Chapter 8: First Impressions
Day eventually turned to night as the sky darkened, until the room was bathed with nothing but the pale light of the silvery moon. Some time ago a nurse came in and placed a stool by the edge of the bed, allowing me to get off of it without hurting myself or needing assistance. So at least there was one thing within my control here.
At one point earlier I took advantage of said newfound freedom to use the bathroom. It was… definitely an awkward and novel experience. It wasn’t one I wanted to think about in retrospect, so I decided to just stop doing so.
I sat there, on the edge of the cushy bed, staring out the large window, feeling… mostly bad. I found myself fidgeting a bit, having nothing else to do. The despair I felt before had slowly faded into a trembling pool of anxiety. My brain was a cacophony of thought that swirled around everything that had happened since I first found that cave.
In an attempt to combat my restlessness, I started picking out pieces from my thoughts.
Do I have any regrets?
“Well, yeah.”
Do I have any goals here?
“Well, besides not dying… not really, I guess.”
What will I miss the most?
“…”
I let out a long groaning sigh as I laid back in bed. Normally if I was feeling this bad, I’d hop online and find something to distract myself with, but that wasn’t exactly an option here, obviously.
I’d… miss a lot of things.
Friends, family, the internet. Familiar streets, familiar forests, familiar faces. The routine of college classes, late nights online with friends. The list just kept going.
All lost from a single mistake.
I felt my eyes start to water again and tried to force myself to stop. “C’mon, I’ve cried enough today already. I can control myself better than this.”
My efforts were in vain, and tears slowly began dripping down my face. I simply didn’t have enough willpower. Or maybe I was just tired. Whatever.
I laid there, with nothing to do, nothing to distract myself with, and nowhere to be but here.
What was I even gonna do? I was never super specific with any of my life goals, but I at least had some semblance of a plan for my future.
But that was all wiped away in the void.
I let out another sigh and wiped away my tears, then sat back up, noting how awkward the motion was with my new body.
“Well, at least the view’s nice…”
I looked out to the surrounding landscape. It was almost picturesque, like a view that would be in the background of a Windows start screen or something. Vivid grasslands speckled with wildflowers and sprinkled with trees, illuminated softly by the moon above in a sky painted with stars.
I… think all I could do for now was appreciate the little things. I lost so much, but… I’m still myself. I still had a body to act upon the world with. I still had nature, in one form or another.
I thought back to Redheart’s words from before. Maybe it was silly to latch onto the words of the first being to give me support after the loss of everything I’ve ever loved, but I was a bit desperate for comfort in that moment.
“Maybe things can be okay. Maybe I can live comfortably. Maybe there are things worth living for here.”
Not all of me was convinced.
I let out a sigh. “Well, I certainly hope so.”
The pool of anxiety somewhat receded, my exhaustion was finally able to take over as I crawled under the covers and fell into an uncertain sleep.
Applejack opened the front doors of Ponyville General Hospital, letting through the soft light of the morning sun. She was here on a much better occasion than the morning prior, since the letter she received earlier that morning had informed her that Terra— or… whatever her real name was— had awoken, and Applejack would be allowed to visit.
After Applejack had dropped Terra off at the hospital the previous day, she met back with the former campers to exchange information. As it turned out, everypony was just as worried as Applejack. Now, she was determined to get some answers from the filly.
She walked up to the front desk, feeling a little antsy. Applejack had been the only one invited to visit, presumably not to overwhelm the poor foal, so she felt some pressure to make a good first impression.
The receptionist, Nurse Sweetheart, greeted her. “Hey there, Applejack. What’s brought you here this early?”
“Well uh, Ah got a letter from Redheart earlier this mornin’ sayin’ that Terra had woken up, and that Ah could come and visit,” Applejack explained, pulling the letter in question from under her hat. “We’ve all been mighty worried about her.”
“Ah, yes! Nurse Redheart told me that somepony would be around for a visit.” Sweetheart took a moment to look through some files, pulling out the file for Terra before adding, “She’s in room 216, second floor. You’re welcome to head on over.”
