Two Thin Coats
"There are just... so many."
"I know. It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"That's one word for it, I suppose."
You and your wife, the ex-princess Celestia, stand before a large, flat wall. Many shelves are mounted upon this wall, each displaying dozens upon dozens of plastic boxes depicting small models. These models take many forms and come in all shapes and sizes. The many, many options to choose from throw Celestia off guard. She knew about this little hobby of yours, but she didn't realize how in-depth it all is.
"Well? See one you like?"
"Frankly, sunshine, it's hard to tell. I'm not quite sure what I'm looking at."
"Well, they're separated by faction, so let's do a brief rundown, shall we?"
"S-sure, sunshine."
You give your wife a smile before slowly and carefully going over each faction in as simple of terms as possible. The ponies in the cool armor are the Space Marines, soldiers created for the sole purpose of battle. The green beast-like creatures are Orks, a race of aliens that love war. The scary bugs are Tyranids, creatures that consume all organic life in their path.
This conversation goes on for a while, and you do everything in your power to not start Celestia down the rabbit hole that is Warhammer 40,000 lore. Eventually, you finish your explanations and turn back to her with a sheepish grin on your face.
"But don't forget the most important thing here."
"And what's that?"
"Rule of cool."
"Rule of cool?"
"Pick whichever one you think is the coolest. Never mind their story, or how they work in the game. Since you said you wanted to get into the hobby like I do, and all I do is build and paint models I like, then all you should worry about is picking out a kit you think looks like fun."
"Hmm..."
Celestia squints her eyes as she examines the boxes in more detail. In the meantime, you quickly glance around the rest of the hobby shop. A few ponies are in the extra space behind the counter playing a few games of Warhammer themselves, though it's clear that they're all quite distracted by the presence of your lovely wife. She is still more or less a celebrity, you suppose, and you doubt that they ever expected to see her visit someplace like this.
A few moments later, Celestia smiles and nods to herself before using her magic to grab a box from the top shelf. She happily levitates it towards you and lets you take a look.
"Custodes, huh? Not a bad choice. And... somewhat fitting for you, actually."
"I just like how bright and in-your-face their armor is. Hah, I should have gotten something like that for the Royal Guard!"
The two of you share a laugh as you make the purchase. She picked out a squad of five units, each a stallion clad in big, gold armor and wielding massive weapons and shields. They're a bit more complex than some other options she could have picked, but you're not going to judge. Learning and getting better is half the fun, after all!
After exchanging a glance and a nod, the two of you depart from the hobby shop and head back to your quiet Ponyville home. Luckily for Celestia, you already have a pair of cutters, plenty of glue, and every shade of paint and primer she could ever need.
This should be interesting.
Celestia looks at the table in front of her with a confused expression. The collection of gray plastic sprues spread out before her seems to put her on edge.
"Hm? What's up, Tia?"
"Wh-what are these?"
"The sprues? Those are the parts you'll use to build the models."
"The PARTS?"
"...Yes?"
"I thought they came packaged like this!"
Celestia holds up the box and points to the professionally painted, finished models pictured on the front.
"Haha! Not at all! Where would be the fun in that?"
"What do you mean?"
"At that point, it'd just be basic figure collecting. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but that's not exactly the appeal of Warhammer."
"So... I need to build them?"
"Right."
"And then paint them?"
"Yup! I'm not sure why you seem so surprised by that, though. You've seen me doing both of those things before."
"I never really connected the dots. I didn't realize that these hunks of plastic and the finished models were the same thing. A-and I thought that when you were painting, you were just customizing already finished models."
"Nope, it's all done from scratch."
"..."
"...Having second thoughts?"
"N-no! I can do this! Pass me those cutters!"
Retrieving the instruction manual, a half-filled bottle of plastic glue and your well-used cutters, Celestia gets to work on putting together her first model. You lean back and watch as she struggles to do so, occasionally answering a question clarifying where something is supposed to go or where she is supposed to cut. All the while, a smile is plastered onto your face.
