Shining Armor finds Twilight's secret diary and he doesn't read it... for about 5 seconds.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well this is bizarre.
That first image of Twilight under the covers? I have that open in another window as *ahem* 'inspiration' for a story I'm about to write, and I see something is posted on my favorites list!
I click it and the very first thing that pops up! Twilight under the covers.
I call it fate.
3676020 It does have graphic sex. But it is much more than just that.
SPOILER!
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3676031 How can it be a spoiler if it's already in the chapter?
3676032 If someone reads the comments first. Which they shouldn't. I guess they would have no one to blame but themselves in that case. So no, you're not at fault then. My bad. But anyway, to answer your question: She was punished.
Just... in a very unorthodox way.
3676042 Huh, I thought the comments section was where we could discuss what happened in the chapter. Yeah, it was punishment, but punishment by rape all the same. Don't know how Luna could just brush things off so quickly. And now.... Celestia must die! To do that to your own sister.... Unless I'm missing something (I hope I am).
3676051 Those ponies have cards that they're not showing. Nothing has been 'brushed off'.
3676057 I....... don't even know what that means.......
3676078 They have a secret AGENDA!
May I say that I love Princess Luna's personality here. If it had happened at night, brought a smile to my face!
3676104 I'm just going to hope for a happy ending for everyone.
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and face down trap cards..
OH SNAP!!!!!!!
Just gonna say, those Talks are gonna be awkward, also I wonder how Cadence is going to respond to what Shining armor's been doing?
So....Luna got gangbanged.. Ok.
If Celestia has her eye on Twilight she has another thing coming.
Also, the scene where the mane 6 thought they killed Twilight was hilarious.
The only pony in this story who hasn't gotten laid is Celestia.
Once again, you provide us fans with another excellent chapter... And do I sense the presence of feces impacting a set of rotating air movement devices?
3676020 This does have sex in it yes, but this also is one of the best comedies I have read in ages. Just sit back, read it all, and enjoy, cause it is damn worth it.
The Luna part seems to be absolutely not part of this... it doesn't even really fit. Was that a mistake?
3676859 I edited it out.
3677104
Well I'll be awaiting it. It's just that entire segment really threw me off and it was a tone i rather wasn't expecting.
But, I have faith!
Small typos:
EDIT
And they are fixed now.
PS.
Good ending edits in #17.
the transition to celestia dealing with a prisoner in the castle dungeons immediately after the scene of twi worrying about what she would do to her is she found out she was pregers with shining had me getting quite disturbed and enraged.....
...until we found out it was luna that was being bound down there , then all the arousal cometh fourth c:< ....
and even without reading up to it yet i already know what you're going to include in the text for an image link since you love to keep doing that so much , danm i wanted to see some continuation of that pic ever since i got it , but i guess including it in a story will have to do :/ .......
.....aaaand just as my doubt had predicted , you didn't use that pic after all , oh well....
i prefer the pic where when shining runs up to twi he fully cums on her face and she goes 'brother did you really just cum on me' and then he says the line and everyone's ok with it ^^ ......
also >am super sad the stuff between celestia and luna didn't last any longer than it did , you tease me way to much with that.......
3676859 Have to agree....
Disregarding that for the moment, this was an extremely funny chapter with one hell of a cliff-hanger. Nice job!
... another chapter, sweet jeebus
I died
Hey! I had exactly the same idea (but with different characters) in my not yet published clopfic (which I am totally not procrastinating for a year)
*sigh* Sorry for blowing up like that. This is a good story... rape is just something that strikes a nerve with me. Other than the rape scene I like this fic.
Now that was EPIC!
Shining's dream at the start was hilarious. For a minute I thought it was real and Twilight had just decided they were caught and they were going to have to tell their parents sooner or later. And then pregnant! I believed that too But I guess that would need a much longer story to play out, unless it turned out as a miscarriage. Love the reference to Flim and Flam
And that's why Twilight was so happy she had to sing that morning Excellent blending of canon and fiction. And "liquid pride"! I can't believe I didn't see that coming. You've had that planned from the get-go haven't you? Finally I know where you get your drive to write so fast, with such a glorious pun waiting at the end
Luna's punishment was excessive, IMO, but on the other hand she kind of deserved it after being so rape-happy throughout the entire story. But Celestia doesn't know about her interactions with Shining, does she?
And poor Cadence What a way to find out about your husband cheating. Now can Shiny and Twilight talk their way into a threesome, or is there a divorce on the horizon?