Applejack gave her thanks, and was about to walk away before adding, “Oh uh, are there any updates? On findin’ her parents or anythin’?”
Nurse Sweetheart glanced back at the file before she solemnly shook her head. “I’m afraid not. She’s not on any records, and she’s hinted that her parents have… passed away. We’ve already sent notice to the Ministry of Foal Welfare, to find her a suitable foster family should the search for her parents run dry.”
Applejack was shocked. “Passed away?”
Applejack felt a panging sympathy for the filly and a piercing anger for whoever could’ve left a foal helpless in the woods. A part of her worried about all the horrible things that might’ve happened.
Applejack shook away the shock as she thanked Sweetheart again, stowing the letter and making her way upstairs. As she walked down the long hospital hallways, she couldn’t help but worry even more. “What’ll she be like? Anxious? Bold? Oh, Ah hope she doesn’t try to hide anythin’. We are just tryin’ to help, after all.”
Applejack reached the correct door before giving a short knock. She slowly opened it, revealing a small, tan unicorn filly sitting on the end of a bed, staring out a large window on the opposite wall from the door. Applejack fumbled for words for a moment.
“Uh, howdy.”
The filly immediately startled, jumping a bit and turning her head as quick as a whip. Upon making eye contact with Applejack, the fear in her eyes dissipated and she let out a breath. “Oof, sorry,” she got out. “I was expecting a nurse or something.” She stood up and walked to the other side of the bed, facing Applejack.
Applejack smiled a little bit and replied, “Quite alright, sorry for startlin’ ya.”
The room descended into a brief awkward silence before the filly inquired, “Well uh… are you…?”
Oh, right. “My name’s Applejack, proprietor of Sweet Apple Acres. We make the best tastin’ apples and apple based treats you’ve ever eaten,” Applejack boasted. “And you…?”
The tan unicorn looked a little anxious before replying, “Oh, um… I’m still going by Terra, I guess. And I’m uh… not the proprietor of anything.”
Applejack was a little confused. “Not sharin’ her name? That's… odd…” She decided to shake it off for now in exchange for furthering the conversation.
“Well, it’s a pleasure to properly meet you, Terra. I’d shake your hoof, but…” she looked down at Terra’s injured foreleg and gave a nervous chuckle. “Anyways, you feelin’ alright now? You were more dinged up than a stubborn tree after buckin’ season when we found you.”
Terra simply blinked up at Applejack.
The earth pony chuckled a bit. “What, never heard a countryism before?”
Terra took a moment to reply. “Uhh… I don’t think so? But… I guess I’m doing alright. Better than before, at least. This thing still kinda hurts, though,” she said, holding up her bandaged foreleg, almost losing her balance on three legs but thankfully righting herself.
Applejack grimaced, remembering how bad the injury looked when she first saw it.
“Oh, yeah, and uh…” Terra continued timidly, sitting down on her hind legs, “Um… well… thanks for… rescuing me… I guess… I- I was out there for a while, and…”
She paused for a moment, her face twisting into a small frown. “Ugh, it was just one thing after another in that forest! I was trying my best, but…”
She stared down at her injured leg before her eyes widened. “I really could’ve died out there.”
She looked briefly horrified before she shook her head and continued, “So um… yeah, thanks.”
Applejack… was not sure how to process that. She knew she should be concerned at the very least. Before she could get the chance to reply though, Terra suddenly blurted, “Oh! What happened with that bear?”
“Well, uh…” Applejack pushed away her concern to ask about later, and replied, “It’s a bit of an interesting coincidence. That bear just happened to be one of the creatures my friend, Fluttershy, takes care of from time to time. He’s named Harry, Ah believe. He was mighty worried seein’ you out in the woods on your lonesome.”
At this information, Terra seemed immensely confused. “Wait, so… I wasn’t in any danger? Why did he chase me, then?”
“Nah, Harry’s a nice bear from what Ah’ve seen,” Applejack explained. “As for why he was chasin’ ya’, well… Ah’m not quite sure, myself. You’ll have to ask Fluttershy.”
