Sometimes there is no villain. Sometimes there is no monster, except your own telltale heart. I killed her. I attacked them. And now Fluttershy and I are dead. Where do we go from here.
Created for a Halloween concept, expanded upon for fun and the drama. Read more in the blog. This series of short stories didn't start in a great place but is going to be both emotional, traumatic and action packed. They will often focus upon different characters but continuity will be maintained and the hardest part in all of the ponies lives now will be, how to continue living when Rarity and Fluttershy haven't.
Chapters (4)
Heh, I wouldn't call this exactly "Scary" But it was a good read, though it seemed rather "rushed". A few parts i had trouble keeping up with, but over all a very good read :)
huh?
Wow that's quite the campfire story, and I think in that story Rarity killed Angel Bunny not that he didn't deserve it (no offense).
I see what you did at the end there; it seemed a bit random and unneeded at first, but I've seen what it's done!
Not a too bad story, I mostly skimmed it because I've read Tell Tale Heart so many times, but that ending; Oh, that ending was a nice touch.
Angel, no words can describe how much I loath that bunny, so all in all I was pretty amused by this, and this story went well to me as for it being told in the "I"'s of 1st person and the oral tradition of nightmare night, sooo pretty amusing read indeed...
Woah! Nice twist at the ending! I was not expecting that...
keep these stories coming!
Thanks for the comments people, glad you liked the ending and took the time to comment. As Deathsia said I did rush a bit towards the end, since this was for a writing contest I was running out of time to write it. So I had to push the finally through, I hoped that the sense of timing of the telling also helped to portray the disjointed feeliing of Rarity's mind (and that's the excuse I'm going to stick to).
As for who it was Rarity killed in the first place, I was intentionally leaving that up to everyones imagination as I thought saying who it was would have detracted from the story. Thanks for the reading, please read my other fic and please go visit my sis!
The perspective shift at the end confused me.
Um why did you decide to expand this. I thought you ended the story by having it be a campfire horror story.
1555191 It was and is a campfire horror story, but if you read the twist right at the end involving rarity and Fluttershy you'll know it was also a ghost story. If a rather cheep one. Well, while the comments weren't made here I had a number of friends state that they wanted more ghost stories. So I decided to make this into a series.
If you want to know where I'm going with this then follow me. I'll post a blog of ideas I will be working through soon. I will also be taking ideas for other ghost stories to base off.
"WHY IS EVERYPONY I KNOW TURNING UP DEAD!!!!" That's what I want to know too Twilight!
i Will defiantly give it a read tomorrow im to tired right now
Um how could Rarity be alive in one segment and be dead in the other, is Sweetie Belle seeing things?
Also "You look like you’re in heat." How would Applebloom know about that, unless this takes place years down the road from the show when the crusaders are older.
This could do with some clarifcation.
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You clearly haven't been reading the stories attentively. Rarity and Fluttershy died at the end of Chapter one. They've been dead the whole time. And while their spirits are now back in ponyville they are still dead. I think what your referring to is the fact that I have scenes where you (the reader) can see the spirits even though the ponies can't. Also I'm assuming these fillies have the average knowledge of say, a nine year old (guestimated age).
If you don't think a 9 year old (especially a farm pony/person/child/filly) doesn't know about breeding and being in heat.. Then you clearly know nothing about children. They probably also have a basic understanding of romance, which we've seen in the show. I'm not however claiming that they are sexually active or know details so do not even go there. These stories aren't going above a NC13 rating.