Braveheart lost his parents, and having nothing else, he decides to have his revenge on the culprit, not knowing that he is part of a bigger plan set in motion by destiny, possessing both the magic of the unicorns and the flight of the pegasus, he will learn the power that can be gained when you are willing to give your life to protect your loved ones.
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hey everypony, I hope you enjoy reading these as much as i have had writing it, it may never be as popular as other fics, since i'm not that good of a writer, but if i manage to entretain a few bronies here and there, i'll be just as happy, also if someone with the artistic capabilities would want to make me a cover for the story i would appreciate it very much, just get in touch with me, and i'll try to detail every doubt you may have about Braveheart.
c ya everypony and thanks in advance.
ps: constructive criticism is encouraged.
this looks very promising
i hope to read more
198519 thanks, its relieving, that someone would think that of my work, considering this is my first work of fiction.
I'm really sorry to say, since you're a new author, this is your first story, and you seem to be eager to learn and all. But... this story just compounds almost every bad cliche out there. First, you have the self-insert Gary-Stu character (I mean he's your avatar, it couldn't get any more blatant) who is a... what? A 'pegacorn'? That's not even a thing, the term is 'alicorn', a winged unicorn, which your self-insert happens to be. My best piece of advice would be to come up with a better idea than a self-insert Gary-Stu alicorn, since that's about as bad as it gets in premise terms.
On the technical side, the story could use a lot of work with grammar and formatting, but I've seen far, far worse.
The name of Braveheart's parents were kinda OK, well the second one anyway.
2/5
Because this story has every bad cliche in existence.
~Rabbidfangirl
198712 the term alicorn revolves around Celestia and Luna, they are inmortal beings, and possess treats of all 3 pony races, the term pegacorn is a breed between a pegasus, and a unicorn. Braveheart is just as mortal as any other pony, and doesn't have any treat regarding the earth ponies.
i know its a bit egocentristic of me to use the character as an avatar name, and image, but as of now i possess no image i could use as an avatar, and I was out of ideas as to what username I should have, thanks for the review
198725 first of all thanks for the review, second of all as i stated above the difference is that pegacorn stands for the crossbreed between a Pegasus and a Unicorn, he's a mortal, and can be fatally wounded, hes not all powerful, he needs to rest, eat and sleep.
while the alicorns are as you just said the all powerful gods, they are inmortal beings, that not necessairly need to rest, or eat. they do not get tired easly. i assure you that one of my least wishes is to create the Superman of the pony race (i hate superman being the all powerful of the supperheroes and all that).
about the invincible part, as you read earlier on the first chapter, (and this means spoiler alert for the people that are reading this before reading the story, lol.) Braveheart woke up all bruised up, and he passed out at the borderlines of the forest, i decided to start my story like this to prove that while he was strong, he was also mortal, and could be injured just as easly as anyone else. well sure the predicament where he got the injuries was a bit... unreasonable to say the least, but as maybe youll see in the future chapters he will get hurt, even lose some battles, and i dunno maybe hell explode... twice. well c ya and have a nice day
199962
Well, I hate to push the matter, but you're very wrong. An alicorn doesn't just refer to Luna and Celestia, it's a fan term coined to mean a winged unicorn and it's the definitive term for any pony of that nature. And, as I said, there is no such thing as a "pegacorn" and you can't get away with creating the breed because, as I just said, the term for a winged unicorn is alicorn. You're not really gonna win points with potential readers by spitting in the face of the established canon and fanon, that's all I'm saying. But, ultimately, you can do whatever you want. That doesn't mean people are gonna like it, though.
