Awakening Pink

by Masterweaver

On the Road Again

The IHOP incident may have influenced my decision to let Jacqueline be the shotgun rider on our way to Wichita. That, and the fact I had yet to chew her out over the Pinkie Fan gathering. I mean, really? It was still DAY ONE for me! Of course I decided to let her recover before I did any talking, seeing as she reacted to the ruination of her dress in a rather... actually heart-breaking manner.

...basically, she just slumped down and muttered something about working for three days on the thing. It's an artist thing, okay? If you're an artist, you just feel for your creations. I couldn't really do anything to help her, but I hoped the gesture would at least be comforting. I suck at this sort of thing.

Anyway, there we all were, on the two hour drive to Wichita. Do you know what that means? YES! MONTAGE TIME!

***

"...and that's the last of the pancakes."

"I still have no idea how you do that," Jacqueline commented. "I've been watching you eat the things, but the way you just stuff them whole down your mouth--"

"I'm pretty sure my jaw unhinges." I tapped my cheek meaningfully. "Heck, I think all of Pinkie's bones are a little bit loose. They feel that way to me."

"How do you mean?"

"...well, I cracked my knuckles a lot when I was human," I admitted. "The bone snapping sound was kinda comforting. I can't actually find anything like that with this new body though."

She looked at me as though I was nuts.

"He used to bite down on turkey bones," my brother helpfully added. "Crack them open and lick out the marrow."

"Marrow tastes good!" I protested. "Well, tasted. It's meat now so I guess--"

"No. Stop." Jacqueline turned back to watching the road, just a titch green. "I don't want to hear about this."

There were a few minutes of silence.

"...you know, I did eventually figure out how to pop my wrists--"

"NO NOT LISTENING LALALALALALALALALALA!"

**

I would say I am about sixty percent Erica and sixty percent Fluttershy. I don’t know how that works. Why would you make me watch that video? I’m going to imagine myself talking like that for days now! Lastly, did you at least charge them for pictures? I may be kind but I know an opportunity when I see one.

I sighed, realizing I might have done more harm with that video then good. Then I opened up a tab to reply.

Sixty and Sixty, huh? Quantum flux then, I get how it is. I can sort of feel it more accurately, since Pinkie's thoughts feel like flannograph felt, but there is an ebb and flow. As for the video, it was my attempt to demonstrate that even horrible discordant voices can have harmony. You know, a reassuring "we'll get through this gesture...." I've never been good with those. And I'll talk with them about paying.

Just after I sent it off, there was another beep. I blinked, opening the new message:

Scratch the charging for pictures idea.

Heh... typical Fluttershy. Or maybe Erica. I knew nothing about her... either way, though, it seemed kind of foolish to me not to charge for celebrity photos. I tapped open the response button again.

No the charging thing was a good idea, we'll just discount it for the kiddos.

After a moment, I added

And peeps who buy us noms.

Then I sent the reply off. Wow. Facebook wasn't nearly as overwhelming as I remembered it! Maybe it was only because I was focusing on only one profile, though.

Ian gave me a glance in the rearview mirror. "What are you giggling about back there?"

"Oh, Fluttershy being Fluttershy." I gave Jacqueline a look. "You don't mind paying her if she lets you take pictures with her, do you?"

"Oh, not at all. I pay all the celebrities at the cons when they let me photoshoot with them."

My brother rolled his eyes. "Strictly speaking, that's not necessary."

"It just feels like a decent thing to do after they spend so much getting fawned over by large crowds."

I gave her a sly look. "So, are you going to pay me for that thing back in Oklahoma city?"

Wordlessly, she handed me five twenties.

"...Wow, I was actually just kidding. Um... thanks..."

***

It had been quiet for far too long. I began to tap my hoof against the armrest, starting up a rhythm.

"...There's no need to justify, the meaningless destruction. The voices always tell me that, It's how I'm meant to func-tion."

Jacqueline gave me a confused look. "I don't think I know that one."

"Homestuck music."

"Homestuck... I'm sorry, what is--?"

"It's an internet epic, by which I mean it hits all the points required to be considered an epic in literature aside from being an actual book and is only possible with the advent of the internet. It's rather foul in tongue on occasion, though, and quite bloody sometimes." I opened up a tab on my iPad. "The music is excellent though. The majority is instrumental, and even some of the ones with lyrics are nice. Maybe I should send Erica the link to the Squiddles album."

Ian rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't. It's cutesie on the surface but that last track is just..."

"Hence the joke! It'd be a great prank!"

Jacquiline coughed. "I don't think sending her something like that would be a good idea. She is sensitive, you know."

