Green Sheets and Fuchsia Mane
Ah, the joys of waking up.
First comes the slow, dreary process of shaking off my sleepiness and convincing my body it's actually awake. Then there's that desperate scramble to memorize what parts of my dream I liked and wanted to write down into a story. That's always fun. Oh, then I glance at the clock to see if I've woken up too early, again. Usually I go back to sleep after that but sometimes I just groan and kick off the sheets.
But on this day... something was a bit different. For starters, I woke up instantly, even though it was four thirty A.M.
"Huh. That's... and my voice?"
I brought a hand to my throat, before realizing that said appendage felt a bit off. So I went about extruding it from under the bedsheets for examination. This took about, oh, ten seconds? Let's call it ten seconds. Eventually, I was able to focus on the end of my arm.
It... kinda just ended. Also, it was pink and fuzzy.
"Okay, that's a bit weird. As is my voice, apparently." I twisted my arm around to view it entirely, noting that there seemed to be a second wrist where my elbow should be... and that my elbow itself had moved up a bit. "So... forelimb designed for support. Quadruped? I'm just going to call this a hoof until another name presents itself."
Was I freaking out? Well... no. I'm a pretty chill guy when it comes to the strange and unusual, mostly because I myself am strange and unusual. I know, I know, it sounds sueish and cliche, but... yeah, as an Aspie I kinda had to focus on nonnormal things for most of my life. People were... disturbing. Most people. A few, though, they managed to connect to me in high school--
I'm sorry, you came here for ponies, not nostalgia! Unless you're a Dream Valley fan, in which case win-win!
So I finished examining my hoof and decided that I should probably check on the rest of my body. Lifting my covers, I peered under; mmmmyep, I was pink and fuzzy all over. Cept for the tail, which was more of a tangled mess then anything and actually seemed to be fuchsia. And my cutie mark, mostly hidden by the green sheet and shadows. To top the whole thing off, I was wearing a blue circle-print pajama shirt and, I belatedly realized, matching socking cap.
"Alright, I'm calling it now. Pinkie Pie. Voice, mane, hooves, sex change and all." Rolling my shoulders, I streeeeetched out in imitation of my patient pet cat Disney (God rest his soul), eventually bucking the sheets off my body and to the side.
I should now mention that I had a loft bed. You know, the kind with a ladder. This was, primarily, because the floor of my room was littered with books, legos, drawings, and papers in a semi-organized mess. At the time, the loft bed had seemed like a good idea.
"Ladder, hooves. Ladder, hooves." I glanced from forelimb to descending plane, and furrowed my brow. "Hokay. This is gonna be a little complicated."
Now, you're probably thinking that I went straight for the ladder. You're wrong. What I did instead was slowly stand up on all fours, stretching my neck forward as my mane brushed against the ceiling. "But Reid," you're asking, "How did you have room to--"
Wait what? Who is Reid? I'm Reid! Reid X.P. at your service. Didn't I mention that?
Anyway, as I was saying before the flow of the story was so rudely interrupted... "But Reid," you're asking, "How did you have room to stand up when you were on a loft bed?" Well, my bedroom's on the second floor, so the ceiling kinda slopes with the roof. If I'd been human I wouldn't have been able to manage it, and even as a waist-high pony it was still a bit of a squeeze, but if there's anything about Pinkie Pie's body you should know it's that it's flexible. Like, oh my gosh is this girl part balloon animal flexible. Makes sense though...
Once I was up on all fours, I began the process of testing each limb's mobility, twisting their joints in a casual wave until I felt familiar with them before putting them back on the mattress and beginning with the next one. That took me, oh, two minutes I suppose... Deciding I was comfortable enough with my new body, I dug in with my forehooves and swung my rump over to the ladder. It was a bit of a hassle to gain purchase on a set of rungs, since my anklebone was longer then I remembered, but eventually I managed to click my hooves on. Quite pleased with my success, I brought one forehoof down to the topmost rung, then extended the corresponding rear leg out. Uh-huh, looking good. I released my mattress from its death grip, casually bringing the last hoof onto the ladder and simultaneously extending my OTHER rear leg....
"WhoaheyWAAGH!"
Yeah. That's when it all went cartoonishly clumsy. If I didn't keep that futon mattress under my bed... well, anyway, I survived.
"At least it wasn't a triple bunk this time," I muttered, rolling into a standing position. "No broken bones, few bruises, tail seems to be okay.... Of course it would be okay, it's hair. Reid, is Pinkie Pie's neurology getting to you already or is this just your own natural randomness?"
