• Member Since 10th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Sep 10th, 2019

Sugar Rush

Comments ( 10 )

Cool story, bro. Nice job

hm. now I kinda wanna hear AJ's story bhind the hat XD
Bt a very interesting concept... how asimple hat could bring up sp may feelings...

I want to read a conclusion and AJ's side of things:pinkiehappy:

If the block of paragraphs were broken up, it would be a lot more appealing to read.However, the story itself really helped me wake up and tackle on the day! :ajsmug:


Ah, really D: ? I thought I'd broken it up enough.. I'll see to fixing that when I can. Thanks!

wow really descriptive and detailed. I really like that, you should write a story about the hat next.:pinkiehappy:


Thanks, I've been thinking about it.

The only flaw with this story is how it doesn't continue. I'd like to see a few more chapters, maybe a sequel from Applejack's point of view. The first couple chapters could be dealing with the feelings of how both felt when the hat got snatched -- the latter pair could deal with the return/make-up/ensuing hang-out.

Really fascinating and original read. I've always been curious about Applejack's hat and if someone would use it as a plot device somewhere. And further, I wondered how they'd use that plot device. The fact that you can draw such emotions as accomplishment, pride, jealousy, and anger from a Stetson really made me smile.

The only problem is -- it feels like a fragment of a story. I want more. I want it to be expanded upon. I want Applejack's Stetson to be a character. I want it to develop it's own non-personality, and be something that Applejack and Rainbow Dash can interact over.

In this little snippet, it feels like it's a binding link between them. Rainbow feels flirty/playful -- Applejack's her target! She flies just out of reach, watching Applejack vainly chase after her until she's satisfied, and bolts off with Applejack's prize possession. These two have danced this dance countless other times before, and I want to see what their complicated little... ritual leads to, where it came from, what each pony feels about it, and how those feelings are evolving, both over the theft, and of the thief/victim.

Soooo much potential. I really, really hope you don't give up on this. It's... complete, sure. But it could be more complete.

Either way, great read. I would've broken up those paragraphs a bit more; they're mighty chunky. But I can excuse that. I look forward to more on your views of this pairing.


DANG.... ya said "hat" one too many times dontcha think? :ajsmug:


Much appreciated! I've put some thought into that, and since so many people have wanted more, I'm definitely going to try.

I probably did, yes. Whoops.

Login or register to comment