I slumped into my seat. "Oh.... fine." Honestly, I couldn't wait to meet the other Manes, just so I could swap jokes with them about our situation without worrying about offending them. Erica was nice and all, but... yeah.

***

"I say that Shepard should have ended up with Tali. The way he cared for her was obviously deep."

"I'm not arguing that, but I think they have more of a father-daughter relationship. Liara seemed to connect on a deeper level."

Jacqueline sniffed. "Or perhaps you like her simply because she appeared nude."

"Okay, no, it's not that at all." Ian rapped the steering wheel empathetically. "Liara just seemed more mature, and Shepard was, after all, an adult. Going with Tali is kinda pedophilia."

"It is not! Tali is a mature woman."

"They met up on her pilgrimage. Tali is a teen."

"Was. Not by the third game."

I groaned. "Guys, you realize that Shepard basically dies at the end, right? No matter who he ships with, somebody's going to end up brokenhearted."

"Well, what would you do? Have him remain abstinent?"

I nodded empathetically. "Yes, actually. I mean he never struck me as a romantic in the first place, and after Cerberus was done with him it's not likely he could actually, you know, have kids anymore. Add the whole thing with the Reapers and what sane individual would try to maintain a relationship?"

They both looked at me as though I was nuts.

"...I prefer Femshep anyway."

***

The car and van both pulled into the parking lot of the Wichita Kmart. We all bundled out, me shaking the kinks out of my tail, and gathered together."

"We need to buy some more snacks for the road," Linda began unceremoniously. "Vegetarian for Pinkie--"

"My name is Reid."

"...for Reid, and whatever for the rest of us."

"Also, I can't handle wrappers well," I added. "So, um... apples and non-wrapped things."

Ginny gave me a sympathetic look. "Did you try eating the flowers? You know, from the Oklahoma thing."

"Uh... no, actually, now that you mention it, I guess I could."

Harold glanced around the parking lot. "Maybe you should stay out here. With all the people around it might be--"

"No, I need to stretch my legs. I'll stick around the toy aisles and play with the kiddos, you guys handle the noms."

Ian sighed. "I'll go with him, make sure he doesn't cause an incident."

Jacqueline nodded. "That would be best."

I gave her a flat look. "And what, praytell, is that supposed to mean?"

"You're the kind of person that would crack open turkey legs to get at the marrow."

Ginny recoiled at that statement. "What? Ew! That's f--damn gross! Reid would never--"

"Marrow is soft and yummy," I deadpanned. "Seriously, what's wrong with it?"

"....okay, yeah, I'm sticking to the grocery aisles and making sure you get normal food."

Thus organized, we entered the supermarket. The cosplayers broke away to head for the vegtables, while Ian and I headed for the toys. I practically bounded into the lego aisle, ignoring the odd looks I got from some of the little boys who did not feel comfortable at all with a pink pony next to them. "Oh my gosh. Look at this, look! They've got the new Hero Factory titans here!"

"Reid... you don't have hands."

I ran a hoof gently across one of the boxes. "Look at that piece count, Ian. One Hundred and Ninety Two. Lego is remembering what made Bionicle great...."

"I have to remind you that you don't have fingers."

"Oh my gosh. It's green. Maybe I can use him to spruce up that MOC of mine... he's been needing more support joints... don't know what I'd do with the wheels."

"Hooves, Reid. Hooves and legos."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know." With one last longing gaze at the box, I walked out of the aisle and headed for the Hasbro section. But I paused when something green caught my eye.

"Oh... my... gosh."

Hulk gloves.

Actual, real foam hulk gloves.

I snatched the things up. "Yes. These will be perfect for Erica!"

Ian gave me a confused look. "Oooooookay....?"

"Don't you see? The Avengers had six, the Mane Cast has six, and Fluttershy is totally the Hulk!"

"Alright, I can see the analogy." He gave me a look. "Who's Pinkie?"

"By process of elimination, Hawkeye."

My brother shrugged. "Whatever you say..."

"Yes.... and now Death Battle will HAVE to do the Avengers versus Mane Cast episode. Ha. Haha. HahahAhahaheeehahaHAHAHAHhahaHA!" I clutched the gloves with a maniac grin. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!"

After a moment, Ian rolled his eyes. "You done?"

"No, wait, I have more. AHAHAhahah HA ha HEE HEEE HEE ha ha ha HAHAHABWAHA ha ha haHAAAAAAA!"

He crossed his arms.

"...okay, now I'm done." I flung the thing onto my back and pointed dramatically. "To the pony aisle!"