You and Celestia have been married for a few years now. The two of you get along extremely well, despite the fact that you're an alien from another world. Beyond the physical differences, you're both just extremely different individuals. She's much more social and prone to seeking out thrills and fun. Meanwhile, you're much more reserved, capable of relishing in the peace and quiet. You'd think this would cause some friction in your relationship, but surprisingly, it only makes you love each other even more. She pushes you outside your comfort zone to see and experience things you never would otherwise, while you help her learn how to relax after over a thousand years of having the most stressful job in Equestria. All in all, things are going pretty great.
However, your lovely wife approached you a few days ago as you were painting a Necron. She's seen you doing things like this before, but she never really questioned it. You were surprised by her sudden interest, but you explained that the process of building and painting models is, to you, a relaxing yet fulfilling pastime. Apparently, this piqued her curiosity. She expressed disappointment in her inability to relate to most of your hobbies, and a little while later, she asked if she could give it a try.
Now, here you are, watching with great interest as she slowly places the head onto her first model, finally finishing it.
"I did it!"
"Hoho, look at that!" You walk around the table, placing your hands on her shoulders and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before inspecting the model in a bit more detail. "Ooo, uhh..."
"Hm? What's wrong?"
"I think you used the wrong shoulder piece."
Celestia looks at the model's shoulders. Sure enough, one of them is on backwards and was clearly designed for one of the other models in the kit.
"Dang it! H-how do I undo it?"
"The glue is mostly dry already. I wouldn't recommend trying to pry it off, you could make it worse. Since it's your first model, let's just run with it, okay?"
"Ugh... that's going to bother me to no end."
"It's okay! We all make mistakes like this. And it's your first time! I certainly wasn't expecting you to get it perfect!"
You also choose not to mention the many noticeable scratch marks and plastic nubs from where she cut poorly. The poor mare might have a heart attack if you do so.
Celestia sighs before speaking up again.
"Fine, if you say so. What's next?"
"Well, that's up to you. Your kit has five total models in it. You could start on the second, or if you'd prefer to see the other half of the process, we could try to paint this one here."
After some deliberation, Celestia seems to come to a decision.
"Let's paint that one, that way I know what the whole procedure is like from beginning to end."
"Sure! I'll go grab some primer."
"Okay, so what now?"
Celestia once again sits before the model, now primed, dried, and ready to be painted. A plethora of bottles, many brushes, some paper towels, a paint palette, and a cup of water surround her, and she looks around at them as though she's completely overwhelmed.
"Well, let's start with this: How do you want to paint them?"
"I thought they were supposed to be gold?"
"That's what they are on the box, but they're YOUR models, Tia. You can paint them however you like."
"...I-I think I'll stick with gold."
"Sure. We can start with your base coats, then. Luckily for you, I have some base gold right here." You set the appropriate bottle in front of her, as well as a small brush. Celestia grabs the brush and nearly dips it into the paint before you stop her. "Woah woah woah! Not so fast!"
"What's wrong?"
"You'll want to pour a little bit of the paint onto your palette, then add some water to it bit by bit until you get the consistency you want. Here, let me show you."
You guide the alicorn through the motions of preparing the paint and using small strokes to check when the consistency of said paint is just right.
"I would have never thought to do that."
"I'm not saying it's impossible without doing that, but you're far less likely to get it all goopy and uneven. Now, remember what I told you while we were priming it?"
"Uh... 'two thin coats?'"
"Exactly. Two thin base coats. Go over the whole model with that one color, then go over it again."
The two of you slowly go through the entire painting process, from base coats, to details, to highlights, to even some more advanced techniques like dry brushing. Finally, the model is painted. You quickly show her how to texture the base, and her first ever model is completely finished.
"There you go! Your very first Custodes!"
The two of you look at the model. To be frank, it doesn't look incredible. The shoulder is wrong, the paint job is very clearly an amateur's work, and there are a few misplaced splotches and uneven sections that make the whole thing look... less than professional. However, it doesn't look terrible, either. It certainly looks better than YOUR first attempt, that's for sure.
"So this is what the hobby is like."
"Sure is! How do you like it?"
"..."
Celestia narrows her eyes and looks away from you. It's an expression you don't see from her all that often.
"Tia?"
"...I-it's fun!"
