• Published 13th Dec 2012
  • 3,542 Views, 38 Comments

Mechwarrior: Equestria - faktopus

MLP/Mechwarrior crossover. Giant robots, little ponies - what could possibly go wrong?

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Chapter 2: Vehicular Treeslaughter

*****Chapter 2: Vehicular Treeslaughter*****

"Well fuck."

Alex leveled his gauss rifle, taking aim at the mutant horse, It seemed to recoil a bit when his aim crossed her path. He caught this reaction, hesitating for a moment as he and the creature shared a sort of moment. Peering into each other's eyes, Alex could see years in those pink orbs. They looked old, yet so full of life.

The horse hovered there, transitioning from surprise to a sort of challenge. They stared each other down, Alex peering down the sights of his gauss rifle, the horse hovering slightly above him. Alex broke first, firing a gauss round into the air over the horse's shoulder. It recoiled away from the ionized trail of the slug.

Alex seized the opportunity, spinning and dropping into his Hunchback while the horse regained its senses. Spinning the Mech's reactor up as he plugged the coolant hoses back into his vest and slid his targeting visor down. Jessica spun on a dime, bringing every laser to bear on the spot where the demon horse had just been.

It was gone.

"Roughnecks watch motion sensors, we're not alone out here," he hissed into his mic. One by one he watched as his lance spun around in place, scanning the tree line for any movement. "Hold fire until we figure out if they're friendly or not," Alex added as an afterthought. No sense in murdering possible allies on this ass backwards planet of killer trees.

-----Everfree Tree line-----

"What was that, sister!?" Luna hissed from behind her tree. Her sister had attempted to contact the thing that had crawled out of the beast. It was much smaller, similar in body style as the beast that it had emerged from. She knew she'd seen it before, but couldn't put her hoof on where or when.

"A. . . human," Celestia was surprised, as well as immensely worried. The man had clearly fired a weapon at her, and it had been over a thousand years since she'd seen one on Equis.

It had startled Celestia more than anything, she was not truly scared, a simple shield spell could've stopped the projectile. The sound and light produced by the weapon had given the man enough time to dive back into the hole atop the beast.

As it turned around, the other three behemoths turned with it. Large cannon barrels swept the tree line, searching for her presumably.

The sisters stayed crouched behind the tree, sensing the staggering amount of raw power contained within the towering monsters. A few glowing red lights dotted the torso and legs of them, and the two bird like short ones turned and trotted around the clearing. Each of their long strides enough to travel half a city block in Canterlot.

Minutes passed. The behemoths appeared to regroup, the largest and one of the small ones turning back toward the middle of the clearing. The two facing her, the second largest and the second small one, angled their cannons upward, and the middle sized one kneeled toward the tree line. Its torso seemed to tilt forward, and Celestia could feel the raw magical power within it decrease greatly.

-----Roughneck Lance-----

Alex powered down his Hunchback, ordering his lance to appear as non-threatening as possible. He popped the rear hatch of his Mech, descending a few meters before jumping three or so to the forest floor.

"You still out there?" Alex shouted, cringing inwardly. Well shit, if they're hostile at least I have three Mechs to cover my sorry ass Alex thought. The horn on that white horse looked like it could do some serious damage.

-----Everfree Tree line-----

Luna's ears perked up, hearing a muffled thud on the forest floor.

"You still out there?"

Luna froze. That voice brought with it several memories from the last human that they'd met. She was eager to meet these new arrivals, but if her old friend's warnings had been valid, they could be quite dangerous.

Slowly, Luna crept out from behind the trees. Celestia's breath hitched as she watched her sister move forward, not knowing if the man had his weapon or what his plan was. Luna seemed almost giddy with excitement though.

-----Roughneck Lance-----

Lauren bit her nails, watching through her aft facing camera as Alex exited his Mech. She wasn't about to let her lance lead just sit out there with no cover, however, and had engaged the manual controls on her LAMS to cover the unguarded pilot as best she could.

Alex was nervous, waiting for some response with no weapons and no immediate cover. A dark blue horse stepped out in front of him. This one also had wings and a horn, but stood easily a foot or two shorter than the Mechwarrior. It seemed excited, almost eager looking as it slowly came out from behind the tree. Alex smiled awkwardly, waving his right hand a bit and flashing it the peace sign with his fingers and offering a meek, "Hi."

This thing had to be female, if the excited 'squee' that escaped her mouth was any indication. Her smile broadened as Alex offered the greeting, and began to prance in place as the white one came out from a tree a few meters away. He noticed the white horse was smaller than he'd initially thought, her eyes sat about at his chin, and her horn was just long enough to give her a couple centimeters on the Mechwarrior.

"Oh. . . hey," Alex hesitated, "Sorry for, uh, shooting at ya and stuff." Alex slapped his comm. unit as the snickering of the twins danced over the airwaves. They took the hint and promptly shut the hell up.

"It is. . . not a problem -," the white one trailed off, a searching look crossing her face as she inquired as to the Mechwarrior's name.

Alex hesitated, glancing at his lance mates' Mechs before turning back to the regal horse before him. "My name's Alex," he replied, earning a groan from Zach.

"Sir, you sure it's a good idea to let them know who we are?" he griped, Alex rolled his eyes, putting a finger to his ear to reply.

"Calm down, Zach. I'm sure if they wanted to hurt us they'd have ambushed me before we got to exchanging pleasantries." He saw the white horse nod calmly.

The white one smiled, "My name is Princess Celestia, and this is my sister, Princess Luna. I must admit, it's been over a millenium since I've welcomed a human to Equestria." Alex raised an eyebrow, about two hundred and thirty six questions flying through his mind. Before he could ask, however, Luna spoke up.

"Celly~," she whined, "I'm more than capable of introducing myself you know."

Alex could hear Lauren break into a fit of giggles upon hearing Luna call Celestia by the pet name. Simultaneously, Celestia's face erupted into a deep blush.

"I was simply making introductions, Princess Luna," Celestia growled.

Alex noticed the emphasis on the word 'princess'. It was there as a hint to the other horse to quit acting so childish. Yeah, like that would happen. Alex chuckled under his breath before nodding at the two.

"It is a pleasure to meet you both," Alex said, loosening up a little more now that he felt his life wasn't in immediate danger. He motioned to the rest of his lance, clicking his mic to let them know that it was okay for them to turn around.

Both princesses stared up in awe as the Highlander and second Cougar turned around to face the group. Their eyes darted across the various weapons that were now facing their little get together.

"If you would like, we can give you a ride out of here," Alex offered hesitantly, scratching the back of his neck as he did so. "We just had a little run in with the local flora, this place doesn't seem to like us much, and we should probably find a safe place to talk before going into more detail."

Looking behind the giants, Celestia noted the gnarled and twisted vines. They were smashed, burned, and the scene looked like any battlefield she'd ever seen.

Luna darted forward, knocking Alex flat on his ass as she approached him. "WE MAY ACCOMPANY YOU IN YOUR GIANTS!?" the princess bellowed, knocking Alex back a couple feet and causing him to grasp at the muddy ground for some stability.

Alex was surprised. That much volume out of a being that small could be considered a less-than-lethal weapon to many law enforcement agencies around the Inner Sphere. In his eyes, she had no right to run that kind of firepower, like a Jenner sporting six lasers, she just didn't seem to have the internal space. He could do nothing but nod slowly, a full minute passed by as he waited for the ringing to recede from his ears.

Lauren suddenly called from the top of Nessie, "If she's riding with you, Alex, the other should probably ride with someone that KNOWS what they're doing!" Lauren giggled and waved as Celestia looked up at the new voice, clearly surprised to find her sitting atop her Mech.

"Fine by me," Alex shrugged, motioning toward Celestia, "Sound good to you, ma'am?"

"Y- yes," Celestia stammered, breaking her mask of indifference for the first time in many months. She was definitely outside her comfort zone, but she was letting her curiosity for the magical behemoths overrule her worry, and to some degree, her professionalism.

Alex ascended his access ladder again, motioning for Luna to follow him as he entered the cockpit. Luna had a bit of trouble getting in the cockpit, having to twist awkwardly to fit through the hatch. She looked entirely too excited as she beheld the screens and controls that Alex was seated in front of. She never left his side as he powered up his Mech, and he didn't miss the slight wince as he spun Jessica's reactor up to power. Luna rattled off questions as to the nature of the Mech.

Alex couldn't understand most of the questions, preferring to tune the overzealous princess out as he merely followed the direction her hoof pointed. He glanced over at Lauren's Mech, hoping that she was having more luck with her passenger.

Celestia was about as nervous as she was when Nightmare Moon had returned. Sitting inside the beast was incredible, but the constant nag of magic energy would be enough to drive a pony insane if they spent too long near it. Even now, Celestia was fighting off a headache and slight numbness in the base of her wings.

This beast, Nessie, was the largest of the four, stomping through the Everfree and swatting ancient trees out of its way as it went along. Celestia decided to ask a few questions to the strange creature sitting in front of her, “What is your name?”

Lauren turned, she had forgotten that the ivory horse was even there. “Lauren,” she chirped, accenting her words by grasping a meter wide tree with one of Nessie’s hands and snapping the sturdy plant in half.

Lauren winced as she did so, such exertion was not good for the articulated joints of her Highlander’s hand, and she didn’t exactly have the resources available to make repairs at the moment.

“Why is Nessie destroying the trees?” Celestia asked after a moment, inching toward the Mechwarrior and nearly whispering beside her head. She wasn’t sure if Nessie could hear them speaking inside her, and was extremely frightened of the beast.

Lauren smirked, “Cause I tell her to.”

“And why does she listen to you?” Celestia was completely confused. Why would such a powerful being allow these smaller ones to reside within them, let alone command them.

Lauren lost it at that point. Finally realizing that the Princess actually thought that Nessie was a living organism capable of rational thought, or any thought beyond firing computer calculations.

“Cause ol' Nessie here is a Battlemech. A 90 ton hulking machine built with one purpose in mind: heavy combat,” Lauren smirked. War was something she was good at, as was sarcasm, snappy comebacks, and all around ball busting.

Celestia shut up instantly. The four beasts suddenly taking on a much more sinister appearance as their origins became a little less clouded.

Lauren smirked as she glanced over her shoulder to see the ‘Princess’ visibly shrink back into her seat. She flicked a couple switches on an accessory console, bringing up a music list, and keyed up an old Terran artist, Devildriver: Before The Hangman’s Noose.

Lauren had to fight back laughter as Celestia cringed at the noise, especially since the first words of the song were, "It's- a good- day- to fucking DIE!"

The old Terran artists really knew how to put anger into their songs, and the beat often lined up quite well with the heavy thudding of 90 tons of death. She wished she could’ve been alive back then, to see those artists live.

Meanwhile, Luna was overdosing on excitement, as the thrill of Mech riding was not lost on her. Her super-hyper state was clearly a danger to those around her as she tossed her head around, trying to get a good look at every single surface of the Mech cockpit.

Alex sighed, feeling a migraine coming on. He tuned her out for the most part, staring at the forest ahead, hoping for a sign of civilization. In his frustration, he accidentally kicked a large tree, causing it to burst into splinters and topple under the Mech's massive weight.

Roughneck lance marched on. Noon passed by, and soon, evening was fast approaching. Alex guessed it had to be at least a week since they had started marching, but in reality, it was the same day, and the clock over his head read 1600. He sighed, once again shrugging off another fusillade of questions from Luna, and closed his eyes for a moment.

“What is the purpose of this button?” he heard Luna’s question, and grumbled something unintelligible in response. Opening his eyes, his stomach did a few back flips. Before he could say anything, do anything, or think anything more than: ‘OH SHIT’, Luna's hoof flicked the little red switch.

A blue ball of plasma shot forward from the Hunchback’s right shoulder, carving through trees as anything unlucky enough to be caught within a meter of the projectile suddenly burst into flames.

Luna gave a pained gasp, closing her eyes against the sudden burst of magical pressure. She fought the darkness for a few moments, but proceeded to collapse, giving Alex a much needed rest from the constant questions cascading from the dark blue alicorn's mouth.

“The FUCK was that, Alex!?” Came a startled outburst from the radio. 100 meters ahead, Lauren’s Highlander had just eaten a certain ball of energy with an armored shoulder, and a certain Mechwarrior was not at all happy about the damage.

It had been a grazing hit, not entirely melting off the armor, but the liquid metal had run down the shoulder joint, effectively limiting the arm’s range of motion, and making her gauss rifle about as useful as a torso mounted weapon.

“Sorry, civilian interference,” came the reply, half annoyed, half amused that the naive little Luna had gotten the usually stone cold Lauren so rustled up.

“Yeah, well that civilian owes me a new fucking SHOULDER!” Alex recoiled from the sheer volume of the angry woman. Swearing he could hear her even without the headset on.

Celestia nearly lost it herself. She had felt the intense magic approaching, and panicked when Nessie slumped forward and heat poured into the cramped cockpit. Honestly, Lauren was worried a bit, the horse had no protection from the heat of the Mech, and she didn’t need foreign royalty dying of a heat stroke while in her care.

Celestia was hyperventilating in the corner of the cramped cockpit, sucking ‘water’ from the hose that Lauren had offered. The liquid tasted metallic and stale, nothing like the fresh streams of Equestria.

Celestia glanced out the windshield again, noticing that the magic ball had carved a clean path through the trees and they were mere moments from exiting the forest. She sighed in relief as the four ‘Mechs’ stomped through the final row of trees, looking out on a small field with a settlement on the other side. Her blood ran cold as she saw the rest of the projectile’s path.


Several houses were on fire, and a neat little charred hole was carved through the center of town hall. Celestia gulped, praying silently that nopony was injured as the four Mechs came to a halt.

-----Ponyville: 5 minutes prior-----

Twilight Sparkle was strolling down the street, the last few days had passed incredibly slowly. She had not received any correspondence from Canterlot recently aside from a notification that her brother had been hospitalized, suffering from a severe case of magic overdose.

She passed by Pinkie Pie, sighing as the fluffy mare continuously opened and shut a small mailbox, excitement and then disappointment flashing across her bedraggled features with each motion. Rainbow Dash was off at the Wonderbolts academy, closer than ever before to achieving her dream of joining the legendary flight team.

Twilight was currently on her way to see Fluttershy, she was worried about Pinkie, and thought that Fluttershy might be able to get through to the distraught pony. As she walked, the events of the previous morning were still nagging at her mind, the shooting star seemed somehow unnatural to her, and her curiosity soon had her lost in thought as she retrieved Fluttershy. The pair began their walk to Sweet Apple Acres, where their friend Applejack lived.

Twilight's musings were rudely interrupted by a sudden pressure in her head, she turned in time to watch what looked like a cross between a beach ball and a lightning bolt come flying from the edge of the Everfree Forest and slam into several houses before dissipating somewhere in the third floor of town hall.

She immediately began to panic, but the magical pressure in her head urged her to remain focused. Thinking quickly, she let out a beam of energy straight into the air to rid her body of the excess energy, and galloped toward the center of town. Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be found, and the rest of her friends were too far away to even notice. Fluttershy was clearly fighting back tears, scared to pieces of whatever had made such a destructive spell.

-----Roughneck Lance-----

The four remaining Roughnecks lined up at the edge of the forest, gazing at the small town that had nearly been decimated by Luna's little mishap with the PPC firing controls. Alex pressed his palm against his forehead, or would've, if the visor of his neurohelmet hadn't been in the way.

Luna snored lightly behind him, mumbling and giggling in her sleep. Alex was sure that, if the sounds had been made into edible food, he would've had diabetes within seconds. He turned his attention forward once again, and keyed his mic.

"Roughnecks, forward. Slowly. Reassign unit numbers, Zach, Kerry, you are now Two and Three. Lauren, you're four," he said, putting emphasis on 'slowly'.

"Roughneck 2: good copy."

"Roughneck 3: wilco."

"Roughneck 4: you got it, and sir, the Princess seems to be having a mild emotional breakdown."

Alex let out a half chuckle/sigh. He could hear the white horse in Lauren's cockpit, shouting about how dangerous that was and how Alex would be sorry for endangering her subjects like this and yada - yada - yada. Apparently she hadn't received the memo that it had been Luna that hit the shiny red button.

All four Mechs stomped forward, scanning for hostiles out of habit before coming to a halt roughly 50 meters away from the outermost buildings. A pink blur caught Alex's eye, he rotated Jessica's torso to the left to get an eye on it. What he saw made him pause for a moment.

A small animal, bright pink, with a cannon that was almost bigger than it was. It was wearing a camouflaged helmet, and he could see that it was aiming the weapon at him.

Alex winced as the cannon flashed, jerking his Mech back to the right to absorb the projectile with his left shoulder. "WHAT THE FUCK!?" He shouted, what kind of infantry attacks a Mech solo!?

After a few seconds of nothing happening, Alex opened his eyes. From his mech hung streamers, balloons, and most surprisingly, plates of cake, cookies, and other food items were balanced perfectly on the flatter surfaces of the Hunchback.

Lauren lost it, laughing hysterically through her headset before yelping as a flash of white light emanated from her cockpit windows.

Alex turned back to face his attacker, knocking half a ton of party food from his Mech. He did a double take as Celestia was suddenly in front of the pink thing, which now appeared to be like her, only without wings or a horn. Celestia appeared to be scolding the pink thing, and Alex immediately felt sorry for the little one as she shrunk away from the imposing princess.

Luna stirred behind him, looking around with the most confused face ever to exist in Equestria.

"What. . . happened?" She spoke slowly, trying to regain her bearings.

"You touched a damn button that's what, and furthermore, that button happened to be the trigger for my damn PPC!" Alex shouted, immediately feeling guilty as Luna shrunk back and hid her face behind a wing. She seemed to perk up suddenly, and another brilliant flash was issued from the Mech Lance.

Alex did a triple take this time, Luna wasn't there anymore. . . she was down with Celestia and the Pink thing!

"I don't like any of this shit, sir," came a nervous voice over the Lance Comm. Kerry was definitely on edge, and if it weren't for the two larger Mechs, he probably would've run off by now.

His brother, on the other hand, was not so laid back as to watch as the two Princesses appeared out of thin air.

"Sir, something about this is fucked. They have man operated lasers that can cleave a Mech's leg off, they can fucking TELEPORT, and we are just trusting them like this? No fucking way, not today."

"Stow it, Zach," Alex growled, "We don't know what shot that laser at us earlier, and they had plenty of opportunity to burn both Lauren and myself while they were in here with us. Knock it off and stay focused."

"With all due respect, sir," Zach sneered back, "What in the fuck COULD have shot that laser earlier? If it was some other wild animal or something, I'm not fucking buying it. They are just waiting to slaughter us until we're outside our Mechs."

Zach's Cougar stomped forward a few meters, getting a clear line of sight on the Princesses.

"Get back in formation Roughneck 2. At least wait until we've talked to them. I seriously doubt that they could take a Mech lance, just wait until we can talk with them a little more, then we'll make a decision." Alex growled, putting his own Mech between the scout and the Princesses.

Kerry was stunned. He knew that his brother was a hard headed fool sometimes, but even he wasn't stupid enough to go against Alex. He already knew that Lauren would step in on Alex's side, she had always had a thing for Zach, even though she would never admit it out loud. That attraction would never get in the way of her duty to the Widowmakers and Roughneck Lance though.

Kerry opened a private comm. channel to his brother, "Zach, what the fuck are you doing?" He hissed, "Even the two of us couldn't take both Alex and Lauren on their worst day! Get your shit straight and power down now! I won't fight you, but I am not about to take a Gauss round for your dumb ass right now!"

"Fine then," Zach growled.

The comm. went dead before Kerry could reply, for a moment he tensed up, fingers hovering over the triggers of his lasers. The Cougar crouched low, entering a hot shutdown. The cockpit hatch popped open, and his brother climbed up on top of his Mech with his own Thunderstroke rifle.

Alex glanced back at the Princesses, both of whom were eyeing the new Mechwarrior cautiously. He noticed the pink pony had disappeared. Confused, he glanced around the clearing, before catching a pink blur rocket up the back of Zach's Cougar.

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Comments ( 17 )

Oh boy... This will not end well.:facehoof:

wait where'd the story go and why? :pinkiegasp:

are you going to use my OC agin:twilightsmile:

That stupid bitch:facehoof:

You took down all the old chapters. I do not agree with that. No. You keep them up and have a note that you have gone back to edit and then transfer every chapter when you catch back up. This is how I do it, and it's how many others do it from when I have asked about such.

If I were just editing, I'd leave them there. As it is, the chapter content is changing drastically, and it would make no sense to read from start to finish.

2997341 I understand that "editing" could be a re-write. But to take it down just ruins it entirely. No, instead, keep them up until the edits are done via something like Google Docs or some outside source. Once ALL of them are done, do one massive switch here and add a note either as a chapter or in the bio that all the chapters have updated and a re-read should be done to truly understand what comes later, if there is more later.

Did you use Black Widow Company as the backers for the Roughnecks?

No? I've seen them around MWO though, played with them 1 match.

3020187 Feel like you did have them in the story. Anyways, I found them as Bravo Whisky Charlie in MWO. They sound awesome. Anyways, dude, we should totally play together sometime.

Sure, my mwo name is the same as it is on fimfic. Just shoot me a pm on here so I know what your name is in mwo, I don't really accept random friend requests.

I miss this story. I remember being so excited when I'd see that a new chapter had been put up; I couldn't wait until I could sit down and read it.

3097286 I couldn't agree more:fluttercry:

Fakky, I miss this story.

a simple shield spell could've stopped the projectile.

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!! That is used against Battle Suits. You'd have been ****ed!

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