Terra let out a long, exhausted sigh and gave an unenthused, “Great,” while rubbing the bandages on her foreleg with her left hoof.
There was another pause. “Oh, about that injury of yours,” Applejack probed. “How’d you go about gettin’ hurt like that?”
Terra grimaced. “Ugh, well… it was kinda dumb, actually. I scraped it on a rock while running from… Harry. Probably didn’t help that I was exhausted, too,” she said, looking slightly peeved.
“Well, that clears that up,” Applejack thought. “Still more to the mystery, though.”
“Speakin’ of,” Applejack segued, “You said you were exhausted? How long were ya out there for, anyway?”
The filly looked a little nervous, and took a moment to think before speaking. “Um… I’m not really sure, actually. I think… around 6 or 7 hours? Something like that…”
Applejack wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw a glint of fear in the foal’s eyes. “What the…” she thought, as her worry returned.
“That’s quite a while to be out in the woods by yourself. Did… somethin’ happen?”
The filly remained silent.
“Were you with anypony?”
…
“Uh… did you get lost?”
Nothing.
As Applejack asked questions, Terra shifted between expressions of discomfort and sending glares at the earth pony. Applejack knew something was wrong, but without any response from the filly, she knew she had to switch up her tactic. She was just too worried to give up now.
“Well, erm… Ah may not know a whole lot about you now, but Ah was told about what happened to your parents. Ah’m mighty sorry you had to go through somethin’ like that…” Applejack sympathized, looking down and tipping her hat.
“Ah lost mah parents too, when Ah was around your age. So… just know you’re not alone in what you’re feelin’. What Ah wouldn’t give to see ‘em again…” Applejack gently shook her head; she was getting distracted.
Terra seemed receptive to her story at least, as she simply looked up at the orange mare with a neutral expression.
“But Ah still had mah granny to take care of us in that time. Do you have any other family that could take you in?”
Terra’s face suddenly darkened, and she looked down at the floor. She took a moment before shaking her head.
Applejack was crushed. “No family at all? What in Celestia’s name happened to this filly?”
“Oh, dear…” was all Applejack could think to reply with. She reached out a hoof to comfort the young unicorn, but she shied away from Applejack’s touch and sent another glare her way.
Applejack sighed. Terra was a tougher egg to crack than she expected.
Applejack was suddenly reminded of her sister, and of all the times she’d managed to get lost or had ended up in dangerous scenarios. If Apple Bloom had been in the place of Terra here, Applejack wouldn’t hesitate to do everything in her power to bring justice to whoever let this happen to a filly.
“Look… Ah’m real sorry about your family. Ah can tell they meant a lot to you. But Ah can also tell somethin’ real bad happened, and if you don’t tell us what’s wrong, we won’t be able to fully help you.”
Still, the filly remained silent. Her face was laced with anxiety as she stared poignantly at the floor, holding back some barely restrained emotion.
“Did somethin’ happen right before you ended up in the forest? If it’s ‘bout your family, then—”
“STOP!” Terra shouted suddenly. Her face became painted with rage in an instant as she jumped up on all fours.
The sound took several seconds to dissipate from the room, until all that could be heard was the tan filly’s quickened, irritated breathing. Applejack was stunned.
A few more moments passed before Terra fell to her stomach and buried her face in her hooves.
Shortly after that, loud hoofsteps could be heard coming from the hallway, before the door swung open to reveal Nurse Redheart, her face filled with a variety of negative emotions. Upon making eye contact with Applejack, her expression changed to one of measured anger.
“Applejack. Lobby. Now.” Redheart said firmly.
“Uh oh.” thought Applejack.
God. Fucking. Damn it.
What was going on? Why couldn’t I control my emotions? Why was everything so much more intense? I don’t think I’ve ever been more anxious…
To top it all off, I had started crying from anger. I took deep, shaky breaths into my arms— forelegs, whatever— in a desperate attempt to calm my racing heart.
“Why wouldn’t Applejack just take the fucking hint and stop asking?! Ugh!”
