• Published 6th Nov 2012
  • 1,168 Views, 31 Comments

Gestalt - The Writer's Group



The Writer's Group Collaboration

  • ...
3
 31
 1,168

Funfzehnte

psp7master was given only the fourteenth chapter and was asked to write this fifteenth, final chapter.


Twilight concentrated all her magic, channelling it through her horn. A simple inspecting spell, nothing too elaborate. She closed her eyes, feeling a whirlwind of power building inside her, a whirlwind that might be too difficult to handle, shall something go wrong. She had never felt an emotion so intense; so pure, and so dark at the same time. It seemed as if her magic had somehow got out of her control and was leaded by some mysterious puppeteer concealed in the shadows of her own mind.

Hello, Twilight.

“Huh? Who’s there? Who are you?” the lavender unicorn demanded aloud, making her friends exchange concerned glances.

I am you.

“What are you talking about?!” Twilight was becoming impatient: she had business to do! She had to save her brother, and the whole Equestria, from-

Oh. Of course... That makes sense, Twilight thought.

There, there, the voice in her head replied. You needn’t speak to talk to me. You don’t want to worry your friends, do you?

The unicorn could swear she could sense thick mockery in Gestalt’s tone.

What do you want from me? she thought, gradually feeling more and more enveloped in the magical darkness that filled the cave.

“Twilight?” she heard Rarity’s concerned voice. Then came the others; but those she did not hear. Her friends were becoming distant, their voices flowing away, their silhouettes consumed by the shimmering blackness.

Now, that’s better, isn’t it?

No, it is not! Twilight retorted, losing her composure. Give me my friends back, and, for buck’s sake, give me my brother back! she practically roared inside her head.

“Um... Twiley? I am here...”

The unicorn turned round, only to see Shining Armor standing right behind her, a confused expression on his face.

“Shining!” Twilight exclaimed aloud, galloping towards her brother; but, no matter how fast she ran, the distance between them didn’t seem to shorten. Finally, the lavender mare ran out of breath and stopped, breathing heavily. A feeling that something was wrong didn’t leave her head for a single second.

Uh-uh, the voice laughed. You want to reunite with your brother, little Twiley? Then you have to join me!

That was his trick, Twilight realised. Gestalt was feeding on ponies’ souls, much like changelings were feeding on ponies’ love. But while changelings were countless minions of one powerful queen, Gestalt was his own master - and a terrible one at that. It wasn’t her brother that he was after, no; Shining Armour was only a bait, a lure for the Elements of Harmony to follow.

“Giiiiiirls!” Twilight yelled on top of her lungs.

They can’t hear you, Twilight, the mocking voice replied in their stead. They are too busy fighting illusions of their own device.

“Of your own device,” Twilight retorted aloud, hoping that maybe, if she just kept on talking, Gestalt would loosen the grip on her friends.

Oh no, dear Twiley! The terrible voice laughed, and that laughter resonated all around the cave, making the lavender unicorn shiver slightly.

“Twilight?” a soft, scared voice reached the librarian’s ears; it was terribly near, but at the same time seemed so distant.

“What is this eternal racket?” another voice demanded, lady-like tones filling it with grace and elegance.

“Woah nelly! Ah can’t say that was laughter! Our pigs c’n laugh better!”

“Show yourself so I can kick your ass, Gestalt!”

“Woooo! It’s very scary, Mr. Gestalt - or shall I call you Luce? I know your friends call you Luce and would really like to be your friend because I like making friends everywhere and this is the end of the story and-”

“Giiiirls!” Twilight demanded, eager to play upon the beast’s mistake as quickly as possible. “The Elements! Now!”

The Bearers immediately understood everything and channelled their powers through the enchanted gems, their Elements flowing freely, all aimed at one goal - Gestalt.

Twilight closed her eyes, losing herself in a tidal wave of magical power containing both the spell to destroy Gestalt for good and the surge of her Element.

Waves of magic lit the cave, radiating fury and passion.

Channelling Loyalty.

“Aaargh!” Gestalt cried aloud, no longer able to mess with the ponies’ minds due to the amount of pain he’d received.

Channelling Honesty.

The beast screamed, his ethereal body aching in imminent torture.

Channelling Laughter.

“Mercy!” Gestalt cried out, feeling his grip on Shining Armour weakening, which made him only more pathetic in his own eyes.

Channelling Kindness.