I paused, considering my last words as I tilted my head.
"...Okay, from now on, check thoughts for felt texture."
Existential crises averted--I'm more of a pencil-sketch/3d-graphic thinker, you know, sorta like Skyward Sword--I considered my next move. Well, since I wasn't wearing pants, that could be an issue, but then again ponies seemed to sheathe genitalia so maybe nobody would mind. Actually, that was a more practical problem: where were Pinkie's, ahem, holes? Grabbing a pair of jeans with a hole between the legs and, after a moment's debate, some underwear from the laundry basket I'd left sitting out the last night, I went to open my door. Fortunately, it had a handle, and not a knob. Score one for practicality!
By this time it was about, let's say, four fifty? Yep, that's good. I'm not good with time, I have to constantly look at digital clocks. But fortunately for me, nobody was awake. So I trotted across the floor to the upstairs bathroom, which was actually a sink-room and a halfbath. I shut the door and took a look at myself in the mirror.
"...Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?"
Sorry, had to be done. After I finished giggling at my little joke, I decided to turn to more practical matters. Namely, showing the mirror my rear.
Before any of you start gasping in horror, this was purely practical and I was only identifying exit ports, not entry ports. I don't get off on looks. The only thing that arouses me is romance. Strange but true.
"Well, doctor Pinkie, analysis is complete. I thiiiiink it might be time for the practical." Thus saying, I turned my head to the toilet room, took a deep breath and walked in.
Two minutes later, I walked out, somewhere between disgusted and pleased. "Pinkie, I don't know WHAT you ate but I guess I should thank you for helping me with the lesson. Ugh. Maybe that was hay, ponies eat hay..." That triggered another set of questions in my head, relating to the dietary requirements of equines. I groaned as I realized that I wouldn't be able to pack sandwiches for lunch anymore, but tapped my hoof when I remembered the eggs that Rarity had served for breakfast in an episode devoted to sisterhood.
I pulled on my pants, jamming my tail through the hole. Before I left the bathroom, I glowered at the mirror. "Real life ponies are CHEST HIGH. You, Pinkie, are WAIST HIGH. And now I have to suffer for the designer's oversight. I am put out, missy, very much put out!"
With a toss of my mane and a distinctly Rarity-like "Hmmph!" I trotted down the stairs. Well... okay, I fell down the stairs to the first landing, shook my head, got up, and went a bit more carefully down the second half. Time for cereal!
"...Hooves. Spoons."
....Time for waffles!
This is how I learned a pony's nose could get really cold really fast when exposed to a freezer's cold, although it might have just been Pinkie's uniquely cartoonish nature. After breaking off the icicles, I plunked the waffles in the toaster and sat down on the floor to wait.
It was about this time that I finally realized something. I was, in fact, a pony. This, while not something really bad, was at least distinctly unusual. More so then my usual unusual levels.
"This is going to be an interesting day, isn't it."
Stats
Page generated in 0.053 seconds
Total duration
918 users online
501,206 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I like it!
I approve. It seems Pinkie's random nature is leaking in though. Don't worry, brah we're all having this problem. For example, Twi-guy has Twilight's mind and Tara will occasionally slip into old english.
Sorry, I just went ADHD on you. Really great story so far.
AH YES, THESE AGAIN
1525557
Bro, calm down. It's just a story
1525557
And with that said, it's time for another rrrrrouuuuusinnng...
INKY ANALYSIS!
1) "We Need to Go Deeper... With Good Wood."
Ah, the joys of waking up.
First comes the slow, dreary process of shaking off my sleepiness and convincing my body it's actually awake. Then there's that desperate scramble to memorize what parts of my dream I liked and wanted to write down into a story. That's always fun. Oh, then I glance at the clock to see if I've woken up too early, again. Usually I go back to sleep after that but sometimes I just groan and kick off the sheets.
Alright, you have already made a clear and obvious error, in that you have forgotten the most chronic symptom of male awakenings. If you just groan and kick off the sheets, either you are that impressed with your morning wood you just don't give a damn, or you've got none to speak of. Or, perhaps, you are oblivious to your mandatory A.M. tent. I have already begun to lose belief in this story.
I brought a hand to my throat, before realizing that said appendage felt a bit off.
Much like your former male appendage, which apparently was never up.
2) Doctors Don't Know Shiznitz.
