No pony has ever heard of this place, except for those who worked there. Even those who worked there were kept in the dark about each others research. The Equestrian Research Institute's most advanced laboratory, Alpha three.
No pony knew why it was closed down, except for two. Abstract, a young pony researcher, sets out to uncover why her two professors refuse to speak of that place. And to quell her own interest in Science and Alchemy. The pony never expected to find a "thing" such as that in the bowels of A3L.
Author Note: This is the first story that i've truly written, and accept all criticism. Please be kind in your remarks, comments, suggestions for improvements, etc... . Wholeheartedly welcome any type of ideas for improvement, but I can't learn if i'm just told the story is horrible with no opinions on where to improve it.
This is an interesting story, but I feel as though I haven't fully experienced the story as you had intended it to be written. As I read it, I find it difficult to envision scenes as they unfold. By the end of the story, I left with no small amount of questions and confusion.
Why does Scarlet utter "Goodbye, little one." at the end?
What are those memories that seem to plague Abstract?
What exactly were those experiments?
If I had to guess, I'd say that's the reason for any downvotes and lack of upvotes, as there is nothing ideologically wrong with your story (i.e. contains a shipping people disagree with, etc.). Punctuation could use some cleaning, too, but that's an issue for any writer.
I am left disappointed with my inability to understand yet remain intrigued for answers. I would very much like to see this story given some attention (revision), so that it may express the tale as you had crafted it within your imagination.
*Very* well done for your first story.
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Thanks for the comment. Experiment is the first story that I really engrossed myself with when pertaining to fan fiction writing, or writing in general for that matter. Further down the road, I might take some time to revamp the story, and add in some parts to give an idea of what exactly is going on. Another theory i've had is releasing a potential sequel with a "missing report" file that illustrates the laboratory at its peak.
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If have any desire for a proofreader or what-have-you, send me a Message.
I really would like to see your story with the quality I believe it can have.
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Thanks, i'll keep that in mind when I revamp this story down the road. Currently working on several different stories, including my 1 1/2 year long story Diary of the Banished.