Carry on then.
this is looking to be a pretty awesome series :D keep it up
200282 well then excuuuse me princess, but i have read 1 or 2 fics where the term pegacorn is used for a crossbreed while the alicorn term resides for Celestia and Luna (and princess cadence out of lately), actually one is called "The age of wings and steel", look it up.
also there had been a debate almost a year ago, about what the right term should be used on the princesses. I sided with the alicorn because it seemed proper, alicorn make it sounds like it englobes the three pony races, meanwhile Pegacorn just makes reference to the pegasus, and unicorn.
also, i'm not trying to spit into the fanon, and canon. i just wanted to give my oppinion about what the difference between an alicorn and a pegacorn is.
if you have a problem with everyone trying to give something new to the fanon, well be my guest, i won't try to stop you. and maybe i wont be as popular as the other writers, maybe because i can't write as well as they do, or i want to "spit" into the fanon, or maybe even because english isn't my native language, and if i try to write in my native language first, and then translate it wont make much sense. Who cares, Im just giving a release to all the ideas that have been building inside my head.
thanks for reading this.
200361 thanks mah man, I haven't had the chance to read yours, but maybe when im done with my exams ill give it a try, wait for a review on urs in a week or two
Hmm.... to me, it doesn't matter if its another OC Alicorn, or what he can do, but it's more of the story line that matters. As for the whole Gary-stu thing, it's too early to judge until end of the entire story. And I think it was a okay start. Don't give up!
207200 thanks for the support, im still working at a 100% to develop a good story line.
I know this has nothing to do with you story, but your OC looks like the jelly stallion from the recent ep
220998 belive me, he exists way before the episode lol, but yeah.... im guessing coincidence... OR LAUREN FAUST STOLE MY OC!!! hahah jk
but belive me when i tell you that Braveheart will never be inside a pony sized jelly jar.... i hope
oh my god i love this story already TRACKED!
285013 thanks man, sadly it will take some time for me to upload some new chaps, i'm having trouble finishing the chapter 5, and I also want to finish the sixth (at least the first draft) before starting to submit chapter 4, but don't worry i'm not going to leave it like that.
i also want to make a small chapter or side story about how Brave's parents met, what are your thoughts on that?
288243 it sounds good brave i like side stories and small chapters it adds more to the plot and to the background of a story like prologue's
288356 thanks man, well i better get to gather ideas, to continue my story then
The thing about a gary stu is that they can always be fixed unlike dem Mary sues who keep on falling in love with the canonical devil may cry characters.
so you have a pretty good fighting chance
289700 i can't stare at your avatar for to long, idk if it cracks me up, or just scares the crap outta me.... Derpy Ewok
It looks good so far, but I'm going to have to continue reading this Sunday. (Today, I won' get home from school because I have to go to a high school and won't get back until 10:00 or 10:30. With Saturday my bands taking a field trip to Fiesta Texas!)
As for criticism, I say either indent or double space every paragraph. That's what I would do, but it's up to you.
539637 thanks man, I'll keep that in mind
ohhh Nightmare Moon
598282 hells yeah!
598353 you know what this calls for its this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eVi-3bwG0I
598395 lol?
cant wait to see what happens in the next chapter
608093 SPOILER ALERT: Nightmare Moon!!!!!
608217 knew that meant what Brave does to her
608093 wow it seems that you are the only one that keeps reading this story
thank you so much 
608231 np dude
608230 I'll try to get it done ASAP, I'm just finishing the final details, then, I'm going to continue writing my latest fic (Marvel vs Capcom 3 crossover). And it takes place in the same Equestria as Chronicles of a brave heart. so if you like the concept go ahead and take a peak.
608231 i keep reading this story i even tracked this!
611613 ok ok, my mistake srry man
I'm happy to know that I still have at least two readers interested in the story.
yay new chapter cant wait for the next one
wonder what will happen next!
615041>>615240 well, it'll take a while, since I have to figure out what I'm going to do, I'll try to work on it as fast as I can, but I can't make promises about a deadline
615810 just take your time
its been a while since we heard from you hows it going?
977149 well enough.
Right now I'm working on my MvC fic, after I finish that one and a few others I might continue or totally revamp Chronicles of a brave heart.
aside from that I have been doing great, been enjoying my vacations to the fullest, and I'm getting ready for the next semester.
How about you?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png
978470 i'm good thank you