TipsyTwilight
Joined 19th Sep, 2012 ·
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I liked it. Nice job.
Damn, tumbleweed. That was sweet.
Good to see you finally managed to get one out, Tipsy. Good lass.
The fact that this isn't Featured demotivates me as a writer and my complete existence.
Hmm. Interesting. Like the concept and AJ and RD are sweet with each other. And I'm TOTALLY being speaking from personal experience when I say this, but at the beginning when AJ is staring into the sky to avoid looking down...As someone who is afraid of heights (and this just might be me), sometimes staring up to the sky or ceiling to avoid looking down makes things worse - it punctuates the severity of the situation. For looking into the sky, it's just one big void you never stop falling into. *shudders* Not that I've ever been on a cloud before or anything....that would be awesome.
Anyways, I think the story could do with a little more editing. Maybe slow down the story a little more, and add some more on the clop. I like the relationship you have going on between the two. I think there may have been more you could have done with AJ's fear of heights...it could have been longer - more intense. I mean, being faced with your fears are a very intense experience, and Rainbow might not be prepared for how strongly AJ would react. Being teased about a fear while experiencing it can feel damaging to the person...or in this case, pony...and can bring up issues of trust that RD didn't expect. I mean, that feeling like you could fall at any second, the clamminess in your hands, the feeling in the pit of your stomach like when you're on a rollercoaster, when in fact, you're not even moving. *shudders* WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME THINK OF FEARS?! =P Then having to calm down someone who is afraid...getting them to relax, to know there is nothing wrong...
Bah, I'm getting too into the "fear" aspect of this. I'll just shut up, now.
It's not a bad first effort at clop! Very sweet, actually! Happy writing!
It was nice. Could use some more describing though.
1880289 Nah. Shoosh. There are other things worth featuring. I happy I got comments. :)
1880328 Thanks for the long comment.
I did think a little about that, especially the looking up. Not having that fear myself (Well, any more so than the average person fears to be up high) I wasn't sure if it would help or make it worse.
And thanks. I'll be thinking about stuff like this from now on.
1880451 Yesyes, it could. I was shocked how short it was when I imported it (GDocs makes everything seem longer to me.) Next time there will be.
Weird incentives are best incentives
I always loved stuff like this! Even though i prefer raridash, I can still enjoy this pairng. Very good for a first story.
short and sweet, i like it
Wonderful character interaction- I love the banter between them and the competitive tension you set up in their relationship. The slow pacing fits the mood so well, and your descriptions are detailed but flow smoothly.
The rest? *koff koff* Um... very nice.
I love it
2100956 Yet again you prove the master
2100956 You are hurtful and also
Constant
An ok fic, but not the basis I would use, as if you're faced with your fear in that situation you need somesort of proof that you'll stay safe no matter what.
/5
1880328 Don't know if this'll help, but I got over my fear of heights long ago by going rock climbing and deliberately looking down every 20 - 30 feet i climbed.
The first few times I admit I froze up, but as the weeks went by it got easier. I still have trouble with heights now, but at least I can look out a window 6 - 7 stories up and not panic anymore. Hope this helps
2879384 I totally get the whole extreme facing your fear head on approach to getting over a fear, but......yeah, no, I can't do that. ^_^; Maybe some day, but for now, I'm gunna just....now. Thanks, though!
I afraid of heights too,goosebumps are around me when i see something from the skies.
ITS LIKE DEATH IS GOING TO PUSH THE FUCK OUT OF ME.
I would much rather look down than up. It's all right looking down, because you can judge the distance between you and the ground. When you look up... not only do you not see how far you have to fall, but also... what the hell are you standing on? Where's the ledge? Are you gonna fall off?