"Okay, that's a bit weird. As is my voice, apparently." I twisted my arm around to view it entirely, noting that there seemed to be a second wrist where my elbow should be... and that my elbow itself had moved up a bit. "So... forelimb designed for support. Quadruped? I'm just going to call this a hoof until another name presents itself."
"It's probably something other than a hoof, but, whatever--I calls 'em like I sees 'em."
Was I freaking out? Well... no. I'm a pretty chill guy when it comes to the strange and unusual, mostly because I myself am strange and unusual. I know, I know, it sounds sueish and cliche, but... yeah, as an Aspie I kinda had to focus on nonnormal things for most of my life. People were... disturbing. Most people. A few, though, they managed to connect to me in high school--
And here comes the info train:
-- Strange
-- Asperger's
-- People are weird
-- Yeah, I had some friends
With the thoughts connecting rapidly like that, you might wanna check to see how your ADHD's doing, too.
3) Fourth Wall? Puh-lease!
I'm sorry, you came here for ponies, not nostalgia! Unless you're a Dream Valley fan, in which case win-win!
"I'm telling a story. Please, have a seat."
4) Anatomy Class? I Skipped the Reproductive System that Day.
So I finished examining my hoof and decided that I should probably check on the rest of my body. Lifting my covers, I peered under; mmmmyep, I was pink and fuzzy all over. Cept for the tail, which was more of a tangled mess then anything and actually seemed to be fuchsia. And my cutie mark, mostly hidden by the green sheet and shadows. To top the whole thing off, I was wearing a blue circle-print pajama shirt and, I belatedly realized, matching socking cap.
I know you snuck a peak at Pinkie's Party Pie. Be a man and SAY IT! That's the REAL reason we are ALL here. Do not fail at giving this audience what it wants!
5) Will the Real Slim Pinkie Stand the Buck Up?
"But Reid," you're asking, "How did you have room to--"
Wait what? Who is Reid? I'm Reid! Reid X.P. at your service. Didn't I mention that?
LOL HERE'S MA NAME!
1525657
Let him have his fun. Trolls are adorable when they're young and only get dangerous after they get big enough to eat ponies.
No, I'm serious. I put a lot of thought into how trolls would work in ponyverse. They can only eat things that are still alive, so they have to swallow them whole. It's part of the life force vampirism magic thing they've got going.
Going to have to remember that one in the event of spontaneous fuchsia equine transmutation...
In any case, I'm certainly intrigued. Especially if Pinkie ended up with the narrator's body. Looking forward to more!
1525657 No. These are a cancer that afflict the site.
1525674 Ah, thank you
1525679
Well, that escalated quickly.
But nonetheless, I liked it.
I thought it was pretty well written, with only one mistake I could find with a comma.
Will favorite and track.
-ThatOneRandomPony (The one person that wrote the Octavia One)
This is so delightlfully... bland
I don't think I'll follow or like
The first chapter is... meh.
I guess it's too soon to judge.
Its good in my opinion
So your an aspie that would mean you have Asperger's syndrome correct [Just between you and Me if that is the case we have something in common
I... had to downvote. And I'll tell you exactly why. This kind of conversational style with the reader-- Wait what? Who is Reid? I'm Reid! Reid X.P. at your service. Didn't I mention that?-- is something that might be funny at times but, when you're doing a whole big story, is like trying to write one handed. Not only will it set up for total confusion, but it just mucks up the regular flow.
Not to mention that the whole set up of what happens sounds, well, extremely bland. The combination of bland 'waking up' descriptions with jarring fourth-wall moments feels... well, it just doesn't work. Sorry...
I feel like I'm being talked to by someone that I don't know and don't have a reason to care about. I don't feel like I'm 'reading a story'. You know?
Good luck with your writing, anyways.
you're taking it suprisingly well...
Only noticed two glaring grammatical errors. Other than that, welcome to the group.
Faving for the purpose of tracking, will wait before choosing to upvote.
1525694 That may well be, but the front page refreshes quickly, and then you never have to see it again. Sure we may be a group, and that means there might be a few of these popping up every once in a while, but at least we're being honest about what people can expect. At this point you're kinda just flaunting the chip on your shoulder. Besides, this kind of story has been done well by Suomibrony and HoopyMcgee, do you hate them as writers? All this said however, I respect your decision to hate this type of work with a raging passion. Just ... exert that anger in some healthy manner, maybe write something gory to indulge your own fantasies? That's what brings people to write some of the stories on FimFiction, just to get an idea onto paper ... without the paper part.
