• Published 6th Apr 2013
  • 1,558 Views, 18 Comments

Rarity fights a freaking giant crab - Ganondox

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OH MY GOSH A GIANT CRAB!

It was another ordinary day at Carousel Boutique. Rarity was sitting at her work table, sewing a pink dress. She was thinking about good it was going to look on Lady Baroque when she heard a crash from above, and then a thud in front of her. Looking up, she saw multicolored mess lying in the middle of the room, and more importantly, that one of of her windows was broken. Rarity screamed "Rainbow, what did I tell you about crashing through my windows? Those cost four hundred bits apiece!"

Now Rainbow Dash was brushing herself off. Before she even finished she gasped out "No time to explain, a freaking giant crab just kidnapped your sister! We need to go!"

Rarity gasped, her face somehow turning pale despite it already being white. The news struck her heart, causing her to drop the property damage Dash caused. Rarity was an expert in the idea of value, and she knew ponies were more important than any window or other material wealth, especially her friends. Sweetie Belle was most important of all, and now she was in grave danger. Rarity leaped onto her hind legs and shrieked out "Oh my goodness, Dash, forget about the stupid window, I need to save my poor little Sweetie Belle! Get me there as quickly as possible, before it's too late!"

Without even asking the normally refined pony leaped onto Rainbow Dash's back, causing the pegasus to grunt. When she didn't take off Rarity smacked her just south of the cutie mark, causing her to snort and take off like a bullet, breaking a second window on her depature. Rarity didn't even notice.

"You know, you could have just asked, you didn't have to smack me. Just wait, I-" Rainbow snarked. Rarity cut her off. "Oh, would you please be quiet, I need to save my sister from that horrible crab!" she snapped.


As they soared through the sky, Rainbow Dash trailing an angry rainbow, Rarity surveyed her surroundings. The last time Rarity had a seen this view was back when she was flying to Cloudsdale. Back then she was filled with a feeling of wonder as she saw the beauty of the world from a majestic new angle, but now she just felt queasy. At first everything looked normal, but then she noticed a trail of debris, and the sick feeling intensified. While it zigzagged it was clearing heading towards the lake, straight towards her parent's house, Sweetie Belle's home. Sure enough she saw the hay roof to that familiar lakeside cottage was torn straight off. However, the trail did not end there, and as she followed it with her eyes-

"There it is! There is the giant freaking crab! Hold on tight, because I'm gonna smash it!" Rainbow yelled out. She extended one hoof and was pointing towards the end of the trail of destruction. There was a massive yellowish-orange crustacean, nearly as tall Carousel Boutique and a few times as wide. It's two black claws were equally massive, large enough to snap a dragon's neck. Suspended on it's left claw a little filly was screaming her head off, appearing as little more than a white and purple dot, while it's right claw smashed any buildings that blocked it's path. When Rarity caught sight of her she shrieked and kicked into her mount's side, producing a second snort. Rainbow Dash snarled "HEY, I'm working on it!"

They drew in closer, and they could now heard high pitched screaming growing louder and the details of the crab came into focus, confirming the multicolored blob was in fact Sweetie Belle. Instead of flying straight into the crab Rainbow curved to the side, attempting to circle in front of the crab, which was now pursuing them. She then shouted back to Rarity.

"Okay, I'm going to try to smash into the crab head on. I want you to like levitate a giant piece of rock or something and hurl into the crabs face when we pass of it. Hopefully that that will smash it's ugly, crabby crab face. No one messes with Rainbow Dash and get's away with it!"

Rarity eyed a piece of wall three times her size and smirked wickedly. Oh, she was going to get her revenge. After making a twisted little giggle she said "With pleasure."

Her horn and the wall piece glowed cyan simultaneously. While it would normally have been a difficult task for Rarity to lift an object of that size, after all her specialty is precision, not strength, with all the adrenaline in her the boulder popped up like a feather in a thermal. She brought in over her head, and then saw a separate blue flash dart by. She spun around and saw that the crab was now erratically shooting blue lasers from it's right claw. One narrowly zipped past her and singed her mane, causing her to scream once again.

"AAAAAA! It shoots laser beams, THE CRAB SHOOTS LASER BEAMS!"

Rainbow Dash chuckled and said "I know, isn't it awesome? I wish I could do that!"

As Rainbow swerved to dodge another beam Rarity brought her face and hoof together and groaned. At last Rainbow Dash deduced she was far enough ahead to gather enough momentum to smash a crab with a wall to the face, so she turned around. Crab and ponies charged together. Rarity looked at the crabs left claw and noticed Sweetie Belle was no longer screaming. She was staring back at her. Her face was full of fear, but it was a different type of fear, it was desperation, and also hope. Sweetie Belle needed Rarity to smash that crab and save her, and she had faith that she could. That gave Rarity the strength she needed, and with a most unladylike yell she throw that wall into that crab's face with all her might. The combined force of the crab's running, Rarity's throw, and Rainbow's flying were great, and Rarity grinned as she heard a sickening crunch. Without stopping Rainbow Dash squealed "I did it, I smashed that freaking crab! Take that you stupid crab!"

Rarity glared down at her, and Rainbow Dash nervously chuckled. With a gulp she said "Er, I mean we smashed that giant freaking crab." Rarity sighed, and declared "I need to see if my sister is safe, either land or turn around."

There celebration was soon cut short. As Rainbow turned something struck her side, knocking her out of the sky. When they hit the ground Rarity tumbled off of her friends back and her face was buried into the ground. With a grown she stood up and brushed the dirt off of her. She searched for Rainbow Dash, and found the pegasus softly moaning nearby. She noticed her wing was burnt. Rarity turned around, dreading what she would see. Sure enough it was wall that cracked, not the crab, which was shuffling off into the distance with Sweetie Belle in tow.

Rarity wasn't ready to give up, so she galloped after it. However, with her previous exertion and injuries she soon exhausted herself. As she came to a stop she yelled out "This isn't the end, crab!" and collapsed to the ground. She was helpless to watch as the giant freaking crab faded away in the distance.

Comments ( 18 )

omg cliffhanger sequel pleas omg

a giant crab that shoots lazer beams
mkay

Who's in the mood for crab cakes?

obligatory CRAB BATTLE!!!!!! URGH!!!

lol! for those of you who don't get the reference.

As i go, have a pinkie! :pinkiesmile:

Twilight: Sure is nice to see you guys again. But I sure can’t help but feel that someone’s missing.
Spike: Oh yeah, Rarity!
Twilight: What do you think she’s up to?
Spike: Probably something girly.

Spike: Like her hair.

I think the sequel, if any, might have to involve a giant freaking crab... in socks.

People actually like this? Lol.

2385083

You do realize that the story is incomplete....

2386143

It also has a juice box, and Rarity has a wet mane. :rainbowkiss:

2385539

Oh yesh, crab fighting metal! :flutterrage:

2385502

That was hilarious. :pinkiecrazy:

Flip it on its back to hit its weak spot for massive damage, Rarity!

I found this.

I like you

Lasers. Really? Lasers. :ajbemused:
Anyway, nice story. Would like to see just how much destruction happens when Rartiy catches up to that crab, though.

Wasn't expecting lasers, but still a good story. I always wonder, why do people always mention or show Rarity fighting a giant crab anyway?:applejackunsure:

4506705

It's an art meme. It started from a guy requesting the image a bunch, then it spread on it's own.

Putting this story in my ‘Tracking’ list. It probably won’t ever get updated, seeing as it’s been over seven years, but I’m putting it in the list anyways. If there’s ever a second chapter, I don’t want to miss it.

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