We walked into the suffocatingly pink region and instantly I was swarmed by little girls. I ruffled their hair affectionately, smiled a bit, made sure the little kids in the back got a chance to come forward for hugs, posed for pics with this adorable set of red-headed triplets, and reminded them all to listen to their parents. "They're old, they're a bit serious sometimes, but trust me when I say you'll have more fun listening to them than trying to break the rules!"

The moms kept it all under control, for the most part. One of the little kids tried to ride me and threw a tantrum when I just stood there, but that was pretty much the worst of it. A few Bronies also ran crowd control, mostly in the form of distracting the kids and buying them blind bags when I had to move on to the next tyke.

Eventually we got to the other end, and I mimed glancing at a watch. "Wow, is it that time already? Sorry kiddos, Auntie Pinkie has to go and find her friends so we can keep going on an epic road trip!" There was a course of disappointed groans. "Hey now, no frowny faces! Keep those smiles up and who knows? You might see me again!"

With a final wave, I turned and trotted around a corner. As soon as Ian and I were out of sight, we practically bolted to the grocery section.

"Okay that was absolutely weird and crazy. I mean, I know they're the target demographic but still! If I was in my original body all of that would have come across as..." I shuddered.

"Yeah. I guess it's one of the benefits of being a living plushie."

"Hardy har har." That comment earned him a light swat to the knee, but I was smirking a bit. "Eh, they had fun I suppose. Sort of like a Disneyland thing. You remember the talking trash can?"

"Oh yeah."

"I loved the talking trash can. He was so snarky, but the way he came off was absolutely..."

We turned the corner and slowed to a halt. In front of us were the cosplayers; Ginny sobbing in Jacqueline's arms, Harold holding his wig in his hands, and Linda leaning against the shopping cart with a dead look on her face.

"...What happened?"

Linda didn't even look at me. "Fluttershy's been shot."

My mane went flat with an inappropriately humorous noise.

Comments

[TonydBrony]

Oh hey, I knew I wasn't the only one in the world to eat the marrow in turkey bones!
...
Wait. Flutters got shot? Oh shi- TO THE OTHER STORY!

[spetsnaz pinkie pie]

No fluttershy NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[RydelFox]

I'd picture Pinkie more as Spider-man than Hawkeye. He's an Avenger too, you know.

[Braininthejar]

How do they know she's been shot? I don't think the news put it like that.

You are still an hour or so behind her. Does it mean we get a second chapter today?

[Thunder Bash]

Pinkie's Hawkeye? Fluttershy shot? BIONICLE SET WITH 192 PIECES? HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD????

[Destructorspace]

rugffled

ruffled*?

Also, Bionicle is awesome, and I think I have to actually start Homestuck now. Thanks a lot for that. (I don't know if sarcasm or not....)

Also also, dammit, now I have to play all three games. In order. Multiple times.

[nemryn]

Eh, I preferred Problem Sleuth.

[dafiltafish]

dafuq?

[Orkz]

I prefer crackin' chiggen bones, but hey!

[R4skall]

2033268same ^.+.^

[Pinklestia]

Well, that sucks.

[Majk]

Well crap, that ending killed the mood faster then a speeding bus. Nice twister.

[sorenxoras]

That twist hurt more than the time I didn't save my Skyrim file for 4 hours and died. I feel as if someone ripped my nipples off.

[BronyCrystal]

Owww gust not fluttershy

[Chrome Masquerade]

I snatched the things up. "Yes. These will be perfect for Erica!"

Ian gave me a confused look. "Oooooookay....?"

"Don't you see? The Avengers had six, the Mane Cast has six, and Fluttershy is totally the Hulk!"

"Alright, I can see the analogy." He gave me a look. "Who's Pinkie?"

"By process of elimination, Hawkeye."

derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/8/28/84633__safe_pinkie+pie_avengers_hawkeye_artist-colon-kenichi-dash-shinigami.jpg

[Xenolis]

2145131 indeed. But Dave is still best character

[Xenolis]

2033268

What is your review of homestuck so far

[Caldoric]

Look at that piece count, Ian. One Hundred and Ninety Two. Lego is remembering what made Bionicle great....

Ok, now I know you're friggin' talking to me. First, the brother named Ian. Then Homestuck. And now Bionicle? This can't be coincidence.

Also, opinions on G2: Good or bad?

[The Spy of the Tiger]

I ran a hoof gently across one of the boxes. "Look at that piece count, Ian. One Hundred and Ninety Two. Lego is remembering what made Bionicle great...."

derpicdn.net/img/2020/5/10/2344320/tall.png