She suddenly turns back to you and gives you an obviously forced smile. You give her a gentle one right back.
"Come on, Tia. You're obviously lying."
"..."
"What's wrong?"
After a few silent moments, she sighs once again.
"It... it really wasn't fun. I felt stressed the whole time I was building it, I thought painting it was long and tedious, I have a headache, and the darn thing doesn't even look very good!" You open your mouth to speak, but she puts a hoof up to stop you. "And yes, I get it. I'll 'get better with time.' But even setting the quality of the model aside, I just... didn't like it."
She looks you in the eyes once more, her expression disheartened and somewhat apologetic. With your smile widening, you lean forwards and wrap your wife in a sudden, tight hug. She blushes as she attempts to compose herself following your sudden display of affection.
"Good for you, Tia."
"S-Sunshine? You aren't upset?"
"Why would I be?" You pull back and hold her two front hooves in your hands. "You gave the hobby, something that we both know is far from your comfort zone, a genuine shot for my sake. You put up with the entire process to see if you could relate to me, even though it clearly wasn't your thing from the get-go. How could I be anything but happy?"
"Surely you'd be happier if I DID enjoy it."
"Mmm... not particularly. What's important to me is that YOU have fun. Yes, I enjoy building and painting models, but that doesn't mean you have to!"
"Still, I feel as though I'm letting you down, somehow."
"...Tia, do you remember the last time you put me on a zip line?"
"Over by Vanhoover? How could I forget? Your face was green for hours."
"And ever since then, you haven't asked me to join you on your zip lines."
"Right, because you hate them. Where are you going with th- ohhhhhhhh."
You give her hooves a quick squeeze and you widen your smile.
"Thank you for trying, Tia. Just the fact that you're willing to try so hard for me means a lot."
"Hmhm. Of course, my sunshine."
Celestia leans forward, and the two of you share a quick, love-filled kiss.
You and Celestia might be different, but that doesn't mean you don't love each other. It's okay to not share the same interests, so long as the unshakable love you have for each other holds strong. Human or pony, extrovert or introvert, model-builder or zip liner... it doesn't matter. And as your wife heads off to bed for the evening, you take a moment to appreciate your model-building desk, now featuring a crudely made Custodes model proudly displayed for all to see.
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Admit it, Anon's real name is Duncan.
I've never understood Warhammer 40k but not all hobbies are for everyone.
You should do a sequel where he does it with luna and she loves it and it make tia jealous
11690104
There is a prequel story called the Horus Heresy. It explains quite a bit.
11690104
All you need to really understand is that the entire storyline exists primarily for the purpose of Games Workshop selling a staggeringly ridiculous quantity of sourcebooks, official minis, and official paint at testicle-shriveling prices to a bunch of people who (all too often) have the social skills of rabid badgers who've just had nettles rubbed against their assholes.
11690138
Brother... may you seek the 3d printing / home brew community.
It's triple the fun at a fraction the price.
11690140
Or just switch to Battletech.
I'm glad we can all agree Celestia picks Custodes.
Now I want to write a story of all the villains in MLP playing 40k together.
11690138
I haven’t read the story but I could not let a descriptive passage of this quality go unremarked, you champion wordsmith.
11690119
Agreed
In the Era of G5 time, it's a historical figure(along with the others).
derpicdn.net/img/view/2021/7/4/2649063.png
Okay. Gotta do a Discord by pulling my eyes from their sockets and roll them on the ground...
That whole Warhammer thing clearly has no interest to me, but like any person should, I am happy to those whose hobbies are in that vein. I'm OG, and my particular hobby are model trains. AND collecting ponies.
Still, what this story's entire message is summed up in that last paragraph. That is the real reason, and I am grateful to the author for that message. We all love Tia, regardless of her sometimes miscues or overly motherly actions.
Good story. Have a like and a moustache:
Celestia has obviously never heard of our lord and god, Duncan Rhodes. For shame. Still funny. Never enough of the Warhammer hobby is done on this site. Much easier to integrate than the universe itself.
Short, sweet, and honestly a very real example of a healthy relationship involving your partner’s hobbies. Loved it!
11690140
.