If this is what it’ll feel like every time I try to withhold information from someone, then part of me wanted to just isolate from everyone and live out in the woods.
I laid there in silent frustration, directed at both Applejack and myself, until I heard the door close and a quiet, “Terra?” from somewhere in front of me.
I took an extra deep breath before wiping my eyes and slowly uncovering my head, seeing that the room no longer contained Applejack, much to my relief. Nurse Redheart had taken her place, looking towards me with a soft smile that hid a hint of concern. I settled myself into a seated position as I continued to take measured breaths.
“Are you feeling alright?” She asked, returning to that same gentle voice.
I shrugged.
“…What happened?”
I gave a short sigh. “Well uh… Applejack came in, we had a… decent chat, and then…”
“Ok umm… how do I say this without actually revealing what she was asking about? Hmm…”
“She… asked about some private stuff, and then kept asking… and then… I overreacted, I guess.”
“Now, I wouldn’t say that so quickly,” Redheart replied. “Was what she was asking you making you upset?”
I gave a nod and a quick, “Mhm.”
“And was that discomfort conveyed in a way that she should’ve been able to pick up on?”
“Uhh…” I thought for a moment. “I’m pretty sure, yeah.”
“Then that kind of reaction is expected. You don’t have to put yourself down just for feeling emotion,” Redheart concluded. “Regardless, she was the adult in that scenario. She should have known to back off and should have had the maturity to actually go through with it, especially in a situation as sensitive as yours. You don’t need to worry about it.”
Despite Redheart’s attempt to assuage my concerns, I was still feeling a little uncomfortable. “Hah, if only she knew that I used to be an adult— I mean, that I am an adult— or uh…” My brain stalled for a moment. “Oh god, how old are all these ponies?!”
I banished that thought for the time being, replying with a simple, “Ok.”
“Something to keep in mind, though,” Redheart continued, “is that Applejack tends to expect honesty more than the average pony. I’m sure she was only trying to help, in her own way, but she doesn’t know as much about your situation as I do. I’m sorry her good intentions came across the wrong way.
“There isn’t always going to be a perfect solution when there’s conflicting interests in a situation. I understand you’re upset, but try to keep in mind how Applejack feels too, okay?”
I gave a nod in response, despite my wariness. I’d probably give Applejack a chance eventually, but I didn't really want to right now.
“Alright,” Redheart segued, “I’m gonna go have a little talk with Applejack. Do you want me to get you anything while I’m gone?”
“Uhh… some breakfast would be great, if you could. Also, maybe something to do? It’s… kinda boring here.”
Redheart smiled. “Can do! See you soon,” she said, as she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. As soon as she was gone, I fell backwards on the bed and let out a long groan.
“Ugh, this is getting exhausting.”
Applejack sat on a chair in the hospital waiting room, nervously fidgeting with her hat. “Horseapples, Ah really blew it, huh…” she mumbled under her breath.
The sound of distant hoofsteps signaled the approach of Nurse Redheart, walking down the nearby stairs and approaching Applejack with furrowed brows and a stern look on her face. “Tell me what happened. Every. Detail.”
Applejack chuckled nervously and carefully explained the entire interaction, from the moment she walked through the front doors of the hospital to Redheart’s entrance in Terra’s room. Redheart’s expression persisted throughout, although it took on an air of concern when Applejack went over some of the more distressing details.
As Applejack finished explaining, Redheart sighed. “Well, I suppose it was an oversight on my part to not inform Sweetheart that Terra’s situation needed to be handled delicately. Still though, what were you thinking?” she accused.
“Well… Ah was just worried!” Applejack explained. “We’ve all been so worried about her since we found ‘er, and then there’s just nothin’ for a whole day. Ah suppose Ah just felt like Ah needed to get more information from her, else the visit would’ve been for nothin’. And… Ah kept thinkin’ of if Apple Bloom were in her place… Ah’d never forgive myself if Ah didn’t do everything Ah could to make things right.”
