This is the story of how a rather unpopular human girl gets her life turned upside down, taking her whole home town, as well as a few of its neighbors, along for the positively impossible ride. Dreams really do come true, sometimes, don't they? They just don't always turn out the way we expected.
Criticism is appreciated, as long as its not just because you don't like the concept of my story. If you don't like the idea, that's your problem, not mine. I realize that there are a lot of people who don't like this sort of thing. And don't just down vote it because of the concept either.
I just want to say, that this whole story might suck. If so, I apologize. I also apologize for the fact that I am only allowed to select five boxes for the characters.
Oh, and a last note. I don't consider pony swearing bad, so if you do, you've been warned.
Potential
More potential
Good so far
Interesting
have a pie for now π
Pinkie was perfect
so far it's pretty good keep it up
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MORE
MORE!!!!!!!!!
My deductions so far: You're American and you intend to portray Celestia as (at least something like) a deity. Because (the former) you write a December without snow as odd and you use the term high school without mentioning bullying, (the latter) you hear Celestia's voice responding to your wish with no indication of a tangible presence.
Having first person protagonists transform into alicorns seems particularly egotistic.
Why so many alicorns?!?
1781709 So I take it you have something against Americans?
this is just an idea I've had buzzing around in my head. I'm really determined to finish it too, because recently I've been having troubles with doing that and it's been bugging me.
Sorry...if I'm being offensive, I apologize, but there's nothing wrong with being American or of any other nation.
As for the rest of your comments, yes, I suppose Celestia is something of a deity here. As for the alicorn thing, is it really such a bad thing?
I realize how the whole alicorn thing seems egotistical, but I don't know, I just like writing with them. They're fun and easy, and go against the laws of physics, kinda like writing with Pinkie Pie.
Also, just how much have you read? I'm not looking at what chapters your comments are written on, and if I did that now, I'd lose all this stuff I just wrote.
I'm sorry you don't like my story.
By 'train' I mean the train of the dress.
It's the part that might be shown as the part of the dress that drags on the floor. Chrysalis said to Rarity in "A Canterlot Wedding": "I was hoping for something with more beading and a longer train." I might have spelled it wrong though. And even if I did mean the other kind of train, maybe their technology, in this case trains, evolved in that way a long time ago. The show never said that it didn't.
So, it's not a train as in the mode of transport.
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,
Oh and someone importent said"there is no greater pain then Bering an untold story."
1786560 Words of wisdom.
1787868
MORE
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4833-1335873138037.png
Meanwhile, at the Head Quarters of Science:
Physics: Chemistry, something is disobeying my laws and not using light refraction to create rainbows!
Chemistry: Then we must strike, decisively, like a non-baryonic particle or Astronomies mother.
Meteorology: Lets send the Janitor.
Chemistry and Physics: Yes!
At the League of Overpoweredness:
Morgan Freeman (a.k.a The Narrator): Janitor, you've been summoned by science.
Janitor: But I'm playing Nazi zombies with Captain Overpowered!
Captain Overpowered: I can pause it, we're only at round eighty six million anyway. Barely have to shoot them.
Janitor: Fine! *Teleports to Equestria*
In Equestria:
*Janitor looks around* N'aww FUCK! *Starts cleaning*
2267618 This made me laugh, but I'm not sure if this was a compliment or not.
2267751 It's the Janitor arriving, he's been in Equestria before. He has an irrational hatred towards Pinkie pie because of all the parties he has to clean up.
2267751 Also I noticed something a little stupid, in the chapters she's fretting over what her other friends are, she called them "winged pegasi". Might wanna fix that.
2269297 whoops, it's supposed to be winged unicorns
Hmm... I like the story, only it's a little rushed.
But that isn't the biggest problem.
Can you please make some sections instead of a wall of text it would allow your brain to work properly
Any how good job.