Appreciate the tip, but I never made the mistake of getting into WH to begin with, beyond dipping a toe with the purchase of a few PC games like Vermintide 2. So I don't need the hobby equivalent of methadone to get myself right
11690155
Already play that one, as it happens, though it's been a good few years since I played it as anything but a PC game. Kind of wonder if we'll ever again see anything from whatever Clans (or successor society) survived the Wars of Reaving.
Top cute.
11690126
Prequel "story" my ass, that shit is 54 books
11690358
It's a prequel as far as I'm concerned. By at least 10,000 years.
11690425
I once got a friend to run away from me while i (comically poorly) explained the lore of WH40K
11690571
Ahh WH40K... where ideological based genocides are neither political nor grudge based.
It's just later that afternoon.
You left out a crucial detail, the insane cost.
11690609
In a world of ponies and magic and friendship, I would like to believe that the predatory business practices of GW do not exist.
Also, Celestia is kinda loaded.
You release banger after banger. Keep it up!
11690727
It's not Games-Workshop without scumy business practices though. Every true Warhammer fan knows that.
I say it was fun to read about one of the ponies trying out the hobby, I know it's giving me some inspiration to continue painting my space marines not just because I like it but to also be able to play with them in the game too. I really hope in time I see more stories either in the EG or FIM world give the hobby of 40k a try. Maybe one day I'll write one too for fun.
11690775
And the corollary, it's not WH without GW.
As an old wargamer, I approve of this story! It reminds me of my pile of shame and my never-ending quest for more time to shrink it.
11691065
They don't make Warhammer any more so it would have to be.
Now I got to ask. What army do you collect? (if you don't mind telling.)
This was really sweet and enjoyable, it felt like an actual real life experience between two lovers trying to understand eachother better. While also just being an opportunity to talk about a hobby that has caught the attention of many people.
11690425
Didn't say it wasn't, I was commenting on the fact that calling it a story gives the wrong impression of it's length
11691196
I have a completed Imperial Fist Primaris Space Marine army, as well as an allied Canis Rex. It was my first army so a lot of them look a bit sloppy, but I still love them. They're also the ones I use when I play the game, but I only play with a few local friends and none of us take it all that seriously.
What I'm much more proud of is my current project, an unspecific Tzeentch army. Tons of Thousand Sons, some Tzeentch daemons, a Tzeentch-aligned Chaos Knight and War Dogs, and even some Tzeentch-aligned Chaos Marines. I do not use these guys for the actual game, though. I just like models a lot!
THIN YOUR PAINTS!
11690155
Always a good choice. Because it is the superior game. I just painted a Hellbringer today!
Saw this posted (haven't read it yet), and figured the scroll doesn't really fit, being a relic of the original image, rather than the intended subject for Celestia's attention (the figs). So I did a quick and dirty job airbrushing the scroll out, if you'd rather use that.
https://imgur.com/jrObwqm
11691712
Wow, thanks!
11691740
No problemo!
media2.giphy.com/media/3o6Mb9EC7mNqXl9x7y/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47iukwiyxe34d1sk0m7o6mxqauli78zfu9vc472c7h&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
80th Story
11691532
Pained Scream while panning into a horribly morphed guardsman with the worlds worst eyes
11692091
That had me snorting with laughter.
11691615
Dirty Clanner, you mean a Loki.
Adorable.
And I just started painting my first set of Changelings. I mean Tyranids. I’ve never played and I’n about 1940 points away from an army but I love painting the little
guys.
11692326
BAH! Loki is a terrible name for that fine duelist Mech!
11693818
Need I remind you of that day on Tukayyid 20 May 3052 that you lost epically?
11694410
Not me, I play Blood Spirits.
There are times I want to try miniatures. Then I see the price of them, and how GW has decided to treat fan creations, and I wholeheartedly decide not to do so.
11701872
Relatable! I've been getting more and more into other options like Gunpla lately specifically because of that. They scratch my model building itch while being (comparably) much more affordable.
11695045
IRRELEVANT!!! MY POINT STILL STANDS!!!!
11691423
.
Liking the look of an army is 99.999% of the reason anyone should buy whatever army they want of course