I love all the picture links you include in this story. And since you skipped the scene with Celestia in the astral place, I'm going to assume this happened (Warning, NSFW!) http://derpibooru.org/422057?scope=scpe3d2078d313027a2067e597eedd50c32407a13bb0
Now it seems like things can conceivably be wrapped up in a single chapter. But that doesn't mean I won't want more But I guess seeing new stories from you will be almost as good Especially if there are more like that TwiMac story... if you know what I mean
And finally, typos (let me know if it's annoying when people point them out... just trying to be helpful)
followed
we
missing close quote
raging
...speaking of which, Shining really needs to get a new uniform with room for that thing
I think my head just exploded, in more ways than one.
powet.tv/powetblog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/my_little_pony_friendship_is_magic_twilight_sparkle-300x168.jpg
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3677492 Fixed. Thank you both for the help. I appreciate it.
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MAJOR EDIT:
After careful retrospective, I realized that I had crossed the line of edgy and tasteless. Therefore I went back through the last three chapters and cleaned out the darker elements. I restructured the overarching story outline to work just fine without them. (Changed some secret motives and agendas.)
TLDR: Cut out the rape scene(s).
3678300 Also, I did consider using that image inspired scene, but ultimately it would have messed up the established character dynamics. Maybe I'll use it later on down the road as a one-shot.
If you're good.
3677493 Oh, believe me, I was originally going to have that scene play out like that [NSFW] image verbatim. But someone made me promise not to do that. But I think I found a fair middle ground.
3678402 danmitall....
3678372 Thanks man. Glad to see you're a guy who cares about his... fans? Followers? I don't know.
3678437 Well sure! To paraphrase George Harrison: "Who am I without you (my fans)?"
3678372 I don't remember a rape scene... Who raped who? (Also, I read the chapters as the come out, so its just my horrible memory)
3679664 Ch.18 had one. And ch. 17 to a lesser extent. But I edited them out.
another awesome chapter
I saw this updated and knew only one more chapter was planned so I was sad that it would be ending. Then I saw it still marked as incomplete and did a little happy dance. I know it can't last forever, but is it so bad that I kind of want it to?
3679673 Is it so bad that I kind of want it to?
3678402
Yeah, I agree having Celestia do anything with Twilight would have been too much out of left field and overcomplicate things at this point. But still, sad to waste such a pun I dunno if it would really be that funny as a one-shot, but being my favorite couple, I'd certainly read it anyway
I also agree it was best to do away with that whole Celestia and Luna ick fest. Luna and Shining's story still needs to be wrapped up (I'm still mad at her for the events of chapter 11), but that kind of needed to be dealt with specifically anyway, so the more karmic punishment of the deleted scene wasn't really necessary.
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You always could, but you'd have to change the pace of the story a bit by slowing down the timeline. Cadence and Luna are about to introduce more tension into the story, so you will have something to go off of.
Instead of ending it, just go with that as the primary plot line. Have Twilight and Shining "break up", but still want to be together. Focus on Cadence and Twilights relationship with Shining. Basically no one knows except for 2 princesses who have every reason to keep it a secret. Now that Twilight's a princess, serious shit could go down if ponies find out she's fucking her married brother.
You could even dabble a bit in therapy for the siblings, like how Cadence In A Minor did with Cadence and Shining after the changeling invasion. Have Twilight promise Luna to go into therapy, and somehow get Shining and Cadence into the therapy sessions as well. That's a ton of potential for awkward and hilarious conversations. Hell, have Luna join the therapy sessions and let her deal with getting aroused over the thought of Twilight and Shining going at it.
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Nah man, nah. I'd totally be down with you making this gravy train go forever. And by gravy, I mean... well, you can guess.
3678437 By the way, congrats on being the 1,000th comment for this fic.
Poor Cadence, considering she was withholding sex from him she's going to think she's driven him away.
This chapter was a rollercoaster ride and a half. It started so seriously and then suddenly turned hilarious, then turned sexy. After all that it ended in a very sad way, I see lots of pain coming up.
"Morning in Ponyville shimmers!
Morning in Ponyville Shiiines!
And I know for absolute certain,
that everything is certainly fine!"
..... fuck. you.
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We are going to see Luna face justice for raping Shining, right? That hasn't been forgotten about has it?
Oh sure, cheating on your husband is just fine and dandy, but find out he's been cheating too and suddenly everything's terrible.