• Member Since 21st Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 15th, 2013

The Writer's Group


The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. ~ David Hothersall

The first author was given a prompt and wrote the first chapter. The second author was given only the first chapter and wrote the second. The third author was given only the second chapter and wrote the third. And so on.

What kind of story are we getting here? Read on to find out.

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 31 )

This is kinda like watching a train ride along a rail, then derail spontaneously onto another rail, and then keep doing so until you realize you're watching a locomotive that moves forward entierly by derailing. :rainbowderp: I'm espescially pleased to see that me introducing ONE character who was kind of a superhero parody resulted in the entire thing turning into some sort of superhero sci fi story. :twilightoops:


Interesting indeed. It almost feels like this is two, or perhaps several, stories in one.

Indeed, what seems to have happened is that it reached some sort of equilibrium and tipped over into an entierly new story.

(Commenting on each chapter as I read.. really no other way...)

Nicely done! Mood and tone feel like a smooth continuation of my opening, and you included some subtle exposition of the previous chapter to which author #3 would otherwise have got no access. Great job! :twilightsmile:

This is interesting in the way information is transported across chapters, and how this reflects on story structure. The first chapter establishes idea of basic synopsys. Second widens it and explores it, and brings crucial information from chapter one with it. Third chapter uses the bag of concepts (that was carefully preserved in prev chapter) to introduce 'complications' in the plot, while fourth paved the way for a climax, still drawing along its heavy luggage of ideas and plot.
Fifth chapter broke away from the tradition of collecting and hauling plot everywhere it went, and introduced new elements to the story, giving a second exposition and setting up a final trampoline, postponing the climax to the next chapter. Sixth chapter fulfilled the climax and tied up (more like threw out) most of the plot, and weakly hinted at a continuation (frankly, I fucked this up; should've given more detail to the hints). Since most of the initial plot baggage is unreachable, and what is known is already wrapped up, we could say that the first 'story' ends here.
(sidenote: sixth chapter was the first place where some details contradict the previous (i.e. the initial) chapters. Whoops.)

If you pay attention, the chapters so far more or less follow dramatic structure (at least, the way I learned it), except for the fifth chapter, which gave a second exposition, but it also gave enough rising action alongside it. After the sixth chapter (point I've read so far), falling action and closure doesn't make much sense, because there are many more authors and chapters to continue the story, so I'm guessing it will continue with exploring the new elements that originally came from the fifth chapter, or come up with completely different stuff and break away even more from previous stuff (which isn't a bad thing in itself).

As of right now, I've only read until the seventh chapter, and it's getting late (01:45), so imma go hit da sack. Will continue analyzing further later on.

I must say, the two main stories we got here seemed to pretty much hit it off. I can honestly say, though, that I had no idea how completely far removed from anything resembling the original prompt things ended up being. Either way, it was definitely enjoyable.

Very audacious. I love the concept and I've run by stories like this before but ones in which the authors knew the story from the beginning and could continue it as they saw fit.

Only up to chapter 6 right now. It's late and time for bed but this definitely gets a thumbs up and a watch.


I concur. I also thought I was chapter 12 out of 20, not 15. Hence the somewhat big build up for something...

And we finally stepped off the deepend, not that last chapter wasn't well on its way there. I'm impressed the first four chapters stayed so unified, honestly. But now its mangled beyond recognition :twilightoops:

It was also interesting to see what genre it jumped to in the end, I don't think its a coincidence that it ended up in Adventure, cus really, we wouldn't have been abl to keep up a horror story told in limited third person, too many perspectives was introduced and not enough information carried across them. IT really needed a more linear pot structure, which it got towards the end. :twilightoops:

I sorta knew this would happen when I introduced the character, I had no idea how long the fact that she was Mayor Mare would travel between chapters, but I knew that as soon as someone forgot to mention it, she'd split off into her own character. In retrospect, I prolly shouldn't have picked a name that implied it was Pinkie :pinkiehappy:, but it was a reference to the mayors pink hair and an explanation for why she'dyes it and is so secretive about it...

With every word I cut you off, off this night, off this life. *slice*
Let every vine be decoupled, all the wrong that you uphold. *slash*
I know you now, you let the weak let out the shriek, *stab*
Erase their mind, embellish them with brownish hide, *cut*
Crowning them with raging thorns, denying them their mortal forms, *jab*
Hiding gentle, soothing matter,
In green blood flowing I now scatter,
Your healing blood I now draw out,
To mend the wrong and clear the doubt,
To make the town I love remember:
I am again, the Pink Avenger!" *slash*

I gotta say, Candlelight, I am VERY pleased that Pink Avenger got her own motto. I am a sucker for superheroes with an "in the name of the moon..."-speech, and this one was completely badass. I wanna write a spinoff story with the pin avenger now. :rainbowdetermined2:

Random reflection: the swedes were the only ones writing over 2k words! :D

Don't judge. I am a very busy man.

1571888 You were chapter 12 out of 20.
But the next one dropped out. 12 out of 19
And the next one. 12 out of 18
And the next one. 12 out of 17
Then the story progressed.
Then another author dropped out. 16 chapters.
And another one. 15 chapters.

Okay, let's continue dissecting this story.

Chapter 7 got bogged down in a fight scene, and it didn't give much thread to go on by, which is in part my fault, because I should've explained the end of chapter 6 more. So since there wasn't much to continue with, chapter 8 chose to break away from srs business and pull the random card. At least it was enjoyable.
Then in chapter 9 the plot was rebooted, the author made a basic setup and left out most of the specifics, so the next author could spin something more grand from it. In chapter 10, some more plot details were added, but the nature of the villain or his grand pland still wasn't revealed fully. Note that this chapter omitted the information about Discord and the mane 6 (which isn't a big problem, and it might have been intentional).
Chapter 11 revealed the villain name (that was genius btw), his nature and intention, and shot a line that will have been quoted in the next chapters. Chapter 12 continued with putting more 'complication' or 'conflict' into the story (I seriously need a better term for this), and setting it up to scale even further. There's a small contradiction with chapter 9, but it doesn't spoil the story.
Chapter 13 and 14 made preparations for the climax, both carrying necessary plot information. What they're missing is the exact nature of the villain and his intentions, which was seemingly not mentioned in chapter 12. Oh well. Kudos on the anagram, though; I laughed after I realized what it was.
Chapter 15, the last chapter as it turned out, had to end the story in a climax with a villain about which the author didn't know much of (a recurring theme it seems). So the last chapter focused on the ending scene only, keeping the reader blindfolded and only gradually revealing the conclusion. Then, a blast, and some falling action to end it peacefully.

I like collabs very much.

Pussies! :trixieshiftright:

Yeah, the theme of this stroy seems to be the degrading of information, how a very clear imagine can turn intoa vauge notion after many rounds of chinese whisper. The funny part is that this is basically the REVERSE of what'd happen in a regular round-robin style collab, where you might at first only have a vauge idea of who the vilian is supposed to be cus the first author hadn't planted more tha na few ideas, and then gradually work towards a more clear view.

What the buck was going on with the point of view there?
Since when was this first person?
Even worse, switching povs in the same sentence?

No! Not Fluttershy!!! :fluttercry:

Thanks for calling my idea of naming the villain "Gestalt" genius. I started giggling when I came up with that idea, and I still haven't stopped.

That was... strange. I was hoping for more plant fluttershy stuff, and then it went WHOO!

If the first author is anything to go by... this is going to be awesome.

What just happened?

Several typos, problems with POVs...

What the actual buck?

But good job. Now I will forever wonder how this story MIGHT have gone if not for this chapter and the last.


My storyyyy... it has been trainwrecked.



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