- Member Since 2nd Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 8 hours ago
Trixie by Night
Fetish account that accidentally became the main one when I came out as trans. Still horny posting; shamelessly nerdy too. She/her.
Trixie by Night
Joined 2nd Jun, 2017 ·
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i am very curious to see what Twilight has done to her friends. I cannot wait to see who was bred by who
This shows promise - keep at it author!
11763828
Believe it or not, breeding was not on my top 5 of messed-up things to indulge when writing this, but I added it on the tags because it's kind of inevitable with all the other stuff going on.
11763861
Thank you. Really gald people are liking this. I literally haven't written in years (as the pacing, lack of detailed descriptions and general grammar may show here), and never even suggestive in my life. But inspiration hit unexpectedly, and here we are.
11764288
Huh, interesting to learn
Who is "they"?
11764753
Author said that they made Applejack non-binary so I'm assuming all the uses of They/Them/Their in the chapter are for Applejack.
-----
Interesting stuff, Trixie by Night. Not often you see Amazonian characters with muscles on them.
11764753
Applejack.
11764761
At first I was just gonna make them ambiguously gendered, as part of 'shedding their mortality' beat. But as the chapter progressed, and added more transhumanist beats (like modifying their own body, changing species) it just clicked in place for them to be nonbinary.
Also, I think I'm out of the loop. Shouldn't an amazonian character have muscle on them on general principle?
11764761
when viewing a text document, the author's notes are not displayed.
11764763
I'll leave it without comment.
11764763
You would think so, but most stories I've read with "Amazonian" characters just give them large breasts but don't otherwise describe them as muscular. Bit of a pet peeve of mine.
PS AJ is now solar powered like the apple trees she loves!
11764771
And here I am, the crazy bisexual giving them all the muscle and no breasts, lol. I swear the hard contrast was unintentional.
Also, yeah. When I pictured Applejack literally growing every vegetable under Equestria, it made sense to make them more plant-like. Make them some sort of Arcadian nature god, like Pan or Demeter, in the same way Twilight resembles more Slaanesh or Lilith.
Good job the single point of failure for supplying the world is so difficult to break.
I wonder which Dragon form is being used to supply all the egg geodes for the minerals and metals to save on mining, extracted from Mantle and Magma feed?
11765031
Are we talking about Twilight deus-ex-machina'ing the supply lines, or just the general disregard for the laws of conservation of mass and energy?
And the later may be an spoiler. I think.
Look, I was thinking on kink first, and then the worldbuilding just happened.
11765172
worldbuilding and characterization are the key to immersion so the reader understands the character's motivations and has context- you might actually need a bit more of them to hit the optimal ratio of plot to smut. Why were each of the mane 6 modified in different ways for example? Why hide away the elements like this? Just for lewd reasons or was it originally something else? Why did the mane 6 all agree to live underground like this - what about Pinkie planning parties or Rarity's business? Why is Ponyville buried? Just a few of the questions that come up.
There's some grammatical errors
chap 1:
sentence with "took notice" is fragmented
in the paragraph with "final set of stairs" content -> contents
chap 2:
the paragraph with "circular room" use "and" instead of one of those commas in the second sentence or remove one of the commas, or both
also in that same paragraph "soften" should be either "soft" or "softened"
There's probably a few more in the chapter but I'm out of time to look for now
But most importantly have fun with it - good grammar comes with practice, and if you're not enjoying it you won't be as motivated to write and get that practice. Don't worry if it hurts your like/dislike ratio at first.
11765797
Okay, first of all, thank you the world for feedback. Honestly the part I missed the most about writing.
Secondly, yeah. I guess I'm too stubborn to 'only' write smut, so now we have a plot. And I think I can answer some of those question without spoilers. For example, each of the Mane Six were changed in different ways because each one was an experiment (roll credits). Twilight even calls Applejack her first success, but not her first attempt.
Secondly, at least Applejack agreed to be relegated to her chamber because she was too powerful to not cause mayor problems outside of it. We even see Twilight comparing her being out to a natural disaster being unleashed. So it wasn't all lewd reasons. Pinkie and Rarity are spoilers, though.
And again, thanks. I'm actually having fun just writing again.
Dash the Sisyphean Hamster?
11772788
It's less Sisyphean and more Huitzilopochtli. Only instead of the day/night cycle, it's the source of magic.
But yeah. Twilight saw Rainbow was just 'too fast' and put her on a giant wheel.
A very horny one.
So when the next chapter be out yet?
11845921
Terribly sorry. Real life stuff happened that kept me this long from writing, and other more personal stuff that honestly keeps me away from the proper mental place to write this story in particular.
Take care.
11884687
So who’s is next after Rainbow Blitz?
11884753
Rarity, then Fluttershy, the Pinkie. Same order as the original two-parter.
11885125
Ok