“No. NO!” Ud’lufuce sensed the pain in his body fade gradually, replaced with terrible guilt and embarrassment - the power of Kindness had successfully evaded him up to this moment.

Channelling Generosity.

Gestalt was not sure what had just happened. He knew that he no longer held Shining Armour - may he be damned - nor did he have any power over anything, even his own body. But the pain was gone; and it scared him. For the first time in his existence, he had been scared, and terribly at that.

Am I... dead? the dark being wondered idly.

“No,” Twilight’s voice resonated across the cave. “Not yet.”

Channelling Magic.

The cave erupted in a show of colour and a whirlwind of magical energy, collapsing, its remnants vanishing in the rays of Friendship Cannon, rocks being thrown away for miles.

Twilight fell down on the ground, breathing heavily. They... did it?

“Twiley!” a concerned voice reached her ears, and she raised her head, only to see her brother, alive and well, approach her, his eyes shining with concern.

“Shining...” Twilight smiled, sudden fatigue overwhelming her. “Are the girls all right?” she wondered with a yawn, feeling her eyelids grow heavy.

“Yes, they are,” the stallion replied. “How are you? You look terrible!” he exclaimed, eyeing his sister, who just shifted uncomfortably and rolled over.

“I’m fine,” she replied. She looked at the blue sky. Birds were diving through it happily, exchanging sweet melodies with each other. Celestia’s sun radiated warmth and happiness all around Equestria, soothing the cold ground, making small critters abandon their slumber and once more come out from their homes, rubbing their sleepy eyes. Clouds were gracefully drifting across the sky, untouched by pegasi, bathing in their own glory and stateliness.

Twilight wanted to run aimlessly, sunshine trickling down her coat, or feel the breezy rain cover her whole, or fight the wind as she raced it.

But right now, she needed only one thing. Now that everything was over, she could finally allow herself a few minutes of rest. Just a few minutes...

“Everything’s fine,” Twilight repeated before closing her eyes, drifting off into the world of peaceful dreams - a world devoid of any nightmares.

Das Ende

Comments ( 17 )

This is kinda like watching a train ride along a rail, then derail spontaneously onto another rail, and then keep doing so until you realize you're watching a locomotive that moves forward entierly by derailing. :rainbowderp: I'm espescially pleased to see that me introducing ONE character who was kind of a superhero parody resulted in the entire thing turning into some sort of superhero sci fi story. :twilightoops:

1567522

Interesting indeed. It almost feels like this is two, or perhaps several, stories in one.

1567874
Indeed, what seems to have happened is that it reached some sort of equilibrium and tipped over into an entierly new story.

This is interesting in the way information is transported across chapters, and how this reflects on story structure. The first chapter establishes idea of basic synopsys. Second widens it and explores it, and brings crucial information from chapter one with it. Third chapter uses the bag of concepts (that was carefully preserved in prev chapter) to introduce 'complications' in the plot, while fourth paved the way for a climax, still drawing along its heavy luggage of ideas and plot.
Fifth chapter broke away from the tradition of collecting and hauling plot everywhere it went, and introduced new elements to the story, giving a second exposition and setting up a final trampoline, postponing the climax to the next chapter. Sixth chapter fulfilled the climax and tied up (more like threw out) most of the plot, and weakly hinted at a continuation (frankly, I fucked this up; should've given more detail to the hints). Since most of the initial plot baggage is unreachable, and what is known is already wrapped up, we could say that the first 'story' ends here.
(sidenote: sixth chapter was the first place where some details contradict the previous (i.e. the initial) chapters. Whoops.)

If you pay attention, the chapters so far more or less follow dramatic structure (at least, the way I learned it), except for the fifth chapter, which gave a second exposition, but it also gave enough rising action alongside it. After the sixth chapter (point I've read so far), falling action and closure doesn't make much sense, because there are many more authors and chapters to continue the story, so I'm guessing it will continue with exploring the new elements that originally came from the fifth chapter, or come up with completely different stuff and break away even more from previous stuff (which isn't a bad thing in itself).

As of right now, I've only read until the seventh chapter, and it's getting late (01:45), so imma go hit da sack. Will continue analyzing further later on.

I must say, the two main stories we got here seemed to pretty much hit it off. I can honestly say, though, that I had no idea how completely far removed from anything resembling the original prompt things ended up being. Either way, it was definitely enjoyable.

