Sunset Shimmer has never quite felt like she belonged in the human world, and today, she feels more distant from it—and more confined within it—than ever.
My entry for the Portal Transformations Contest I
Chapters (1)
Fresnow
Joined 2nd Jun, 2017 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- jphenix · 2.3k words · 270 views
- MagnetBolt · 9.7k words · 31 3 · 378 views
- Fresnow · 5.7k words · 24 2 · 551 views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.087 seconds
Total duration
1,001 users online
1,433,270 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Is exilium a real word?
11827887
"Exilium" (also spelled "Exsilium") is Latin for exile.
Absolutely loved it. I loved how Sunset feels torn between her two homes and how well it’s shown. We hear her thoughts and why she feels that way and you sell it so well!
11828109
Thanks for the kind words!
A wonderful story！
Wow. Just wow.
Sunset angst is not rare, Sunset angsting over her two homes is even less rare, and yet, you’ve managed to craft a piece that brigs something new to the table. You’ve managed to pull us into Sunset’s mind and really feel her inner conflict. I also want to point that it’s in-character for Sunset to snap at her own friends in moments of stress and frustration. And rest assured that no matter how rambly and vent-y it feels to you, not a single word was wasted. Every word has its place and fits perfectly.
I always enjoy a good introspective piece and this one totally delivered.
And I am pleased to announce that Exelium is the last story in my first ’Heartstrings’ bookshelf, capping it a hundred. I can now open Part 2!
11828315
Thanks so much for the kind comment! Your praise means a lot, and I'm glad you enjoyed my story. Also, I'm honored that you would consider my story a work of art! It's always nice to know that someone was able to appreciate something I created.
11828321
Iʼve shortened the description of the Heartstrings as Iʼve closed it. You can get the full description here.
Never seen Sunset angst with added...I don't know what to call it. Body dysphoria? Species dysphoria? But I really liked this.
This is excellent! As a trans person who spends all her time in escapist fantasies---which is the reason I'm currently browsing this website---I really empathize with Sunset here, for a number of reasons.
I will confess that I was rooting for her to go back through the portal; while the intention is clearly that Sci-Twi can help her be happy in this world, I wanted badly to yell at Sunset that letting yourself have something you desperately want doesn't constitute giving up, and that she can stay in contact with Sci-Twi and her friends from Equestria. That said, any story that has me caring about the characters enough to talk to them in my head is a good one, and this is no exception.
Fantastic work <3
11828938
Glad you liked it! I think 'species dysphoria' is the most applicable term.
11829002
Thank you so much for the kind words! It means a lot that someone was able to connect with my story in such a personal way. As for the portal stuff, the ending was meant to be less than final. Her attachment to Sci-Twi convincing her to stay in the human world is definitely a temporary (and even unhealthy) solution. So I'd like to believe there's a real possibility of Sunset making the trip across in the future, probably even due to Sci-Twi's advice (though that will have to stay speculative since there most likely won't be a sequel). Anyways, thanks again for the comment, and I hope this response helps give a little more context to the story.
11829060
Oh, interesting! I suppose I was thinking more about what typical story conventions would dictate than what this specific one was implying. I am less sad now.
Touching work, though it is that particular breed of Sunset angst where I want to shake her by the shoulders and shout “You’ve fired friendship rainbows with these girls! They genuinely care about you! Kiss the purple one already!”
That’s not to say I didn’t like it. It’s a fantastic portrait of crushing despair and the incredible power of even one person reaching out. The species dysphoria was also fantastic, along with the motorcycle acting as an almost satisfactory substitute for galloping through a field. It’s just that after all Sunset’s been through with these girls, I’d hope more of her triumphs would factor into her ruminations. But she’s hardly in the mood to appreciate them…
Again, wonderful story, my complex feelings aside. Thank you for it.