1526526 It's not "Every once in a while" At any given time, there is at least one of these(at least when I look), and currently as I'm writing this, there are THREE of them. Yes, there have been good ones, but now it's the new overused trope. I'm sick of these things gathering everywhere.
And I give them all a fair chance. I read through them to decide if they are any good. This one was, well, ok. Not the best, but not terrible. Still, this trope revolts me.
1525679Whatever led you to believe I was a troll? No, I'm neither liking nor disliking this, because while it was well written, this trope is far overused. I'm not trolling you, I just don't like how this genre is everywhere now.
1526551 On the browse page, press filter, disable "human" category. Or filter based on rating, or views, or just, not click on every "brony becomes a pony" story. I'm not trying to be mean, you seem to be a fairly reasonable guy, with a decent sense in music. However, you gotta realize that reading every single fic as it gets posted is a ridiculous thing to attempt. People's preferences change over time, right now, this is an over used cliche, go ahead and use the search filters so you get adventure fics, or one-shot comedies, or FlutterMac shipping, find something that is relevant to your interests, if you ever feel like reading a "brony to pony" story, you can change the search filters, and with time, you can use the "top rated filter" to figure out which ones are worth your time. Or go to groups devoted to a specific trope, like "Brony to Pony", "X is a Changeling", "Stallion X plough's Mare Y's beanfield", or "Mane 6 have a tea party, shenanigans ensue" and ask what other folks recommend.
P.S. Do you want to move this to private messages?
1526615 The thing here is that good Humans in Equestria do show up now and then, but I don't want to miss them.
But I guess I'll try and ignore these from now on. But if I did that, I'd never get to have awesome conversations like this!
Oh hooo boy. Ya' know I actually planned to write being the brony turned Pink? But, I decided against it and wrote Rarity's since she's my polar opposite.
(Would love to read right now, but I'm going to leave soon.)
1526615
"P.S. Do you want to move this to private messages?"
farm4.static.flickr.com/3221/2985790482_b07e535074.jpg
1526639 Then it seems we have reached an agreeable point.
1527347 Seems it won't be necessary, great picture though.
1527388
When a pic is needed to illustrate a point for clarity OR hilarity, you must trust Inky.
You're welcome, bro. You... and everyone.
1527388 Agreed.
I'm sorry but... I can't say I'm finding this story very attractive at the moment. And this is in no small part because this has already been done, and been done better.
Hoopy McGee's Why am I Pinkie Pie?
It's a brilliant story and it's been featured pretty much every time it's ever updated. You might want to give it a read.
But honestly, the fact that it's been done before isn't the main reason that I'm not liking the look of this story at the moment. Mostly it's because it looks so very bland. There's little to nothing going on, and I understand that this is the first chapter of the story, but the character acts completely flat about, well, pretty much everything. He seemingly has no emotions or decent reactions to anything so far in the story, and otherwise takes everything in stride. Not only is this entirely boring and off putting, but it also doesn't make any sense given the situation. I'm sorry, but being a "pretty chill guy" does not give you an excuse to have practically zero reaction to becoming a pretty pink pony.
And your character is described as being a "pretty weird guy" but we don't get to SEE this trait at all. This is one of those cases where "Show, don't tell" comes into play. You can't just tell us that 'he's a weird guy.' You need to SHOW us how he's weird.
I'm sorry, but at this point, all I really know about the character is that his room is cluttered (which could be telling of some things, but honestly is too vague to really derive much from) and he's not meant to be a female pony.
This story needs to expand on a lot of things. It needs to tell us a lot more about the character, and it needs to make him act like a human being rather than a robot. At the moment he's rather "BEEP. BOOP. PROCESSING SITUATION. BODILY STATE IS PONY. ALTERING STATUS AND PROCEEDING WITH MORNING ROUTINE. BEEP."
A human being would not act so blase. I understand that a lot of people think it's cliche to have a "freak out," but when something of this nature happens, it's rather required, unless the change was a voluntary one. Because it's the human reaction, and anything less feels cheap and unbelievable, unless there's a decent reason for it.
For example, to bring up "Why am I Pinkie Pie" again, there was a decent reason for the character to act in the way he did. His behavioral patterns were replaced by Pinkie Pie's when he ended up in her body, and thus, he did freak out, but he freaked out in a "Pinkie Pie" way, which ended up involving a lot of cheerfulness and hijinks rather than screaming, crying, panicking, and so on.