Very audacious. I love the concept and I've run by stories like this before but ones in which the authors knew the story from the beginning and could continue it as they saw fit.

Only up to chapter 6 right now. It's late and time for bed but this definitely gets a thumbs up and a watch.

1569585

I concur. I also thought I was chapter 12 out of 20, not 15. Hence the somewhat big build up for something...

1569489
It was also interesting to see what genre it jumped to in the end, I don't think its a coincidence that it ended up in Adventure, cus really, we wouldn't have been abl to keep up a horror story told in limited third person, too many perspectives was introduced and not enough information carried across them. IT really needed a more linear pot structure, which it got towards the end. :twilightoops:


1573767
I sorta knew this would happen when I introduced the character, I had no idea how long the fact that she was Mayor Mare would travel between chapters, but I knew that as soon as someone forgot to mention it, she'd split off into her own character. In retrospect, I prolly shouldn't have picked a name that implied it was Pinkie :pinkiehappy:, but it was a reference to the mayors pink hair and an explanation for why she'dyes it and is so secretive about it...

With every word I cut you off, off this night, off this life. *slice*
Let every vine be decoupled, all the wrong that you uphold. *slash*
I know you now, you let the weak let out the shriek, *stab*
Erase their mind, embellish them with brownish hide, *cut*
Crowning them with raging thorns, denying them their mortal forms, *jab*
Hiding gentle, soothing matter,
In green blood flowing I now scatter,
Your healing blood I now draw out,
To mend the wrong and clear the doubt,
To make the town I love remember:
I am again, the Pink Avenger!" *slash*

1569489
I gotta say, Candlelight, I am VERY pleased that Pink Avenger got her own motto. I am a sucker for superheroes with an "in the name of the moon..."-speech, and this one was completely badass. I wanna write a spinoff story with the pin avenger now. :rainbowdetermined2:

Random reflection: the swedes were the only ones writing over 2k words! :D

1578355
Don't judge. I am a very busy man.

1571888 You were chapter 12 out of 20.
But the next one dropped out. 12 out of 19
And the next one. 12 out of 18
And the next one. 12 out of 17
Then the story progressed.
Then another author dropped out. 16 chapters.
And another one. 15 chapters.

Okay, let's continue dissecting this story.

Chapter 7 got bogged down in a fight scene, and it didn't give much thread to go on by, which is in part my fault, because I should've explained the end of chapter 6 more. So since there wasn't much to continue with, chapter 8 chose to break away from srs business and pull the random card. At least it was enjoyable.
Then in chapter 9 the plot was rebooted, the author made a basic setup and left out most of the specifics, so the next author could spin something more grand from it. In chapter 10, some more plot details were added, but the nature of the villain or his grand pland still wasn't revealed fully. Note that this chapter omitted the information about Discord and the mane 6 (which isn't a big problem, and it might have been intentional).
Chapter 11 revealed the villain name (that was genius btw), his nature and intention, and shot a line that will have been quoted in the next chapters. Chapter 12 continued with putting more 'complication' or 'conflict' into the story (I seriously need a better term for this), and setting it up to scale even further. There's a small contradiction with chapter 9, but it doesn't spoil the story.
Chapter 13 and 14 made preparations for the climax, both carrying necessary plot information. What they're missing is the exact nature of the villain and his intentions, which was seemingly not mentioned in chapter 12. Oh well. Kudos on the anagram, though; I laughed after I realized what it was.
Chapter 15, the last chapter as it turned out, had to end the story in a climax with a villain about which the author didn't know much of (a recurring theme it seems). So the last chapter focused on the ending scene only, keeping the reader blindfolded and only gradually revealing the conclusion. Then, a blast, and some falling action to end it peacefully.

I like collabs very much.

1585727
Pussies! :trixieshiftright:

1594597
Yeah, the theme of this stroy seems to be the degrading of information, how a very clear imagine can turn intoa vauge notion after many rounds of chinese whisper. The funny part is that this is basically the REVERSE of what'd happen in a regular round-robin style collab, where you might at first only have a vauge idea of who the vilian is supposed to be cus the first author hadn't planted more tha na few ideas, and then gradually work towards a more clear view.

1594597
Thanks for calling my idea of naming the villain "Gestalt" genius. I started giggling when I came up with that idea, and I still haven't stopped.

That was... strange. I was hoping for more plant fluttershy stuff, and then it went WHOO!

Login or register to comment