Redheart’s expression softened, and she countered, “Look, I get you’re worried. We all are. But it’s plainly clear to me that Terra is fragile and in distress, and she needs comfort more than anything right now. An explanation will come eventually, once she’s had enough time to process everything. Besides, we have other ways of finding out what happened that don’t involve questioning the shellshocked filly.”
Applejack looked apologetic and hung her head slightly, holding her hat with a hoof. “You’re right, Nurse Redheart. Ah’m sorry… just— Terra really came out of nowhere, y’know? Really anything could’ve happened…”
Redheart gave a weary sigh. “I know.”
Not just her parents, but her entire family.
Nurse Redheart held her head in her hooves as she hovered over yet another dead end letter sitting on her desk. The letter was from Canterlot, describing how they had no record of a filly that matched Terra’s description, just like the letters from Dodge Junction and Appleloosa.
At this rate, Redheart didn’t think there was much hope of finding anypony that knew the poor foal, especially after the new information she learned from Applejack.
Redheart almost didn’t want to believe it. She didn’t hear it directly from Terra after all, but… Applejack wouldn’t be one to lie.
Redheart’s best guess at the moment involved Terra and her family living somewhere isolated from everypony else, something terrible happening, and Terra being the only survivor. But that still didn’t explain some of Terra’s rather concerning behavior. What really happened?
Was there a new villain? One so horrible they’d stoop to the levels of killing ponies to carry out their evil plot? Redheart didn’t even want to entertain the idea.
Nevertheless, the nurse pulled out a sheet of paper and began writing another letter to the Ministry of Foal Welfare, detailing all of the new information regarding Terra. She thought of sending one to the princesses as well… but decided against it. The Ministry had connections to the diarchy regardless; if they considered Terra’s case important enough to bring to the top, they’d do it.
With another finished letter placed in the hospital’s mailbox, Redheart continued on her way, sincerely hoping for the best case scenario.
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An emotional regression from the differences between body and mind. I'm assuming in this world, kids mature and grow slower than humans, so a new body is technically the same age but at a different growth rate. I have absolute fate that if given a day or two in a library, they would know almost everything they need to graduate high school (aka just history, and I don't know about you, learning a completely different world history will be interesting and stick to one).
The only exception will be magic. Even if they were fantasy buffs, you need to know the knowledge needed for the world. I think the only thing they can get is how mana circulates in the body. If you never had that, you WILL feel it as if it's new. You know, except if you say fuck it, we ball and give them the DND 5e spell list. That can be interesting, especially with an artificer. I can already see the clockwork.
The only other thing I can say I recommend doing is NOT giving the MC a foster home at most. Put them in an orphanage. One reason is that foster homes are way too common of a story beet. I know it's because it lets other characters put an MC in situations they can't easily escape from, but it still feels overdone. (I'm not saying you have to listen to me on this; it's your story.) The other reason is that it lets Terra process things on their own time and not have a metaphorical clock on their head to learn everything or get found out.
Very nice.
I like that Redheart is wise enough to realize that questioning Terra is a really bad idea, even if Applejack doesn't. I think telling Applejack that Terra's parents are dead would constitute a breach of confidentiality though.
Very nice chapter, anyways.
What activities will Redheart find?
I’d guess things that could double as covert ways to gather information. Do the books have letters Terra can recognize? That would make her mystery more mysterious if she can’t read… 
Picture identification cards? Verbal games? Coordination? Reasoning or logic puzzles?
Make up some stories with hoof puppets? Oh, geeze. What would Redheart think about Empire Strikes Back if Terra tells that one?
“What the buck was her family doing!?” 
I forgot. Is she an earth pony?
I imagine there’s a pink pony somewhere in the fetal position and winding up like a spring with all the new-pony twitches going on..
Nice chapter, I hope she stays with Redheart.
good chapter ^^
that was not a surprise AJ would act like that, you could say that her element compels her to
Thanks for the chapter!
Thanks for the new chapter!
A nice read, I look forward to more :-)
11888122
huh??? is this supposed to have anything in it?
Lets see if this is enough to satisfy My hunger for negativity