'm surprised you liked "The Night Watch" at all. Like you said, it's pointless cuteness. But there was one ill-considered line in there that ruined it all, and a few people rightly called me out in it back when it was in a write-off.

So I read "Nuggets." I'm glad I did.

Wanderer D

Ye gods man. Judging a piece of an April Fool's joke without judging the entire joke. :derpytongue2: At least you didn't hate it?

Author Interviewer

Y'know, normal people usually talk about wanting to get H's from me. :/

Heyyyy, did you change your name? :|


I haven't read the other story you linked, either. :B I was mostly just confused.

3241962 i.imgur.com/UDG5cZPm.png?1
senpai-pp perceived my person! and my personal proper noun promotion!

Wait. We're all trying for Not Recommended rating from PresentPerfect? I'm sure I can put something of that ilk together in just about one thousand words. Hmmm. Princess Celestia and pre-Ponyville Twilight Sparkle drink thestral transformation potions and then trade puns while making out a lot. I'm at least halfway there...

For some reason, "S.S. Twilycest" doesn't turn up any pictures of ships on Google. Weird.

Wait... I might have enough money to purchase a small boat... :twilightblush:



You know how to convince me not to read a story by threatening that I will, in particular, not like it. This is not quite the same as knowing I actually wouldn't like the story.

oh pegasi dropping hailstorm I'm going to have to read that story now aren't I :raritycry:

Author Interviewer

Now I have to go change all my Slamjam reviews. :(

...I should just make it a contest, shouldn't I? Except that would be promoting terrible fanfic and that is not a thing I or anyone else should do. :|

3242706 I'm not gonna. I think with all the other odd mentions of my name that won't be changed anyone who goes back in the future to look at the Slamjam will get the gist.

Why do you assume I'm a normal person?




Remember, PP says 3242706 he doesn't want to promote terrible fanfic, so we'll need to find a way to write excellent minifics that he hates anyway.

...That really does sound like a challenge, doesn't it?

3242706 Here you guys go.

Though the Present is Never Perfect, She Brought the Perfect Present

Password is 'dumb' if it hasn't been published yet.


Author Interviewer

I hate it already.

3243887 But it was tailored specifically to your tastes... :applecry:


Okay, I gave it a try. I might have gone a little too far into parody territory (I really had to pull myself back more than once), but hopefully it's still technically-"good"-but-actually-unpalatable enough that PP will hate it.

Celestia Licks Up Twilight's Peach Juice


HAH! I wrote mine before I read yours, and I love that we both went with Twilestia. I think yours is better for the contest, though; throwing on an out-of-nowhere dark ending really ties together the "bad idea" package.

3243979 I just know PresentPerfect is going to love your story. It touches upon every off-line and unverifiable conversation we've ever had about what he loves most in a story. He's probably going to deny loving it, but that's just tsundere behavior. Deep down, he'll be infatuated.

This needs to be an actual contest - use the Writeoff interface. Please!

Prompt: Present Perfect Prodding

Looks like everyone is going to be at Trotcon while I'm sitting at home debating if I even dare show my face at Crystal Mountain Pony Con across town.

Author Interviewer

I hate it because it's on gdocs. :|

I thought about putting it on ff.net, but then I'd have needed to make an ff.net account, and I don't hate myself that much.

Do it! Make a friend there, and then follow that friend around and make some more. And have some fun. It will help you feel good to have fun and Pinkie here with me highly recommends that thing! :pinkiehappy:

(actual hugs)

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!