Unless you have a decent reason for him not to freak out (and no, being 'chill about weirdness because he's a weird guy' is not sufficient), then a freak out is rather required. Otherwise, he just doesn't come across as human.
The best thing about writing a freak out, by the way, is that it is in times of chaos that our souls are laid bare, to be overly poetic about it. Seeing his actions and first thoughts and assumptions during the freak out will do a lot to help us see what kind of person he is. Other good things that could help us discover more about him is to describe more about his room, what kinds of posters he has, what kind of food is in the fridge, and other little things like that. There's just so little going on here that the story just isn't interesting.
Anyway, that's my look at this first chapter. My suggestion would be to go back and really spruce this up, paying close attention to how your character acts and comes across to the audience.
I love it! :D
WAFFLES!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&v=HID2VK4bsEg&NR=1]
I first watched friendship is magic because a friend said I had the same personality as pinkie pie so for that part of me I spent four hours of watching one episode to get this:
My name is Pinkie Pie
Hello!
And I am here to say
How ya doin'?
I'm gonna make you smile
And I will brighten up your day
It doesn't matter now
What's up?
If you are sad or blue
Howdy!
Cuz cheering up my friends
Is just what Pinkie's here to do!
Cuz I love to make you smile, smile smile!
Yes I do!
It fills my heart with sunshine all the while!
Yes it does!
Cuz all I needs a smile smile smile
From these happy friends of mine!
I'd like to see you grin.
I'd love to see you beam.
The corners of your mouth turned up is always Pinkie's dream.
But if your kind of worried,
And your face has made a frown,
I'll work real hard and try my best
To turn that sad frown upside down!
Cuz I love to make you grin, grin, grin!
Yes I do!
Bust it out from ear to ear!
Let it begin!
just give me a joyful grin, grin, grin!
And ya fill me with big cheer!
It's true some days are dark and lonely.
And maybe you feel sad?
But Pinkie will be there to,
Show you that it isn't that bad!
There is one thing that makes me happy,
And makes my whole life worth while!
And that's when I talk to my friends and make them smile!
I really am so happy
Your smile fills me with glee.
I give a smile
I get a smile..
And that's so special to me.
Cuz I love to see you beam, beam, beam!
Yes I do
tell me what more can I say to make you see,
That I do!?
It makes me happy when you beam, beam, beam!
Yes it always makes my day!
come on everypony smile, smile, smile!
Fill my heart up with sunshine, Sunshine!
All I really needs a smile, smile, smile!
From these happy friends of mine!
Come on everypony smile, smile, smile!
Fill my heart up with sunshine, Sunshine!
All I really needs a smile, smile, smile!
From these happy friends of mine!
It's a perfect gift for me!
is a smile as wide as a mile!
To make me happy as can be!
Smile, smile, smile, smile, smile!
Come on and smile!
Come on and smile!
1902938 love this song.. might sing it for school talent show XD
>>DerpyDash2131
I did and I won so it's worth a try.
1902938
I did and I won so it's worth a try.
1902938
Now I understand why the comments are longer than this chapter...
I love it!
1527530 I don't know... I think I'd pretty much end up being "C'est la vie" about such a situation myself. I'd be more irritated that my routine had to be altered than by the change itself.
Granted, I would do a double take at the very least, but I can see someone just rolling with it.
-Wake up as a pony.
Huh that's strange...Oh well!
1525674
You dare mock the ADHD Master Race?
2441699 I would mainly be concerned about being dissected/raped-then-dissected by the CIA. They're all sadistic freaks, you know.
*DO NOT TRUST THE CIA!! THEY'RE OUT TO GET YOU!! Probably with rape. They must be stopped before it's too late.*
2856920
Myself, if I woke up as a pony, I my smile would be able to be seen from outer space!
1524563 I like it too ^.=.^
1526002BUDDER your stories are GOOD
1526037 same here ^.=.^
1965924good for you ^.=.^
Of course, if I woke up as a pony, I wouldn't shrug it off as an unusual morning, I'd probably flip out. Internally, of course. Later, I'd begin to accept it, and I'd probably miss the conveniences of earth.
Being pinkie pie must be quite interesting.
1526037 Yes, and that makes three.
2968967
Same here, bro.
#SucksToBeHuman
3753549
>nods in agreement<
So he woke up as a pony and was just 'Meh, i don't give a buck'.
Imagine if the whole world had attitude like that.
3795816 I know!!
3753549 your not the only one