When Twilight Sparkle asks Rainbow Dash to come over to her house, Dash does not want to go. However, she does not want to hurt Twilight's feelings, so she uses the Mirror Pool to get another Rainbow Dash that can go to Twilight's.
Things go crazy when her friends accidentally make copies of themselves.
This is my first fan-fic. Please comment!
Thanks to Barnabi for proof-reading
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Alright, please believe me when I say I'm not trying to be mean, but...
Have you ever read a book? From the style this is written it is doesn't seem you have. The story has almost no description of anything that's happening, and it bounces all over the place.
It did actually entertain me, but that doesn't make it good. I just like strange things, and this qualifies.
I would suggest that you read some books, or at least some good fanfiction, and pay close attention to how the writers unfold the scene. Look at the way the words and paragraphs flow, and compare them to your story. Then try and write more like that.
If you want a crazy, random story that's all over the place, that's fine. You can still achieve that, but you have to do the scene setting for it.
2298640
Well, I can't argue with the fact that this needs more detail, so I edited the beginning of Chapter 1. Not perfect but good enough.
Some actual encouragement would be nice.
It's kinda fast paced, but i like the concept. At ch2 atm, will finish reading tomorow. For now, it's time for me to go to bed.
Btw fast paced stories usually end up with little/no emotional attachment to the characters, and little time for the reader to take in the jokes.
2336403
Yeah, I knew that about the jokes part. Thus, I decided not to add the Comedy tag to this fic! Hooray for my logic!
P.S. Anyway, anypony else notice that there are so little comments I managed to reply to all of them so far?
2343130 Yeah i noticed the lack of comments on this fic too and have come up with 3 possibility's for the reason:
1. You stole it. (Just kidding, Spongebob joke)
2. You need to get more tags in there.
3. You need to get this story moved into a group. (I think this one is the most likely to be the cause of the lack of views/comments on this fic, so find a an MLP Clone Fic group and squeeze this in there.)
P.S. I am unable to use emoticons atm. (on phone)
2343968
Hmm... Tags... What can I use? This can't be a slice of life story... I'm not good at writing romance... I can't think of enough jokes to make this a comedy... I'm not good at writing sad, tragedy, or dark either... Oh well, looks like until I learn how to write better, this fic is going to be unpopular!
Or maybe I'll find a group...
2348423 Well your best bet at another tag would be either comedy or dark. (Just saying)
And i did a couple of google searches and i could not find a clone fic group, so it's either still in the making or noone really saw the need for one (or it already exists and i stink at google fimfiction searches). If it does not exist you can consider making it, just remember to consult the FAQ/forums and/or other Fimfiction users/admins first.
If you do not want to make the group then you can just set this fic in the Rainbow Dash group in the meantime.
2348423 Oh and umm p.s. If you place this fic in a group like the Rainbow Dash group you will be bound to get lots of critique on it. So just be prepared for that if you opt to place it in that group.
And p.s.s. My phone will not allow me to edit my last reply any further, which is why i wrote this in a seperate reply, and my pc is not broken it's just i choose not to use it for Fimfiction. I read and review all fics via my phone.
2349377
Yeah, this fic doesn't really star Rainbow Dash as the most main character, so instead I decided to put it in the 'Struggling Authors' group, in the 'Stories that want feedback' folder. Good enough.
2355561Good idea and good luck with this and future fics.
-Madway out.
Interesting concept.. I like it.
And the award for the most anticlimactic ending goes to...
You!
2394253
Hooray for me!
*Realises what anticlimactic means*
Never mind.
2410313
Meh, still a good story.
Sorry, but your submission to the Good Grammar Directory has failed. Here are the errors you must fix in order to make it in:
There should be no comma after "but."
This should be:
This should be:
This should be: