Cadance is a young teen pony from Canterlot, AKA best foalsitter ever. Or at least, that's what her poster says. Her business is blooming, and she has a request to foalsit 6 little fillies... All on the same day. Will she crack under pressure, or will the alicorn keep her calm as she babysits the young Mane 6?
This is just a fun story I made within the time of a day. I may have accidentally put some spelling errors here and there. And yes, Luna is there when she should have been on the moon. *points to Alternate Universe tag*
Chapters (1)
Good story, both comedic and cute, which I had expected from the start.
You get 5 mustaches for a job well done.
Edit: deleted my comment by accident. Whoops.
Anyhow, the story is ok.
What it could use is some slowing down in certain places, and more details/sensory details.
The first sentence alone could be improved by adding more descriptive language.
What it could be: Princess Cadance paced back and forth inside her room, of which was located inside the Canterlot Castle.
Idunno. That's what I think. Three and a half mustaches out of five
1/2
Only complaint was having Luna present, unless this is alternative universe Luna should be still stuck on the moon. Remember she was banished for 1,000 years which was still ongoing when the mane six were fillies.
Good job! I liked it. :)
1676578
Oh, dang. Forgot about that. But then again, The Mane 6 didn't meet until later. So what the hay.
1676703
Done and done. Didn't think it would need that at first, as I didn't have the exact ending planned from the start, just a brief idea.
Cadence chillin' with the fillies
somewhere Regidar has a boner.
1676809
SHHHHHH!
You must not speak the name of he who must not be spoken... he has spies everywhere!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f2/Voldemort_in_Movie_1.jpg
1676901
Are you a spy?
1676901 mememaker.net/static/images/memes/1025842.jpg
wanna see her crack
1676945
no... canterlot.net/images/smilies/ponies/mlp-aj-lie.png
1676947
It puts the lotion in the basket?
And now back to the story, somehow I couldn't keep my brain from conjuring an additional scene.
Oh great Lunatia, please except my humble offering!
Lol, my brain is weird.
I loved it!
Bringing up Blueblood reference?
1677363
I'm not sure how to react to this...
1677363
You should write that. I'd totally read it!
Silver out!
"Cadance couldn't find the words to say. She watched as Pinkie Pie made sugar-angles, "
Do you mean angels? Nice and sweet, I liked this.
1676794 Well this actually could be said to be cannon since you can aruge that because they were so young when it happened they don't remember that Cadence foal sat them all at once.
1676568
1679673
Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. However,
since I'm lazyI won't be going back to edit it.and Luna should have been locked in the moon at that time unless this story took place 1000 years before the setting in which the show started.
aside from all of that, fantastic story!
1679342
Lol, I just wanted to maybe get a chuckle out of you
I have actually decided I am going post this with some others into a mini-story collection I hope to post later. Your story will of course be credited and even linked not just to give credit where credit is due and give context but also advertise this fic a bit more, I was sort of disappointed when it didn't quite make it into the feature box though it was in the "hot" list.
my mind during this story:
1681237
Note the Alternate Universe tag ^_^
1687845
Lol, I kid, I kid. That was an amazing parody, I await for it to be posted
New paragraphs for new speakers. Other than that, decent enough.
"Rare-bear?" It sounds like an uncooked bear steak.
for you.
(And one for good luck 
)
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